Razor

Angel by Sarah McLachlan Also trying to tune out Freebird cause my roommate has a habit of playing the same song on guitar hero over and over again until he gets it perfect... and if you can play Freebird enough times for me to get sick of it, then damn.

Hmm... I'm gonna go with... the people who are honest and straightforward in their dealings with me, since they are so few and far between. Oh, and bad puns. God I love bad puns.

....no, I don't have a level 70 shadow priest, level 65 demon lock, 41 affliction lock, and 36 fury warrior.... SHUT UP! I've been playing a really long time now and it's not like I even play that much anyway! All my toons that I actually play are either on Kael'Thas or Malfurion. ~sigh~ Yeah I'm addicted, but every now and then I just get a craving for something completely mindless, fun, and full of things for me to kill. It's good stress relief.

The entire time I was writing When I Fall Asleep I was listening to the song We Are So Last Year, by Hawthorne Heights (on the album If Only You Were Lonely). Some lines are bolded cause they were what I was especially concentrating on when I was forming the idea for the story and writing it. We're falling faster This is the last year Just a few more hours Until we are all alone This never happens Changing with fashion Just a few more hours Until we are unknown I wish I could have known you better I should blame it on the weather This was over from the start Does it even matter? Our situation's getting worse Sleep in Sleep well With this life We're set to fail I just wanted you to know I think about you every night When I fall asleep You are in my dreams Just like in a movie the one you want to see with a happy ending This dead letter written on black paper It never found her eyes Instead of love She only saw dollar signs Sleep in Sleep well With this life We're set to fail I just wanted you to know I think about you every night When I fall asleep You are in my dreams Just like in a movie the one you wanna see With a happy ending With this life We are set to fail I just wanted you to know I think about you every night When I fall asleep I just wanted you to know I think about you every night When I fall asleep You are in my dreams Just like in a movie The one you want to see With a happy ending

Kevin, you have a point but I sort of have to disagree even from a biological perspective. It's weird, but to me there's just this kind of odd acceptance of death and suffering as a sad fact. I don't like it, and I would prefer us all to be happy little autotrophs, but that's not the way it is and I can't change that so I kind of think of it this way... herbivores evolved to take advantage of the autotrophic organisms, utilizing the chemical energy they produced in a different process (photosynthesis is damn near the exact reverse of cellular respiration, so it's crazy similar, just fyi). After that, carnivores evolved to take advantage of the chemical energy stored in herbivores, probably because of serious competition among herbivores for food or something. So really, any sentient being, anything we commonly think of as "alive", is just a different form of life, and I kinda have a weird thing where I wonder if we really merit anymore consideration in the grand scheme of things. ANYWAY... that was a big digression. Kevvers, here's the deal. If we produced food in the way you're wanting, not only would Americans have issues affording it, there would be worldwide famine. Take chicken for instance cause that's definitely the best example. First, they stick them in very small spaces. That should be obvious why they do that; less space means you can pack in more chickens and make more product with less facility. Second, they pump them so full of growth hormones that scientists are starting to wonder if that's why girls are starting their periods earlier on average. Why? They grow way faster. Like three times faster... lol. You can make waaaay more food waaaay faster this way. Third, they pump them full of antibiotics. Why? To keep them alive. In conditions like that, disease would spread rampantly and destroy the entire population if left unchecked. Fourth, they nip off the end of their beaks. Why? To keep them from killing other chickens. That's not mean, that's standard practice. If they wanted to do it in a really really really sweet way, then they could consider putting blinders on each and every chicken, and that would be less effective, more time consuming, and more costly Ya see where I'm going with this? These aren't nice things, but they're necessary evils to provide the amount of food at the price to which we are accustomed. Not all animals are treated that way, but you'll pay more for the ones who aren't, and they're not as easily available since obviously there's not as much demand for them. Given all of that, it doesn't make much sense to rail against it without offering a viable solution, hence my hydrolyzed soy protein (beef, haha, get it?.....nvm) with the vegheads.

