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Gosh my mom had me talk with my #2 brother about my NO JOB situation. I have to say talking with any of my brothers on this subject is like you might as well just take me out to the shooting range and pull the trigger or the other saying "Reopen an old wound and pour salt on it" Gosh, why is it ever easier to talk with people that's not your family than with. I don't expect them to change since my family is not much to hugging nor giving love nor helping out another brother beyond words. He's not telling me anything that I expect the market to be since the economics isn't that great. For Florida, it maybe that I will have to move to where the job is. Hey if you heard the tone of my brothers ... "you probably would say are those your brothers?" you could say I not exactly on the same playing field level with them so I'm always going to get those arrows and daggers in the heart. What can I say I am not an aggressive person -> I just do the work and get it done I guess its not easy to be alone for 99% of the time and its hard being GAY. I'll try not to cry over this because I don't want to even thou my feelings say otherwise. But I am not looking forward to Thanksgiving because that's when #3 brother is visiting. I'm lucky #1 brother doesn't call. There definitely plenty of aggravation to receive from siblings. I have witness other families that are much better than mine. (I have witness other families worst than mine as well.) I guess I don't get along with them cause we're not so close. I might as well be throw out with the trash. Less garbage to keep around Jeepers ... I think there is enough material for a sad story.

Gosh you sure can be a model!!! Wow!

Yup Handsome. You considering contact lens. You could star as Clark Kent the early years. :-)

Gosh your really HOT!!! I bet all the boys and girls want you bad!!!

Hi guys I joined a computer club that meets once a month. There aren't many in the club but in the other computer club there is a few more people. I found this week a sort of GLBT that meets at a coffee house. There is alot more people there than in the computer clubs and friendlier too. I will continue to go and I will still keep in mind of all your advice about just being a friend even thou I may not find a bf. I am still laid off and find it hard to find a job in this region of florida. I wanna stay here for few reasons (a) My mom and aunt are up in their years and my sibiling are all married and have their own lives. ( I don't have much of life but it beats being alone. © I never had a physical so I am finally starting to taking care of that oversite\fear. Its not that I have to worry about diseases like STD since I was never sexuality active to any one. However, having multiple pelvic masses, allergies, arthritis plus an Anxiety depression, life scars. It kinda makes you wonder is there life beyond existence on planet earth. No one in family knows I am GAY. I have no intention of telling my mom or my aunt because its not necessary for them to know since I am still me to them. I do get hurt when they talk negatively towards GAYS when its mentioned on TV. My other aunt tried to introduce me to a girl. She's nice but she very young and English is not her strong point plus I am not interested in girls but it doesn't stop me in being a friend. I am avoiding this matchmaking because my heart isn't into a str8 life. I wanna a GAY life and raise children or help raise children. I am tired of the computer field because it eats away my life. Gosh what do you guys think??

No matter what happens (BF or no BF) Always be a friend to him and tell him that. He maybe afraid to lose you as a friend if he says no to BF. Remember we're a minority and we need as much support from each other.

I am happy you are taking care of yourself!! Keep up the positive feelings its the best medicine for your recovery.

I am glad you and your family is safe. I remember going out with my brother and his friends on the west side of manhattan. We just finish seeing Lethal Weapon two and was making our way out of the theater to go home. There was multiple shot gun fire occuring and my brother and his future brother in-law and his brother ushered us all back into the theater. I said "Great, Lethal Weapon 3 is outside" Gosh, looking back on that day. I remember how much concern my brother in-law had on his face because he use to be in a gang a long time ago and was determine to do something about keeping kids out of gangs and out of trouble.

A story I am reading "The Journey of Love" by Scotty, a quote "Forget Yesterday, Look forward for Today and Tomorrow" I agree with Tiger. I am in between curve balls right now. I guess I had some singles. But, no home runs. I am trying to pick myself up and trying to get a feel for whats out there. Not very good at it but I am trying. I think from the quote we all have to look on how we all will build our future from today to tomorrow. Right now the world is hurting and you probably are feeling it or seeing your neighbors or friends are hurting. Definitely talk with your boyfriend and engage on looking forward.

Thanks CJ That helped alot. I think do see that when Eric was going in the direction of killing Steve and Chris that he was way in over his head and was probably strung out. I do realized drugs make people radically different. When reading Eric for the Ending. I see he's not totally evil nor even a saint. I guess the Williams gene make Eric a bit more human than an 100% evil radical. I getting the impression that Chris is major hero and Steve is more like the sexual Tonto. btw, a year later, did chris stay a blonde? and What are ht and wt and bld of the characters? My impression Chris is taller than Steve and Steve is like 4 in over Eric. 6ft , 5 11 and 5 7 Given what paster mike preached. If Chris and Steve were to be more loving brothers toward Eric despite how bad he is. Would Eric change much?

