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Everything posted by Timothy M.
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I like Jane, she is intelligent and compassionate. Brad is acting like a jerk, even if he is shocked. Not matter if it's the gay thing or anger that his best friend would not confide in him, just walking away is not an acceptable reaction. Hope his sister kicks his butt - mentally. Poor Brett - but he is a bit of a wuss
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Chapter 7: Confusion
Timothy M. commented on JudgeGabranthXII's story chapter in Chapter 7: Confusion
So I arrived to the last chapter so far, and it's diificult to know what to say in the face of so much pain and abuse and horror. Maybe that's also why you have stopped writing, it's like you wrote yourself into a corner, which is impossible to get out of. And rather depressing too. I think maybe where it went wrong (for me) was the moment Kade admitted to being raped and Ritchie didn't even suggest calling the police or going to the hospital. I suspect it would have been an easier line of development, and the bit about Jakes' dad could have been revealed in another way. Hope you find a way to deal with the mess. -
Chapter 1: The Prelude
Timothy M. commented on JudgeGabranthXII's story chapter in Chapter 1: The Prelude
I think you did well with introducing us to the protagonist. He is almost stereotype, but then there are subtle little twists that keep us wondering. Why can't he remember his past? Why does he hate himself for being gay? And he is selfaware of many things, showing intelligence and control. So at the outset I feel more curiosity than pity for him. Let's see how it goes on. And just continuing with this story which is unfinished and has been updated in a long time is something of a gamble. But I'll take it and hope you're still here to work on this. -
Finally Kurt and Tahryn are connecting, even if there's still plenty of issues to deal with. And we get the first hint of how they'll probably resolve being two dominant male wolves mated to each other. Kurt will top as a wolf and bottom as a human - though I don't think he has thought of it quite that way, or even accepted it as a solution. And anyway Tahryn is probably too messed up to even contemplate sex for a long time, especially submitting to another guy (though being in wolf form might help). But it's clear that he needs some sort of physical and mental connection to Kurt to stay sane. What a mess. Scary with description of the situation in Tahryn's old pack. Wonder if the Council can really do anything about Alphas like that ? Well, I guess this is one of the drawbacks to difference between human and pack dynamics. But it does serve to highlight how well this pack functions.
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I remember wondering (when reading Inside) about Benny and Yuri mating and bonding without the permission and knowledge of Yuri's father. Especially with the things that were said about the hierachy and tyranny of traditional Tiger clans. It wasn't clear whether it was the gay part or the disobedient part that enraged the Alpha most, and why the couple did not foresee the trouble. I'm sure there's good explanations for all of this, and I'm very much looking forward to seeing them come to light here. Hmm maybe Velaku is hoping to set up an alternative to the traditional clans so unhappy and oppressed Tigers have somewhere to go. That could eventually force the old clans to change. Would be just like Velaku to have such a long term goal in mind. As well as bolstering Benny's crumbling self-esteem. Anyway, great chapter even if the erotic moment was interrupted so terribly. Almost made me jump in my seat with fright - bet you're happy to hear that
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I thought the topic was interesting, but the story was too short to do it justice. And the dialogue was more like pre-prepared loigic arguments than natural speech. Though I shouldn't really criticize dialogue since I'm crap at writing it myself If you ever wrote this out to a longer story and had more things happening inbetween the various discussions and maybe had some of it as thinking or internal dialogue, I think it would be a very thought provoking essay. Especially the part about others thinking you should do it as a statement because you fought for the right.
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I'm glad to see that I don't have to eat humble pie about Zach yet. And that both he and Brad seem to support Will's right to be utterly pissed with Tony and Matt. However, if Will had thought of his 'motal compass' i.e. Wade, he would have realized it too, because Wade was utterly disgusted with those two - enough to express his wrath in public. And I think you got my cherry in ch 55
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Yes, I got to be first to express my admiration for your new story. Liked the fact that the humans blended into the family and that the Alpha sees the quality in Dinahei. Hope he'll rule in favor of the threesome if things get nasty.
