Liking a sad story is weird too. I'm sorry for your loss but at last he found peace. Every loss is different. I can imagine the rage, I felt it last month and honestly I took it on whoever I could, I said very mean things to everyone and well, they sorta got to know how I felt. I even thought I should have felt guilty for my meanness, but I wasn't. I felt lighter. So, you have all the rights to blame those people, even your brother. It's no fair that they made you be the one to make that choice, not that it was any choice.
Be mean, let others know you're hurt and not made of stone. You're an awesome person, but you don't have to be nice all the times.
Meanwhile go for a run, or do something you enjoy. I bet you can make a monkey army.
I pray you find peace soon.
Big hugs
And as Kitt said you got friends to talk to, whine and do whatever you like. :*