Thorn Wilde

I'm doing it again! November is almost here, and I will be participating in NaNoWriMo once more. Last year, I won with Nemesis 2 (which, as many of you are aware, still isn't quite finished; I'm in the editing and rewriting stage and totally stuck, but I'm sure it'll come). This year, I will be working on the detective novel I've been planning for some months now. I'm really excited for it, which is awesome, as I don't get really excited about things very often these days. Now, it just so happens that NaNoWriMo is a nonprofit that, in addition to running and maintaining a website, also funds creative writing programmes for, in their own words, 'nearly 500,000 kids and adults in approximately 200 countries, 2,000 classrooms, 650 libraries, and 600 NaNoWriMo regions every year.' They provide tools for teachers, librarians and community leaders to run writing and reading programmes to promote literacy and creativity, they use their vast network to get talented and famous writers to write pep-talks and post encouragement for participants, and they inspire aspiring writers around the world to pick up their pens, notebooks and/or laptops and write. I would donate all of my money towards this fantastic cause. Promoting creativity is a recipe for peace and prosperity, and if NaNoWriMo keeps growing they'll be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize any year now. Unfortunately, I have rent and bills and tuition fees that need paying, and I'm incapable of studying and working at the same time, so my funds are limited. Which is why I've set up a NaNoWriMo fundraiser. NaNoWriMo allows their participants to create fundraisers to ask friends, family and random strangers on the Internet to donate to NaNoWriMo on their behalf, kind of like a sponsorship, all in the name of motivation. None of this money goes to me. I don't get anything out of this except good feels and maybe some freebies if I raise enough. And both good feels and freebies are pretty motivating things. So, this is where you guys come in. If you'd like to join me in helping NaNoWriMo to continue to be awesome, please visit my fundraising page. There's some information on there about the programme, but if you'd like to know more about how the money is spent and where it comes from, you can do so here. And, if you'd rather make a personal donation and maybe get some freebies of your own, you can donate directly here. As they put it themselves, by donating 'You not only support people’s novel writing dreams, you help transform people into creators who see new possibilities in the world—and act on them. You spark a creative revolution.' And, hey, who doesn't love a revolution? Thank you for reading!

That video was amazing. I love how intelligent and reflected some of these kids are. I was born right at the end of the 80s, so I can remember some of the 90s remnants of 80s fashion. I owned several fanny packs. And I had my mum's old multi-coloured 80s walkman cassette player, which was just the coolest thing ever in its purples and greens and neon yellows. So I feel oddly nostalgic about the 80s even though I can't remember actually living it. Also, I love grunge fashion.

It was definitely the one I wrote the quickest. I couldn't sleep and I was thinking and came up with it. I typed it into word, went over it a couple of times and then posted it. All that considered, I'm very glad you liked it so much. Thank you! Your reviews always give me a happy.

Thank you! I wrote it on the metro on my way to school one morning, after passing a beggar in the street. Norway has just gone and outlawed begging (the law will be taking effect in January) so this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

I'll admit I chose writers that worked in the cadence of the poem. Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!

I believe it is a rather more famous Wilde than myself. Thank you. The words of a poet matter a lot.

I want to touch you You’re right next to me and I want To reach over and Run my fingers through your hair But you’re too far You said You can’t sleep if you haven’t got room You said That’s why we need such a wide bed You said You can’t sleep if I touch you You’re already asleep If you weren’t I might Reach Touch Hold you for a bit But you’re asleep And I don’t want to wake you Or startle you So I lie here Longing And in my sleep I search for you Roll into the midd

Thanks, you guys. Irritable, my psychologist is gonna ask the doctor at the centre about alternate medications that might not have such an adverse effect on my creativity. Meds that would make me more easily nauseated would be a bad idea, though, as I suffer from emethophobia.

Thank you! It makes me sad every time I walk past without giving... Though of course I know I can't realistically give to everyone. But it feels like, when I do have some coins, I should, you know?

Thank you. I hope so too.

The coin in my pocket The one I didn't give you this morning Because it was early, and I was in a hurry And I didn't remember that I had it until I had walked past And I didn't turn back Because it was early, and I was in a hurry I'll probably give it to somebody else now Someone else who needs it more than I do Someone who can use it to buy a cup of coffee Or some bread Or clean needles It's okay if you need it for clean needles And I'll think it won't matter who I give it to On

