Arran

I would add that a person is able to think in the language other than their own instead of translating from one to the other, then retranslating back again. I definitely agree with knowing the culture, which never occurred to me until you said it.

Your changes improve the dialog, Talo. I can follow it better now.

While I reviewed most of the author’s drafts, I hadn’t read chapters 9-11 until now as the rest of the readers had. I really enjoyed Hustle. It is an adventure with casual references to sexual situations so they don’t overshadow the story’s mainline: two brothers running to escape abuse, only to find more abuse. Older brother Clinton has a plan, though as he always does, and it eventually works out for them.

You tied it up rather well, Talo. I, too, am surprised there weren’t more comments about Hustle. I thought it was going to be a double cross, but Clinton was working with the law instead. Good for him. Why the sudden reappearance of Melissa, though? I should add, though, that I found the dialog confusing between Clinton and Bennie at the beginning of the chapter because I had difficulty trying to ascertain which boy was doing the talking. The references were vague. Otherwise, good work, Talo. Thanks.

Good chapter, Talo. Things are moving quickly. I don’t remember Melissa. Hector Agaze and Eduardo to meet in Miami? I expected that to happen in Venezuela. Things don’t sound good for the boys. Clinton going back to Venezuela And Morgan and Javier in a precarious situation. I’m looking forward to the next chapter to see how you tie things up.

Another good chapter, Talo. Since the plan hasn’t been explained, I guess we’ll have to read on to follow it. I’m thinking that Clinton is running out on Eduardo. We’ll find out for sure in the next chapter. And if Morgan makes it back on the ship, what happens to Javier?

Good one 😉.

Good chapter, Talo. I am looking forward to the next chapter because I have no idea what happens next. Maybe Clinton knows and maybe he doesn’t. And how is Gregoire tied up in this? I suspect that something will go awry when Hector Abrigo and Eduardo face off and, unfortunately, the boys will be in the middle of it. Anyone else with ideas?

Clinton feels like he is trapped in a box and it is shrinking. His inability to trust Javier is understandable. Everyone seems to let him down except Morgan. If he loses control, they both suffer. Morgan? He just goes with the flow, but I think he is becoming more disgruntled and less sure of his brother. I think Javier is trustworthy, but he is just a boy with limited experience. I can’t help wondering where he gets his money, though. Maybe he hustles for it since it is the title of the story. Another good chapter, Talo, and an interesting story. Thanks.

Clinton sounds hopeless, questioning whether he has made his brother’s life worse. He feels a loss of control because he doesn’t have the freedom that he had in his own country, he doesn’t understand the language and he has no prospects for a solution to the problem but put his lot with a questionable man who apparently had him sexually abuse his brother for the man’s entertainment. I think I would feel a sense of hopelessness too. Good chapter, Talo; however, there were places in the early dialogue between Clinton and Morgan that I couldn’t follow who was speaking.

“The place was incredibly clean and not at all how Morgan had imagined South America would be like, but then he hardly had a clue as to where exactly Venezuela sat on the southern end of the continent.” I don’t know if this was meant to show Morgan’s confusion about the location of Venezuela on the South American continent or it was a mistake, but it is on the northern end bordering the Caribbean Ocean. Another good chapter, Talo, and a good story. I found where Morgan indicates that he is fifteen.

I’m beginning to see a different side of Jonah: jealousy. TheIr age difference is beginning to show its face. Not really a cliffhanger, but…

Not a bad guess then 🎃. Actually, because of Morgan’s response to his age, I expected you to deflect the question, not wanting to give their ages for some reason. You didn’t though. Thanks for the response.

Another good chapter, Talo. You have never given the brothers’ ages. When asked in this chapter, Morgan just replied that he is asked that a lot. I‘m guessing that Clinton was 12 and Morgan 8 or 9 in the first two chapters. Five years later makes them 17 and 13 or 14, respectively.

How will Javier relate to Clinton and Morgan? Good chapter, Talo. It’s a terrible shame that a boy has to earn money to keep his mother alive that way. Or his sister for that matter.