JayT
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The Beta Chapter 6-Home The two-and-half hour ride home from Dallas was mostly quiet. The only sounds that could be heard were the whispers from Gary and Toby in the third-row seats. Chris was driving, while Xak was staring out the passenger side window. Jacob and Xena were both asleep in the middle seats. Mostly they thought about Richard and Nicolas. Nobody could mourn for either one’s death, since in the end both were happier than they had been most of their lives. Once Xak had real
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I have cavities after reading that it was so sweet.
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yup but keep reading things might work out
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Mine! Part Two Chapter Twenty-three
JayT commented on Cia's story chapter in Mine! Part Two Chapter Twenty-three
They're heeerrrrreeeee!!!! -
I knew Kyle and Corey were a thing well since Kyle and Chris couldn't be...
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third time reading it-third time crying....Beautiful
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You've got a keeper bub.....hold onto that love and y'all can make it through anything
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Thank you so much....let me know when you need that hug returned
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Then I would say that you should have my member title (VIllain) because that would make you evil.
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Everyone knows Teddy is gay. He's out.
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Awesome job! I'm looking forward to more. And your ideas and writing are on point, you just needed some tweeks here and there (we all do, I've learned)
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Tease!!!! How can you set up a meeting with Rory and then leave us hanging like that??? lol
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OMG I like the bitch now.....Nicola has officially grown on me. Daniel is going to be difficult...will he insist on having his own room now??? What about when his friends that were making fun of Nathan find out...will he stand up to them for Robbie like he did for Nathan??? Great Job bud, I'm looking forward to more...soon lol
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Great Job Carlos.....I swear CJ could sell ice to an Eskimo...He can charm his way out of any situation.
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Jamie never would have been able to escape The Underground if he had lived. He would have ended up running it himself and would have become just as corrupt as Pitt was. In that lifestyle, once you're in that far, the only ways out are jail or death. It's sad, yes, but completely true.
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There was no other way to end this book. I can see that clearly. Jamie would have been left a broken soul or stuck in the Underground forever. The only other way it could have ended was Pitt dying and Jamie taking his place. If that had happened, he would have ended up worse than Pitt was. He would have justified everything he did in the name of protecting Eli. Neither would have ended up happy. Great job!!!
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so much for Team Kyle
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Mine! Part Two Chapter Twenty-two
JayT commented on Cia's story chapter in Mine! Part Two Chapter Twenty-two
here come the troops.....great job! see you next week -
For the past few chapters I've slowly been building a hatred towards Chris' mom....she redeemed herself this time around
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So, I'm totally binge reading these....started last night. You write very well; the only problem I see (aside from a few misused words), is your punctuation. There are a lot of resources on this site that can assist you in learning to use commas properly, how to properly punctuate using dialogue, and such. I think you could be very talented with these improvements. Oh yeah and I noticed these same mistakes throughout Velocity as well. Please don't take this as a negative review. I honestly want to help you improve
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not at all.....sometimes filler chapters are needed to segue into the next bit of action
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good job bud.....looking forward to more
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oh sounds like fun!
