peter rietbergen
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Everything posted by peter rietbergen
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This is an emotionally moving chapter. Methinks the problem is that, given the way Matteo's character is portrayed by the author, the "simple" solution of a continued relationship with Gianluca isn't easily believable. If he were a calculating businessman and patrician, his married life would perhaps still included his lover, though not as easily as back when he was a bachelor in his father 's house. But now there is Lauretta's vulnerable innocence and, quite probably, a child in due time. Unless, as was tragically common, she dies giving birth. But even then: widowers were expected to remarry as soon as the mourning period was over.
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Success, failure & a challenge
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Success, failure & a challenge
Thank you so much for a thoroughly enjoyable romp of a story...- 13 comments
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Well done, again. But the bed scene wasn't new. We've had a similar one in chapter 2, with almost the sane sexual component in it, too. And: with R mumbling Kieran's name. Which must somehow pain Ben. Will there be a moment when R says: Ben?
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Wylan opened his eyes - and saw the room. But he is blind...
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True. But one has to acknowledge that Sixtus' Sistine Chapel was as beautiful as the one later created by Michelangelo...
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Danilo is the court jester, the man who is employed to keep his masters abreast of the ugliness of reality.
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Symbiosis, entropy? Riley vocabulary? No. But I can see why you need this 'new' Riley to create a new Ben. For though Riley may be chaotic. It is precisely what makes him human. Ben has to learn a lot. Will you allow him to...?
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A very cleverly constructed chapter that marks a profound change of feeling and being in both B and Riley. Obviously, B will not be able to put back the lid on the Pandora box he opened when he took up with Riley.
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Ah, what a relief. And I'll curb my impatience.
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I now officially hate you. On temporary hold? No, no, no.
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Still fascinating. And, yrs, a pleasure to read. But yet: would a Council Estate kid recognize The Waste Land? Or have the educated vocabulary to acknowledge and describe, in an interior monologue, the post-modern, posh peculiarities of Ben's house?
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This is excellent indeed. And promising, too.
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Well done. But though I see the narrative necessity for the two last paragraphs - the small moral bankruptcy and the larger one - I yet feel that if the purse were handed to the servant girl, or her parents/guardians, or, even better, entrusted to a parish priest for the bastard child's upbringing, it would yet serve its purpose...
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It is unlikely any of the " parties" involved will adhere to this nonsense. I asume that M will convince Lauretta that she has other options....
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Dinner with Pericles & PJ
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Dinner with Pericles & PJ
Perhaps the Nimrod will be decidedly underwhelming. Which would be perfect, for it (only) served as the foundation for a thoroughly delightful story -
Straight to the Morning, Part Two of Three
peter rietbergen commented on Boy Mercury X's story chapter in Straight to the Morning, Part Two of Three
Almost there...??? In this conundrum that exceeds all conundrums? You must be a relationship magician. -
Straight to the Morning, Part One of Three
peter rietbergen commented on Boy Mercury X's story chapter in Straight to the Morning, Part One of Three
I didn' know what to expect. I do know it exceeds any expectations I might have had. Excellent. -
The Pazzi Conspiracy is a clever choice for context indeed. It'll even bring in the Pope. Promising.
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“The Malady of Hunger”
peter rietbergen commented on CasualWanderer82's story chapter in “The Malady of Hunger”
This is, indeed, an amazing piece of psychological analysis, and beautifully worded, too. Bravo. -
The first part was a bit repetitive. But the end works perfectly - though as always I do feel for Matteo....
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This is impressive indeed. Thanks for it!
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Aha, now it is clear where we're heading to....
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Why, in their last conversation during that long evening, did Kitt not question Matteo about HIS future, instead of talking about himself and Matt?
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Afternoon Heat and Lingering Eyes
peter rietbergen commented on Soren Kraft's story chapter in Afternoon Heat and Lingering Eyes
Maybe a bit too many cocks outlined in speedos, and too many bodies carved from stone...? -
This was a moving chapter, if only because Kitt (also) recognised what Matteo feels, and means to him.
