Recovery - 13. Chapter 13

If he’d thought about it, Alex should have known. He should have known the doctor would cut him out of the loop and he should have been alert for it. Fact is he didn’t and he wasn’t. The first he knew was when Kei’s parents arrived.

Kei was still asleep but woke up when his mother practically shook him awake. He stared at her groggily for a few moments then frowned. “Go away,” he said. “Where’s Alex?”

“I’m here, babe. It’s okay.”

Kei relaxed. There was clearly nothing wrong with his memory. He was well aware that his parents would have Alex excluded if they could.

“There’s been some good news from the doctor, sweetheart,” Bonnie said, stroking her son’s hair, even though he cringed from it.

“There is?” Kei asked.

“Wait a minute,” Alex said. “The doctor’s spoken to you. I should have been there.”

“I don’t see why,” Frank said and ignored him.

“You’ll be able to leave the hospital in a day or two,” Bonnie continued. “Maybe even as soon as tomorrow?”

“What? Home?”

“Not home, sweetheart. It’s too soon for that, but you don’t need to be in the ICU anymore and rather than transfer you to a ward they’re going to let us take you to a rehabilitation facility. They’ll have so many more resources there to help you get back on your feet.”

Kei looked alarmed. “Where?” he asked, his eyes flicking between Alex and his mother. “Where taking me you? Alex? Alex come to?”

Bonnie and Frank exchanged glances. “It’s not far from home, sweetheart. Your father and I will be able to visit every day, Maria too.”

“Alex?”

“It’s a bit far away for Alex.”

“No.” Kei said firmly. “Not without Alex.”

“You want to get better as soon as you can don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“This place is the best chance you have.”

“But… But I don’t Alex want be without.” He growled and tried again. “I don’t…want….to be…. Alex without.”

“See baby, this is exactly what I mean. They have speech therapists at the facility who have experience in Aphasia. You don’t want this to be permanent do you, to never be able to speak properly again. You might not be able to write either.”

The little colour he’d regained drained from Kei’s face. He shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “No…. Not…. I’m not….” He stared at Alex with such fear and pain in his eyes Alex very nearly had to run to the bathroom to be sick. “Not true. Not true. I not, won’t, never. No, Can’t. not true. Won’t.”

“Ssh, babe. It’s alright. We’ll get you through this, see if we don’t.”

“No. No, Alex. This not I don’t want, no. You, Alex. Need you. Please. Not. That. Place. Not alone. Please.”

“Calm down, Kei. You won’t be alone. It’s just around the corner. We’ll be there every day and I’m sure Alex can visit sometimes.”

“No, please no.” Kei was moaning and rocking, with tears pouring down his face. “No. Not want I what. No. Don’t. Don’t please. Not Alex. Don’t my Alex take from me.” As he got more and more upset his speech deteriorated and what words he could get out were garbled.

“Alright, Kei, that’s enough. Calm down, you’re behaving like a spoiled child. Get a hold of yourself.” Alex was shocked by the tone of Frank’s voice. It was so cold. “You’re going to the facility and that’s that. The arrangements have been made and as soon as the doctor gives the go ahead you’re leaving. Get your head around it and it will make things a lot easier for all of us.”

Kei was trembling visibly and shaking his head vigorously. “No. Please,” he moaned. “Please. Alex. Save me. Save me please.”

“Stop being such a spoiled brat, Kei. We’re not trying….”

“That’s enough.” Shirley had been on her feet, checking the computer print outs and monitors. She rounded on the Prince’s. “It’s not for me to comment on how a person should parent their child but I will say two things.

“First, Kei is over eighteen and clearly opposed to entering this facility, wherever it is and I will make absolutely sure everyone who needs to know is fully aware of that.

“Second, you’re son is still a very sick boy and I will not have any of my patients upset like this. Please don’t make me have to contact security. I’d be very grateful if you’d just leave quietly.”

Of course, they didn’t leave quietly but Alex had no idea what they said because, by then, he had Kei in his arms and he was trying to calm his near hysterical boyfriend.