Loved the story I hope another chapter will appear

I read the parts I skim over. Sort of getting the sex parts all in one read. Question: Did Steve and Chris have as much sex sex as Steve and Billy?? or Is Steve holding out? Any chance Chris , Steve , and Chad will do a threesome? (joke) Veronica won't like but Rob and Joe would I re-read the Eric and the Camping Part Question: So did Eric Empty Steve and Chris Accounts again? Question: Why is Steve and Chris responsible for the tower? Dex did it , technically? So , Dex parents would be resposible since he is under 18?? Sounds like tower only suffer equipment damage. They could have loss all that money and not have much for college. I presume in later settlements of Thadeous fortune - they get more $$$ Question: So Peidmont - has no Sheriff nor deputies So Lonesome - has Sheriff and Sg Williams and one other deputy Why hasn't Piedmont Settled? Who is running the Piedmont Sheriff Dept? Is Sheriff B retired now? btw, Isn't Piedmont DA corrupt too? What becomes of the dead sheriff property and stuff? Does the boys win any thing from that?

mmm "who shot the sheriff" ... the off meth on his breath hmmm ... call it convergence of a common goal ... three for the price of one its a win-win situation for the evil one

I just finished reading this story in the last couple of day. Its really a good read but I just skipped thru the slow parts to the parts that moved the story along. Gosh, I can really relate to Chris a lot because I came from a strict family. When you come from a strict family - its more like prison and being a closed society. I am glad that Chris had the fortune to be so lucky to find the perfect place for a new start in life. I guess in the real world not too many people would be as lucky as Chris. Could you imagine Chris life if he did not meet Steve? I think I could, he be like me right now. I can see why Steve being a lawyer since Eric gave him lots experience. I not exactly sure why Chris is pre-med unless that was his original parents idea of get a good trade and be set for your future in life? I guess you can say we don't know too much about Chris but only a glimse. I am amazed that Eric didn't got shot with his own dart gun but again I am not sure about meth and ketimine having a reaction that would probably kill Eric out of the story. I wonder if Eric had any thoughts of fortune on that possibility. I think in the end of the story he probably did think about those incidences that his brother(s) would not really that bad of people and that he owed them that much to help them in turn they help him with his dreams to start a new life. It seems a new life for all of them before the mess started when Chris got into town. I am amazed that Thaddeus did not get like a burnt leg or something , kinda like a poetic taste of his own medicine before any of the good guys would put out the flames.

There You'll Be - Faith Hill

I agree with Mike But during the times he's like a different person who does not know you. Well time to be his new best friend every time. Bring joy and happiness to a new friend. Make best of the situation. Who knows one of those different persons might remember you - that best friend.

you survived the day !!!! hugggzzzz :-)

Well Dorothy is suppose to be a ten year old. What do ten year old seek? Home , Love , Happyness , Joy , Laughter , Fun , Love from Family , Security\Safety , and Discipline. When those elements are like zero , darn right one would leave to find a better place. And if they ball and chain her then an imaginary lesibian?? Now you're in NY and I was from NY. And if Kansas is a better place for me than NY - I go there. But if someone told you that the yellow brick road led to NY to meet the wizard. Then I guess thats the Micheal Jackson version of the wizard of OZ. Have you taken a poll from people. Ask them to give their unbiased opinion of you (freedom to praise or scream at you) and you would not engage but strictly listen. It be an eye opener or a fireball or a gold star. From an old song , "Accentuate the Positive ... Strip away all the Negatives ..." Meaning there is a good person in there in you. Mmmm , if you're in NY - Its some where in HIDING deep inside you. Seriously , look into the mirror again and gaze into the humanity thats in you. That humanity you will find and maybe be exactly whom you're looking for in others. If the wizard of oz meant for you to go on a journey to free and discover your humanity then thats a journey worth taking. Provided that after discovery you keep it under lock and key , you know you're in NY not Kansas.

hehehe I taking the easier path - ready gay sobbing stories on GA and Nifty if u ever see the ugly pics on craigslist - u probably wana remain a virgin

Thanks guys. I'll work on that advice since I got plenty of time since I was laid off at work and move back to my mom place. Since the economy sucks , I has no idea how long before I get a job again. But at least I could look into some of the things you mention above.

that's like finding a needle in hay stack ... before the cows eat up all the hay and the needle? Gosh its not easy in this world and the stories make it too easy for the character yet its even harder in the real world. There is so many dangers and adventures that makes it hard to find that as some else pointed out "Mr Right" Too many "Mr Wrongs" and that would be a killer??

For me attraction is , its height then a smooth bod , and then how its built , lastly , having a good character. Too bad for me ... mr right not cross my path ... those at my height ... be too young for me