Jason Rimbaud

Just wow. Plowed like a field in early spring. Twenty chapters of lies, half truths, denial, and filth, summed up in a single sentence so perfectly. . Mario, from Chapter One? Good guess. By the way, I included Twins in my story too. Though in the other version, they had a much bigger part to play. Percy is a pitcher, a very promising one at that. I have always looked at Bethany as she's pragmatic. She loves Five, but over the course of their conversations in the months leading up to this story, she had doubts that he was all in on her. He had admitted to being at least bi-curious, and crushing on Percy. So in her mind, she felt like she needed to know sooner rather than later if he was the one. I think we both write what we know. I think I've had a bunch of chaotic relationships in my life, messy FWB's, horrific breakups and mind shattering one night stands mixed in with fun boyfriends and hidden secret affairs under the cover of darkness. The rest of it is my filth imagination working overtime. I rarely sit back and think, would my character do this. If something off the wall happens, I try to figure out how to incorporate that new oddity into their behavior somehow. The difference between us, your characters connect with people on emotional levels, deep and lasting. I think people connect with my characters for the absurdity they bring.

hahahahaahahaha PS: I don't take any of your comments as negative. I love discussing the characters and plot in deep, meaningful ways. And it makes me feel rather happy that they are connecting with readers. They are messy, which is always fun to write. I can do messy, I can do humorous, I can't do deep, emotional dialogue that is in your wheelhouse. I do silly. When was he not in this position? You might be correct in this. Because I cut her storyline pretty quickly, I hadn't fully fleshed out her role. But I'd like to think she'd be down to have a proper thropple/thrupple with Five and Percy. But Percy not wanting to do the nasty, would be more focused on Five and I think that would hurt her.

First, it was filth being filthed, but it cemeted their relationship. And finally they accepted it. And they talked after the deal. Your complaints about them not really talking, they talked, and finally were honest about everything. Second. There has been a lot of misdirection in this story, the stolen underwear and soiled bedsheets, weren't part of that. Thirdly, (hi girl) I was wondering if you'd come around to our dear ole Five by the end. Remember I wrote two endings, one happy, and one not so happy. You'll find out by Saturday (this week) which ending I chose. Bethany would never pawn a gift from Five.

I'm not sure how I did it, but considering Ethan is barely in this story, he has garnered a bunch of dislikes. I need to remember how I wrote him so I could use that again in the future. If you remember in Christmas In Glacier Bay, Jason describes Percy as drinking like a fish, and plays baseball like a god. Percy has a high tolerance as he is known to drink a lot. I like this theory by the way. A medical emergency, I wonder what it could be. That's the part that I cut from the story. Bethany has her lovers of the same sex as well. And she is very open to an open arrangement. But certain things had to be cut and that entire storyline was the result. But it has been written, and fleshed out just left to be repurposed for another stupid story down the line. This is a conversation where one friend just knows what the other friend should do. It's arrogant, honest, and comes from a good place even though it's stupid. Five is all those things. That is Percy's biggest fear. To have that future closed to him because of his sexuality.

My husband smokes and for some reason I don't find it off putting. Throughout this whole story, you have maintained your dislike for Five. And I think you have hit his character on the head several times. I also think you have miscategorized his intentions as well. You hinted around the edges for a while now, and we are far enough in the story to address it. Percy and Five's relationship is messy, it's raw, emotional, lustful, and more importantly, it's honest in its dishonesty. Both lie to themselves in equal parts as they lie to each other. Self-preservation, denial, or even just not wanting to admit it means more than it does, has left them both spinning around in a whirlwind of the life they have created at PineCrest. Most people think Percy and Five are in this weird triangle with Bethany. The weird triangle is actually the sex itself. Their sex changes, subtle at first, but I think by the time you reach the end, you will see how this evolving sex changes the direction of their relationship. Either you'll like it, or you'll hate it, but it was a conscious decision on my part to depict this relationship in this manner, through the lens of sex. You are too close to the end for me to comment further, but judging by your very thoughtful and engaged comments thus far, we'll be able to circle back on this topic again.

Thank you Chris!

This is exactly what this piece is about. The protagonist was cheated on, lied to, and mentally abused, and when he had had enough, he made the wrong choice. I hesitated including this piece as I know it's dark, heavy, and touches on a subject that many find objectionable. Myself included. But I really wanted to show the opposite ends of the choices we make. The first piece, hopeful choices While this piece is about desperate choices. Sometimes when you are so deeply involved in a situation, the only way out is through. I had another stanza that I cut, which described what had been done to our protagonist to make him believe the only way he could move forward was to make that choice of violence. I felt that slowed down the "story" but I love and hate this piece. I don't think I'll ever revisit this theme in future poems; it left a sour taste in my mouth. I think. I should never have submitted it. But thanks muchly for your comment.

