JamesSavik

Glad your Dad is better. Maybe things are looking up.

KC- you are a treasure.

Freddie Mercury, Rock Hudson, Gia Carangi, Isaac Asimov, Michel Foucault, Anthony Perkins, Leigh Bowery, Robert Reed, Arthur Ashe, Easy-E, Michael Lupo, Tony Richardson, Peter McWilliams, Denholt Eliott, Cazuza, Dac Rambo, Peter Allen, Tom Waddell, Jerry Smith, Pedro Zamora, Michael Jeter, Glenn Burke, John Curry, Roy Cohn, Howard Asher, Essex Hemphill, Slyvester, Ian Charleston, Kieth Herring, Andy Miligan, Vito Russo, Jon Hinson, Arthur Russell, Derick Johnson, Alvin Ailey, Steve Rubell, Brian Pockar, Rudolf Nureyev, Tim Richmond, Ondrej Nepela, Alan Bloom, Bruce Chatwin, Tommy Sexton, Tina Chow, Warren Chow, Warren Casey, John Boswell, Randy Shilts, Marlon Riggs, James Kirkwood, Cyril Collard, Eric Bruhn, David Wojnarowicz, Tom Villard, Jack Baker, Simon Bailey, Kenny Everett, Arturo Islas, Perry Ellis, Ron Vawter, Nicky Crane, Guy Hocquenghem, Paddy Chew, Tom Preston, Tony de Vit, Kevin Hall, Vincent Hanley, Kenny Green, Wili Smith, Michael Callen, Robin Crowsby Those are just *some* of the famous names. The ones that hurt, really hurt, were the ones you never heard of. Jeff D, Doug B, Kelly F, Joe S, Kevin S, Cole J, Marc C and so many more... They were the brothers, lovers, cousins, old friends, acquaintances and old flames. They were the ones you lost track of until their names marched by in the obituaries. I first started hearing about 'the Gay Plague' soon after I turned 18. I was listening to NPR on a Sunday afternoon after going home for a weekend. It kept coming up. It was mysterious and frightening. No one knew what it was. The scientist thought it was a virus but they couldn't isolate it. I knew one thing- we were in trouble. There was a ton of denial. We're in Mississippi. Whatever it is, it's in the big cities like San Francisco and New York. We've got nothing to worry about. Right. Because viruses respect lines on maps? I became an activist of sorts. I started working with some people I knew to promote safe sex. We handed out God knows how many condoms. Then it started in earnest. I can't describe the weird combination of fear and denial and panic that I saw around me. People were still fucking around like crazy. I guess it was like the people on the Titanic that kept on partying until the ship went under. It broke my heart. It drove me bat shit cRaZy. After the one, the one I would have happily married and spent my life with, died in 1996. I crawled in a bottle and spent those lost years in an haze of booze and weed. It took me years to get my shit back together. I lost so much along the way. Oct. 1, 2003 I decided to live again. It took a shrink. It took some guts. But I'm alive again. I've never liked to lose. It takes a while to figure out that there really isn't a score. As long as you're alive, you are winning as long as you just don't quit. _______________________________________________________________ 1996 a poem about those years ==> https://www.gayauthors.org/story/jamessavik/1996

Happy birthday, Wayne!

Bad news: The Saints cornerbacks couldn't cover an old lady on a walker. Good news: Mississippi State is going to the Peach Bowl. Just remember to be humble and enjoy the moment: Fate is fickle and Murphy’s law we all fear, Titans fall and Giants have feet of clay, And all of our teams could suck next year.

I did better than that on drugs.

http://s1305.photobucket.com/user/James_Savik/media/nerds_zps73e5d132.jpg.html'> Because we need them to keep all of out gadgets running!

Well written. Needs an editors touch. It brought tears to my eyes because I have been there before.

