Collan

I am both elated and devastated. I am elated to have discovered this saga even though I am way over a decade late to the party. I have laughed; I have cried (and many times sobbed); I have run the gamut of emotions both high and low. I am also devastated because I have binge read the whole thing from the very beginning over the course of the last month and I have finally caught up, which means that my story-hungering, impatient self will now have to wait upon our dear author's pleasure like everyone else. Even though I know more is to come, these characters have been my constant companions for the last several weeks and I'm feeling at a loss. /sigh

So much for California being the "left" coast. I always knew there was a reason I loved New York!

Happy Happy and all that!

Farmer's Branch is a suburb of Dallas and not far from where I grew up in Richardson. It is so encouraging to see how times have changed. You wouldn't have seen those responses 20-30 years ago.

I have to agree here. If you truly want to make comments, I would PM the author first and ask if they're interesting in hearing what you have to say, and then make surethey're ok with you commenting on certain things before you actually any comments. Keep the exchange private. When I first joined GA 6 years ago, I was naive enough to think that the requests for people to leave comments and feedback meant they actually wanted honest opinions. I discovered that no matter how diplomatically I tried to phrase things, anything negative was taken as an attack on the author, and usually not by the author, but by the author's friends and admirers who circled up the wagons against outside "attacks" from some newbie they didn't know. I came to feel at that time that GA was a very closed community and I didn't come back until just a few months ago. Now I'll be the first to say that 6 years is a pretty long time and that the mix of people and authors here now is very different. It definitely feels more open now. Even so, I still am ultra-cautious in what I say and how I say it regarding the work here. I will only offer my positive opinions unless I have specific direct permission from the person involved that they are willing to hear anything they might perceive as negative. Constructive criticism is great, but it is still criticism and as such can have the potential to trigger defensive responses no matter how carefully phrased. I think one of the biggest barriers is that when you start to get into a text-only environment as direct personal communication rather than as carefully considered fiction which has often been written and rewritten over a long period of time, you lose a significant layer of nuance in tone of voice and even facial expression which can then lead to a much higher level of misunderstanding and misinterpretation. Anyway, that's my two cents.

I saw this one coming a mile away...

Being young is in part a state of mind, but it can also be very relative. I'm 46, but I know people in their 50's and up who still tell me, "Oh god, you're so young!" And then on the flip side of that, there are people I work with in their 20's and 30's who seem very young to me. It's all in your perspective I guess.

This went around the office today. I think my favorite so far... (Click for full size.)

heh. I have a friend who's a "cleaner". He'll start with the bathroom, then continue to the kitchen. If he's upset enough you know it because you can practically eat off the floor. Me, I tend to retreat. I get tired and just want to sleep to get away from the upset feelings. If I'm at work, I'll try and walk away from where I am physically to another part of the building as soon as I have the opportunity. I try and seek some kind of emotional or physical distance from whatever the upset is.

With very few exceptions, I'm in the "wait for it to be complete" camp, mainly because I'm an extremely impatient person and I can't stand waiting to find out what happens next. The anticipation drives me crazy. Every once in a while though, a story description will grab my attention enough and I'll dive in whether it's done or not. I'm currently only letting myself follow two "in process" stories, Nephylim's "The Face in the Window" and KingdombytheSea's "Social Skills". I am loving both of them, and I'm glad I went ahead and took the plunge, but damnation is it rough to wait for the next chapters!

I was 12 and just starting puberty when I saw Patrick Duffy in Man from Atlantis. /sigh (Click for full size)

And another wow. Sad, but very beautiful. There was a serenity he had in the face of his end that gave it its beauty, I think.

Wow. Very mixed feelings about this, because on the one hand there a number of things I regret about my life that I would like to have been different, and yet if I changed things who knows what things I have now and value that I wouldn't in that other life? And who knows really whether things would have turned out better or worse in the long run? I'll say this though: career-wise my biggest regret is quitting piano lessons in 6th grade in favor of band.

I totally agree, and every place you go to can have its upsides and its downsides. I personally grew up in the suburbs and still live in the suburbs, albeit different ones. It's where I feel most comfortable, since it's where I've spent the bulk of my life. For me the upside is that I'm close enough to the big city cultural centers to access them if and when I need to, but the pace is slower and there's more of a sense of privacy. As opposed to the suburbs, big cities and rural areas I think have more of their own distinct characters. London, New York, Paris, Rome, San Francisco, Antwerp, Salzburg - they each have their own unique feel. Similarly, living in rural Pennsylvania, rural Arkansas, or rural New Mexico are very different experiences. No matter where you live though, so many other factors influence how you feel about a certain place - your family, your friends, your job, your past experiences both good and bad can all have an impact.

