old bob

question 1 : about 15 % to 85 %, and even more if you count the bi's question 2 : its a mix of 2 factors . genetics and life circumstances.

Me ? No. And you ?

Love at 82 (my age) and 83 (my wife's age). We fell in love when we were 22 and 23. And it's still going on (tenderness has just replaced lust ).

Good luck from me too . Keep going and dont let go, you are able to win !

Wow Nephy, thanks for your nice words .You understood the black humour hidden in my blog . BTW bribe ? I dont like this method of negociations, I usually stand up, confronting face to face. My pride is my weapon :2hands:

It's not so easy tobring intent and action on the same "wave lenght" ! Often, I thought that my mind had defined my intent but my body choosed to act differently ! But at the end, I always accepted the will of my body, because it was always stronger and the result was never so bad that I expected..... and the mind has to follow, isn't it ?

Life is full of moments of joy and happiness and moments of worry and grief. It often goes from one to another from one day to another and adjusting is not always easy. Here one example : My wife can not stand the smell of stale smoke that I leave behind me after turning off my pipe. For weeks, she begged me to quit this damned pipe, soon my only joy at my age. Now, for almost four days, I no longer smoke, I passed the time when I was walking with my empty pipe in my mouth, just to remember the pleasure of smoking. I put to the "the archives" my pipes and fittings and discarded the little tobacco that I had. The satisfaction of my wife was pleased to be seen and I was happy for her and proud to have accomplished this exploit. Just before Easter, I went to see my doctor for my regular checkup, a routine meeting already scheduled 6 months ago and that I had completely forgotten. Bad surprise! It seems that my prostate cancer, dormant since 2005, begins to emerge again, an unexpected recurrence. As my doc said, at my age, I should be happy to have been saved for almost 5 years.... My main problem is not the possible recurrence of my cancer. If confirmed, it will be allready the second time and I know how to cure it As my wife says, she doesnt want me to stop smoking because the smell, but because I could get a throat cancer... Now, that I probably have another kind of cancer, why should I stop smoking my pipe ?

My best wishes for your "joint venture" . Believe me, you are living the best part, the beginning of love...I envy your chance

Who is speaking here (which side of you) ?

Just a quick answer : and at the first moment, you are right. I remember, I was 19 and I "played seriously" with the thought of suicide. But a little later (just a few weeks), the feelings about my unrequited love became bittersweet, and some years later, my crush was long fergotten but, even now, I remember with tenderness all this story, from the first encounter till the bittersweet end. This, amongst many others, is one of my beautiful memories of a long, eventful and happy life.

The only thing I can do is to tell you from my own experiences. I plucked 2 phrases from your blog : I had once thought that I could love my old friend, but I dared not try it... Yet, I feel like he's the guy that I truly wish to be with... Dont regret anything ! Your feelings are Gold for you. You live the life you want; you have dreams you will probably never live, but dreaming is also life. Make the best of your today situation, enjoy what you have, and at the same time enjoy your dreams. I'm sure you were happy to write this blog ! BTW, as an answer to Manda : to have unrequited feelings is NOT a bitch to live with.

Why not "The Wonderful Wizard of GA" ? or : "Frosty in Wonderland" ?

Thanks :worship:for the opportuneness to listen it. Song and poem are amazing, but why somelancholy ?

You lost your bet. Free will exist . My own life is the best proof of it. If you know who you really are, if you accept your limits and dont try to decide anything beyond them, if you care about all the experiences you made and if your will is still strong enough, I will feel you free. The only problem : you will have to live long enough to reach this goal. It took me at least 40 years .

Nephy, dont give up... You remember me the the poem "Moses" by Alfred de Vigny : "Lord, you made ​​me strong and solitary Let me sleep the sleep of the earth"... It's perhaps the destiny of strong people to be sometimes isolated... You are who you are, even when you thinks you are alone, you know that you have a lot of friends around you, friends who are ready to listen, to support you and to be with you, even when we only communicate from far away.

I hadn't . But in my young years (1944, I was 15) I belonged to a communist youth group ( well... when you are young,you are more an idealist than an opportunist !) At these times, I believed that the song "The Internationale" was dedicated to me, as to a millions others. (clipped from the film "REDS") and another more official : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCFibtD3H_k&feature=related Today, when I listen this song, I still remember the hopes it brought us, during WWII. BTW, it was neither a romance, nor a disaster .

I really like your poems, this one more than the others... BTW , I just red your poem in the "About me" of your profile. Beautiful, and wonderful..... ...what does it mean ? Just interested in LOVE ?

