Aditus

I was tempted to skip a few paragraphs to finally see how JB will react to Scott's news, but I didn't. I really enjoyed reading this, especially some of the dialogues. Thanks for sharing.

That's the crux with having choices... This story will be in my head for quite a while. Aww. I need something happy now. I mean it was good, very good but...something chocolaty, yes I want something chocolaty.

Lol, so realistic... I've been there. Great chapter.

Awww Kent pulled all the stops out... why can't I help to wait for Jon to mess this up?

Just the other day I was weeding out my story alert list on FP and I realized there is one story I really miss : Alyn Drasil's Skiagraphia. I think there existed several versions and somehow I hope he/she is still working on it and someday there will be an update, or just another version, final version, whatever. I'd read it in a heart beat. Another story I really loved was abandoned due to job hunting, starting a new job etc. Two years later she wrote another chapter and I was overjoyed, but when I read it, it was nothing like the others before. I guess to some things we have to say good bye to, when they are still good and don't spoil the memory with lesser quality.

A nice version of breaking the ice.

God Jon makes me nervous too, lol.

Average, I hate this word. If you think you're average you broadcast ordinariness and that's how others see you. Let's see if he can break that circle. Nice start.

Today is one of those days.

Answers to prompts are a blessing and a curse. Of course it met the requirements, as it were your own, but as always I want more. Wendy as a character is intriguing, this approach to the idea of rewinding and altering occurences, so full of potential, the brother, the sister-in-law, the Chief Detective...oh well. But what really got me? The idea that my shoes or belt might start to wander around in search of food. I'm so glad I'm vegetarian, just in case.

I almost wish I could get rid of it:

Thank you for this wonderful story. It gave insight to a new world to me and I loved every minute of it.

Hi, I'm aditus. Theoretically I've been around here for a while, but didn't do much until lately. I'm a scientist, which according to my friends, is the reason for my strange behaviour sometimes, whatever that means. I write, but don't like uploading the same stories on different sites, so I wait till inspiration strikes me (or my muse loves me again, he's a fickle thing) to post my first story here on GA. I like dogs, Italian food, cities close by the water and listening to strange conversations.

I have a heromachine in my head, in case I need one. Custom made and always available.

This is really good! There are so many directions this story can go; I'm glad you decided to expand this idea.

I don't do first drafts and that's my problem. I admire those who do and I always think I'm a bad writer because I can't work this way but everytime I start a first draft the story dies. To stay with your analogy: For me it's like looking into the cupboard or freezer, see something interesting and start to work with it. Eventually everything heads for disaster, aka I wrote myself into a corner, which somehow inspires me to try harder. I add more ingredients and at the end it still tastes good. (Or I throw it away.) I love Hemingway, sometimes.

Okay. Sorry about that. What about my favorite tiramisu recipe, slightly changed, from food network? Ingredients: 7 egg yolks 1/2 cup sugar 1/3 cup sweet marsala, plus 2 tablespoons for the chocolate sauce 8 ounces mascarpone, softened to room temperature 1 cup heavy cream 1 cup brewed espresso coffee 1 ounce dark chocolate 1 teaspoon natural vanilla extract 48 ladyfingers 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder Cream together egg yolks and sugar in a heatproof bowl set over a pot of simmering water. Add 1/3 cup of the marsala and continue to whisk until mixture is thick and doubled in volume. Remove from heat. Stir in the mascarpone until completely blended. In a chilled bowl, whip the heavy cream to soft peaks. Fold the whipped cream into the mascarpone mixture. In a small saucepan, combine espresso, chocolate, vanilla, and remaining 2 tablespoons marsala. Heat gently, and stir to dissolve the chocolate. Then, chill the mixture to cool it down, about 15 minutes. Quickly dip each ladyfinger in the chilled coffee mixture and arrange in a single layer on a 9 by 13-inch glass baking pan. Spread 1/2 the mascarpone cream evenly on top of the dipped ladyfingers. Repeat with a second layer of dipped ladyfingers and remaining mascarpone cream. Sprinkle top with cocoa powder. Refrigerate for 2 hours or overnight before serving.

I don't know many people here yet and yes I'm going to change that hopefully soon. I want to thank Lisa for being a terrific friend and bringing me here to GA. Without your encouragement and your flavored coffee RRS would never have passed 4th chapter state, nor would any of my other stories have ever left my head. Thank you so much my ff.

with a side of mayonaised shoe sole.

Yum, now I'm hungry. A GA cookbook, great idea, maybe with a little corner for the vegetarians? I'd translate my vegetarian lasagna recipe, if anyone is interested.

That was a nice twist! Totally unexpected, at least for me. I love it!

Yes! That's exactly how it should be: That's not a cliffhanger, that's the art of writing a good story.

What deters me as a reader? It certainly isn't grammar, though there are some things I can't read without flinching. English isn't my first language, not even my second; maybe that's the reason I'm more tolerant or maybe it's me being oblivious. When I discovered the Chicago Manual of Style I declared it my new bible, but I'm not fanatic. I do try to follow as best I can. Back to the topic: I really, really (sorry LJH) hate cliffhangers. On a very few occasions they might be necessary, but most of the time they are a nuisance. Why do authors use them? To enhance the suspense. There are far better methods to do this. So that the reader comes back. A good story doesn't need this, it's that simple. The chapter would become too long. That's the only reason I can accept, grudgingly. To be funny. I stopped reading some good stories because I couldn't take it anymore, too much fun. I probably stepped on some important toes and made many mistakes regarding grammar, but you asked.

A friend recommended Z.A. Maxfield a while ago and I loved her Notturno series (apropos clichéd, hm). When browsing her other work I came across 'Crossing Borders' (hmm that sounded silly, huh) and thought why not. I agree with you that the story is a bit clichéd, but the characters are well written. And yes I had to laugh out loud several times, although on the other hand Tristan's narrative style annoyed me so much sometimes I had to read something else in between.

I'd like to thank you as well, great story! You, or the story made my week. I admit I was surprised when I got to 'The End.' The last two chapters felt a bit rushed, maybe because I wanted to read more... Especially the developing of Dalen and Gavin's relationship went very fast, but sometimes this is how it goes: You simply get swept away. Well, there is definitely great potential for a sequel. ~A.