Aditus
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Poetry Prompt 15 - Free Verse: Kiss
Aditus commented on Aditus's story chapter in Poetry Prompt 15 - Free Verse: Kiss
Mission accomplished then, huh? Thank you, Parker! -
Poetry Prompt # 15 - Free Verse
Aditus commented on Dolores Esteban's story chapter in Poetry Prompt # 15 - Free Verse
I like it! -
Kiss I can feel you watching the storm threatening to break free. Planets are colliding, giving birth to ideas. And they will try to cage them. Separate them again. And you stroll through the fields, laughing at their clumsy attempts.
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'What I enjoy most in all of your stories is how organic the characters and setting feel. This is no different. I could almost walk into Elijah's Way tomorrow.' That's exactly what I'm trying to do, Def! I'm so happy you said that! Thank you! Everyone seems to like Kinney. He just happened and I hope I can do him justice in the next chapters. I agree with you: Morgan needs a dog!
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You are a very good observer, Peter. That's all I'm going to say besides thank you for this wonderful comment.
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lol Yeah, this me trying my best not to bore my readers. I'm upping the ante here... Some more details yet to come before we get to the power struggle. Thank you for your continuous support, Puppi!
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Thank you, Lit! Beware of the glue! lol Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he'd lose it. Make everyone aware there is more to him than Tristan and Luis. But would he be a good mate for the King then?
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Thank you, Cannd! I guess Noël is overwhelmed and needs to sort everything out first. He seems to be angry because everyone is happy to see someone else but not him. I can promise he'll get over it. I sometimes fear I'm putting too much stuff into this story. I'm happy you like my additions.
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Thank you, Def. Your comment shows that Noel's ordeal comes across perfectly. What could I probably want more than a reader identifying herself with the MC and suffering through his problems? I'm so very glad you trust him, and me , to solve this satisfactorily. To invent the Seraei was more difficult than I thought. I expect to screw up with every chapter, contradict myself and some-such. Reading your taken by them and my other guys is extra motivating!
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The Holly and the Ivy Chapter Five I was leaning against the bathroom door at 5.30 in the morning, sorting through my feelings. Angry. Yes. Make this bold, underlined and in Italics. Confused. What I always thought was me wasn’t me but some other people – dead people. Luis and Tristan. Inside me? I was only the glue? I don’t think so! I’m no glue. All this was giving me a headache. My sleep-addled brain needed caffeine. Badly. This wasn’t a problem I could solve quickly while hiding in the bat
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I'm with the others and think Eustace knows there's something wrong. He help anyway. Eric can't relax, but at least he can live a little easier. As can I - for a while I guess.
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It's hard to see how Stefan/Eric is always second guessing himself and never trusts in his own abilities, although he is a good worker. I hope he gets a break and some money before he has to move on. Good chapter.
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Thank you, Lisa! Sometimes I think of something he should think to make you laugh, lol. Did this make sense? Hahaha.
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Come on, this is it. Right? Not another disappointment, please.
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Ha! Sometimes I just want to shake him! And I can only wonder about how blind people can be, whose job it should be to spot someone in need. Ugh.
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He is such a nice person, all the ugly didn't destroy that. There must be something somewhere pretty soon.
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That was awkward! There was help, but somehow it was the wrong kind of help. Is that even possible? Could he have talked to Ozzie?
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When I read this chapter, I thought maybe this is the place where he will stop. Then I thought, no. Knowing Parker, well I don't really know you, only your story, that won't be all. He lulls us in to think Stefan is safe, and then bam!
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Everyone is bad. Why is everyone bad? I would run too. As fast and far as I can. Sometimes I think this story is a metaphor for all the ugly in mankind.
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I caught myself reading as fast as I could, and not because your writing is bad. There's still more...OMG.
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Very nice, Tim. *pats Tim on shoulder* I'm sure there will be more eventually. Think of all the things you could rant about here...
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Again this was difficult to read. Nobody can do everything 100% right. There will always be something. Stefan sounds so defeated, but then, when you think he's so deprived of attention, he would jump at some interest, he does the smart thing, thank God. I just have the feeling this isn't the end of it.
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It's difficult to read this. Not only the brutality, but the hopelessness. I'll come back as one of those black bugs...it almost made me cry. Or his observation that the good looking guys have ugly souls... I will definitely read on, but I'll always need a day in between chapters.
