First, he's feeling guilty about what happened which is why he's avoiding you. In future, you have an idea why it's a good idea to save sex until you're sure you both ready. Sex changes all relationships. You can count on that.
Second, here's some advice because nobody's actually given you anything I see as useful. You're looking for a solution. That really needs to come from within you. But in absence of that, here's what the raccoon recommends since you can't have a talk.
If you can't get him on the phone, you'll have to e-mail him. You need to let him (a) know how you feel, avoiding the L word at first and ( let him know you don't want to lose him as a friend.
That sounds easy. It's not. You need to realize that keeping him as a friend may mean losing him as a lover. Which is more important to you? You need to decide that before you open your mouth.
As for me, I would rather be friends with someone like you've described. Real friends who are always there for you forever are damn near impossible to find. Everyone THINKS they have them but when a real crisis develops you find out who is still there (usually nobody). Get YOUR head together first and figure out what you want because you've got to decide, communicate that decision, and live with the consequences.
That, sir, is what your good friends should tell you. Good friends give you advice you don't want to hear and don't pull punches.
I will now go crawl back into my cave.