Geemeedee

Oops, I left my review for this chapter on the NEXT chapter. That's what I get for reading two chapters back-to-back. Sorry! So, the end of the next chapter is sweet. :0)

I'm impressed Ryan remembered to use Erik's screen name. :0) Great chapter. I am loving this story.

Happy trails? Wait, is it over?

Soooooo I'm the only one who thinks Kellar's parents aren't dead? Burned beyond recognition.

Split personality? Twins? Whatever's going on, I dig it.

Thank you, bubby! I've been thinking the same thing about Leon. Dude is gonna FLIP when he finds out the truth. Tell me, Sasha -- how old are these guys? I'm in America, and the word "college" keeps throwing me. I know it's not the same as in the U.S. I keep thinking they're 19 or 20. Are they 17-18?

One thing: I live in Oakland, CA. People don't leave their doors unlocked, no matter how nice the neighborhood is. :0)

There's distracting and there's something more. Jian needing a job and money and to come to terms with his family are HUGE, serious subjects. They've been a couple for awhile now, and they haven't discussed Jian at all. I'm wondering if Jian has the power to make Emmett forget. Like, distraction times 10. The effect seems to last more than a day.

I'm enjoying the story so far! One thing to be aware of going forward: in the last two chapters, you said men were both alive and dead. (Example: In this chapter Kian went through the pockets of the two dead men but when the police arrived, they were merely unconscious.) Thanks for updating the story so quickly.

A new story, hurray! I've missed your characters. This one's off to a great start.

I actually *squealed* when I saw there was a new chapter. I love that the only girl in this chapter is Lola -- and she could hold her own with any of the boys. Great back and forth among the brothers. I felt Cory was near-absent this chapter, because of all the strong personalities you put in one house (and on Skype). Maybe he'll play a bigger role in the next chapter? You did have him mention he was overwhelmed by the visit and the news. The fact that Elaine chose her asshole husband over her youngest child looks even worse in light of the new information. I'm interested in where you're going with her.

A husband and a stepson? Whoa. Didn't see that coming.

Am I the only one wondering what Jian wants to do for a living?

This story made me cry, dammit! It's great. Sigh. As usual, I'm not agreeing with the other commenters. I swear I don't mean to be contrary! I believe people can change. But I don't think these two should be together romantically. For at least another year or two, Dana will look at Ivan and see Brian, and Ivan will look at Dana and see Kenny. Also, the two of them have self-esteem issues that make them vulnerable. I was happy that Dana visited, so that Ivan knew he was ok, but in my opinion, they should try to find happiness in others who aren't as triggering. (I was like, "aw, SHIT" when I read Dana had moved nearby, LOL.) I've been in therapy long enough to know they're starting on VERY shaky ground.

I'm going to have to be the dissenting voice here. Part 2 was not a satisfying read for me. William wanted to start a war so he could rule the world? Where did that come from? It was hard to reconcile the idea of a William who wanted to drink and screw the day away with a William who wanted world domination. And happened during that war? We never find out. Headstall made a good argument -- that William would always be a lord and Tristan always a servant. But people change in the span of a lifetime; they certainly can change during the span of several lifetimes. The difference is, Tristan wanted to adapt and I guess William didn't? But he (Willliam) would've had to adapt to live as long as he did. ... The ending left a sour taste in my mouth.

Hmmm. I've read this a couple times now. I guess it's about the compromises we make when we decide someone is worth our time and love? Harry is doing most of the work here -- won't that get old? I suppose Harry's life is full enough in all other areas that being a doctor's husband won't be a lonely existence. This makes me want to revisit them in 10 years to see if they're still together.

I had the same thought as drought -- how the hell would Mike have time for a relationship? He didn't have time for a movie. “If I’d let you tonight,” Harry said, as slowly, “I’m afraid you wouldn’t be the last.” Why not? Is he saying Kurt wouldn't be enough?

Damn.

Haven't we all known -- and wanted to fuck -- a Dennis? They tell you exactly who they are when you meet them, and you still hope you'll be the one to change their mind. Dennises are toxic. I liked and hated this chapter for the way it made me feel. Congratulations?

Wha?

I've read the story til now in one sitting. I have lots of questions, but two stand out: 1) Have you purposefully not given physical descriptions of anyone but Boris? And if so, 1a) what was your reasoning behind that? 2) Why is Boris so nervous and insecure? We've never gotten an explanation. My guess would be it has something to do with growing up without a pack, but there's been no explanation for that, either. Ok, third question: how the hell was that alpha's entire pack wiped out, but he was still alive? Why would his wife hate him so much that she wanted to kill everyone? The plot point doesn't make sense. And since I'm here, how big (and where) is this pack? I had this imagine of hundreds people taking over a movie theater on annual movie night.

It feels like you mixed up the characters on that proposal. Callen and Jase didn't even tell Dom, one of their closest friends, that they are engaged. Yet private Callen got down on one knee in front of an entire restaurant? That's something extroverted Alex would do. (At least, that's how you've written the characters until recently.) And Trace is suddenly taking care of everyone's kids -- makes you wonder how folks got by when he was gone. Trace has buried his anger and hurt to take care of everyone else, and to fit back in. I don't say these things to be mean. You said you don't have an editor, and I'm trying to offer constructive criticism with examples of when the characters' actions don't match their past. I think you should keep writing. The characters are intertesting, you're just learning what do with them. :0)

God, is he going to end up with Gordon?

I have a hard time getting past the fact that Tracy was gone for a year and no one apologized for not reaching out. His anger is justified. His tears are justified. No one's reasoning was believable. Then Alex kept dating the pilot after Tracy returned. He never has a conversation with Tracy about what happened, just grabbed him and kissed him. That's not romance. Their talk was long overdue, and I agree with the commenter who said Tracy forgave too easily. These people treated him like SHIT, then blamed him for being gone for a year. It's completely unbelievable based on the way the characters were presented before Sasha's big announcement. (BTW, if you do a rewrite I suggest you remove the "Alex in love with Callen" subplot. You didn't follow through and it makes Tracy seem like a Callen substitute.) Before you start your next story, I suggest writing an outline. Capture the characters' actions and motivations, and see if they make sense. Maybe that will help you avoid character behavior that deviates from where you started.

Tears. Love.