JamesSavik

Jeff beneath the stain of time the feeling disappears you are someone else I am still right here what have I become? my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end -Trent Reznor, NIN Hurt I hurt myself sometimes. When people ask me why I'll tell them that I'm clumsy. If they are more insistent, I tell them that I don't know why. I really do know. The burn here or the cut there is a distraction. It let's me focus on something so I don't have to feel what's rea

Two lonely, hurt kids discover love and together find healing and self-worth again.

I had a story like that. Everyone that read it thought I was really disturbed. They were probably right. Until the right people read it. Turned out it wasn't half bad. It even ended up in an anthology. The Cool Green Sea

I live in hopes it's so. TLC used to be good. Now it is The Lame Channel.

I just don't have it in me. I have experienced enough real pain to know that I don't like it and, am mortified(good Southern word) at the thought of causing pain to others- especially someone I like enough to want to roll around with. The idea of being out of control gives me cold sweats so trying to tie me up would be like trying to give a cat a bath. It could probably be done but no one would enjoy the experience. Leather? No. Just.. no. I'm just not kinky that way. My big S&M fantasy? Rescuing the poor guy that's tied up. Picking him up, carrying him away to some place nicer where I can experience his gratitude. That doesn't work either. He liked being tied up. I actually searched for S&M for Dummies. That was no help. Then after a few more searches, I was like Maybe there are frontiers that I probably shouldn't explore.

We are and we aren't. It's a fascinating duality. I remember when I was much younger going out hunting. I would go to a club and nail the best looking guy in the place. Yeah- it was an ego trip. It was a little game I used to play with myself. What the heck- it was the early 80s. Before HIV. I won't say how often I won but you can't score if you don't play. Do you know what my huge, kinky S&M fantasy is? To rescue the poor bastard that's tied up. I got to do it once and he asked me- why did you do that? It is difficult to be the White Knight when they really want to be tied up.

I have forgotten where on the net I found it but a few years ago I read a history of the way attitudes have changed about sex crimes over the years. If you look at it graphically, prosecution of sexual abuse was very rare back in the day. Things only started to change in the late fifties and sixties and the numbers began doubling every few years. It was often handled just like the Catholic Church handled it. Perps were given an ultimatum- get out of town or face charges. Only exceptionally egregious cases went to trial. No one was comfortable with it and the cop out was often- we don't want to put the minor through an additional trauma. It was something that "nice people didn't talk or think about". So much was white washed it's nauseating to even think about. Sex crimes and the knowledge of them spread during the seventies and turned into real hysterical witch hunts in the eighties. (Yes they were looking for child molesting witches Day Care Sex Abuse Hysteria) The real watershed was the passage of Megan's Law in 1994 which created the current sex offender registration system. It took us a long time to get where we are today. There was a ton of difference in attitudes from decade to decade.

I'm not going to praise Paterno but, I think I understand him. Men of his generation were particularly poorly suited to handle any issue that had anything to do with sex. They were taught that nice people didn't even say the word. The way Reagan handled the AIDS epidemic is a prime example. He delegated it and went completely with the advice of experts. C. Everett Coop(SG) pretty much ran the whole show at the cabinet level. Reagan didn't even say the word AIDS in a speech until 1988- the final year of his presidency. My own Dad had no idea how to handle me. We NEVER talked about it. Talking about it would have made it real. If he just saw something he didn't like, he would smack the shit out of me. Finally, the way he dealt with it was avoidance. He took a job with a lot of travel involved and we just weren't around each other. We can blame these men but I'm not sure we should. In many ways they were outstanding. This was their weakness and blind spot. It was how a whole generation of men were raised to act, think and believe.

Here is a good example of a sci-fi story done right. The More Things Change by Gee Wilikers Notice that there are events, technology and a world that had changed a great deal but it is the characters that make the story snap.

I like the new character. I'm sure he's handsome and intelligent with such a noble name.

If you are reading Step 12, this goes with Chapter 2, Dope Sick.

Sounds like we've had some of the same lab partners.

Free me, leave me Watch me as I'm going down Free me, see me Look at me I'm falling And I'm falling......... Not an Addict by K's Choice I sat down on the sofa by the dope sick kid. He was shaking a little and asked, "How long does it last?" "It depends on a lot of things. How long you've been using, how much, exactly what you've been using and then your body mass and a few other things. If you're lucky, it could be over in a day or two." The doorbell rang announcing that Travis and

Every author has days like that.

Listen to this while you are reading Step 12.

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry the message to other addicts, and practice these principles in all our affairs.

I've seen the needle and the damage done A little part of it in everyone But every junkie's like a settin' sun. The Needle and the Damage Done by Neil Young I was ahead of schedule. The outlet mall was supposed to open in April and I had my part of the job finished in February. I got the last stores computers, phones, fax machine and point-of-sale terminals done and knock off a little before three. Visions of my sweet, sweet bonus were dancing in my head as I drove home. Life for a fre

Successful sci-fi often has a lot in common with any other story. The best, most memorable ones are character driven. When you think of Star Trek, Kirk and Spock come to mind. Starship Troopers: Johnny Rico. The whole Honor Harrington series is defined by the lead character. The next most important attribute are ideas. What is the universe like? Society? What challenges do they face? What role does technology play? In truth- there is really no need for aliens. In the future, advances in technology could make humanity unrecognizable to us. Perhaps there is no need for humans and your story immerses us in an alien society. Some scientists are already talking about the trans-human era. Science and technology must be consistent. You have to create rules and make them make sense. How does FTL travel work? How does FTL communications work. How do robots think and act. How people act and think is also very important. Human nature hasn't changed a whole lot since the Greeks first begin writing books about it a few thousand years ago. We can expect some of the same problems like greed, superstition and so forth. We may well discover new ones. In sci-fi the canvas is as big as your imagination. To some writing it is a daunting challenge. Creating a whole rich world just isn't for every writer. However for the creative and energetic is can be a vast place to explore with plenty of room for new and exotic ideas.

Jake- Check out my blog page. It has a ton of links to sites you'll find interesting: Places to Go, Things to See One of my favorite stories that I've run into lately is The Preacher's Kid by Ryan Bartlett. It is right up your alley. I loved the characters in this story.

I confess: everybody thought Frodo was hot. I had a thing for Sam.

Welcome again. I knew you were interesting and, I'm almost never wrong about these thing.

Ding, ding ding! We have a winner!

1. Ignoring the Obvious- It is said that love is blind. It makes us overlook tiny little flaws like say... alcoholism. 2. Thinking he will change for me- no, he won't. In some cases, you can expect it to get much worse and take you down with them. 3. I have to take it because I can't do any better- without any self esteem or confidence, you probably won't. You won't get either staying in an abusive situation. 4. I need a relationship- are you ready for one or is it a security blanket you hide behind? You can't stand together if you can't stand alone. 5. Forgive and forget- resentments poison relationships. 6. Don't expect your partner to read your mind- unless you are dating Professor X. You must communicate. 7. Don't take him for granted- there's little worse than being lonely in a relationship. Give him the gift of your self as often as possible. 8. Remember the romance- little touches go a long way to keeping the magic alive. 9. Make time for each other- it's how you grow together. 10. Be sure to play together a little every day- it never gets old that way and it keeps you young.