Jump to content

lomax61

Author
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    642

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Everything posted by lomax61

  1. lomax61
    Dear all, I need to to offer you all a huge apology ! I'm travelling to the UK tonight for the week (family, friends, renew passport, blah, blah) and forgot to pack my thumb drive on which I am keeping my KtD chapters. I could kick myself, because I'm on a roll right now and have four new chapters ready to go. So I won't be able to post any more until Tuesday 8 Sep. Please stick around and I promise to deliver. Brian
  2. lomax61
    Masterful. Whatever you do, don't let go of the Uncle Dom angle. That's all I'm saying. There was a lot more to the old boy than is evident from the storyline. I'm not trying to throw you off the trail but this story runs even deeper than what is currently being shown.
  3. lomax61
    Dear all, Am LOVING this thread. I almost want to go back and rewrite the story, just to incorporate some of your ideas (maybe I will at some point). As you've probably gathered already, all is definitely not as it seems and at this point in time, nobody is above suspicion. But be prepared that this is a slow-burner - I'll do my best to keep you all entertained along the way with a few twists. Brian Lomax61
  4. lomax61
    Hi Eleven, Thanks for the head's up on the tennis match. The actual date should be Wednesday so I've been through and changed those references. Otherwise there's not enough time for other "happenings". With this kind of plotline, timelines are everything so I need to keep my eye on the ball. I've trawled through chapters 1 - 4 but can't find the reference to "indiscretely" that you mention (my spellchecker would normally pick up that kind of typo). Or is that about Barnie being indiscreet / indiscrete? I think the latter is the UK spelling.
  5. lomax61

    Prompt 438

    lomax61 commented on Puppilull's story chapter in Prompt 438

    Well! I am speechless. Nothing to say but what a fantastic little story that needs to be expanded. Just loved the main character's confusion about the marks on his arm and the attitude of the workmates. Great working the pocket watch into the story, a link between the caller and the night before. And nice meeting the vampire, albeit a very shy one. Yes, all in all a really warm and beautiful story. Brian
  6. lomax61
    Another chapter(s) is now published. Hope you all managed to get a notification. Already have some interesting interpretations on the motives and suspects. Brian
  7. lomax61
    My bad, Paladin. The chapters were ready to go, so I added them with the intention of making them available only after a few days had gone by. I seem to remember it's bad form to bombard the site with too many chapters at once. Will be adding one more soon.
  8. lomax61
    This is a story forum for readers of my new story Kissing the Dragon (which I hope to build into a larger body of work going forward) to discuss themes and topics of the story. For those of you who may have found their way to this thread accidentally and not yet seen the story: https://www.gayauthors.org/story/lomax61/kissingthedragon Although this story has a very strong romantic theme, the genre is mystery/thriller in the mold of good old whodunits. The protagonist is a history teacher at a reputable boys school, and the setting is largely suburban London. Once again this a story about a person's emotional growth, this time against a backdrop of mystery when a seemingly normal and uneventful existence is turned upside down over one weekend by a tragedy close to home. So a message to all of you who enjoyed Uninvited Guest and those who decide to join the ride: Keep Looking For Clues. Brian
  9. lomax61
    Dear friends, I've been absent for a while due to a gruelling workload which is likely to go on until the end of August (we all have to eat - sigh), but I just wanted to write and let you know that Uninvited Guest has been selected for publication by a mainstream publisher of LGBTQ works under my pen name of Brian Lancaster. Thank you all so much for your support, encouragement, and invaluable comments about the story that I workshopped here. Without you I would never have managed to compete the missing pieces, have them make sense, and fully realise this cast of characters. All the very best with your own endeavours. When I finally do get my feet back to the writing desk, I will be catching up with more of the great storytellers on this site. I have already begun workshopping my major piece - Kissing the Dragon - which needs a serious overhaul. Safe travels. Brian (Lomax61)
  10. lomax61
    Thank you all for your kind wishes. It was indeed an unexpectedly good day, a bit more energetic than I would normally have enjoyed, but good nonetheless. Finished off by a South Indian Curry at a restaurant where the waiters not only clapped along while singing Happy Birthday, but also performed a small Bollywood style dance. To say I was embarrassed would be the understatement of the century. Brian
  11. lomax61
    Mange tak.
  12. lomax61
    Wonderful. A 'How to deal with religious bigots' prompt. I've read scenes that go into chapter and verse of the Bible to try and justify the nature of humankind. So it's nice when you let gentle reasoning and humour make your point. Loved this. Brian
  13. lomax61
    Good Golly. This gets hotter and hotter. Good work here Gary. Shower scenes can get a little hackneyed but you kept this one steaming hot. You also build the heat of the relationship between the two and I love the ‘try’ part at the end. So like Michael to peel away at a seemingly innocent remark - and actually be right in the process. Good work. Brian
  14. lomax61