So, I haven't been here much lately, and the longer you stay away the harder it is to come back. So I thought I'd post a sort of general update for those who might be interested. First of all, I'm doing okay. I take my meds, I get up in the mornings and go to school (I haven't quite mastered getting up the mornings I don't have school, but I'm working on it), I do my homework, I mostly eat proper food and the flat isn't a complete mess. Magpie's busy with work and uni, I'm just busy with school. I'm studying sound production. Currently we're learning about pro-tools, and some of the physics of soundwaves and how they pertain to setting up a studio or a gig, and analogue mixers, and the history of digital sound, and sound in relation to dramaturgy in film and on TV. We have practical lessons in the Mac lab and in the studio, and this week we're taking studio certification tests. If I pass, I'll be able to book time in the studio an play around with my own stuff whenever I like. I honestly don't quite expect to pass on the first go... I was off sick week before last, and I missed the whole lesson on compressors. Still, if I don't pass the first time I can try again in a couple of weeks. No big. I took up knitting over summer, which means I now have a yarn obsession. I can go into a yarn shop and buy just one thing, but it takes a lot of self discipline to pull off. Mostly, I walk out with three new colours that I want to turn into hats for my friends. I have a knitting problem. I also have a medication problem. I realised it had become a problem when I wrote a poem on the metro on my way to school one morning and I thought, wow, my creativity must have come back, only to realise later that I had forgotten to take my meds that morning. The days I do remember to take them (which is nearly all as long as I keep them by my bed or somewhere really visible) I can focus better in class, I'm less jumpy and I don't get all angsty among strangers, but my creativity is close to zero. Win some, lose some. I'm finally in therapy, though. The past few sessions have been to get an idea of the roots of my problems. Tomorrow we'll be starting properly. Hopefully, after a while in therapy I'll be able to stop taking the meds. Don't know when that will be, though. Which means I don't know when I'll be able to get back to writing. Before school started I was at a point where I could manage to get a little bit done every day if I pushed myself, but now I just don't have the energy. I hate it. I want to write, and I want to play my instruments, and all that stuff, but I come home from school and all I manage to do is sit in front of the computer and play games, or watch Netflix, or something like that. Weekends I catch up on the sleep I missed out on during the week. A couple of weeks ago my nephew was finally born. He's adorable, and pretty well behaved for an infant. I've been over to my brother's place twice to see him. I got my first tattoo last Saturday. Just a teensy one. Nothing big, nothing fancy. But I get why so many depressed people like getting tattoos. It's an incredible high. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Less painful than going to the dentist. But it gets the adrenaline flowing, and when you're done you feel like you're the king of everything. And you feel happy. The rest of the day I was just walking around grinning. I want another one. So, that's where I am right now. I've been pretty absent from all my social media. It's like I get enough of people just going to school with them every day. So when I get home I shun all society. I haven't seen any of my friends since Magpie and I had a dinner party last week. It mostly feels like I'm living one day to the next. Planning is hard. Thinking ahead is hard. But I guess that's okay for now. I hope I'll be able to be here more often soon. I'd really like to. I miss all you guys.

Happy day-after-your-birthday, Cia!

I can write drunk (though I have to check my work for typos the next day, and it's slow going sometimes), but I can't focus on reading. I tend to end up reading the same half page 15 times and then give up.

I would rather have spiders than mosquitoes any day. I love spiders and I'm not afraid of them one bit, and I have nothing like your excuse. I was a bug kid, though. I was the one who always picked up little creepy crawlies and let them walk across my hands. Spiders, caterpillars, beetles, bumblebees, you name it. If it lives in Scandinavia, odds are I've handled it, or at the very least watched it in fascination. I should obviously have become an entomologist.

I love typewriters! They make me happy. I really want a typewriter to type up my final manuscripts on.

I woke up yesterday, and my friend was checking the news and was like, 'No! Robin Williams is dead!' and I just couldn't believe it at first. I don't think it's quite hit me yet... I love all his movies, from the silly to the serious, and his stand-up, and essentially just everything he's ever done. Today, I was so upset to hear that people have been calling him a coward for killing himself and harassing his kids on social media. People suck. Even the mightiest mountain is eroded by wind and snow and rain and ice, and it's the same with people. Enough time, enough shit, and the strongest people in the world lose their will to live. My thoughts are with his family, and he will be missed. As far as I'm concerned, he was a hero. Oh, Captain, my captain!

Black tea of some kind or another. Ceylon's good, Earl Grey is better. I brew it strong, with just a drop of milk and no sugar. If it's too hot for tea, I make a really tasty unsweetened iced tea from Darjeeling, with lemon. I never have coffee in the morning as it makes my tummy weird, though I sometimes drink it in the afternoons or even in the evening. Doesn't hurt my sleep one bit, oddly enough. I try to make sure my tea and coffee is fair trade, if I can. A friend of a friend tried to order a cappuccino after dinner at a restaurant in Italy, and the waiter flat out refused to serve her one because it's a breakfast drink.

I didn't know Trebs as well as I would have liked, but I am deeply saddened to hear of his passing. Rest in Peace, Robert. My condolences to all his friends here. These things are never, ever easy. <3 Times like these, I find myself compelled to quote W.H. Auden's Funeral Blues, because I think it describes so very accurately how it feels to lose someone you love. 'The stars are not wanted now; put out every one, Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; For nothing now can ever come to any good.'