“Kei, no one is going to make you go anywhere you don’t want to go. I promise you. I swear it. I won’t let them do anything like that, neither will the doctors and nurses. Everyone’s here for you. Just for you. Ssh now, don’t cry. Don’t panic. No one is going to be putting you in a facility on your own. You’re not going anywhere without me, I promise. Calm down now, I’m here. I’m here Kei.”

For a while, he thought Kei was too far gone to be able to calm down and he was pretty sure Sheila was on the point of drugging him again when he finally started to relax and, once his strength started to drain it quickly dissipated entirely and he fell asleep, clinging onto Alex’s hand. Even when he was fast asleep he still held on tight.

Alex and Sheila sat in silence, pointedly not talking.

“They won’t really try to make him, will they?” he asked at last.

“I told you it’s what they were intending.”

“Yeah, but that was before they saw Kei’s reaction. They wouldn’t do that, not now they’ve seen how much it would hurt him.”

“They don’t strike me as the kind of people who would be easily swayed for anything, not even by Kei. They’d justify it by saying it’s for the best in the long term.”

“But…” Alex tried to find words to argue but he couldn’t find any that wouldn’t be obviously just pipe dreams. He sighed. “I hope I don’t have to fight them. I will if I have to but I hope I don’t.”

“You’ll do anything you need to do hun…for Kei.”

“Yes, you’re right, I will. I just wish he was stronger, more himself. He’s more than capable of dealing with his parents, but he’s so…. I knew he’d panic when he realised there’s a problem with his words. He’ll be terrible until he comes to terms with it. If he does. I have to find a way of making him better. I have to. It would destroy him if he had to stay like this.”

“I can’t pretend to understand why it’s quite so important to him, but we all have our own interpretation of things, our own fears and hang-ups. I understand what you’re saying and I’ll make sure everyone knows the situation. Kei is going to be feeling very, very vulnerable I think. Something he’s taken for granted all his life, that he’s relied on more than most people have, has been ripped away from him at a time when he really needs it. And that’s even before we start to think about how physically crap he’s feeling. Darlin’ I wouldn’t have wanted to be in his place right now if it wasn’t for one thing.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“You, darling’. There’s many as would kill for someone as devoted as you and I’d sure as hell give up the power of speech to find one.” She winked at him and headed for the door. “I’ll be right back. I need to have a few words in a few ears.”

When he was alone Alex realised he was shaking inside and outside. He didn’t know what to do. He crawled onto the bed and lay down with Kei in his arms. Kei’s eyes fluttered open briefly and he smiled. It made Alex feel better. Just being there with Kei in his arms made him feel strong. He was going to protect his man no matter what. He was going to take care of Kai and save him from the world if he had to. Feeling more positive he fell asleep.

He woke to something tickling his face. Raising his hand to bat it away he found his hand trapped and his eyes flew open. He almost recoiled when he found himself staring into a pair of eyes. They were so close and something was touching his face. It took him a few moments to realise it was Kei’s fingers that were brushing his cheek and his hand who had trapped his own and was now rubbing his cheek against it.

“You…slept…long.”

“Did I?” Alex blinked and tried to sit up but Kei wouldn’t let him.

“No. Please. Little while? You and me. Together. Just…a little.”

“Clever you,” Alex said with a smile and Kei grinned.

“If. I…have to. Be. Careful words with, I then use poetry maybe. Skill I have to use why not?” He grinned again. “I sound…like Yoda.”

“A great philosopher will you make, my paduan.”

“Oh no. Jedi master great I make. You paduan are.”

“Is that what you meant to say?”

Kei grinned. “No. Doesn’t matter.”

“No, no it doesn’t. I think if you can use speech, just keep it coming out, the jigsaw pieces will eventually fit in together.”

“Think I the same.” He frowned thoughtfully. “Although, Yoda good for us is, but the world not ready perhaps is.”

Alex had no idea how much of what Kei was saying was deliberately Yoda-ised but it was more fluent than he’d heard so far, even if it was… strange.

“Fuck the rest of the world.”

“No. No interest. Just you.”

Kei let the back of his fingers trail down Alex’s cheek. “Well,” Alex said, with a smile, “you certainly don’t seem to have any problem getting your meaning over to me.”

Kei met his eyes and smiled a beautiful, twinkling smile. “I wish… I want...” He gave Alex a look that made it perfectly clear what he wanted.