.... well, out of the couple of relationships I've had that have actually been made, um, I guess official boyfriend-boyfriend status-ified.... One very strong... well... he wasn't a boyfriend, but a very serious potential prospect who I was EXTREMELY interested in. We're still tight friends, and I love him very much. No you can't have his name, lol, just know that for me to say that if he were to suddenly have a change of heart and I were suddenly to be living where he was and things were just a weeeeee bit different... I'd marry him in a heartbeat. As it is, he'd be happier with somebody else and so would I. Zach lasted a solid week, maybe a bit longer. Rick lasted about a week. Peter lasted about... well, if you count the official relationship part, then only about two days. Don't quote me on that though because it's been a while and I don't write these things down. Can I include Jonathan here? No, he was never my boyfriend, but he was very well endowed, more fun to talk to and nicer than any of my boyfriends, and he also has kissed the best out of any boy I've ever played tonsil hockey with. I've done my fair share of tonsil hockey playing. (for future reference for those of you who may kiss me: don't like bird lips, don't tense your lips before they touch mine, don't immediately stick in your tongue, give me a good few seconds of lip before you do slip in the tongue, and always keep your tongue from touching anything past the bicuspids... hell I'll give you the first molar if it's just CRAZY, but that better not happen often) Also, since I'm already cheating by including him, I'm making this one only include the two minutes we made out in the bathroom. Yeah I have really bad luck with relationships, hehe. It's okay though. I've kinda decided that with a lot of these things it's just not something that can be forced that way, and if we split there was probably a good reason. These reasons vary of course, but hehehe... let me list them just to make myself feel good. Zach is a DOOFUS. Rick is a JACKASS. Peter is a DOUCHEBAG. Okay so those aren't really the exact reasons, but believe me, they're close. The only one of these I'm still friends with is Zach, and that's more of an acquaintance. I sit beside him in history, but I have issues being friends with people like him. Don't think I'm being mean, because I'm NOT, and it's NOT actually a bad thing exactly, but he has a weird attitude and he acts in ways that I don't approve of... I can handle a lot, but he pushed me past my limit. I'ma get away from this thread. It's making me angry.

These people have been putting emphasis on showing people how graphic factory farming can be. They keep these animals in very confined spaces, and do some other less than nice things, but the reason they do this is in order to reduce costs and maximize efficiency; otherwise our food would cost a LOT more. I lived on a quail farm for a long time when I was a kid. We owned one, and I helped out with it a good many times. Sorry, but when someone wanted quail cleaned and dressed... well... if you hadn't ever seen it before, you might freak out a little. Basically what happens is... 1.) Quail/pheasants are kept (at least on our farm) in a flight pen, meaning that while they are pretty crowded, the ceiling of the pen is high enough for them to fly. The reason for that is because a lot of people buy them to hunt them; it's not fun hunting quail that can't fly. 2.) We go in with nets and catch however many we need. 3.) You take one of those really heavy duty pairs of kitchen shears, and then cut the quail/pheasant's head off in one quick motion. Sounds awful, I know, but it's by far the most humane and fast way to kill them. And yes, they do freak out when you do this, so yet again, if you've never done it before, then you'd freak probably. 4.) Immediately after the head comes off, you toss 'em into a big steaming vat of water. They make special containers that keep the water heated. This helps to loosen the feathers. 5.) Ya pluck 'em. Hehe, yeah, but nowadays they make those machines that have like a bunch of rubber fingers that spin nice and quick, and you just let those yank all the feathers for you. 6.) You clean them. This means removing organs/feet/etc. 7.) You now have a quite tasty little birdy. See, the thing is, you're going to be killing the animal... so I don't really see how you can call the practice of maximizing efficiency, minimizing cost, and making the whole process as easy and fast as possible "cruel". You could maybe even go so far as gruesome, but not really cruel. Btw, any of you who haven't had quail, you should try it sometime. I don't like pheasants, they have a gamey and kinda weird taste, but bobwhite quail are REALLY good.

Well if I'm telling someone that they forgot the milk or something short like that, then yeah, texting is easier and faster. Nine times out of ten, though, I'll call. I usually text only when I'm busy with something else, or just goofing around.