    Chapter 9 All In

    lomax61 commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 9 All In

    Aha. The sex scene. Tough to write, huh? But beautifully done and not a moment too soon. It's always difficult to know when is the right time in a story to get the guys together, but you've chosen wisely here. It's not just sex but sex motivated by love and that makes this so much more readable and endearing. Good show. Brian
  15. lomax61
    Hi paladin, impunity, puppilull and kitt, Thanks for these latest comments, and apologies for going to ground, but I knew this was going to be a crazy work week for me - which is why I had my knuckles rapped for submitting the last two chapters on the same day over the weekend. I'm still struggling to catch up with answering all the reviews but will get to that this weekend coming. Just to let you know, I use Google Maps directions to calculate commute times for stories. It's always good to have a clear idea of distance and travel times to make the story more authentic. So the commute by car from Hawk's Tor (The Coach House) to Plymouth is around 55 mins. In the UK, in a car at least, that's not a big deal. I used to do something similar. My brother used to commute across London using buses, Tube and trains for over two hours each way. Now THAT is a hellish commute.
  16. lomax61
    Hi Paladin. Thanks so much for that. The coach house IS a character, that's the way I feel. And I'm really getting a lot out of responding to the reviews, it's making me rethink some of the actions and the characters. I'd be interested what you make of my response to Lisa on her review of chapter 11 and calling Max (quite deservedly) an asshole. "I am going to be controversial here and throw in something in asshole Max's defence. Who was sent off to get the champagne at the gallery opening? Who was left to arrange the skiing weekend? Who's doing the manipulating here? How did Max know all about Anton's love of art? If you were Christian's new BF and all he ever did was talk about his ex doing this and that, how would you feel? Remember, it's Christian and Anton's 'old friends' coming to dinner, none of Max's seem to have been invited. He has to meet them for a beer miles from home. Is Christian trying to make Max feel inferior in the relationship this time around, make Max feel lacking in all the ways that Anton excelled. I bet Max's dinner conversation will be a struggle for him. And I bet Christian makes no bones about pointing out all of these failings to Max, just to rile him. Not beyond the realms of human nature is it?"
  17. lomax61
    Just posted chapter 13 - this is now going to be 15 chapters so a few things will unravel here. My apologies for not being as active on this forum as I feel I should have been but there’s not a huge amount I could have added. The insights I have gained from the threads of comments and replies have been invaluable. I don’t want to give anything away here, but I’ve now edited this story down into three more chapters (15 in total) so all will shortly be revealed. This site with the reviews and the forum has given me the perfect opportunity and motivation to finally finish this story - something I needed badly. After that I’d love to hear what you think, whether there are any elements of the story that don’t work, or you feel should have been explained better, or any things that simply don’t make sense. I’m also going to catch up with all the other great stories on this site that I’ve begun to read and pick up on some others that I’ve yet to start. Thanks so much, everyone, Brian
  18. lomax61
    Another great chapter with lots happening. Lanny is a dick. But we all need those kind of characters in stories so that the good guys have someone to stick it to - and Kendall punching Lanny in the nose did it for me. That Candy is manipulating Lanny is low, though, and I can only hope they both get what they deserve. What the hell did Michael ever see in her? It’ll be interesting to find out more about her motivations for causing Michael harm - is it just wounded pride? The potty chair remark had me laughing out loud. And the kiss, good work, but now it’s time to talk. Good work, as always. Brian
  19. lomax61
    I got so caught up reading this story that I’ve not left reviews like I should, so I’m catching up now. Loved this chapter because it shows how in sync Kendall and Michael. So when Michael has wound himself up so much that he has to call Kendall, Kendall has already called and left a message. And even the call, when Kendall knows what Michael is thinking and tells him they could meet up over the weekend, which makes Michael feel better, you can kind of see how these two are already joined at the hip. Great chapter. Brian
  20. lomax61
    Another great chapter. It's so like Michael to bluster in on Kendall and not think about the consequences. Kind of why I like character so much. He wears his heart on his sleeve. And I love how Chet sees more than simple friendship in Michael's response to Kendall, and because he is such a good guy, even to his own detriment, carefully brings it up with Kendall. Only to get shot down in flames, poor man. Excellent as usual. Keep up the good work. Brian
  21. lomax61
    Brilliant chapter, Gary. So refreshing to have approving and supportive parents like Michael's shown in a story, not only sympathetic but encouraging him to uncover his feeling, identify his sexuality. And also a great ending with Michael coming to the realisation that he already is in love with Kendall, already has a relationship with him. So the playing field has been set. Who could not want to go straight to the next chapter after reading this. Great work, as usual, Brian
  22. lomax61
    Dear drpaladin, I am honoured that you have chosen to view and review this story so far. I will not be offended if you take time away, We all have lives to live, at least I hope we do. If not, go out and find some people. You are so right about Stephen though, and let's be honest, appearances are not always what they seem. We all self protect during difficult times. I'm just wondering how I make someone like Max more likeable, or if I even need to. Even though he's based on somebody real, I would have lots of trouble to find any redemption qualities in his character. Christian is another matter. Enough said. Brian
  23. lomax61
    And again, there's that old saying that once someone has loved and been loved, they're more likely to love again. Hold that thought.
  24. lomax61
    Apologies about warnings for chapter nine. Sounds as though it was completely unnecessary. Touch of false advertising on my part but I wasn't sure about the norm for this site. In future I will keep quiet and let the story tell itself. Or throw in the odd threesome! Or foursome. Thanks for continuing to read. Lomax61 aka Brian
  25. lomax61
    Hi Gary. Another great chapter that peels away at Kendall’s conflicted emotions over his decision to remove Michael from his life. Great in the way you show how physical things, such as places and activities, can be changed, but the emotional attachment to them cannot. Also how people such as Sandy and Chet are always there in the background and will have spotted the closeness of the two friends. Chet was a nice diversion in the story, seems like a really together and extremely hot guy, and had it not been for the fact that I am still rooting for Michael to wake up and smell the Kona blend, I might have liked the idea of the two of them hooking up. Thanks for the read. Brian
×
×
  • Create New...