Jeff Burton

Since we're sharing this is my current one. I've got quite a few that are tagged to memories that cause me pain in one form or another. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXvthgkZ2yQ&ab_channel=FailureBand

If anyone who reads this has never had to deal with a real narcissist. Count yourselves lucky. And I'm not talking about someone who just gaslights you all the time, I'm talking about the real hard core deal that uses those tendrils to remove your ability to resist. Those are the most soulless, the most dangerous. Those are the ones who spark fear years after the fact when things are finally good again. You might be able to be free of them physically, but you can never truly be free again.

Damn time for awkward brotherly bonding. A conversation would be good, no idea how either would take such a thing though.

I know lol, packing, moving, unpacking, fixing a roof, on top of normal work life is ugh. I’m gonna try to force some time in this week if possible I need the break from real life stuff.

It’s coming the last 2 chapters are a beast though I may have to add one more to the mix. The last week and a half have been busy.

You do that and I’m going to pop out of a mirror and ….

I may be mystical and all powerful sometimes but I doubt I can claim the guardians of the timelines as “tasty with sauce” lol.

Ahem 😂

Oh 303 is so tempting.

I’ve probably dropped more hints about my past in comments all over this site and it’s the most I’ve probably told anyone at this point, I just keep it to myself. A couple of people have gotten more in various DM’s for a multitude of reasons usually something they wrote that made me want to share but yeah, generally I’m pretty private with that stuff in the real world. Theres still some stuff I’m working on making peace with through writing and I’ve got more coming I’m just actually writing it first instead of just posting it some of it needs thought behind it.

Isn’t that the truth. I screwed up a bunch of stuff due to the ignorance of youth lol

I can tell ya because I speak from experience that it takes a while. I’ve been there and almost 30 years later there’s still shit I haven’t told my Celia although I’m working on having a conversation with her while I still can.

Jimmy had fallen into a domestic abuse trap that was so dangerous to survivors of Child Abuse. There are predators that are drawn to the vulnerable, and it ALWAYS starts with false kindness, slowly twisting into favours, and favours lead to manipulation, and manipulation to control… and once they have control you are handing your pay checks over to them, and watching your life micromanaged for you… Richard was a predator, and a fucking evil one. I think the above is why I’m still so fucked up. Over the last couple of years I’ve been reconnecting with an old school friend I’ve known forever, he knew me when I was eight, knew me when I was twelve, was there after my dad died when I was sixteen, and last saw me at eighteen when I fell off the deep end and disappeared. We were on the phone a month or so ago and I was finally telling him what happened that led me to move away from his house (I got kicked out, those lies you tell yourself are everywhere). He made a comment while we were talking that basically said “you’re different and not in a good way.” He was pointing out how reserved I am now, I’m not as expressive as I used to be, not the talking head that wouldn’t shut up about stuff I was passionate about. And I realized that I was beat into submission like that from my own Richard. That is still the story I can’t tell, and I still have physical scars on my body I lie about because of it. The only solace I have from that entire affair was that after praying every night that I wouldn’t wake up, God decided to take him instead of me, and I got to witness that he’d never hurt anyone ever again. I still feel like key points of my life were stolen from me to never return, and I have to accept that I was permanently changed from the experience.

This is definitely it. If she was actually smart she would see that her own hubris would be her real enemy.

Oof. That was a hard hit. That was one thing my dad didn’t do unless I actually did something that was worth it which was rare. Don’t get me wrong when I was 8 I was an unholy terror for a while and it was bad, and he resisted in corrective action until it couldn’t be ignored and yeah that definitely fixed my problem. But there was still someone else who did. When I was 3 my mom died and my dad had to go to rehab for a while so I was left in the care of my mom’s side. I can’t even remember his name but every time I did something that looked wrong I got hit. It seemed like he’d come home and I’d get hit just for that. I tried avoiding him like a feral cat but I was 3, then 4. How far could I go? Some people just got off on terrorizing the weak.

I’m just a guy slowly working his way to Saint hood 😂

So here’s a bit you didn’t know. When Topher was at the end of the last story, he asked me for advice on what to do, because I think his original plan was to let this one sleep for a little bit so he could flesh out some other projects (one of which is I believe Eastbourne/Ottowa Tales). I emphatically told him, write the first three to five chapters of this story first so that when he was ready to return to it there was enough there for him to get the feel easier. Now this book is already 20+ chapters in because he couldn’t stop after chapter five. So you’re welcome 😂. Those chapters stoked the fire and he hasn’t stopped yet, it’s probably the best advice for the benefit of others id ever given in my life. Enjoy this one guys, it’s even better than the first one.

This is one of those stories that ends up being the surprise you didn’t know you needed. This is a remarkable adventure through time that Hugo didn’t ask for, he meets Alec almost accidentally and pulls him into the adventure unwittingly and instead of each trying to return home, they begin to find home within each other. The plot feels fresh as it’s a take on an old sci-fi trope with its well thought out methods and the author has gone out of his way to tell it in a unique way that has you burning through Chapters like a fire starving for oxygen. This is a great read, and worth rereading time and again, as Hugo and Stoker make their mark on time itself.

Oh no I did a writing exercise with Stoker for fun and he ended up being pissed off because Hugo wasn’t there. No sorr, Mister Stoker doesn’t like visits of any kind.

Yeah I'm working on it as we speak I may have something in a couple of days if I don't trash this one like I did the last 3.

Oh God brochures is that what they're doing now? Back then it was uncomfortable silence plus a muttered "just don't" speech lol.

This posting schedule is eating me alive. But I shouldn't talk since I haven't updated the stuff that matters in a while lmao. Poor Joel and Trace is right, just tell Celia the truth, it's easier to live with even if there is a punishment involved for fighting.

I rarely drink myself, it caused me way too many problems when I was younger and thankfully I was able to kick it before it got me into legal trouble. I really just don't because I still have some rather powerful internal demons I manage to keep under control and when that mental strength fluctuates they do bad things. And I just don't want to wake up to their damage again.

Now that I'm done moving, let's see if I can get these last two chapters out so I can move on to the other stuff that desperately needs my attention.

I am Saintly. With a slight masochist streak.