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I wondered where JP was as well (did he vote?). And I wondered where the alpha mates were -- sequestered somewhere safe? Were they getting reports of what was happening?

Ok. Read this twice. Went back and read the mentions of The Secret again. Here's what I think. From the beginning we've been in Ryan's head. We've known his feelings and why he's done things and reacted a certain way. And then Clayton was added. We *somewhat* know what he's thinking and why he does the things he does. I think choosing to kept the money secret from the reader, as well as Ryan, is a mistake. The direction you've gone in with the two narrators needs an all-or-nothing approach. In this story, either we're privy to their thought process completely, or we're not at all. I think it works for Clayton to be worried about how Ryan will take the news. It would work even better if the reader knows why Clayton is worried. If the reader knows Clayton is mega-rich, everything both characters say takes on extra weigh in the same way any talk of the wheelchair or walking or sleep/nightmares takes on extra weight because of what we know about Ryan. I think keeping Clayton's money a secret from readers is successful only if Clayton himself is a mystery to Ryan and the readers. If readers are in his head, we should know why he's hesitant to tell Ryan the truth. You can still build suspense, just in a different way. Speaking of narrators, I also think it'd be more effective to ONLY be in the minds of Ryan and Clayton. Early on, we saw Ben's experience from his point of view. I think everyone else should be depicted in third person -- from the outside, not the inside.

Really good chapter. You got through a lot, and in a natural way. I'm curious about where you go from here. Like, a person with Kye's background -- what can he do to pass the days? Even if he and Ash start a relationship, this his first time experiencing real freedom. Will he learn a trade, insist on earning his keep? Of course, you could just stop soon after this and leave it to our imaginations ...

Looks like I'm going to be the dissenting voice here. The history lesson read as just that -- a history lecture. I felt like it didn't belong in this story, and messed up the flow. I think a mention that this is what they talked about one night would've sufficed. The sex scene at the end saved the chapter for me, but a well-written sex scene always does. :0) You've been hinting about a big reveal, and I thought this is the chapter where it would've happened. If you do edits, I suggest taking out some of the not-so-subtle hinting at Clayton's past. As it stands, you've teased it so much that I fear whatever the reveal is, it'll be anticlimactic.

I agree with Exxo. I thought it was a nice reveal. Although when those two brought in the breakfast trays, I was like, "aren't there any other servants in this place?" LOL

Intriguing! I'm wondering, tho -- when Deke was in the bathroom, shouldn't he have smelled Kraig coming? Or is the lack of a scent part of Kraig's "illness"?

I say eff the word count and just write as much as you want. I keep hoping you guys give up the 1,000-word thing! LOL Seriously, tho, I don't really know what's going on. The description is ... jumbled. Can you take another stab at it? Human werekin? Bonded werekin? The alpha's "public voice"? And what streak? Also, in this prologue, I can't tell if they are in human form or some other form, because of words like ruff and muzzle. I can understand if Deke thinks in these terms, even in human form, but more physical descriptions would help. As it stands, I finish the prologue not sure if I want to go on. I will, of course, because I've been a fan for years, but this chapter doesn't seem up to your usual standards. Maybe you were rushed?

I'm really enjoying the directions you're taking this story, Zenith. I thought you were gonna HEA an ending after Sam got his job selling boats. Reading about the characters navigating the drama of everyday life has been fun! An aspect of this chapter feels off to me, tho, and I wanted to mention it. It's the family trip to Asia. The trip appeared to be arranged hella fast. I can understand if the Williams had already been planning to go, but what about Joseph needing a passport? Did someone from the Borg expedite the paperwork? LOL And good lord, the $$$ tickets to Asia so close to the trip. My wallet winces in sympathy.

Great chapter! Glad Kye didn't get shot. I have a stupid question: If they all rode their own horses, and one of them was given up to carry Richard's body, why were they walking back? Ash and Kye could've ridden back on the same horse, and one of the men could've ridden with another if he gave up his horse to carry the body.

I have thoroughly enjoyed this story, and I'm so glad you're finishing it! I'll be sorry to see it end, tho. I hope Kel goes to France. (I was baffled by him not calling Gael once he felt better.) Great characters.

First, THANK YOU for coming back to finish this story! It's an original take on a genre, and I've enjoyed it so much. Second, I'm sorry to hear "Unwilling" ending. I really wanted to see Darla find some peace, and Rayne court Harry, and Jared and Darwin grow closer after Jared's training. I was hoping to see how Jared's pack turned out -- where they landed, etc. But it's obvious you're busy and may only have time to wrap this up before moving on. Great characters, great premise. You should definitely write more stories.

Action-packed chapter, and I agree with centex about loving the inclusiveness of the pack. I bet it's the best pack in America! :0) However, I feel like you rushed the end. I wanted to know what Marie and the kids looked like. I wondered what the house looked like. What did Marie say when she realized there were three other wolves, not two -- did she freak out? How did Marie and the kids respond to seeing their first lion (Darius)? So many questions ...

