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mayday

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Everything posted by mayday

  1. mayday

    Expectations

    easy to read, hard to stomach
  2. mayday

    Tough Love

    Now I really want to know how this will go on. I cannot really imagine Andy and Eric getting on after their first disastrous encounter. Eric's disappointment must have been terrible, especially in a man set in his ways who had gone out of his shell this once.
  3. mayday

    The Story

    Thank you for a gripping and moving story, which could have been only too true...
  4. mayday

    Chapter 16

    Not sure about that... He steps in before he thinks about it. True, he seems very practical about it, but danger nears and he steps in. In between...
  5. mayday

    Chapter 16

    "So I did." Brilliant cliff-hanger. Who knows what stopping a shuttle with one stabilizer missing from crushing a crew member involves. Possible, impossible? How much strength do you need if the former. And what does that tell us about Cohen? And if the latter - but he says "I did". so not impossible. We know now that he does not want anybody crushed if he can help it. Will that reassure him about himself? (Him? Her? does it even matter?)
  6. mayday

    Dead Old Man

    What a difference one word makes! Your last line blew me away. How you emerge from bitterness and the past ... may your present and future be all the brighter.
  7. I love "beacon". It speaks to me. Has moved me to tears. Especially the last line, but even more the last two words.Thank you for sharing.
  8. mayday

    Chapter 9

    The only problems I have with your chapters, Cia, is that they are so short... you make it difficult to wait patiently for your next one.
  9. mayday

    Chapter 1

    You seem to know what you are writing about. In the village where I grew up who was being abused was common knowledge. I remember one mother taking her daughter with her into the marital bed and putting her in the middle in the hope this would deter her husband from abusing her. It did not. But with the taboo you mention preventing it, men or older boys never reveal what they suffer...
  10. mayday

    Chapter 1

    It's so well written it hurts...
  11. mayday

    November

    Skilful - I had already written the word skilful and meant it - when I looked again at the very last line. And I noticed that it jarred - don't know why. Is it 'must' (at least over here snow is not the norm in winter any longer) or the simply that the verb is pushed to the end of the line? I do not know. But I know this: There is this memory of bright autumn leaves, the sight of the squirrel and other little creatures, then the background of browns, different hues in fading light, the light sounds of small animals moving and one of us, too, watching before winter is coming. And man - you - there combining random impressions to a picture that makes sense - your environment, your views of nature (so typically human), your trying to spot what you expect - and finally - something remote from your personal experience, something different and I sense some loss there - as if you yourself were gone from that part. I have looked again at the last lines: It is the creatures that must roam and prepare, not us. Winter is coming anyway, for them. we are warm and safe. I keep adding my own thoughts. You are simply too evocative in your poems. I love how the rhyme weaves its way through the stanzas.
  12. mayday

    Perigee

    what it means to me? I see a dance of stars and moons before me - revolving around each other, getting closer - moving away from each other like lovers, like people we meet in life I see attraction and feelings at work which get in the way (I am not sure I am saying this right) which draw us apart and hurt us And I do know that knowing about one another does not always help, sometimes it is more of a curse than a blessing.
  13. mayday

    Perigee

    only by not coming together can we see each other's light and recognize our existence - I am not sure if your wonderful lines are about love or life or both - but thank you
  14. mayday

    Chapter 5

    thank you for writing about healing which sounds so real, so convincing - the only problem I have with this chapter that reading it is over soooo soon.
  15. mayday

    Tear Tracks

    there was a time when such events were a "prerogative" of America, alas, no more, but even though they occur also this side of the ocean, they are the exception here, whereas they seem to be the rule in the US - I have given up divining the reasons and factors at work, it seems rather fruitless. After Sandy Hook and its hollow aftermath, it seems there is nothing that can be done to prevent the like "events". Once you accept children being sacrificed to a myth, anything goes...
  16. mayday

    Tear Tracks

    nor error, Parker. Only laments at how terribly right you are
  17. mayday

    Goodbye Daddy

    "You built your own hell, brick by stinking brick" I do not know why this line stands out to me. While you are here in a world of friends, feelings, thoughts, hopes, life and love - he has shut himself out of that, has raised walls around him to shut himself in, in a world of loneliness, bitter, without happiness. Be happy to be outside. It seems he won't share the smallest possible space, not even mutual understanding. So - from this very, very far away - I am sure he won't regret what you could have been to him, only perhaps what he wanted you to be. You have given that man a last chance at being your father. Peace be with you. I feel deeply honoured to read your goodbye. And moved.
  18. I agree with the others, good start. Great description of a desolate home (and relationship?) Bill left and found again on his return. So much in ruin apparently. But to assume the worst about Jeff? Maybe he just considered cheating on Bill and has not yet done it?
  19. mayday

    Chapter 3

    I like the open threads here, lots of questions and various ways this could get great or all wrong...
  20. mayday

    Picnic

    being back with friends is always good, especially as I had lost hope of ever encountering them again (apart from that verrry short spell in PP)
  21. I am so glad, our two lovers are back! And thank you for not ending the story yet.... I am sure you have much more to tell... funny and sweet this chapter
  22. mayday

    Lost and Found

    Intriguing beginning. So much to develop here.
  23. mayday

    Flirtation

    powerful - linger -- love the single word in the centre which seems to hold the two extremes at both ends together. Thanks for this
  24. mayday

    Musings

    You did! Thank you for that.
  25. mayday

    Mated

    I did indeed, on reading it a third time...
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