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Ah I hadn't realized that this tied into the end of Hypnotic. So Dav and Ellis are not that settled in their new mating either. Not to mention Ellis' twin and all the other stuff going on. Noone will have time for Benny and Dav won't like him resigning. Not good, but at least we know you care for him
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I feel sorry for Clinton, even if I can understand Corey being unready to have sex. They could have solved it by having a shower. But then I guess Corey would have felt akward standing in front of Jenny with wet hair and smelling of soap. Though not as bad as having to admit to your former girlfriend that 'my boyfriend wanted us to have sex and I panicked'. No wonder Corey refused to say anything and I like Jenny for not pushing. At least Corey made it clear to Gerry how things were. Oh well I can see this is not a story that will end happily anytime soon. But at least that means many more chapters to enjoy
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I was so stunned by this chapter that I couldn't think of anything to say. After reading the next chapter and then re-reading this one as well as all the comments and replies (most of which said a lot of clever stuff that I agree with), one feeling remains: I cannot wait to hear about Matt's thoughts and reactions. Not only was he forced to face the ugly truth (including the risk that he may lose the love and respect of both Wade and his family) by the patriach of the family. But then he was chewed out in front of everyone - after having humiliated himself by apologizing to Will and being slapped down (I think that's how Matt will see it). My fear is that Matt will be so upset about the blows to his pride and ego from that day, that in defense he'll ignore the real problem and tell himself that he needs to fight back (the gladiator image JP brought up was vey apt - as the next chapter shows). If Matt falls into that trap, he will not learn from his mistakes. Maybe the counselor will be able to help him deal with the issues that JP and Frank pointed out, but Matt has to want to change his behavior. And from your replies here, I get the feeling it's not where the story is heading. Thus it will be very interesting to hear Matt's internal dialogue when he tries to either convince himself that he is not to blame or comes to terms with how badly he has fucked things up. Or maybe even both ?
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I have trust in Zach and I'm glad to see that Will has too. He knows that Zach is in the closet and the guy has to have some kind of excuse to be seeing Will so much. And because people around Zach thinks he is selfish and a user, they accept the idea that Zach is preying on Will. I'll be back to eat humble pie if I'm wrong and Mark decides to expose Zach as a predator, but until then I'm rooting for him and Will as a couple (for now anyway). And thanks for an awesome chapter with my two favorite guys - and I enjoyed seeing them let off some steam (each in their own way). It's always fun but scary to see Will blow up - sort of like a vulcano. Wade is more like an earthquake, the tension gets higher and higher and then the foundation you relied on is suddenly yanked away. Poor Matt he still hasn't realized what he may have lost. Hope his shrink is competent and patient and merciless.
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I held out for two days and then I had to give in to temptation and read this. And now I'm hooked and can't wait to have more chapters. Arrrgh I just knew that would happen Anyway I agree with belann, Inside of you and Hypnotic are my favorites of your stories, though I like all the Carthera tales. And I always wanted to know more about Benny, even if it is a tragic story.
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Wade and Will are definitely my favorite guys of that generation, and they fit so well together as friends. Will is always doing much better when he uses Wade as a role model and when Wade is helping him think things through. This thing with Matt is a prime example, and I notice that Stef was the one to think of this solution - confirming him as the main cool guy of the whole story. I think Will also helps Wade in a way, because Wade needs the anger an hurt of Will. He cannot let himself hate Matt, so Will does it for him, and accepting and condoning Will's feelings lets Wade experience the same thing without feeling guilty. Can't wait for the next chapter, I hope JP makes it a condition that Matt has to get help dealing with his unhealthy ways of deling with stress. I'm hoping Matt will stop acting like an ass, not so much for his own sake, but for Wade who deserves to have the support and love of the man he still loves and needs. I suppose Tony's shrink was right, he should have stayed away from Will. Maybe being banned will make Tony stop being an idiot, but I couldn't care less. Glad Will was already involved with Zach instead, even if that is another uncertain thing. At least Zach will never betray Will, even if he cannot admit to loving him or come out as gay.
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Very funny and also nice twist at the end. Loved his mum reaction with the shopping. Hopes he finds a girlfriend who is the same size and will enjoy sharing clothes.
