travlbug

The Flea By John Donne Mark but this flea, and mark in this, How little that which thou deniest me is; It sucked me first, and now sucks thee, And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.... Old idea, new conception, but it's just as icky now as it was in the 16th century!

I love this chapter (I say that a lot!) for the additional insights it provides into Tyson’s psyche. Tyson doesn’t want to die quietly: He wants to die spectacularly and messily, and he wants to be found by Edith, presumably as an act of posthumous revenge. (Daddy dearest must be a bit nicer than mommy dearest.) Uh oh, when Alice tries to be sympathetic-- helpful--Tyson has another “Edith moment,” thinking “how how dare she…. She had no idea what he was feeling. She couldn't! He ignored her once more. She's only a nurse after all.” Ironically, while his parents created his death wish--while he hates what they are--he has become what they are to a certain extent. In commenting on Vlady’s care, Tyson reveals a core truth about the medical field: One’s care is as good as one’s doctor. That he’s willing to share his psychiatrist with Vlady is a step in the right direction (i.e., a step further away from his parent’s direction). The saddest moment in the chapter is also a telling one when considering Tyson’s preference for death: His sense of profound isolation is evident when thinks, “Everywhere was a lonely place! Home. Especially home”: He is starving for affection, for emotional involvement, and what his parents refuse to give, Vlady gives willingly. (The reverse is also true: Tyson's touch is like a superpower, calming Vlady even when “in the throes of a schizophrenic episode.” He has never before been given the opportunity to see the effect of a simple hug, and it is “something the younger boy would remember for a very long time.”) The degree to which Tyson’s parents control his life (give him no freedom at all) is nowhere better exemplified than in his food choices: “At home, he'd be forced to make do with some high-fibre super cereal that was supposed to make him into some superhuman specimen. It tasted like mould.” However, he can now indulge in the “edible joy" of cheese on toast, and he has the glorious freedom to reject vegetables with his dinner. In the confines of a mental ward, he has more freedom than he does at home. (In fact, the severe repression he experiences in his home environment may act like a lid on a boiling pot and explain his rages. Taken a step further, the only freedom he has at home is the freedom to try and end his suffering--a loveless, joyless, regimented, regulated boyhood, where his parents actually bully him to achieve, burdening him with the “responsibility” to be “great” for their own self-aggrandizement. Small wonder he wants to make his exit as messy as possible!) Now for the crux of the chapter: Vlady tells Tyson in no uncertain terms that they cannot be friends if Tyson wants to suicide. After thinking the matter through (with the help of a kiss), Tyson muses, “Oh my gosh. He kissed me! He likes me! So... maybe there might be something to live for after all?” For the first time in his life, he has a reason to live--not simply to exist in pain--but will it be enough to offset 15 years of conditioning? Tyson can suddenly see a future for himself--a future with Vlady--which represents a sea change in his world view. That said, he understands the difficulty in achieving that future (no pie in the sky for Tyson), but now, his outlook is tinged with hope. As he says to himself, “[Vlady] hears voices and he sees things. I'm desperate to die. Maybe we can both get through this, though. Maybe there's a way for us to get better and be happy. Together.” Tyson has come from a background so poisonous that he perceives only one way out, but Vlady has made him see that he truly has a choice. 😊

A little truth and bonding over a glorious Welsh rarebit, though Amara is still holding back (which is going to cost him). "We interrupt our regular programming to bring you this important bulletin on asexuality...." Now, we'll see how much Aria's courage will cost him! As for Julianna's late "pregnancy," it may be real (how old is she?), but for some reason, she reminds me of Bloody Mary (and her demise. Just wishful thinking...).

Andy is a man who doesn't really like what he's doing but doesn't see much choice. He barely recognizes himself in the mirror, both literally and figuratively. Winding up in a gay bar (in New Orleans, no less) may open up windows for him that he never knew existed. (It certainly opens up Will's door for him!) However, the impact of those pix on Twitter remains to be seen.