I saw him, standing in the shadows Alone and leaning against the wall Did I see him? Was It Him? I stepped up A hood covering my face The warm air was still and so was he I crept up, holding my breath In truth I knew at this time It was the moment of his death I had but this one chance I grabbed his arm and pulled him close Wanting him to savor the last free air What did I do? His voice pierced the stillness of the night Then I pushed him over to the wall

The Time To Escape Might Be Before It Begins If you are a victim of or have experienced relationship violence, or content related to these themes bother you as a reader, please do not read this content.

So now, even chapters with no sex turns you on? . Damn I am good!

Come on now, it was a rite of passage for years. I think you are looking at it from your adult, mature self. You might have thirty years ago, especially if you were friends with me. . Who knows what little things best friends fight about. That's a good point. He also wanted to see the video of Tyler getting blown, so being homophobic might be stretch. Tyler was talking shit about the football team. I might have not made it clear in the narrative, but the football team and Tyler and Devin, were going for the same table. They were trying to stop him from achieving that goal. PS: in a certain part of the story, I'll revisit this comment. There is a reason why Tyler was targeted, even if its not shown currently. Brandon seems to march to his own drummer. He does interesting things, sometimes just for the thrill. Not sure if Tyler's choice was subconsciously, but I think maybe the author might have fallen to that trap. .

I've been literally hundreds of times over my life. One of the reason I set this story in Hershey, I grew up near there. I'm very familiar with the landscape.

Thank you! I am really proud of this story. I hope you enjoy the twists and mysteries.

I think Gabriel only said that to make a threat. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. .

No. So we have one solid vote for Twin Brother. Noted.

I've come back to this to read multiple times now. I love the imagery, the anger throughout, the lustful desire, and incest. And then, once the deed was done, you have murder to boot. This is a complex yet angry look at religion and the adherence to a manual written by Bronze Age tent dwellers. Sorry it took so long to comment. This stuck with me, and I've thought about it for days. I also had a much longer comment, but my views on religion aren't important here, or anywhere really. What a wonderful piece. By far the most subversive of all the entries thus far. Love it.

Good instincts. Do you remember earlier, when I said the characters started dictating their own behavior and personality? Much like with Brandon and his love of watersports, Tyler was never supposed to be the bottom. When I was writing this scene, suddenly he was sitting on Brandon's dick, and it was a huge surprise to me. In my original notes, Tyler was the top, and Brandon was the bottom. But looking back, I had included dialogue and narrative beats that, like a trail of breadcrumbs, march straight ahead that Brandon, smaller, bullied, and overlooked, was a top and Tyler, popular, successful with the women in his life, was a power bottom. And the whole weak, little twink that needs protection from the big jock, was over done. Flip the power dynamic and see what happens. I think it works well for our duo. I always assumed, Brandon thought, if this was the last kiss, he was going to make it last all night. If this was the last time he was ever gonna hold him, he'd hold him tight til the morning light. If this was the last time, they'd ever be together. Then he'd give him something tender to remember him" Maybe Lee will get the reference, maybe.

You know there was a planned trilogy. I'm not going to write it probably, unless something happens and this story becomes popular. Let's go over the rumors again. Who is our mysterious man? Is it Frederick, Mehmet's man sent to kill both the Senator and Gabriel? Is it Gabriel's twin brother, in a desperate attempt to save his brother? Is it a Homeland Security agent trying to stop the assassination attempt? Is it an old army buddy? If so, what could the motivation be? If you look over the theories, only one really makes sense to me. What do you think?

Thank you. This was one of my favorites for sure. Probably written twenty years ago now.

They are straight, no dirty gay sex for them! Promise! I thought it was a fun twist on his super macho image, plus I wanted to show that DJ is fully committed to Michael. They need to be a strong couple moving forward. Damn, I already spoiled this in my above comment. Pretend you didn't read that. I don't know if the Senator lives or dies. .

He's just a good father. It's her birthday, he took her to see her favorite band. He's there more for her than for any other reason. Or the reason is the plot. He needed to be there so Gabriel's story began. He is introduced in this story and had a bigger part to play in the next story, like Michael and DJ, and Tiger Lane, who was also introduced for that same reason. They are all important in the future.

Ahem. *steps on soap box* "Why are we objectifying people's looks? Isn't it enough that they went around the moon? They are highly trained, highly disciplined men and also women who have done something not very many people have accomplished. We should be heralding these humans as heroes, not some weird space fetish." *steps down off soap box* What do you really think? "None of them are that attractive at all, and the thought of them boning in space kind of makes me nauseous." So the whole soapbox statement was just to be contrarian? "Pretty much."

The Senator and his daughter had left the park after a final publicity photo op with the guys. Mysterious Neon now went to the main pavilion to do their live broadcast and choose the winners of the contest they had been promoting for weeks. The prize consisted of two backstage passes, front row seats to the show, and the VIP after party. At the last minute they had thrown in an invitation to attend sound check. The package had their fans flocking to the park for a chance to win tickets to

Thank you! I am pretty pleased how this turned out.

A new theory to add to our laundry list of theories. Though what could Sean possibly know?