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Chapter Seven: Scene of the Crime
Timothy M. commented on Thorn Wilde's story chapter in Chapter Seven: Scene of the Crime
Well, not much to add to the previous reviews. You managed to convey the gut wrenching feeling of Nich very well, I felt slightly sick while reading this chapter (or maybe I'm getting the flu :-) Anyway, I think it was for the best that Nick told Stuart and Matt, I'm sure he'll need their support. Hope they get to audition another day - and that Nick is well enough to do so. -
Chapter Six: You Don't Care About Us
Timothy M. commented on Thorn Wilde's story chapter in Chapter Six: You Don't Care About Us
I'm with Lisa here, it was absolutely cool the way Dave outed himself. And I liked that he complimented his boyfriend on his singing voice in such a relaxed and supporting manner, and still came across as romantic. Oh and I agree with Matt: it hot when Nick put himself in charge. How about having him do that with Dave and top him ? (Can't remember if they are versatile or not). -
It's funny how you can start reading a story and develop notions on how it will end and then it turns out to go in a totally different direction. A much better one, by the way. I was all ready for the usual "two long time friends finally work out that they like each other", but instead you gave us a slow romantic development with the best friend really being there for Joey, even when he did not understand what the deal with Neal was (sorry couldn't resist :-). And I liked the way you teased us into having to imagine the intense intimacy that Joey and Neal shared the first time. It was obvious that they fell in love that night even if it was never said out loud. That was another benefit of the clever POV you used. It also worked really well that Neal was so much more confident and in his element at their second meeting, because it was obvious then that the relationship would be between two equal partners, who both had their strengths and weaknessses, and that they complement each other. Oh and the Darcy and Knightly slash story comment had me grinning madly and trying to work out who would top All in all you come across as a versatile and intelligent writer and I hope to read a lot more stories of yours in the future. And more than once, too (this was my second time with this one, I like to return to my favorites).
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You Sure You Want to Do This?
Timothy M. commented on MJ85's story chapter in You Sure You Want to Do This?
Actually I don't think Kevin's Dad reacted too badly. After all he was just presented with his worst nightmare - and no matter if he should know better, it's really hard to just rid yourself of those ingrained prejudices all at once. He did not want to reject his son, just the idea that he was gay, he did not want to look at his son that way. But with some help he was actually able to cut through the BS and come to realize all he still loves his son and so he needs to accept him the way he is. If Kevin needed more than a year to acknowledge his feelings for Jake, he should be impressed that his Dad got there so much faster. Good coming out story no matter what. -
It's a really good story, and I think part of the fun is that the notes more or less forced Jake to go through a whole string of possible boyfriends in a few weeks and realize that while he was attracted to them and they were nice guys as well as hot, they were not quite right. And also this was a bit of a pay back on Kevin for playing the silly game, though he argued his case well when he explained why. I liked Vince, so nice to see a guy who is a player but also cool in that he does not want to spoil things for Jake and Kevin. How about writing a story about Vince and letting Jake and Kevin be sidekicks and that way let us know what happens with them after this. We want to know but that way it would not just be a sequel.
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I enjoyed this story a lot, but it ended too soon. It's not a complaint, because it worked really well to have the story end on a hopeful note and not spell the happy ending out. It's just my way of saying that I liked the characters and their interaction and the setting and your way of writing. So I ended up craving MORE :-) So how about writing a sequel ? Pleeaasee
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Why oh why are you not continuing this ? It's so powerful and amazing, and I cannot believe there is only one other review begging you to continue. And I absolutely cracked up at the whole painting sequence - plus it's refreshing with a grief counselor character who actually knows what she is doing.
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Not much I can add to all the other comments on a wonderful winter tale. I liked the down to earth and realistic feeling to the story with the tiny twist at the end.
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Funny and tender at the same time - and I loved how they dealt with Malcolm - except they should have thrown him in the river :-)
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Absolutely awesome. This is my second read and even though I knew what was going on, it was still pretty intense and gut wrenching. I like your others stories as well.