Dan South

The imagery you’ve created in this chapter is amazing.

I’m wondering if one of the requirements of this contest is ‘must make the reader weep’. 2/2 it’s happened. There was just enough foreshadowing, or perhaps foreboding, that the outcome seemed likely, inevitable even. That, in no way, detracts from the beauty of this. I have an idea, a feeling, about Secret Author 1 but I’m clueless as to who has taken us to this seaside village. I can’t wait to read more if, and when, secrets are revealed.

Powerful beauty in this tragedy. Thank you for sharing this. Will you reveal your secret?

What a well-placed cliffhanger. How annoying. 😂

Why now? What is causing this awakening? So many questions to answer and we get a cliffhanger 😂

Though prone to, I don’t think Kavan overreacted to what is essentially a banishment. Sending the sword back might have been a tad over-the-top ‘F You’ but he certainly made his feelings known. I cannot see any good coming from Gideon’s visit. Then again, the drama is likely to be far better than good. CTI: 2

I think I counted 22 sovereign nations mentioned? Don’t get hung up on my choice of “sovereign”… If this is end-of-the world prophecy, do hurry along. Not sure how much time you have …

If the succession plan is generational then where is baby Annie? Love the budding romance blooming out a bit more.

I came here to say this. It’s long overdue especially Bryan is antagonizing his sperm donor.

“No more horny Albert.” Delightful he’s over his triple roll with MDMA and I’m going too choose that’s all he’s saying here: ‘I feel better today. 🤞🏼continued patient for Damien.

“…deez nuts”😂. Pro has anger issues to spare and share 😂

I’d wait for you anytime but @Demiurge is at war and pressing forward. Heard you coming though ❤️@Mattyboy. Found the way here on a binge myself. Not this novel tho. Demiurge has great complete works shared. I’m all fanboy about Demiurge…all. Glad and smiling that you’re caught up. We’ll have stuff to talk about without a doubt.

Hmm…

Mate? I have no idea how else to address you since your initials are synonymous with Laurel (campus) of Jones (County) Junior College and that’s in Mississippi and, well, that’s in Mississippi…and, no one wants that… I’ve left it behind… Thats a generational thing, leaving, and apropos, yeah. 400+ years…lotta leaving… Fact checked you for the facts. Tree, etc. Eternal. What a pain… What a pain? What’s the pain? Surviving. Hello from the US of A. I read all of your words, in my head, with a British accent. Don’t disabuse me of that notion unless I’m enormously wrong, please. As a speech and language person I don’t think English is your first language, eh? Albert made me do it. Read your words that way. Damien reinforced it. ❤️ Gentlemen in their own right, each. Big fan if you haven’t noticed. This is insane and insanely good. Maybe you’ll edit more of these randoms you’ve already told me exist? Did he make it to New York? This romp is so much fun. Your first person is incredibly entertaining and if it’s a struggle it doesn’t show. You’re so talented. Shrug that off and carry on. How this wasn’t lauded comes down to how delightfully complicated it is. If it’s just you and me chatting after 238 views I think that’ll have to be enough, yeah? Great read. Crazy great read. No response expected. Cool? Your fan, Dan

That entire conversation about the cost of the resorts was so gauche and highly entertaining. Albert is going to be rolling for hours! I snorted at the J-LO line. 😂

“…like a Japanese businessman offering his card” created a perfect visual since that it such a specific act done in such a specific manner.

Flew too close to the sun…

Welcome friend!

Easily missed and rightfully cited

I’m not convinced this is fiction. Who needs to wash which bits tomorrow? Glad to wonder about that Phill. Well done

I should have commented on this the first time I read it. Crazy hot, opportunistic, believable. Had to read back to remember why I followed. Fun fun read. Thank you Phill. Chapter 4? Chapter 4!

He burned himself?

Forsaken…💔

Not Chokmah??

The meta tho … 😂