"Where in the World?" and "How Could I Ever Know?" from The Secret Garden My father died when I was 10 and my mother was destroyed by it. It was a long time before she was able to get through her days without thinking of him constantly and seeing him in everything around her. That was 36 years ago, and while she eventually was able to move on with her life, she still never remarried. She told me the other day that he was her soulmate and she could never think of being with anyone else. I always think of them when I hear this. I still hope to find a love like that. Where in the World? ARCHIBALD: Now I see you in the window Of a carriage, then a train. Still my mind cannot accept that In your grave you must remain. Now I hear your voice then turn and See a stranger's form and face. Must I wander on tormented Place to place to place to place! Where can I go that you won't find me? Why can't I find a place to hide? Why do you have to chase me, haunt me? Every step you're there beside me. Where in the world, tell me, where in the world Can I live without your love? Where on the earth, tell me where on the earth Can I stay now that you are gone? Why did I have to meet you, love you? Why can't I rid you from my mind? Why did you have to want me? Won't you let me put my life behind me? How in the world, tell me how in the world Can I live without your love? Why on the earth, tell me, why on the earth Should I stay now that you are gone? Now that you are... [spoken] Lily, is that you? How Could I Ever Know? LILY: How could I know I would have to leave you? How could I know I would hurt you so? You were the one I was born to love! Oh, how could I ever know? How could I ever know? How can I say to go on without me? How, when I know you still need me so? How can I say not to dream about me? How could I ever know? How could I ever know? Forgive me. Can you forgive me And hold me in your heart, And find some new way to love me Now that we're apart? How could I know I would never hold you? Never again in this world, but oh, Sure as you breathe, I am there inside you, How could I ever know? How could I ever know? ARCHIBALD: How can I hope to go on without you? How can I know where you'd have me go? How can I bear not to dream about you? Oh, how can I let you go? LILY: How could I ever know? ARCHIBALD: All I need... LILY: Is there in the garden! ARCHIBALD: All I would ask... LILY: Is care for the child of our love! Come, go with me, safe I will keep you. ARCHIBALD: Where you would lead me, There I would, LILY: There I would, there we would, ARCHIBALD and LILY: There we will go. How, how could I know? Tell me how, how could I know? Ever to know you will never leave me! How could we ever know? LILY: How could I ever know?

One of the most beautiful and poetic songs of romatic love ever written. Longer Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean Higher than any bird ever flew Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens I've been in love with you Stronger than any mountain cathedral Truer than any tree ever grew Deeper than any forest primeval I am in love with you I'll bring fire in the winters You'll send showers in the springs We'll fly through the falls and summers With love on our wings Through the years as the fire starts to mellow Burning lines in the book of our lives Though the binding cracks And the pages start to yellow I'll be in love with you I'll be in love with you [instrumental Interlude] Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean Higher than any bird ever flew Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens I've been in love with you I am in love with you

I'm half Irish, half Polish. All 4 of my grandparents were immigrants, my mom's from Ireland and my father's from Poland.

No, that was Brando.

Well I'm not exactly new since I've technically been a member since before this thread started. I've been lurking on and off ever since, mainly following dkstories and DomLuka, although I've been reading a lot more authors recently. Anyway, I never really said hey before, so for what it's worth, hey everyone.

Can't forget Robert Mitchum: (Click for full-sized image.)

This one has haunted me for years. Still does. All The Time All the time I thought There's only me Crazy in a way That no one else could be I would have given everything I own If someone would have said you're not alone All the time I thought That I was wrong Wanting to be me, but needing to belong If I had just believed in all I had If someone would have said you're not so bad All the time, all the wasted time All the years, waiting for a sign To think I had it all All the time All the time I thought There's only me Crazy in way that no one else could be I can't believe that you where somewhere too Thinking all the time there's only you All the time, all the wasted time All the years, waiting for a sign To think I had it all All the time (And yes, it's from Barry Manilow. Get over it and listen.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfA-yW_ErTo

Kelly Clarkson wrote it with help from David Hodges and Ben Moody of Evanescence.

Good lord, so many songs come to mind it's nigh impossible to choose. I'll put in two songs of romantic yearning and unrequited love. Story of my life... I Can Dream, Can't I? As we eye The blue horizon's bend Earth and sky Appear to meet and end But it's merely an illusion Like your heart and mine There is no sweet conclusion I can see No matter how near you'll be You'll never belong to me But I can dream Can't I? Can't I pretend That I'm locked in the bend Of your embrace For dreams Are just like wine, And I am drunk With mine I'm aware My heart is a sad affair There's much disillusion there But I can dream Can't I? Can't I adore you Although we are oceans apart? I can't make you open your heart But I can dream Can't I? This was originally from a flop 1938 Broadway musical called Right This Way, Music by Sammy Fain, Lyrics by Irving Kahal. It was recorded by Tommy Dorsey in 1938 and made popular by the Andrews Sisters in 1949, but I first heard this as sung by Karen Carpenter on the Carpenters' 1975 album Horizon: The other one is a song a friend of mine wrote for a musical version of Dorian Gray that got produced at a regional theater some years back. Basil Hallward, the painter of the portrait of Dorian Gray, is alone in his studio thinking of Dorian. I wish you could hear the music. You Wouldn't Want To Know You wouldn't want to know How I feel about you I know I'd only lose you If I told you. No, you wouldn't want to hear That I'm lost when I'm without you That sometimes I've an urge to touch you Or a foolish need to hold you. I have the sense to know it's wrong I'd never dare it But I long to let my feelings show Just to know that you know Just to stand in the open. I wouldn't dare For I know we're friends And it ends there. And so all I can do Is let you go But oh If it isn't meant to be If we have to say goodbye If you don't want me Then I don't want to know.

Looking back on it, I was always attracted to boys and men, but I was also raised Catholic in the 1970's by parents a generation older than most other kids my age. I was in very deep denial for a long time, and the only thing I allowed myself to know was that I was somehow different and that that difference was somehow a bad thing. Everything else was utterly sublimated. The light bulb didn't go off for me until I was almost 21 and a friend came out to me. As soon as he said it, it was like this blinding revelation. I said all the right supportive things to him as we were talking, but inside I was thinking, "Oh my god. That's me too! I'm gay!"

Since I'm pretty new here I guess I should ask, was this the wrong way to post feedback? I was not intending to complain, but to give feedback on how I felt the writing could be improved. Should I have gone ahead and just e-mailed Dan privately like I had originally planned? Any and all advice is welcome! Collan