Prince Terryn is an old softie, but I'm glad he let Olivia go (though he is now complicit in a royal theft against a particularly vindictive monarch). Of course, King Norius would never in a million years catch on to Terryn's involvement...right? Rulf and Esthor have progressed in their relationship to the point where I think that Esthor should seriously consider coming clean to Rulf. As far as Rulf is concerned, Esthor is clearly hiding something, and he doesn't feel trusted: Esthor's silence is becoming a wedge between them--perhaps more so than the truth would be (and the truth is that Esthor saved Arabella from horrible suffering). I think that Rulf would understand, at least eventually. Ah, there is a way to restore Esthor's eyes! (If he has a choice of colors, I vote for green!) I can't wait till the next chapter to find out the catch!

Despite his own issues, Jeremy finds the strength to defy a restraining order and rescue Travis. Despite having a boyfriend, Rob sleeps with Jeremy to give him comfort. Despite his limited means, Bryce cares for Travis and legally adopts him. I love this story because of all the good people who inhabit it. More, please! ❤️

A very merry unbirthday! ❤️

Tyson may not have a dissociative identity disorder, but in some ways he acts like it: He can be sweet (as he has acted to Vlady), but he can also be an arrogant brat. He makes a bad patient. Poor Dr. Okereke is trying to address his sprained ankle, and Tyson actually challenges him: “What would you know, anyway? I'm the one with the busted ankle, not you!" When Dr. Okereke questions why he refuses pain medication--calls him “silly" for declining it--Tyson baits him before responding, “I like hurting myself, not that it's any of your business! You can't tell me how to live my life! That's not your job!" (All the doctor does is to suggest pain medication, and he is suddenly telling Tyson how to run his life--at least, according to Tyson! [Escalating exaggeration is central to any farce, and Tyson’s statement is farcical--something Edith might say?]) Sadly, he is not disrespectful merely to drive the doctor away: His thought processes show how “Edith-like” he has become, internalizing his parents’ worst traits. “This man was a general practitioner. Nothing more. ...He was overstepping his bounds and Tyson wasn't having it. Edith wouldn't stand for this, so neither would he!” Dr Okereke is generous when he warns Tyson, “Making things harder for everyone involved isn't going to get you home any faster,” but Tyson literally tells him to “fuck off.” Moments later, Charlie’s offer of cookies is so affecting “that much of Tyson fury dissipated in seconds,” and he “smiled with genuine happiness” while giving the cookies back to Charlie. So, which is the real Tyson? The “brat” may represent his parents’ teachings, but in a mental ward (of all places), he’s beginning to think for himself: “Only a few days ago, he would have been disgusted with the idea of being friends with someone like Charlie. The boy was a mess. Unkempt and mentally scarred. Weird on both the inside and out. Edith and Will would never in a million years let Tyson go anywhere near someone like Charlie if he were on the outside. In here, though, he was consistently surprised by how layered, complicated and nuanced mental illness truly was.” While Charlie helps him to redefine friendship, Vlady helps him to be more objective regarding Dr. Okereke: Tyson acknowledges that “maybe he wasn't so bad. Maybe I'm just too much like my mum….” Tyson’s casual, unthinking use of the phrase “total schizo" also provides a teaching moment, as Vlady makes him aware of how words can hurt: That Tyson sees a parallel with the epithets used against gays is to his credit and shows his mental growth while away from his parents. (In fact, his best teachers--Charlie and Vlady--are likely the people his parents would most despise. ) I love the dichotomy: Tyson’s parents are loveless homophobes who view the mentally ill as trash; and no matter how hard he works, he can never please them. In contrast, Vlady points out, “I know I got a good family because even though I'm gay and my brain is broken, they still love me. I don't know what I'd do without them." (Tyson has never been accepted by his parents for being who he really is, and the motivation for his suicidal tendencies becomes clearer.) Milo, anyone? After Vlady’s psychotic breakthrough, he says to Tyson, “I feel better now." When Tyson asks him why, he utters a simple truth: "Because you're here.” Suddenly, Tyson is valued for himself, and his world may be forever changed.

