Zombie

Impressive kids http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-17666740

Yeah, but you'll still be reading the threads, lurking in the background, plotting your comeback Arnie style ...

Is that a Mod I detect, preparing to splatter some red ink in this thread ...

Succulent. I dunno, there's just something about the word. It's just too .... moist Oh, and Y_B - I think you forgot to mention that the "throbbing organ" was also "engorged" ...

Politicians

Two more peeves driving home on Sunday: The driver who was trundling along at 40 in a 60 speed limit, with a long crocodile of angry motorists behind, veins throbbing dangerously on their temples as they attempted increasing dangerous overtaking manoeuvres, and who continued at 40 when the speed limit dropped to 30 Another driver who refused to make room for a passing motorbike to pull in front of him. Why? The driver was not gonna be held up, the bike was soon outa sight. Personally, I encourage bikers to pull in front of me. What's not to like about having a tightly leather-clab biker atop his throbbing mount right in front of you?

Journey As in "Now let's look back at Billy-Bob's incredible journey ..." (just as he's being booted off X-Factor)

True. I've just grabbed my copy off the bookshelf - a first edition! - and on the back of the dust jacket there's a comment from Oliver Sacks "... shows great insight into the autistic mind ..." while the flyleaf blurb says "Christopher is 15 and has Asperger's, a form of autism". So it seems the publishers couldn't make up their minds! Interestingly, in a later interview Mark Haddon said "I wish I'd never allowed the publishers to put the word "Asperger's" on the cover of Curious Incident. It became an issue book, and I found myself repeatedly saying: it's not really about Asperger's, it's about difference. It's about acceptance of others. It's about that sidelong, Martian view of the world." But really none of this matters - it's just a brilliant book

Gotta be 10 days old. Maybe if I shift it from the fridge to the airing cupboard it'll hatch ...

Yeah, I've been thinking about that. Definitely not one to be boiled - I wanna see that critter first

Just balanced my remaining egg on end again, a week after the spring equinox. But no fanfare of triumphal trumpets. I feel sad in a way. It would be nice to have physical contact in your own kitchen with the "celestial mechanics", such as can be experienced in a total solar eclipse, or at those megalithic sites where the sun aligns with stones, or shines into an inner room on just one day a year. Its this sort of experience that jerks us out of our day to day nose-to-the-grind existence and makes us realize that we are all just specks in a vast cosmos and unimaginable eons of time. Sorry Mike. I feel like a real party pooper

Brains of left and right handers are wired differently too e.g. the theme in the Adagio to Tchaikovsky's 6th Symphony Pathetique may be heard differently according to whether 1st and 2nd violins are positioned to the left and right (the theme most people hear is not played by either group of violins!) ????? Er, so Graeme, how do you *interact* with aliens? Edit to add: great book narrated by autistic boy character is Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. It's brilliant and gives a real insight into the boy's way of thinking. It's funny too.

Erm, so what does happen to the "50 million plus 14 million long term unemployed" in the US with no health insurance and no savings if they need healthcare for something serious, for example: - dialysis? - medication for angina? - an appendectomy? - heart attack? - emergency admission to hospital?

Newsflash: I've just balanced my remaining egg (I ate the other one as I said earlier )

Interesting. "Alright" is listed in my ancient Chambers Twentieth Century Dictionary as "an unaccepted spelling of all right". That was in 1972, so this naughty contraction had clearly wormed its way into sufficiently common usage at least since the 1960s (hmm, Wiki style guide says no apostrophe here, but is that definitive?) and is still, apparently, in common usage more than 40 years later. You're correct that "alright will eventually establish itself in the long run" because if enough people use it then it will become "correct". The fact is this is how English (syntax and words) has evolved to become what we know today. Purists and strict grammarians may resist change as an abomination, and many of us "fight" against "incorrect" usage, but change is a good thing. One of the reasons English has become so dominant is its (yay, no apostrophe!) uncontrolled ability to evolve new words, new constructions, and new usages. Change is the strength of the English language, keeping it fresh, vibrant and powerful. Contrast the pitiful attempts of the Académie Française to regulate and control the French language and consider the current status of French as a World language. All right, personally I don't necessarily agree with many of these changes but, to use the Vogons' favourite phrase, I am afraid "resistance is useless"

Yes, that's right. Everything's upside down in Australia, so you'll probably have to balance the eggs on their pointy ends to compensate

How am I gonna keep my eggs till then? And I ate one for lunch so there's just one left. You'll have to accept the experiment results with new eggs. Meantime, you can have side bets on the outcome (I can't bet because I know what the result will be )

Ha ha - if I haven't eaten them by then Edit: apparently it's not strictly true that day and night are equal length on these two days - due to refraction, the sun is "bent" through the Earth's atmosphere to increase the day length slightly

Cool Mike. I've just done it with one egg. Then another to confirm it wasn't a fluke. There again, I dare say I'll be able to amaze myself doing the same thing tomorrow. And next week. And in three months' time The only scientific significance of the spring and autumn equinoxes is that day and night are the same wherever you are on the planet on just those two days in the year. You can blame the Chinese for this urban myth (along with lots of other medicinal nonsense )

3) Yeah, but if it was a hot sexy muscley rugby player walking wet-dream kinda guy maybe I'd just sit back and enjoy the frottage thrills ...

Barber. I like his pole

This was on the Graham Norton Show on Friday and I've been playing it ever since French DJ David Guetta "Titanium" (plus cool projection graphics) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2MF9xz104M

Slow appliances e.g. my digital radio and microchipped vacuum cleaner. The radio takes about 2 secs to start up and the vac about 5 seconds (my Mum's old old trannie and Hoover are instant!). Here's what happens: Me: switch on evil vac Evil vac: what was that? Oh yeah switch-on time, Activate launch sequence ... - microchip on? Check - software initialized? Check - no tangled bits of fluff / rotting food in motorised suction nozzle thing? Check Me: *experiencing extreme time-dilation-effect* kicks evil vac and screams lots of bad words Evil vac *still playing dead*: - software booted up? Check - no reason to abort launch sequence? Check - suction nozzle motor spinning up? Check That's 5 seconds. Every time! As I switch the thing on/off at least 12 times going around the house that's a whole minute gone from my life. I'll never get it back. Wasted - what can you usefully do in 5 secs? Pick your nose, scratch your bum. That's about it. In the lifetime of this wretched appliance it will have sucked up hours of my life. I hate it.

Wow, and body hair. No-one's mentioned this. I like hairy legs too

Only one room? Oh my, there's a surprise (heheheh) Aaargh, no more chapters to read *sinks into sough of despond* *then perks up as nasty idea pops into brain* You're so gonna get nominated next year for evil cliffhanger Queen