Thank you! I do plan to continue with it. Mostly I've just been having a rough time, mentally, for a while, but it feels like I'm getting closer to picking it up again. As for writing from Mark's POV, it's not really in the cards, but we'll see.

That depends on the contract. Any author worth her salt would make sure she does get royalties for the movie adaptations. A few nice, comfy percentage points straight off the top. According to International Copyright Law, if you adapt someone else's work, you owe them royalties for it. I wouldn't give two shits about 50 Shades if it weren't for the fact that it gives such a skewed image of BDSM. A proper dominant would never, ever behave as irresponsibly as Christian Grey. No aftercare, no safety, I mean, he's a psychopath, and people think this is sexy. It can lead people to enter into unhealthy BDSM relationships with irresponsible doms, which could be extremely harmful. This is why I refuse to have anything to do with it. I won't give a single penny to this franchise.

I just can't believe that you guys are perpetuating the same tired old gender stereotypes that have led to homophobia in the first place. In ancient Greece it was perfectly acceptable for a grown man to take a young male lover. The man was then expected to take the dominant role, while the boy was expected to take the passive, 'female' role. Once the boy became a man, he would have been ridiculed or even shunned if he continued to prefer bottoming. Ancient Rome was the same. A free man could pretty much shag whatever he wanted—man, woman or beast—so long as he took the dominant role. The Vikings saw aggression and dominance as a virtue, and as such a Viking warrior who took sexual advantage of male slaves or raped his enemies on the battlefield was all fine, but if someone so much as indicated that you were the slightest bit feminine or, gods forbid, took the passive role during anal sex, you pretty much had leave to kill him and nobody would even question the morality of it. It was the worst insult anyone could give you, because it indicated that you were passive, weak, feminine. Even today, when straight guys take the piss out of each other, they never indicate that they take the dominant homosexual role. Instead they suggest that they 'like taking it up the arse' or 'like sucking cock'. They insult their masculinity, because masculinity is more valuable than femininity. Being a manly man is better than being a woman. It goes as far as to the internalised homophobia of some gay men, who won't bottom because they think it's unmanly, and I weep for those guys, because how can they ever respect their romantic partners? Homophobia and misogyny both come from the same system of beliefs; the belief that that which is masculine is more valuable than that which is feminine, and anyone who steps outside their gender roles is a lesser person. A butch lesbian has 'penis envy' and is just 'trying to be a guy', while an effeminate man, gay or straight, is weak, a pussy, a sissy, and notice how every slang expression in the English language that indicates weakness has a feminine slant, while almost every slang expression that indicates strength or aggression has a masculine slant? One day, I'd like to hear someone say, 'Man, that dude has some serious ovaries!' Anyway, I think some of you would do well to remember that every time you perpetuate a gender stereotype you're shooting yourselves in the arse. No one thinks all men should be 'sensitive, gentle, and non-agressive', as Matt put it (although it's not like the world needs any more aggressive arseholes than it already has), any more than they think all women should be hairy, butch tractor lesbians (not that there's anything wrong with that either). I just think everyone should care a little bit less about people in terms of their gender and more in terms of the product of their words and actions, and what good they do in the world. Because physical sex matters so very little in the grand scheme of things, and gender is, let's face it, more a social construct than a biological imperative, something I think everyone here should be able to appreciate.

W_L has a good point when he argues that the crusaders of gay rights are straight allies. Women's suffrage would not have happened if they hadn't had support from men. Black civil rights would not have happened without support from key members of the white majority. That does not mean that minority champions of their causes are not heroes. It starts with one member of a minority saying, no, I won't let you oppress me anymore. But it's naïve to think that a revolution will happen without support from the masses. Homophobic straight manly men don't listen to queers; they listen to other straight manly men. Christian fundamentalists don't listen to 'sinners' and 'heathens', they listen to other Christians. That's the key. We have to keep talking to folks that will listen. The ones who won't can't be convinced by us, but they may be able to be convinced by other members of their group. A few centuries ago women weren't allowed to be actors, and all female roles were played by effeminate men. *shrug* These men were the superstars of the day, and while some of them certainly were gay behind closed doors, no one thought that dressing like a woman made a man gay, any more than they thought wearing a horse costume made them zoophiliacs.

Speaking of the Grand Canyon... I couldn't find a decent quality video, so I'll paraphrase a bit here, but the Irish comedian Ed Byrne talks about going to the Grand Canyon. He says that in Ireland, when you're feeling a bit hungover and you've had a crap day and someone comes and asks, 'How are ya?' You say, 'Ah, grand.' 'So, honestly, I was expecting the Grand Canyon to be a little bit shit. They should have called it the Fucking Brilliant Canyon.'

OMG, I've missed so many... Welcome to all the newbies!