Does all of this propaganda dealing with treatment of animals meant to be consumed as food seem a little silly to anyone else? Okay okay okay, I promise, I'm not heartless or anything, but even I have to see the practicality here as opposed to the "aw it's a fuzzy wittle amuhnal, I wanna keeps it!". You are eating them. EATING. That means you are munching on these animals. Given the fact that you are already intending for them to be FOOD, is anything else you do to them in the process really all that terrible? Now, blatant mistreatment of animals is wrong. But it's not like these people who produce our food are just beating and hurting and torturing these animals with no logical purpose in what they do. They're making our food, that's all. Would it really make it any better if you'd kept the animals as pets before you ate them? Um, no, so why make such a big deal of it? Hey, I'll admit that they could probably be a bit nicer to the animals. Then we would all pay more for them, though, and I just don't see the point of making these animals damn near into pets before you send them off to the slaughterhouse. Oh, and I'm not giving up my hamburgers and fried chicken, so you won't persuade me to be a veg-head, haha. Tell me what you guys think.

MY BIGGEST SECRET!!!! WHO TOLD YOU?!?!?! I do that a lot... hit my play button on the laptop while writing a post and for some reason it submits it when I do that. ~shrug~ And damn those buttons. ~hides from them~

OKAY! So, first off, you must know how my brain works. I do not think of one thing at a time. At all times, there are several lines of thought happening in my head. There's my internal MP3 player (I think of a song and it plays in my head), there's what I'm doing at that moment, and there's always at least one issue being mulled over. These have the potential to spawn side-thoughts, contributing to the really complicated network of things going on in my head at all times. Thus, when someone asks me to explain something or if they ask me what I'm thinking and I'm like "don't worry about it", then it's usually because it would take me forever to explain all the random thoughts that contributed. Second, I've got classic generalized anxiety. I worry about anything and everything. Then, I worry about the fact that I'm worrying, and then I worry about whether or not that's healthy, and then I worry that I'm just making myself worse by worrying, and then I worry about the fact that that's an insane loop of circular logic. I have TONS of irrational fears. Let's list some! 1.) My jeans look funny. This one sounds dumb, but you have to realize that I'm short, and they don't make jeans for short people, so the cut of some means that they bunch at the bottom, and then I obsess over the way they look, and if they don't feel like they're sitting just right over my shoes it drives me nuts, and I've been known to change jeans three times a day when that particular one annoys me. 2.) Someone has a low opinion of me. Unless I can clearly see that a person admires/approves/is generally positive toward me, it drives me insane. 3.) Let's just go ahead and toss in a big bundle of "someone is looking at me and I look weird" fears. They're like the jeans thing, only they're all highly developed like the jeans thing, haha. For instance, there's the one about my fingernails, which I bite out of habit, and hate when people look at my hands. Or the one about my teeth, or my eyebrows, or the way I will NOT take off my shirt unless I am assured that no one will see me, until I am extraordinarily comfortable around that person. It's complicated, but I told you these things are highly developed. 4.) Fear of stagnation. I have an urgent need to be making constant progress. If I'm not making progress, it not only feels like I'm staying still, it feels like I'm falling back. 5.) Fear of abnormality. I think or do something, and then I worry about whether or not my actions were normal. Awww, hell, I can keep going. Point is, yeah, I'm a freak, hehe, but it's fun! I mean, I have a lot of things that bother me and worry me, but I deal. Pretty much all of my major fears are irrational. Oh, and I hate driving. Can't stand driving, I don't know why it bothers me so much exactly, but it's quite unnerving unless I know exactly where I'm going and have driven there before. Umm... I have the fear that I'm getting stupider, haha. Sometimes I feel like a complete idiot compared to how intelligent I used to feel, so that's a relatively new one. Meh, anyway, all of my irrational fears aren't that bad I think. I've learned how to deal with the anxiety issues, and generally it's just about finding a methodical and practical way of coping with the things that bother me. I ask a friend if my jeans look right, or if something I did that I'm worrying about was appropriate, etc. That way, I'm forming more connections with a person, helping to keep my anxiety to a minimum, and usually giving them a good giggle or two along the way. I don't know how I manage it, but sometimes when I get to explaining these sorts of things to a friend it gets really hilarious. So I guess my main method of coping is replacing anxiety with reinforcement from friends/family. Works for me, anyway. But see then, there's the big one about making sure that people think what I want them to think about me, and that's a tricky one, so I gotta be careful about coping with that one... like how this post is sorta contradictory to the way I think I want people to think of me, because I want to come off as confident and intelligent, but I feel like a goofy whacko inside, so I just have to settle for being genuine a lot of the time instead of attempting to play people. I think they usually end up helping you a lot more that way, anyway. And now I'm ranting.... so bye!