Alex blushed. “Fuck, you don’t even have to speak to make me know exactly what you’re trying to say.”

“Good.” Kei leaned forward and kissed him. Then he sighed. “God, Alex, I feel like crap.”

“Hey…that was a whole sentence.”

Kei beamed. “Only you.”

“Only me what?”

“Think feeling crap a good thing is.”

Alex chuckled. “Not feeling crap, just saying it.”

“Rather say feel good.”

“Soon.”

Kei nodded. His eyes roved around, taking in the wires and IV’s. “Lotsa shit.”

“Lots.”

“Not gone yet?”

“Nope.”

Kei chewed the inside of his cheek. “I guess no sex huh?”

“You really want to? Here? Now?”

Kei chuckled. “No. Just see your face.”

“Oh god Kei, it’s so good to have you back.” Alex hugged him tighter. For the first time he wasn’t terrified of breaking him, and he didn’t.

“Right you two,” Sheila said, startling them both. “I’ve been thinking about getting this bed changed and freshened up and today’s as good a day as any. Don’t worry,” she added at Kei’s startled look, “you don’t have to get out of it. We’re good at making beds around people here. But how would it be if before I get going we have Alex here give you a nice sponge bath. There’s nothing like feeling clean to boost your spirits in a place like this.”

Kei’s eyes lit up like fireworks. “Oh yes,” he breathed with an enormous smile on his face. He froze for a moment when his eyes flicked to Sheila and he said…”Not you?” He relaxed again when she shook her head.

“I trust your man,” she said “We’ve been taking care of business together for a while now.”

For a moment Kei looked confused then his eyes flew wide and a blush turned his cheeks pink. “You? Her? You? When I….? I was asleep?”

“Couldn’t have you stinking the place out could I?”

“I…. I….” Blushing even more, Kei buried his face in Alex’s shoulder and wouldn’t come out until Shirley had gone.

“Did you? Did you…?”

“Yes.”

“And…and…her?”

“Yes.”

“Nooooo.” Kei sighed and snuggled into Alex. “Sleepy.”

“Why not go to sleep then. No doubt we’ll wake you up once we start throwing cold water on you.”

“C…cold?”

“No, don’t worry, not cold. And I’ll be very gentle.”

“Just you?”

“Just me, promise.”

Kei sighed and snuggled down again. Then he fell asleep.

Alex didn’t know what to feel. Happy? Sad? Scared? He was starting to feel he was in the middle of some absurd soap opera. The happy times at university when all they had to worry about was assignments and exams seemed far away now. His stomach lurched as he realised the exams were going on right now, even as he lay thinking about it. He sighed deeply. Ah well, next year. What was a year? And next year Kei would be sitting them with him.

He was half dozing himself when Shirley came back with the things he needed. Kei woke when Alex got off the bed. He yawned. “What?” he asked.

“Time for your bath darling,” Shirley said and Kei shrank back grabbing the blanket. “Don’t you worry, your man can do the bathing but we need to get this towel under you so you don’t wet the bed.”

Can’t I shower to the go?” Kei asked plaintively.

“What do you think?”

Kei thought about it and sighed. “No,” he said.

“Good, a sensible one. Now suck it up and give me that blanket.”

Kei looked helplessly at Alex, who laughed. “She’s a nurse, babe,” Alex said. “You ain’t got nothing she hasn’t seen before.”

“Not mine,” Kei said stubbornly.

“Oh, for goodness sake.” Alex took a firm grip on the blanket and tugged it out of Kei’s hand. Kei’s hands twitched towards his groin but he was too weak to cover it in time. Before he had the chance to think about it Shirley and Alex had rolled him onto his side, slipped a thick towel under him and rolled him back again.

“What…?” Kei said, blinking. “What happened?”

“We did,” Alex said, grinning at Shirley. “We make a good team.”

“We make a great team,” Shirley said. “I’ll give you as long as you need…within reason. Call me when you’re done.”

That sponge bath was the most intensely intimate experience Alex had ever had. Kei’s eyes fluttered closed when Alex bathed his face and sighed when he moved down over his chest. He lay, relaxed and smiling, as Alex worked down his arms and hands. Alex kissed each finger as he wiped it. Shirley had put something in the water that smelled clean and fresh and Kei was clearly enjoying having the perspiration sponged off his body.

