Timothy M.

Yes ! - for once an understanding family, so nice to meet a loving Dad and a great older brother. And good choice to end this otherwise rather emotional chapter with the funny story about the pirate costume. I like this story a lot.

Damn talk about the evil stepmother ! But actually I hate Zach's father even more. How can you betray your own child like that ? So coldhearted and stupid - no wonder he maried a bitch like that. Wonder how he ever got his first wife to marry him - but maybe he changed after she died, when she was not there to balance him out. And why did the sister run away - another sad sory there I bet.

Oh man, I've been away from this story for a while, but now I've gone through the whole thing again, only to end up with just one extra chapter, since I last read the story, and everything is still fucked up for Caleb. Please continue, you are killing me with not knowing what happens next. And I'm not even sure what I want to happen between Jake and Caleb. If only they had been together from the start, Jake would never have become a slut who can't commit. I think he wanted Caleb so bad it tore a huge gap in his soul and he just tried to fill it with sex. And I'm not sure whether Caleb can heal him or he'll be destroyed by this 'black hole' that Jake may have become. What a mess.

Urrgh that was painful and tense and embarrassing but unfortunately very realistic. We're still waiting for the explosion, but the fuse seems to have been lit. My shoulders are all hunched up with dread and anticipitation. I totally agree with Lisa, Caleb's fake life is unraveling and faster than is good for him. I think Knox may just be fed up with the treatment, he has had from Caleb and wants to confront him and this is the first chance he has. And Carson is on to something, but I'm not sure what.

So interesting to see hm interact with his friends - and nice that they are written out as real persons with depths and not just props to Caleb's story. And we are getting the first hints that Caleb has been hurting his friends with the way he has been for some time now. Also the guilt he feels at the realization. Well done on this chapter - on to the next.

Thank God for caring, clever sisters ! And I think Caleb just chipped the first hole in the brick wall of deceit and unhappiness he has surrounded himself with. Hope it won't mean that the whole dam bursts at once, because that might be a disaster. And yeah he needs to tell Avery, but I can understand his need to work up to it. Rome wasn't built in a day and coming out of the closet is not going to be easy for a guy like Caleb. In fact I was impressed we already got to the point in chapter 3.

I think this is the third time I've begun reading this story and every time I'm impressed at how well you do this stream of consciousness thing. Somehow it's not annoying but funny and sad at the same time. Makes my gut clench because Caleb is just caught up in this web of deceit and even if I want to say that he is pathetic, somehow you actually make me emphasize with him instead. Maybe it's because he is intelligent enough to see his own situation with such clarity and the fact that he is resigned rather than feeling sorry for himself. And I know it's going to get worse, not because I've read the story before, as I've suppressed the memory of he exact content (probably as too depressing:-) and that's why I'm reading it again. But just because you've already conveyed the feeling of this being a volatile situation most likely heading for a huge blow up, no matter how much Caleb tries to hold things together. So I'm hooked for another scary stomach turning roller coaster ride. That's how good a writer you are !

I think you can get away with a couple of non-dramatic chapters where they just slowly connect again and spend time with each other and the family and maybe a few friends. We don't have to have drama in every chapter, so don't worry about not being inspired. Anything you write is sure to be fun to read.

Well turns out that Daniel's rule about no alcohol in the rooms was rather sensible. Look what happened when Sam broke it: Daniel had non-consent sex including losing his virginity in pain to a selfish, horny, inconsiderate jerk who left him alone afterwards. I don't like Sam, and I hope Daniel gets rid of him asap. But I have the feeling that this story unfortunately is going in a different direction with a romance between Sam and Daniel after a few complications.

Hope CJ's lawyers sue the hell out of the TV station or get them punished some other way (e.g. by sending bad press their way) - this is one time when having lots of money is going to be really useful. Please do something clever and vindictive and let us have all the details, I love it when hateful media gets kicked where it hurts (money and image).

Finally, finally - and you actually made me feel sorry for Cole and understand why he was so messed up for a long time. But at least he managed to confess and Dale was still interested, what a relief. Glen and Jer being together was a major surprise, but such fun too. But such a shame they managed to interrupt just at that moment. Not just for the loverbirds, but for us too :-)

Arrgh, I just knew it, not only are Cole and Jeremy totally jealous of each other, but Glen makes his move at completely the wrong time and messes things up even more. Poor Dale, I can understand why he gets angry and walks off, but I wish he had stayed and let Cole explain. It's obvious he is trying to admit something important.