I think that some of the points being discussed here are irrelevant. Graeme pointed out that piracy and fraud are two totally different things. If I were a published author and someone downloaded an illegal copy of my book in ebook form, it would peeve me a bit. Y'know, a few bucks I lost and all. Fraud would make me sink my teeth in and rip out their spleen, big difference there. As for this talk about regulating websites, don't even think about it. The moment any politician tries touching that, they're gonna draw back a bloody stump. The crusade to censor the Internet has yet to work, and I don't think that one will get any further. Besides, peer to peer sharing kind of dodges that anyway. I also definitely agree with Hylas, and Graeme for that matter. Industrialized countries don't realize that the prices they demand are far too high in other countries. Also, like Graeme said, the price is just higher than the customers are usually willing to pay. One song is one dollar, yeah yeah yeah. That adds up REALLY fast, and some people are just not willing to fork over that kind of money, especially when the artist in question is exorbitantly wealthy. That said, if I was a fan of a smaller or local band, I would be much more likely to support them. Finally, I think it's sort of silly to expect that you can own ideas, so this ends up being a really good justifier for piracy... let me elaborate, lol. When you get a job, what do you provide? Well, you can offer goods or services in return. If you're hungry, you buy food. If you want a house, you buy it. If you want to make money then you get a job and do something or make something. With that in mind, what is a song (or a book for that matter)? Is it a service? Not exactly, nobody's actually doing anything for you directly (though if you were going to argue in opposition then you could definitely make a case for it). Is it a good then? Nah, not really, it's not tangible. If you had an eidetic memory and read a book, have you stolen the book? No, you haven't, but it's almost like you recorded it... CD's, concert tickets, t-shirts, books... those are all tangible, but they are tangible representations of an idea, something immaterial. I don't really think you CAN steal an idea exactly. CD's and tickets and whatever else, yeah, you can steal those. Then again, I'm all for the idea of the free exchange of ideas. And don't be confused, exchange of ideas is fine with me, but theft of ideas is not (like plagiarism).

This is an area that changes from person to person, since when writing we have two serious things to deal with in selecting our words. Denotation and connotation, darlings. Denotation is (at least for the most part) solid and static. Connotation is what you'll have problems with in erotic reading, which is actually one of the biggest reasons I avoid writing about explicit sex. Sex is so personal and deeply held within each person that attempting to pen a master key of a tale to work for everyone is going to be impossible, and even getting it right for a lot of people is somewhat difficult. I would prefer to leave as much to the imagination as possible. Erotic is not the same as pornographic, and one of the most erotic things that a writer can do is use these types of situations and words very, very sparingly so as to keep the maximum amount of tension going with the least necessary reward; it makes for a much more enjoyable, suspenseful read. At least I think so, anyway.

I'm sorry, but if the people weren't so moneygrubbing to begin with, the world would be more hesitant to break copyright law. As it is, this is simply the inevitable backlash of greed. And sorry again, but quite frankly it doesn't really register on my give-a-sh... I mean.... sympathy-meter. Welcome to life with the rest of the world.

~snuggles mah Krista~ Yay!

Drawing Blood, by Poppy Z. Brite I've been wanting to read that one for a loooooong time now, and it's great so far. I'm also reading the fourth book in the Wheel of Time series, The Shadow Rising.

That sums up my feelings quite nicely. And thank you Kevvers.

Shut Up, by Cascada.

Happy birthday Nick.