When he’d done his arms and hands, Alex moved down to wash his feet. Kei had always been very ticklish on his feet but this time seemed to enjoy it a lot more and allowed Alex to clean between his toes without giggling helplessly and squirming as he usually did.

Alex found himself in something of a quandary as he worked his way slowly up Kei’s legs. Kei was responding very sensually and the closer he got to his groin the more obvious it was that Kei was thinking about exactly the same thing he was and Alex had no idea what to do about it. It wasn’t as if he could do anything as Kei had a catheter inserted and the thought of what might happen made it impossible for him to even consider it. Yet, the sight of Kei’s hardening penis and the musky smell of him was driving Alex wild.

“Um…Hm….” He cleared his throat. “Maybe I should get the nurse to finish up.”

“What? Why? Alex? What I…I…. What I do?”

“Nothing, you idiot. You didn’t do anything. I just…. I don’t think I can….”

“What?” Kei raised his head. “Oh. Yes. Hmm. Okay. I won’t.”

“You won’t what?”

“I’ll…think…. Maybe, Yoda.”

“Maybe Yoda what?”

“Maybe if…if I think…of…Yoda…um…doing it.”

Alex snorted. “Yeah, that’s an image guaranteed to put you off your stride. Okay. I…I’ll try but…. Tell me if it hurts, okay?”

“Hurts? You hurt me for sure wouldn’t. Trust you I completely.” He growled. “Is it…? Is it...?” He paused and clenched his teeth. “As…. Annoying. To. You.”

“Not annoying at all. After what happened I’m just so glad to hear you speak at all.”

“Were you…?” His lips moved as he made sure he was going to get things right. “Scared when…I…was…asleep?”

“Yes. Yes I was. I was very scared. Oh god, babe. When I thought…. When I thought I was going to lose you…. I love you, Kei. I love you so much it makes me crazy. I do stupid things like believing for a moment I could leave you. If you’d died…. I’d never have been able to live with myself after the way I treated you when you were sick.”

“No…. No, don’t. I…. You…. Okay, stop.” He held up his hand and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “You…. You didn’t…didn’t….know.” By thinking very carefully and pausing between each word, looking at Alex for encouragement, he managed to gather and express his thoughts. “I didn’t know. You didn’t know. I don’t blame you. I don’t want blame for you.”

“I know. I know you’re the last person to ever blame anyone but I’m not. I do blame myself and I will make it up to you. I promise I’ll make it up to you, as soon as you’re home.”

A look of fear flashed through Kei’s eyes. “Do you….? I don’t…. You let them won’t not will you?”

Alex knew instantly what he was talking about and hastened to reassure him. “I won’t let anyone take you anywhere you don’t want to go. I’d kill them before I let them do that.”

“Don’t… kill. Just…lock in… a cell. For a while.”

“That’s such a tempting prospect. Okay. I’m going to finish washing you now and I don’t want a single dirty thought going through that pretty head.”

Kei pouted. “Too late,” he said.

By the time Shirley came back Kei was clean and tucked up again, dozing. Alex was holding his hand and gazing at him, letting his eyes over every inch of a face that was so familiar and yet so strange. The doctors had eased back on the medication and a lot of the puffiness had gone down. He was Kei again. His Kei.

“How did it go?”

“Hmm… pretty well but there were some…interesting difficulties to overcome.”

“I wondered. How did you overcome them?”

“Thinking of Yoda.”

Shirley snorted. “That’ll teach me. I really shouldn’t have asked. Right. Let’s get this bed changed and your man can sleep peacefully for a while. He’ll feel much better being clean and in a clean bed.”

Kei mumbled tiredly when Shirley stripped off the covers but he’d exhausted himself and didn’t wake as they made the bed around him.

“I’ll take the things out. Make sure he doesn’t make a run for it.”

“I’ll try but he’s stronger than he looks. He might wrestle me to the ground and I’d be helpless.”

“He doesn’t need to wrestle you to make you helpless, does he?” Shirley said quietly.

Alex shook his head. “No,” he said. “He just has to smile at me."