SilentandBroken

The way Coach made eye contact with Andy as he was leaving kinda made wonder if he was gay too given the statement he made about how hot Zander was.

im not crying you’re crying

Ok. This was a huge chapter for both boys. It brought them much closer together as a couple and now we’ll really see the sparks fly between them in a good way. Zander was able to achieve what he dreamed of with his physical closeness Andy. Andy learned that same dream could actually come true. Andy is learning to trust in the truest sense of the word and learning little by little not to hate on himself so much. Great work.

As for Greg, totally immature behavior but given he got caught already proving he doesn’t make the greatest decisions, I’m not at all shocked. I think, if I’m Andy, I’m not mad at Zander either for sharing a little more of my story without my consent to the one person who had absolutely the most right to ask. My first thought to Coach’s question if Zander was gay, was does it matter? Anyone can say anything on the internet so it must be true right? As for the rest of Zander’s family, a mixed bag of reactions but a equal amount of affirmation which is what is most needed.

Yes and was wonderful

That I did 😂

I think I like Nonna. 😂

He called her mom. That did it for me.

First of all…Bravo to Garrett to get Andy an attaboy and get his permit after his legal name change. With a photo ID it will really begin to feel REAL to Andy and that, that will do sooo much for him. Secondly, the conversation between Garrett and Andy was JUST as building as the conversation between Andy and Monica. I doubt it’ll be long Andy will be calling him Dad for real too. The title for the chapter was absolutely appropriate. Many parallels here. I think that the previously mentioned steps in another comment highlighted a lot of “Departures” if you will. The name change, the permit, the building of relationships of both parents independently of each other with Andy & with Kaz as well and lastly, even Zander (absence makes the heart grow fonder after all) all are separating Andy from the life he lived and only new before. It is beautiful and charming and challenging all at once. Oh and one final comment with that steamy convo between the boys…it was

There’s a contemporary Christian song whose lyrics I find very applicable to this story, and because I think the Church is represented in this story in a positive light, I feel safe sharing it. I’m not pushing the Gospel with this, I’m simply pushing the message that there is healing possible to anyone who’s willing to stop running and tear down their walls. If it’s against the rules I apologize and won’t be offended if it’s pulled. Anyway, here it is:

It was relationship building for both of them, bringing them closer too. I think in time Andy might be able to call Monica Mom..maybe hopefully

Oops double posted 🤷🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

Ok the bedroom scene.. bravo. This whole chapter is the best written one yet. bravo to Andy for tearing down another barrier. Bravo to Zander for knowing instinctively what to do. The tracing and kissing of scars and the reaffirmation he gave Andy is precisely what he needed. I know I would’ve lost it and balled my eyes out if I were Andy, curled into a fetal position. Excellent chapter.

Ok the bedroom scene.. bravo. This whole chapter is the best written one yet. bravo to Andy for tearing down another barrier. Bravo to Zander for knowing instinctively what to do. The tracing and kissing of scars and the reaffirmation he gave Andy is precisely what he needed. I know I would’ve lost it and balled my eyes out if I were Andy, curled into a fetal position. Excellent chapter.

Ok commenting now after the rape admission with the Doc..because…whew this is hard still..because the way you’ve written that part is so accurate. I’m waiting for him to be put through EMDR therapy like I had ..well he’s kinda had the discussion part but not the wiping of the emotions from the events. But another thing that is key here is that Andy recognizes his safe place. His true safe place in Zander and THAT tells me he’s going to be fine.. I’ve been where he is. Raped repeatedly. Beat and verbally manipulated. The exhaustion post session is no lie. It takes days to process everything you talked about, usually all week. I had migraines from hell after a session. Back to reading..

The conversation with Monica in the kitchen was very productive for Andy. Eventually expect the boys to basically end up rooming together period and that will help Andy bridge his trauma .

My overall point is however although he would prefer to stay, he still seriously thinks running is still an option and abandoning Zander. That is not very healthy thinking bc running isn’t really an option, just all knows

I suspect there’s another reason why Andy wasn’t initially told in advance of those initial appointments and Monica was very skillful in skirting around it without Andy picking up on it. I think she was worried about him running like he did in Andersonville

The reveal was perfect. The horror on Zander’s face as he realized the truth of Andy’s diary..Zander did what I expected him to do and be Andy’s voice to his parents. Now he’ll be his protector and angel his school and public. This was a great chapter.

I think Andy realizes that. I think he realizes he needs Zander’s support.

OMG!! YES. Ok breathe dammit….sigh . First off, the night terror..ugh I knew they were getting worse the more stressed he was getting.. I swear they feed of emotions.. -anyway… in a pure moment of accepted weakness Andy gives in to his recognition that he no longer has to run. He can’t fight his feelings anymore for Zander and he finally gives himself what he has been needing to do from the beginning, permission. Permission to grieve. Permission to accept that it’s ok to be gay and ok to crush on such a hot guy and doesn’t have to fear his reaction to that news. All big big steps. With Zander’s support, and given how they reacted to Zander’s coming out I doubt you’ll see any difficulty with his parents either which together will help Andy face his past .

So, wait, is that same barn the same one he hid in the first day? Zander’s family? I’m so confused

Now the only real option he has is to stay and come clean to at least his friends who hopefully can get him help and support. That’s gonna be hard for him to do and I think the person to get him to allow himself to do so is Zander

Don’t be sorry. I’ve MOSTLY healed. . I’ve learn to accept what I had by a way of a support system (if you could call it that) as a young teen wasn’t what it should’ve been. I don’t blame my parents. They were..are ignorant in a lot of ways. The trouble is, it isn’t like most ppl where you can educate them now. The damage was done and if I tried to tell them now what it was like then, they’d try to make up for it and only make it worse. My mother is what I can an accidental narcissist. She means well but doesn’t realize how she sounds, what her actions do, or actually listens to you when you tell her to leave you alone. I love my mom. I do..but I can only take so much. So we speak only typically every few weeks even though we only live 2 mi from each other. It hurts because I KNOW my deliberate distancing causes her pain and she doesn’t understand why, I know no amount of me trying to explain it to her will ever sink in. It’s all I can do to protect myself and even then sometimes, especially around the holidays, it’s not enough. It’s kind of hard to explain

This small clique of friends is exactly what Andy needs. It’s exactly where he can stop running and hiding and putting his masks and walls up…he just doesn’t realize it yet. I think he feels ..something but is unable to identify it for what it is. From everything that has been shown so far, this small town is an everything blue collar and wholesome. Where parents don’t hate their children and love them as they’re supposed to. Unconditionally.