Sometimes in a story "ugly topics" come up. Various types of abuse, drugs, alcohol, date rape, etc. I would like to know from the various authors: How do you handle it? How do you present it? How do you make it a part of the plot without appearing to endorse it? In the past I've gotten criticism for this and I don't really get it. Murder mysteries don't endorse or glorify murder. I don't really "get" why some people seem to lose it when the hot button issues come up. Doubtless it's wrapped up in the word issues.

Most Mississippians don't have to go back very far to find farm roots. A tradition that we have that dates back a long time is the Christmas Pig. Farmers keep one pig out of their herd for the Christmas Season. They make sausage and bacon and all that but the prize is the pork loin. Christmas Eve they have a big pork loin roast with mashed potatoes (or rice), pork gravy, vegetables and biscuits.

My writing has never been what I would call really inspired. It has been fun, cathartic on occasion and sometimes I'll come up with something I'm really proud of. In the past I've written stories with conspicuous drinking and drug use. As I was in active addiction for a lot of my life, that's my experience, I couldn't write normal kids playing baseball and living in non-dysfunctional families. I wouldn't know where to start. The feedback that I've gotten from Redemption is one that has really been gratifying and humbling. I think I REALLY hit a nerve with it. Going forward, I am going to address recovery. Specifically, I'm going to address the issues that young GLBT people face in recovery. Like the conflict between the 12 step higher power and the negative experience with religion many GLBT people have. Like the Lambda AA/NA groups that make many young people feel like a mackerel in a shark tank. Like going to a 12 step program and encountering homophobia Judging from what I've been hearing from people about Redemption, there is a lot of interest there and, maybe it can do some good.

Sex sells and kinky raunchier sex sells salaciously. Too bad nobody was wearing a chicken suit. It would have probably hit CNN.

I finished my paper and project for my solid state electronics class! I'm riding an A into finals. Tomorrow I present my gadget and how it works. My project is a smart geiger counter that can connect to computers for data logging. It's smart enough to network the devices together and connect to a central hub so they can monitor radiation levels over a large area- like say around the Chernobyl exclusion zone, the ruins if the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant, any number of open air or underground test sites that need to be monitored on a long term basis. Each node will cost ~$300, the hub $1200. They run on a Linux core with programming in static RAM with a geiger-muller tube, wi-fi, solar power and a GPS Chip. Depending on the detector tube, prices may vary. I'm excited about more than my anthology entry.

Looks just like my cat and is apparently, just as BAD.

for the addicts that never found recovery and the ones we lost on the way

It was a bad day for all concerned.

This is actually common in volcanic eruptions. Lava is very hot and under high pressure. When it comes out, the pressure is released and there are literally tons of ionized gas and dust particles that are liberated from the magma. In a Pilnian eruption like this one, the cloud is charged and the lightning that you see occurs as the cloud cools and discharges itself. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plinian_eruption This sort of eruption is named after Pilny the Younger who chronicled the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79AD.

Responsibility is a word that has really been raped over time. It means blame- Who is responsible for toilet papering Principal Skinner's house? It means shame- The criminal admitted his responsibility and took a plea bargain. It can sometimes mean burden- I am responsible for taking out the trash on Mondays and Fridays. It often means guilt- My insurance dropped me because I was responsible for the accident. All of those definitions have made it a word that many people are frightened of. People are afraid of responsibility because in their mind it means blame, shame, burden or guilt. This fear of responsibility has made a great many people abrogate their responsibilities or simply refuse to accept any responsibility. When this happens, it causes serious consequences. One of the REAL meanings of responsibility is POWER. When you accept responsibility, you take power over yourself, job or position. When you refuse to accept responsibility, you cede that power to someone else. When you refuse any responsibility you give up what personal power that you have. When we get rid of the blame, shame, burden and guilt definition and replace it with POWER, it gives us an entirely different outlook. Start replacing the word responsibility for power in your mind and see what happens. I think you'll like it. Addendum : There are two other parts of this that are important. Ownership: by taking responsibility, you take ownership. Accountability: responsibility usually comes with accountability. I could expand on these concepts but I'll leave it as an exercise for the reader. Now consider how these three work together to moderate each other.

Haines-hunter! I want one.