rec

Over at awesomedude.com, there is a very enjoyable, rich story called Book Uncovered that is completed and should be entirely posted by Saturday. It's at http://awesomedude.com/bi_janus/book_uncovered/index.htm I may be biased, but I helped edit it.

I'd like to raise a flag about the use of a Thesaurus or the Word's version of it. The word should fit the meaning, not seem as if it came from a thesaurus like some internet search result. I think the writer should use the best word that he or she can find without using the thesaurus and then use the thesaurus to hone the sentence and perhaps find a better word. That is, get the meaning on the first go-around and then check the thesaurus to see if a different word makes the meaning clearer. Using the thesaurus just to find a different word can lead to worse writing if the word is inapt to the meaning desired.

What do you want to have happen?

http://www.towleroad.com/2012/06/dearabbeys.html#more

For those of you following this fine story, Marcus McNally has just posted a new chapter at http://www.nifty.org//nifty/gay/adult-friends/love-on-the-rocks/love-on-the-rocks-39

The author of Love on the Rocks has just sent me a notice that Chapter 38 -- I think the penultimate chapter -- will be posted in the Nifty May 14 update. The directory is at http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-friends/love-on-the-rocks/

Chapter 37 is now up at Nifty: http://www.nifty.org//nifty/gay/adult-friends/love-on-the-rocks/ There is the obligatory I-am-the-same-person-I-was-before-I-came-out statements, blessedly short, and a continuation of Mike's struggles. Well done, as usual.

I want to plug Cover and Book over at Awesome Dude for its fresh plot, the quality of its writing and some memorable characters. http://www.awesomedude.com/bi_janus/cover_and_book/index.htm I do need to disclose that I was one of its editors.

We were sitting on the first-base side, third row, so got a good look at the swing. It was close but I think the call was right. Besides, it was the home-plate umpire who called it -- that is, without asking the first-base umpire to make the call. which is the usual practice when such a swing is made. Not referring it to the first-base umpire indicates how sure he wasl. The call was close but I think correct from my vantage view.

So, I'm sitting in the Safeco Field stands with my scorebook, looking at seven innings of perfect pitching with Chicago holding a 3-run lead. At what point does one switch sides and root for the no-hitter/perfect game? I began rooting for Humber in the bottom of the eighth and was really onboard in the bottom of the ninth. I must praise the Seattle fans who were on their feet rooting for Humber for the last out. Would the same thing happen in Fenway Park or Yankee Stadium?

If your team must lose, may it always be this pleasant: 70 degree (21C) weather, sunshine, light breeze, good friends and the opposing pitcher throwing a perfect game, the 21st in over 100 years of baseball history. For those unfamiliar with baseball, a perfect game is one in which no player -- Seattle Mariner, in this case -- gets a hit or a walk; no player reaches first base. Chicago White Sox pitcher Phil Humber humbled the Mariners.

I really encourage suggestions such as 'my man'? But I think we should allow frankness in our thoughts on them. I find 'my man' or 'my woman' connotes too much ownership or control over the other person. It seems to me that the issue is describing one person in "our relationship," in which 'my man' takes too much out of it. That is, consider the difference between someone who indicates their partner/spouse as 'my better half', which shows a lot of respect, versus 'my man' or 'my woman' in which there is an absence of respect. Just my thoughts

As a writer and editor, I'm always frustrated by the absence of an English word for the person in a long-term, loving relationship with another: Boyfriend, to me, has an expiration date at a young age and borders on not being a serious long-term commitment. I know that the term, say, a 52-year-old boyfriend, is commonly used, but a 52-year-old is not a boy. Lover makes the relationship too sexual in nature. Partner reflects the physical, institutional and intellectual commitments but is too easily confused with business partner, especially from the outside. Husband in a male/male relationship reflects the emotional and legal commitments (where they are available) but, to me, seems an awkward term, though better than most. Spouse is a term I don't much like whether reflecting a male/female, male/male or female/female relationship. It sounds much better in French and other romance languages in which the gender is part of the word: epouse/epoux in French (minus the accent over the e). I used epoux in my novella Jake's Side. Mate is too casual, usually reflecting a close friend. If there was a word that could be used commonly, what would it be? My proposal is lifemate, which drives the spell checkers nuts, but which expresses the type of commitment two serious people make to each other.

