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Everything posted by mayday
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The Times They Are a-Changin'
mayday commented on Headstall's story chapter in The Times They Are a-Changin'
another try: my last comment did not upload, I think. cliffhanger again. You are getting too good at them, really... recent abuse and formerly - no use speculating. The only other person mentioned so far is his boss, who seems a possible candidate. Without any other lead he will be the one, on the other hand, Hugh only knows him from his "business" encounters. There might be other people around of whom he knows nothing yet. What I do not care for at the moment is the idea of waiting for another week. Envy of your editor - who would have thought? -
The Times They Are a-Changin'
mayday commented on Headstall's story chapter in The Times They Are a-Changin'
Another cliffhanger! You are getting too good at them... something tiny spelling peril and longtime former abuse. I guess it is not his present employer. I really liked how C related to the sheep with her bone broken. How often might he have felt close to dying or being "put down"? Heavy stuff in an otherwise bright and hopeful chapter. Can't wait for your next chapter. -
cliffhanger it is... can't wait for more your story to continue
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You have fooled me completely - I would have misunderstood that message exactly in the same way... and that dig at certain people ... I really enjoyed your story! Thanks for sharing
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A lot of people and experiences have washed the Predator away, you have unleashed a storm and we have got Scott now. Much more likeable than the other one. I do not know why but I think the dirty clothes are somehow important, too. Can't imagine his former self to be content with "second hand" items. I wonder about Scott comparing his own reactions to his of the previous five years and acknowledging the change within himself. How fitting that he should offer his real identity exactly at that moment... Lot's of chances for the future now. We'll see - thank you for letting us off without one of your cliffhangers this time. Obviously, great chapters do not (always) need one...
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your writing is definitely not too long! I do want to see how all this is playing out...
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I'd like to triple like your story - at least. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!
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"He found himself grinning, enjoying himself. Despite the hour, he didn't feel sleepy, as he often did. He couldn't help poking a little fun at Graham's serious linguistic analysis once or twice – after all, it was just a comic, right? But they both smiled." There - one of the most hopeful bits so far - have we ever seen him so relaxed, so at ease? "after all, it was just a comic, right? But they both smiled." - just a comic? But... Has he ever been as easy and innocent - can't think of a better word - as with Graham so far? This seems to be the first conversation not marred by misgivings or remembering his own past. The first free one... Interesting that he needs help to decipher the drawings that he cannot read the drawings as a story - but then I have never "read" mangas, so maybe I am naive... to me he seems to be entering a world with a completely different culture, one which needs explaining. So I am not sure where he is at the moment, but he could be in a very good place - learning about friendship now. Promising chapter thank you for sharing it
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I know it is trite to say so, but your poems are beautiful - I like the sonnet best this time - beautiful, flowing easily...
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Chapter 44 A Time of Rebirth
mayday commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 44 A Time of Rebirth
Great chapter! Just what I needed after a tiring and frustrating day. So intense and so much looking up! Potent medicine! But, please, why does evil always seem to come from the east? Have you read too much Tolkien? -
What an intense chapter! I so feel with our two men, but it was good to read that Troy is missing Peter. Thank God for friends and friendship!
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Defiance was faster to post her thoughts... I, too, think the postcard is a huge step forward for TP / Wally but my first impression was "Nicely done, Parker. Anything more than a postcard worded minimally would not have been consistent with TP's character. I have the feeling that some crossroads have been passed
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What a cliffhanger. So many options now - so much depends on Troy and if he tries to get his way as he sees it at the moment. I agree with the others that Linda had best be informed now. I wonder how Alan will react. Can he stay calm and do the obvious - call Helen? The way I see the situation is that Linda is the one who can slash through everything - maybe even find the strength to do so. There is one aspect, though, where I cannot agree with the opinions above: waiting patiently is simply impossible. Thank you for this story and the suspense you have created...