Well the thing about this is that it shouldn't really be an issue other than charging parents with negligence for leaving a gun in a place where it's available to a minor. I don't agree with gun control, and I think that it's a provided right for a reason. If you look at history, that's one of the major steps in taking complete control of a state; disarming them. Yeah sounds paranoid, but that's what they thought, too. It's also a really screwy way of shirking responsibility off of the people who were involved and onto an inanimate object so nobody has to feel guilty about it.

I definitely want kids, no question. I'm going to adopt. I think I'd be a good father, and I know I'd love my kids, and I really want a family some day. So yeah, I don't know exactly at what point I'll decide to have them, but it will probably be for a long while yet. I'd wanna be in a stable relationship and financially established before I adopt.

I have wireless dial up. Haha, you ask how this is possible? Well, technically it is not wireless dial up, but.... I pay 65 dollars per semester for wireless internet on campus. It is terrible. I have no clue why, but it is soooooo weird. At one moment, I'll have 1.5 MBps, a download clipping along so fast it's insane. Then the next second it will be at 1.2 KBps. I am not even joking about that, lol. Sometimes it just refuses to let me have internet at all. My personal theory? The network they have set up is overloaded to the max, and they're too cheap to fix it. ~shrug~ It's better than nothing, but it's definitely annoying at times.

Wait wait wait... you're saying that won't happen? Straight guys are so weiiiiiird... okay, I'm making it my own personal mission to find at least ONE straight boy I like. I shall seek one out who I can tolerate and even enjoy as a friend! I have a sneaky suspicion that this will take a long, long time, though.

Mmmmm, twincest. Yummy.

~dances into thread~ HELLO! Ahem, I was born in Covington, Louisiana and I've lived in Columbia, Mississippi all of my life until my senior year of highschool. That year, we moved to Saltillo, and then to Guntown, both suburbs (sorta) of Tupelo. I currently reside in Hattiesburg, which is the only oasis of normalcy in all of Mississippi. The presence of a serious, highly regarded university makes the town liveable. Actually, I find more and more often that I REALLY like it here. I can kiss a boy and nobody freaks. I held hands with a boy not too long ago, walking all around campus and down Hardy street, and no one looked twice. I made out (shamelessly, I admit, but hey, he was really sweet and really hot and we were dating... at least we started dating after that, haha) with that boy and NO ONE cared. It was delightfully happy. Of course, then I realized that we were making out in front of the theater building so I don't think that one really counts. ANYWAY, yes, MS is the Bible Belt. It blows to be in a small town anywhere within that region. However, I will say some things... In Columbia, I came out in my junior year. I had a great time from that point on, knowing that it wasn't really a big deal and even teachers were supportive. Now.... Then I moved to Tupelo. That place is HELL and I will never, ever recommend that anyone live there. I have never had the problems I had there. The sheer amount of methamphetamine and cocaine abusers was enough to scare me. Everyone there is so racist it's scary. I think I counted less than fifteen or so black people at Saltillo High, which had about 500ish students. I've never heard the N-bomb dropped so many times in my life. I got a good many funny looks, especially since I waltzed in the first day with blue hair and black nails. From that point on, though, I just didn't really care. Eventually I just faded into the background and rode out the year. Was called a fag a few times, but considering the people who said it, it was more of a compliment than an insult coming from them. Somehow that word loses its sting when the person using it is obviously a product of inbreeding trailer trash with half (literally) your own IQ. Hattiesburg is the best place, but this is a full spectrum of experience here. Hattiesburg is the most liberal, Columbia is in the middle, and Tupelo is deep in redneck freakazoid from hell territory. If you happen to be at the way, way, way, WAY freaky end, stay deep in the closet until you leave. It's just not worth the risk to your own personal safety (considering the fact that I was very serious about letting people know that I carried far more than just one sharp object and that if they hit me, they better do it hard and without me seeing them coming). If you live in the middle of the spectrum, I say it's better to come out, just for the peace of mind. Keep yourself safe above all else. If you really think you may run into physical harm, just keep low. Otherwise... f**K everybody and their opinions and be yourself.