A new and powerful chapter was posted yesterday at http://www.nifty.org//nifty/gay/adult-friends/love-on-the-rocks/

C.S. Lewis apparently was generous in responding to those who wrote him, especially a young Florida girl. His advice to her on writing is resonant. What really matters is:– 1. Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. 2. Always prefer the plain direct word to the long, vague one. Don't implement promises, but keep them. 3. Never use abstract nouns when concrete ones will do. If you mean "More people died" don't say "Mortality rose." 4. In writing. Don't use adjectives which merely tell us how you want us to feel about the thing you are describing. I mean, instead of telling us a thing was "terrible," describe it so that we'll be terrified. Don't say it was "delightful"; make us say "delightful" when we've read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers, "Please will you do my job for me." 5. Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

I am a large fan of Love on the Rocks http://www.nifty.org//nifty/gay/adult-friends/love-on-the-rocks/ by Marcus McNally, now in chapter 35 and seemingly highly likely to finish. It is very well written, and the characters are finely drawn. To me the test is whether they bridge the intervals between chapters -- and they succeed nicely. Some others I recommended the story to were put off in early chapters by some heavy sex that could have been toned down, but when they came back to the story, they were as appreciative of it as I have been. [some first-time Nifty writers think there needs to be explicit sex in every chapter; fortunately Marcus McNally has blessedly moved on into a rich and fascinating story.] This story is among the top of my current recommendation list.

If you want to edit, I suggest that you ask those seeking editors to send you a chapter or two (through the PM feature or through an alternated mailbox) to see if the raw material is close enough to where you can help. If you are just looking for well-edited stories, click on the GA Stories/Stories/title to find a story and then look to see who edited it. Then, follow that editor, and usually a good editor will seek good writers.

The Horatio Nimier series Two Distinct Divisions are well done mysteries and can be found through BestofNifty.org. Also, the Josh Lanyon detective series with the Adrian English character, available in book form inexpensively from Kindle, are quite good. You can get a Kindle app for your PC (or Mac?) if you don't own a Kindle.

Look at the first response in the Admin section regarding vanishing story. You're not alone.

I'm probably too much of a punctuation snob, but the grammar loop examples contain two comma errors -- on because and until. It should read "He got wet because..." with no comma, because the because clause is dependent, not independent. Likewise with until. It should read "umbrella until" sans comma. When the clauses are placed in front of the main sentence, the commas remain.

The film Sugar -- the one with Brendan Fehr and the late Andre Noble -- is very well done. Gritty.

I just finished Now Is the Hour by Tom Spanbauer -- not electonically available, unfortunately, but cheap new and used at Amazon. This is a superb novel about Rigby John Klusener's coming of age and realizing his sexuality in the 60s in Pocatello, Idaho. Full of wonderful, well-drawn characters. Probably the best gay-themed novels that I have read and reminiscent of Catcher in the Rye.

What type do you like/dislike? The http://bestofnifty.org has a large list of good stories.

There are some overlaps with GA, but the stories at CRVBOY.org are usually quite fine.

I'm a bit confused about the sequence of writing/editing/beta'ing here. First, I don't think the author's first draft should go through the beta process, let alone the editing process. With some of my authors that I edit for, I don't see a draft until the 6th, 7th or higher draft. Second, I think there should be an "alpha" review in which the author asks the question of the reviewer: is this at all a promising story? Once that level of review is done and, if necessary, a new draft written, it's time for the beta review. Third, the beta review should look for plot line, inconsistencies, major holes, etc. -- the larger problems that a story might have. After the beta review, the author should go back and be ready to produce another draft -- with perhaps another cycle of beta reviewers. Fourth, the new draft is made available to the editor. As an editor, I find nothing more annoying than working hard on a work that doesn't survive the next round, so beta reviewing should be virtually complete before editing begins. Of course, the editor may find some further stuctural problems that need to be pointed out and fixed. Fifth, I would recommend that the author seek a final editing process. In particular, edits sought in the previous step may require significant changes in writing -- the structure and plot lines should be fairly solid -- and in making those changes, the author can introduce new editing errors. The final editing should be thorough but should not be used to suggest major changes to the manuscript. The notion of editing and final editing comes from my experience on a newspaper copy desk. The city, sports, and features desks will have already worked on the copy of the reporters before sending it to the copy desk. The copy editor's role is to do a final polishing of the story. I remember once rewriting the first paragraph of a features-desk piece that was truly awful. The head of the copy desk caught hell from the features desk, which had caught hell from the prima donna reporter, but he was mild on me because I think he agreed with my changes. In fact, the reporter was more careful in his future work, so I felt vindicated. The point is that the final editor is not there to make major changes except in extreme circumstances. If the author doesn't follow an orderly sequence, I think the editors, beta readers and the author will be stumbling over each other and possibly making for an unpleasant writing effort.