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Interesting story, could not stop reading before the end, lot's of surprising twists, but not unbelievable at all - probably due to the perspective you have chosen. Thanks for sharing
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Good title. Tantalising. I like that he faces himself while swimming - one of his former favourite activities - his longings, his self deception, and how honest he is with himself. He will have to face a lot, I guess, in this house, men off limits to him, his own feelings, his memories of himself, which he seems to have suppressed successfully over the years, his fears of becoming like his parents, leading a life without love. Is this house a place of transition for him? I guess he will return to the ship a changed man. And then he might have a chance at something he envies others for now. Might... To me his fantasy of Javier indicates that now he is not only taking but also giving - and that he can enjoy being on the receiving end - seems like a step towards healing of very old wounds. Up to that shower receiving always meant being weak, being humiliated, hurt terribly. Thank you for another moving chapter.
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Lots of developments to follow here, lots of ideas and conflicts! Great start to a new year. Thanks for sharing your story.
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This chapter seems more like an introduction to a new part of his story than simply a change of place and mood. His stay at this home filled with love promises to be full of hard moments, moments when we will see who prevails, 'TP' or that other person who once was as happy and free of care as Michael seems to be. I guess it will be this other half, the one buried long ago. But I wonder how hard it will be for him. You have managed to make TP fade in spite of knowing full well that Wally and he are somehow one and the same. I see more pain and hurt than the ability to hurt and inflict pain himself. And I am somehow sure that TP would not have run the danger of getting sunburnt... there seemed to be an innocence about him, or a trace of it that I would never have thought possible during the first part (before he sought shelter with Marc). And there is something new for him: Whereas as the party moll he was drugged and we can only guess at what he might have been feeling then, we have seen him now twice experiencing the effects of abuse, on the boat when he was attacked (and when he watched Javier confront the professor) and now during the shower. Fully consciously. I keep wondering what it will take for him to be "redeemed" as you have put it in one of your responses. I'll try to be patient.
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I like the way things are taking on a new meaning for our man, being everybody's bitch, feeling dirty, lust, to just name a few. Also the boat - a different cosmos almost with different rules and words and names, and obviously a very different world from his own - without which he might not be able to change or go on changing. I wonder when we will learn his real name and what potential he has - and, especially, what and who else it takes to reveal that.
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Oh... before I read the reviews above and your response, I was rather dismissive. I thought the father's reaction to be too good to believe. A wishful thinking "change of heart" (I mean I know his love never really changed) in the father. Yet you present it so vividly it did move me in spite of my scepticism. I am happy for you and your ability to understand and to forgive, which I cannot but admire. Even though we only get to see Mitch's horrible conversion experience through memories and his telling about it it sounds awful enough to justify any feeling of resentment and anger. Thank you for sharing
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Beautiful, simply beautiful! If you can, please write a sequel...
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Great story-telling! So they do get together - at least it looks promising once Dave can get over his grief. Thank you for another very moving and great chapter and more light at the end of the tunnel this time.
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What a turn-around. I wonder how you manage to make something absolutely unbelievable so real. It blows me away. The first surprise (after the title) were these three words: and it hurt. So he has changed. Then all those tiny details about a life he had completely forgotten and he now remembers... Then the interesting twist about the car, a car he bought to spite his parents. Which he now sells, as if his grudge (?) against them has lost its meaning or poignancy. As if he has really arrived in a reality which he shut out as long as his "business" lasted. And all that at Christmas. A new birth indeed...
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Morning Light indeed, and yet not really light, lots of dark mixed into it, even if he sees what he has done. He seems to have believed that he was the only one whose parents were less than supportive or Lee's story would not have touched him somewhere. And he seems not to have realised that there is a world outside the one he created for himself, in which people only mattered in relation to him and his gratification or money. At the moment he seems to be less driven by fear than drifting like a rudderless boat somewhere on a sea, picked up by mercy tinged with caution. Marc seems to have managed to get out of the predator's clutches at terrible cost to himself. I wonder what dark times are still ahead for the predator to free himself from the consequences of his actions. So, not really light, but much lighter than the chapters so far and much much less menacing than the first one. I admire the way you set atmospheres! Thank you for this chapter.
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Nor did I, I certainly expected another scene fraught with feeling and misunderstandings, but not Dave getting there too late. I wonder in what frame of mind he will return home and what will have changed during his absence. I also remember that Dave left somebody behind to whom he meant a lot. So glad that this is not the end of your moving story.