THANK YOU, Timothy! I've been thinking the same thing. Kye damn near had his arm snatched out of its socket and no one notices his winces and gingerly walking and near swooning, not even the doctor. There's taking your patient his word and there's being a good physician and poking and prodding to make sure nothing hurts. Sheesh. Folks are gonna feel damn foolish once the truth is out. So. Sam. While I'm glad he apologized, I'm surprised he apologized. He's had years of seeing Kye *appear* to be a haughty concubine, and only one instance where Kye could be more: when he saved Row's life. Wouldn't Sam's first conclusion be that Kye was trying to save his own hide? I expected him to need more evidence before concluding he was wrong about Kye. As for smart Kye, I love the way you steadily have him speak up more -- apparently, the trigger is someone else being in danger. :0) And I was so happy when he bit Charlie! I was basically screaming at the screen for him to do just that. LOL

Rex, I'm enjoying this story so much! This was an action-filled chapter, and detailed, but some of the details threw me off. To explain: -- I had a hard time imagining where the bar was in relation to the stage, to the table where Ryan, etc. were, and to the main entrance. I understood why you mentioned the half wall, and you used that wall well, but I felt like I needed to get a piece of paper and sketch the layout. Don't know if that's a good or bad thing, LOL. -- If everyone was told to get up on the stage, why didn't Ryan, Clayton, (Jenay?) and Joe go? I understand there not being a ramp to the stage, but they didn't even go that way. I'm assuming they turned around, since they were facing the stage. Benoit was probably too wound up to notice, but their lack of moving could've gotten someone killed. I think it's worth a mention of them maybe all making eye contact and deciding to stay. -- The switch to third person was jarring. Maybe use third person in an earlier chapter as well, so it's not so abrupt? -- I thought Telsa was a misspelling of Tesla, and you referred to it as a car instead of a wheelchair. So I had this image of a car being driven through a wall. *snort* -- Curious to know if Ryan's attack hurt his right stub, and if it'll mess up his chances for the new legs. Also curious about where that shot went. Did someone go grab the bag of phones and pass them out? And does Joe have spare keys to the place? He was locking up ... -- My favorite detail was Benoit's tattoo sleeve. It hints at how fucked up he was, not to cover up something that could easily ID him. BTW, did agents cut the tape from his ankles, or carry him out? (Also, I'd say Dave LOOKED like he wanted to scream, since this is third person.) Maybe I'm more detailed-oriented than the average reader? Just trying to help. I really dig these characters and how you weave them in and out of each other's stories.

I'm new to this prompt collection, and I read them all in one sitting (including the next chapter, 6). I'm intrigued, but I need a clarification, please. Roman is a piano player at this bar as well as Martin? Is he filling in for Martin?

Thanks for the chapter! I understood everything except the new title of the series. ExC IvP? OMIGAWD I GOT IT AS I TYPED IT. Efain times Cory/Indie vs. Preston. Sorry, but I think you still need to work on that title. Are you taking suggestions? Also, am I to assume I don't get more of Indie/Preston/Indie's ex until the next book in the series? Love all these boys, BTW. Wish they'd been at my college when I was a student. :0)

Ok, I have to ask, Wolf: What's the deal with Cody, Casey and Darius? Will they commit to each other? I ask because the trio seems to be more than fuck buddies. I can't remember how you handle the mate mythology -- do all shifters search for their true mate (like, travel to other packs and such), or do they allow themselves to fall in love with others that are not true mates? I don't suppose it's possible for the true mate thing to kick in late, is it? Like, the boys wake up one morning and POW! they realize they were destined for each other. LOL

Sooooooo when Navid gets married and has kids -- which he must do to keep from getting cut off, right? -- what happens to Noah? Does he get kept in a house that Navid visits when he can get away?

GLORIOUS chapter! Now it's on like Donkey Kong!! Or something period-appropriate. LOL

I was shocked Andy made the completely stupid move to open the door. He knows how Andy is. He has Daniel to protect as well. He didn't even call the cops or threaten to call them before approaching the door. To me, his response was not believable, given what he'd just been through. There are other ways Andy could've gotten in. He could've gotten a copy of the key, for example. Or broken the door down. Or pretended to be someone else. Also: Daniel went through a glass table and there were NO cuts? His shoulder hurt, but not his face where he'd been punched? And Andy gave up just because Daniel used a martial arts move on him? That didn't ring true, given the nature of Andy's obsession. In fact, I would expect him to try again, but armed with a weapon. In addition, Rayn described Daniel crying 'like the child he is," but the entire story has stressed that Daniel is NOT a child, so I found that jarring. (And if Rayn thinks he's a child and he's having sex with him ... ew.) I've enjoyed the main characters very much, Nephylim, so I hope you don't think I'm making these comments out of pettiness. I just want to help make the story stronger. I'm a fan of your work.

I was surprised the story ended, because I fully expected other shoe to drop with Carly. It appeared that Craig held all the cards, but someone as venomous and petty as Carly was portrayed to be would find a way to hurt Craig and Jared. Also? The twins' dad dying was not enough to make Carly a bad person. She became that on her own. I'm glad someone else said it first -- I was sad we didn't get to read about Jared's first time bottoming. *blushes*

Jesus, FINALLY. I haven't felt this frustrated while reading a story in a long time. It's obvious you have talent. However, this "when will Rye tell?" business stretched out too long. The story's pace suffers. I would feel the same way if I read all the chapters in one sitting. I think it needs to be condensed a bit.

I love this fantastic story SO. MUCH. I'll 5-star this chapter when I see it hit Literotica. I'm excited to hear you have plenty planned for the characters! I admit I'm most interested in Indie's story. Abusive gay relationships don't get the attention they need.

"You're too young to be that thirsty.” *hollers*

I agree with Moku. I'm interested in this story, but the misunderstandings and misconceptions are getting to be too much. It's what drives every chapter! When will we get past this? It's taking a toll on all the characters, in my opinion. Also, I'm surprised Sam and Alisha not only have jobs at this household, but important ones. They worked for the enemy. It's odd that they are trusted so soon.