This chapter could be entitled “The World According to the Belmont-Lovetts,” or perhaps “Clash of the Titans,” as mother and son square off on multiple levels. Tyson is actually upset by his parents’ daily visits--what he calls his “daily self-esteem shake-down.” (Poor Petra: She is Pavlov’s bell, as Tyson has learned to “hate" her for announcing the arrival of a parent. However, he is grateful for her willingness to chaperone, which is itself a sad commentary on the state of his relations with his parents.) Tyson acknowledges to Petra that his parents cause him constant anxiety. (That he is forced to call his parents by their first names downplays the parent-child bond.) In fact, he purposely inflicts pain on himself as he walks to meet his mother. While reveling in the pain, he discloses that he cuts himself in addition to his attempts at suicide. At least he has enough insight to ask himself “why do I feel this way?” However, while he realizes that his parents are antithetical to his self esteem, that they “afforded him no privacy or time to himself,” he fails to see his suicide attempts as a way of escaping their abuse. (Sadly, he accepts that he is at fault for not living up to their expectations: Despite speaking four languages and achieving sundry other accomplishments, he sees himself as a “loser” by looking through their eyes. He rebels against their tyrannical rule but has internalized their view of himself!) Edith is not a heart-warming figure: She “was aloof in her manner when she spoke to him at the best of times, but there was not a shred of warmth in her right now. Just disappointment. She didn't get out of her chair to greet him. She stayed right where we was; arms folded, legs crossed.” Her “honeyed” words are stated with “acidity.” Her view of reality is skewed 180 degrees from Tyson’s: “He hadn't been happy in so long. He was lonely and sad and completely burned out. Edith didn't agree. She thought he was lazy.” What’s more, her view is self-centered: “She was still angry with him for embarrassing her in this way. Making her look like a bad parent.” She is completely dismissive of his making a friend. While Vlady makes Tyson happy, his mother unleashes his temper and makes him lose control. Of course, the biggest difference in their world view (at least at this time) is how they perceive people with mental illness: For Edith, the mentally ill are damaged goods--a liability. However, when Tyson looks at Vladimir, he sees "Vlady"--an “awesome" boy who makes him happy. No doubt, Vlady and Tyson are good for each other, providing each other some normalcy/validation. (When Vlady says, “thanks for not being scared of me,” I couldn’t help but cry.) As Tyson says, “It doesn't matter to me that he hears things. He's my friend. He makes me happier!” And isn’t that what counts.

Carter, you may be doing more with Aron, but of course you’re still bitchy as hell! Yes, Aron has a nice ass, but his dick has you mesmerized (most hypnotists use a watch! 😂). Well, well, who might this David be? Maybe he’s available to give Simon lessons! (Simon, don't beg!) My goodness, Carter, Mark just read your mind, and you’re not even fazed. You’ve been in Wonderland too long. (“...Please stop reading my mind already. It’s a bit annoying.”) Ok, Mark, you were “made,” and you’re asexual. You should take up Carter’s offer for the underwear, as you can shine your halo with it! (You’d be the first angel on your block with a sexy chamois!) Ah, David, now that we’ve met, do you do parties? And, Carter, I agree with you: Go back to your owner, and all will be made clear...in time...maybe….

We'll be the ones with blue faces coated in fried chicken crumbs! We were victorious over the zombies, but the Evil Clowns ran us out of the park! (We'll have to try again next year, and the year after that, and the year after that.... )

I love the twist ending--that the aliens come to rescue us, not to conquer! While the steps they take are extreme--and without the permission of humanity--there is human precedent, with the 51/50 law in the U.S. (as well as similar laws in other countries) allowing for involuntary hospitalization/intervention for a person at risk of suicide (and the almost certain reaction of humanity to reject the aliens' help in the time period required would have been tantamount to suicide). The technology used by the aliens to place humanity in stasis has an error rate of only around 20,000 out of 7 billion--less than 0.000003--which is amazingly accurate for a planetary endeavor. That the aliens are upset by this level of error--did not even expect it--speaks volumes about their technological level. That their motives demonstrate altruism, a fanatical need to preserve intelligent life, and a wish for companionship in a lonely universe speaks volumes about their emotional maturity--certainly light years ahead of us. The safety net they erect around Earth will also remain a monument to humanity that we are not alone. I love that our story occurs only because of an aberration in the aliens' technology, and I love that--at least in our little group of survivors--we see the best that humanity has to offer. Geron, my deepest appreciation for your artistry and your message of hope. Thank you.

Love the triplet idea, but if Kieran and Mr. B. had a relationship in the Over Realm, where does Rhys fit in? The Widderlink between Kieran and Mr. B may be diminishing, but surely another is being forged between Kieran and Rhys. The nature writing is beautifully done, and I love the mystical linkage to the First Australians through the ancient symbols and how that linkage later seems to clear Kieran's headache--a feat that Maynor and Uirebon seem incapable of achieving. I also love that the chapter ends with good friends indulging in some silliness, showing that they are indeed good friends. More, please!