Jeremy is gay !!! - now that was a total surprise to me, though I now realize that you've put a hint or two in previous chapters. Oh man that can really complicate things, especially as Dale is actually attracted to Jer - who has the added advantage of being his best friend. I still want Cole to win but I feel sorry for Jer, cause I like him more and more as the story progresses. Took a lot of guts to come out and admit his feelings and do his best not to make Dale feel bad about it.

Yeah I agree, very hot - and I wish they would admit how attracted they really are to each other. But I guess this is where the whole beard thing will mess up their relationship. Oh, well at least they got some nice pictures out of the first session. And cool with the whole media thing, such a clever argument and just what I think too. More tolerance seems to be lacking in the world - and especially when mixed up with religion. I find it deeply ironic that (US) Christian zealots have homophobia in common with Muslims who are otherwise their arch enemies.

Probably one of the most emotional chapters of the story yet written in such a way that it is neither sentimental nor unbelievable that Dale goes through this catharsis (maybe too strong a word, but he does suddenly see his past and his dad in a wholly new way). And the reward is that he gets to be part of the football team, which is sure to be good for all of them. Oh and great to see a football coach portrayed as a intelligent and sensitive being rather than the stereotype we other get in these gay teen stories. Oh and the the little surprise about the interview gets tagged on the end, leaving us out of breath with all the whirlwind changes in Dale's life. This story gets better with every new chapter, you really are a great writer.

And another intense chapter: meet the parents - and lo and behold Cole's dad is just as clever as expected. But they sure did handle it just right, even without lying. The bi thing was unexpected, but on the other hand makes the whole thing a lot more plausible. Maybe also explains why Glen is his best friend, they have something unusual in common. And another fun football moment, he, he. Revenge is so sweet.

Almost my favorite chapter, I just loved the way they wiped the (greasy) floor with that scum bag. And it great that Dale does not cling to an unneccessary sense of pride, but acts sensibly and accepts the job offer. Oh and the teasing with the place of the first kiss was just hilarious, well done.

I just love this whole football team incident - and suddenly we have an old friend introduced, very interesting the way we learn about him - and also the fact that he acted independently of Cole in relation to the possibility of Dale being on the team. I think this is one of the really great thing about this story, that's it's Dale whole attitude and life that changes for the better with his decision to help Cole and be his (boy)friend.

And so it starts - and poor Dale is thrown right into the difficulty of the difference in money and social status. But at least he managed to have fun and look at the advantages of this game.

I liked that Dale did not just give in to Cole, that he was able to tease him and stand up to him. Sets them on a more equal footing, which is certainly necesssary if they are going to pull this off. And even more so if it does end up as more than a fake relationship. That would never be belivable if Cole had the upper hand right from the start.

Brilliant initial chapter, where we get to know the two main characters and something of their background - though some of the important stuff about Dale's parents is only hinted at. And then of course the final boyfriend part which really boosts our interest in what is going on. I'm on my fourth read, but I still enjoy this story a lot. This time I'll do my best to comment, instead of just getting caught up in the story :-)

I've read quite a few of your short stories, and I enjoy them, even if I also would like to know more, especially in this case. But I accept this is your way of doing things, even if it's frustrating having to wonder what will happen next. It's like having a small bite of a wonderful cake and then left craving for more.

Hope his dream comes true, sounds like he needed it.

I liked the story (this is my second read), but it ended rather abruptly, which was a bit disappointing. Did you get bored with it ? I think you should rewrite chapter 6 and let the story expad to a few more chapters, because we'd like to know more about all four.

Somehow those two guys just grow on you, in spite of their foul language, their messed up lives, and their inability to face up to their feelings. The first three chapters were too depressing in spite of the inherent funny parts, so I never got round to commenting, but this one had me smiling in the end. So I felt like tellling you that you've done well in writing something completely diffent and very consistent and credible in the way they interact. Glad they found each other again when they were mature enough to admit their love and need.