Foster,
Actually you have the right to ask for more. I like your words, they're angry and then they don't care like nothing never bothered them, they mock and in the end they beg. Thank you.
Wow, I've never seen something like this so it was new to me. (*hasn't read much poetry )
I liked the story but in the end I sorta felt like moving in a vicious circle.
II
“Broken fighters
Ruined ruins
Burned lighters”
The ladies inform.
“Dead
Senseless
Red”
That’s typical norm.
“Moving
Devoured
Corrupting”
They like swarm
“Gold
Oil
Diamond”
Those riches conform
Thunder
Rain
Light
There comes storm
III
I
Far away north, where big lands sold
Weeping giant curiously goes
Sword in hand, frozen, story unfold
Lost in time, creeps, hopelessness shows.
Walked the corpse, life fully controlled
Destiny harshly written, flows
Soldier of fortune, fought wrinkled old
Claims, destroys, kills before it snows.
Calm and cold, stood like a stale mold
Distorting sea as the wind blows
Never pleasure could be this bold
Risen waves, the monster growls.
It went better than I thought, so let's wait till the New Year. I doubt Mikeal's mom would be that easy to deal with. At least the coming out went smoothly