Within 12 days, I will celebrate an important anniversary. On the 19-April-06, I joined GA. I wrote my first blog on 26-June-06. Many followed, telling the story of my life, my experiences, good or bad, showing how I learned to become stronger, more patient, and sometimes trying to bring to others the best advices I could from an adventurous life. Five years later, many former members are gone and many new members arrived. I'm like some journalists or writers who combine their best articles or reviews, published daily, in a collection, illustrating the passage of time. Perhaps some members of today, who didnt read my first blogs, now deleted, could be interested to stroll through the past, to discover the steps of my journey through the last 82 years ? Today, I’m living with my wife in a small flat on the 6th floor of an old building in the middle of Geneva, with a large terrace, not far from my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. My eldest son died 3 years ago (heart attack), the second one work with me, my daughter died 7 years ago from AIDS after 20 years of successful fighting against the “plague” and my youngest son lives happily since years with his partner. The following sentences are summarized extracts from my old blogs for new members to know me better and to understand why some people call me a "wise man". I'm definitely not better than anyone else, just older, taking advantage of my experience and enjoying to share it. My experiences of life and death It was July 1943.I was 14 years old.I was camping with another boy same age on a beach at the lake of Geneva.We went to a "Midnight bath", skinny-dipping in the dark water. The sky was also dark, no moon and no lights on both side of the lake (it was war time).I swam far away from the border, alone and suddenly I was lost, didnt know how to return to the border and was panic-stricken.I saw me drowned until I heard my friend calling from the border.I remember the the coldness of the water and, for the first time, the fear of dying. The second time was much more serious. It was December 1969. I was 40 years old. I was working in Paris. My father was in a deep depression in a psychiatric hospital and died suddenly, alone, in one night.I came back as quickly as I could and was confronted with his body.It was my first real meeting with the death and I stayed a long time, meditating where we come from and where we go. The third time was even much more serious. It was April 1996. I was 67 years old. As I went to my doc for my annual checkup, the result was as bad as possible : prostate cancer.The solution was either radiotherapy or surgery. I chose surgery but I had to wait till August for the operation. It was the first time that I could really think about my life and my death. At last, we have always the choice and we have the control of our destiny, to decide the Yes or No of our future. It was an important lesson, important enough to share it. The forth time, it was April 2004. At my annual Spring checkup, I got bad news.My main heart artery was half blocked and I could have a sudden heart attack without notice.Once again a time of checking all the possibilities the surgeon could offer, a time of meditating about the decision to be taken. 3 weeks later, I was in the hospital again, to undergo an interesting operation called "angioplasty", staying awake and following the work of the surgeons on an internal TV-screen.Good humour and an optimistic attitude helped a lot. Again a good lesson for me. The fifth time, it was October same year. Cancer is a sleeping plague. My operation of April 96 wasnt entirely a success.Fortunately it was early enough for a radiotherapy, but with a success quote of just 50 %. The prognose wasnt vey good and I had once more to think about my future..End March 2005, the tumor was gone.It was my destiny to "go on", enjoy and make the most of my chances. Today, the lesson I want to share, as I allready wrote in my other last blogs about life and death, is to never give up. There is no problem without solution. It's your life, the solution is always in your hands.

Comments on the back of the book's cover : "Hundred years of misjudgements and stupid decisions, since the Crimean War until Pearl Harbour ... How is this possible?" ...... "The conclusion is obvious: to make good soldiers ,only the best civilians should be selected for a military career ."

It remembers me another book about military history, which I got as a farewell gift at the end of my military career (I was 55) : "On the psychology of military incompetence", written by Norman F. Dixon, Ed. Jonathan Cape London 1975. All the officers in charge should read it .

When I go through my galleries, it seems me that my own pics there are no more "up to date". Five years old pics are "history". Dont forget, I'm soon 82, a very old man, perhaps the eldest member of GA . So here I am, enjoying a nice day, making a break. But still active, working in my office at home (see the background).......

I have so many..... the best one : the Maggia river in the italian part of Switzerland (see my gallery), A beach at the Martinique see here L'ile du levant (south France) see here and a lot others....

All the movies from Frank Russell Capra (May 18, 1897 – September 3, 1991) : It Happened One Night (1934), Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936), Lost Horizon (1937), You Can't Take It With You (1938), Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939), Meet John Doe (1941), Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) It's a Wonderful Life (1946). BTW, i suppose that all these movies are forgotten today . "Arsenic and Old Lace" is the one I prefer .see there And a lot of other European movies ( the list would be too long to be brought here ).

better late than never ! * My best wishes for your 32th Birthday * You are an important member of GA and I always appreciate your comments and your humor . Anything against the fact that I would like to become your friend ?

By following the blogs for years, I was struck at how bloggers are changing moods. There is everything from the concerns of people in difficulty to the smiles of those who control their destiny. You move from evocations of everyday life to philosophical considerations about the loves and hatreds. Often, the style and rhythm of the writings are exemplary, increasing the pleasure of reading. But what about my own blogs ? Since my arrival here in 2006, I played "the game of confession", bringing in many blogs my good and bad experiences of my last 68 years, trying to draw positive conclusions and lessons for future, at least for myself and for my potential readers. Some time ago, I began to doubt the value of what I brought and the usefulness of my considerations. Why should I leave traces of my passages ? Looking back, talking about "everyday facts and opinions" that nobody is interested in, to give advice which nobody is listening to .... The pleasure of writing a blog stops when it is done and put on the internet. My answer has imposed itself: I deleted all my blogs, with at least the result of making room for others! Today I regret it. Life is full of little things and the good times I spent with "blogging" is part of my life. I will soon turn 82, I haven't anymore a great future ahead of me. The 5 years I spent with you, all the stories I read and reviewed, all the chats I participated and the messages I sent and got, all the friends I found, changed my life. The discoveries of my sexuality, my share to the struggles that gays fought to be finally accepted, my tough contacts with AIDS .... I found them all here, sharing with thousands of others of all ages and all backgrounds. This enrichment would not have been possible without GA. I just wanted to say it and to thanks all these who commented my blogs.