Hubby and I are off to fight the zombies at Knott's Scary Farm (and eat a little boysenberry pie on the side!). It's a dangerous job, but we are willing to sacrifice for the good of the group. Please wish us luck....

So, if I see a couple of guys wearing loose jeans at the movies, I'll know what they're up to! (Skinny jeans could be marketed to mothers as promoting chastity! 😂) Another wonderful slice-of-life chapter. Thank you!

Hey, kids, get your own "Grow-A-Zombie" Crystal Kit (TM). Your kit comes with a genuine zombie seed crystal, 100 pounds of assorted minerals, 5 pebbles, and one stick of dynamite with it's own built-in blasting cap! (Store in a dry place, like a sibling's clothes closet.) The basic model is blue, but green and red minerals are available at Christmas for a nominal fee. All you need to do is put the zombie crystal, minerals, and pebbles into a trench, add water, and stir. (Please do not use your bathtub, as in earlier versions of the kit, as per the settlement from the class action suit.) When your zombie starts throwing the pebbles at you, employ the dynamite to blow it back to a seed crystal, which you can then reuse! Replacement minerals and dynamite are available. Accessories, such as zombie diapers (knitted by mom!), are also available on request. 😁

Geron, this chapter should come with a first aid kit because it's capable of causing a heart attack! My heart is still racing! Not that I'm superstitious, but I would have buried the head separately--like a mile away! I presume that the density of the body prevented an autopsy, even a clumsy one, as this would have been the perfect time otherwise for the kids to find out something more of how the zombies differ from ordinary humans.

Marnie has perspective: Mike may be two years younger now, but Marnie is already sizing him up as a potential mate when he grows older. Talk about taking the long view! I also love the juxtaposition between Tina and Marnie's hug and Tina's subsequent touching of her .357 Magnum: There's time for a tender moment, but don't forget the gun!

Remember that the grandparents slap Artie for no good reason and insult him as a "bastard" and his mother as worse. They also disown their own son for being gay. What would they have been capable of if they found out the identity of the boy who had impregnated their daughter outside of wedlock? Just sayin.... Also, what is it with Artie and chickens? 🤔

And where is Ezra now? I doubt that Artie will let go of the issue so easily. Also, if Ezra said he would stay and then vanished, is foul play involved?

Why the Queen's crown? No one could wear it. Does Lucius want the ruby? Is the crown bespelled? Interesting that Olivia has a chance to steal more of the Queen's jewelry but doesn't do it. She has a chance to kill the King but wisely resists. She refrains from locking Prince Terryn into the dungeon. She is a moral thief. Esthor and Rulf are clearly good for each other, but Rulf has valid cocerns: When Esthor regains his sight and doesn't "need" him anymore, will Esthor wish to go his own way? Rulf also expresses his hurt--again--that Esthor doesn't completely trust him. Rulf appears to be a straightforward fellow, and it wouldn't surprise me if he decides to force the issue. (Maybe between kisses! )

Carter, first you “munch” on a pencil, then you “only want to eat plastic from now on.” We really must do something about your diet! Further, your brain is talking to itself. I’m beginning to worry…. And you’d prefer to be photographed in your underwear than to go on a tour. (We really must work on your value system. ) Simon, you’re very sweet to buy your master a present; and Carter, of course you’d be cruel not to whip Simon, right? (I’m so confused. ) Yes, Aron, “Alex" wants to see a football game instead of ballet. Do you really want to question why? And Mark, thanks for taking care of Carter's imaginary golden retriever. (It could happen only in Wonderland!) Wuf!

The end of the world may come and go, but a trip to the library is always a priority!

Hmmm. So what is the "Event" General Forsyth references? I have a very bad feeling.... Alex is given his mission--to find the 80 additional kids making up Project Growth; but the mission can't start until the mountain opens after six months. This gives Alex time to organize the kids, fix the problems ailing the bunker (such as the nonfunctional showers), and defeat a saboteur. And we still don't know the motivation, let alone the identity, of the criminal behind the sabotage.

Sorry, I ate BOTH your shares, with a lovely vegetable udon on the side. (I can live with the dishonor, but my cow took a while to calm down.)