Like a Train Wreck - 16. Chapter 16: Empty Halls

The boy saw Miracle nearing the church after looking up from the book he was reading, the candles hadn't provided much light but he had the book clipper flash light to shine on the pages, a tool that was shut off just before he closed the book and sat it aside. He stood up and walked over to the steps and down them, moving across the parking lot to meet the stranger half way and as he closed the distance, he realized that it was Miracle, someone he had watched from the distance, someone he had wished to know, someone that in a way he idealized and admired though some would probably think of him as crazy for feeling like that.

"Miracle." The boy spoke up. "I'm Cody."

"You must go to our school." Miracle said and then looked at the church. "Shouldn't it be closed? Or can you just hang out here or ... go in any time you want?"

"Well truth is, we live here. A small apartment in the basement, sounds dirty but it was renovated for it. My Dad is the priest and yes you can go in any time you want, that is why it stays lit up. I imagine the ones in the city lock up to protect from vandalism but this one stays open for those needing to seek ... well, whatever they are looking for. Peace, connection with God or just a place to be, to hide from it all."

"Then I'm definitely in the wrong place." Miracle frowned. "It's exactly what I'm looking for but exactly where I don't belong." Tears ran down his face and breathy crying sounds escape. "I just don't understand how a God could deny what he created the same rights as the rest of his creations."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because the book says so. And you know what is messed up? The people only look at the bad parts of it. They never look at the good parts. My Mom, my birth Mother taught me that this morning. If you want a good time, you have to look at the positives because if you don't, it's all just going to be bad."

"I look at the positives." His hand extended out. "Come sit with me?"

Miracle looked down at the offered hand and slowly took it. "I'm not all that religious, I just believe he exists and that he loves us. That's as far as I go with it. My main focus has always been on the worldly things, the beauty of nature, the idea of what people and the world it's self could be but won't be. Earth could be beautiful ... I guess you could say I focus more on making life as pleasant as possible and it's more of a life thing than a spiritual thing."

"There is nothing wrong with that." Cody said when he lead them to the steps and sat down on the porch at the top of the steps. "To appreciate all that God has made, it's thinking in the present tense and I think that is something he wants us to do, to deal with life and heaven just comes later. He provided us with a nice world and what we do with it was our choice and I think it was ruined." He looked over at Miracle. "It's because people like you are never heard."

He stared at Cody and a pained expression appeared and he quickly looked away. "I don't think that I am ever heard or understood, not even by those closest to me."

"I've seen it, from the outside and it looks as if you do it for the fun. You and Melanie have a lot in common or so it seems. I saw her visit at the hospital. I went to visit, it's part of the christian club mission at the school but I backed off."

"Me and Melanie are nothing alike." Miracle looked over at Cody. "I'd love what it looks like on the outside to be true but you have no idea what it's like on the inside. Brad was killed, I attempted suicide. What is going on is that very dangerous games are being played and I'm at the center of it all. Do you ... can you even begin to understand what that feels like? And my family, they didn't even know I existed until I was raped, I don't even know why they adopted me to begin with. Hunter is their pride and joy. And so when it all comes out, they just bring back Erica, my birth Mother to deal with me. And you know what? I'm glad they did." Miracle started to cry. "Despite what she did, I know she cares, I just know it."

Cody looked at him and it was truly heart breaking and all he could do was wrap his arms around Miracle and he pulled him close, holding him. "You need to get out, you need to find better people, somewhere safe. It's not that hard. Then again, maybe it is because ... it'll make you a heart breaker but it would be for your own good."

"Yeah and where would I go? Your christian club?" Miracle pulled away. "I'm sure I would really be accepted there."

"I don't know how they would take you. Robin...she is pretty high strung when it comes to things but maybe if we came to it from a mental and emotional perspective, maybe she could look past it. I mean it's not your sexuality that causes you problems, it's your nature, your habits to which, I don't understand what causes your impulses." Cody allowed him to pull away.

"That's a story for a different day." Miracle sniffled.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" Cody asked. "I don't think it would be a good idea to go back to that mess of a party, even if it only is to get your car."

"Well Jaemin has the keys to the car, so I would have to go back inside. Thing is if I don't move the car, people are going to be trapped in the drive way. It's my Dad's car..." He looked up. "My adoptive Dad that is. Still, I would be in trouble. He trusted me with it."

"I still just don't think it's a good idea." Cody again argued his case.

"I have to get my Dad's car. I have to, I promised him I would be good and he has been really good to me lately." Miracle stood up. "If you're so concerned, you could come with me. I won't tell anyone and it's just to get my car, we'll just go in, get the keys and be out of there. I'll bring you back here."

Cody knew if he got caught at something like that, his Father would freak. He looked around and then stood up. "Okay, just a quick in and out."

Miracle nodded and the two started their hike back to the house on the hill.

Three officers stood in the study, two of them were holding Jaemin and Sterling back from each other so that they couldn't further attack each other, both had bloodied faces and had pretty much caused just about the same amount of damage to each other, Sterling may have suffered a little more than Jaemin but they did get down and dirty in their brawl and Jaemin didn't get much of a chance after being tackled across the desk to really use his techniques.

The two male officers, one of them, the unnamed one was the same as the one that had come to Brian's the previous night, however Zach was not present at the scene, instead another unnamed officer took his place but Laquisha was present as she seemed pretty high in the ranks as a police officer.

"Well this seems like deja vu." Laquisha said as she looked around the scene.

"Sterling threw the first punch after he found out I had another boyfriend. I was cheating on him with Jaemin." Melanie said, another lie but one she was sure Jaemin would catch and follow along with.

For real? The girl had three boyfriends? Laquisha gave Melanie an odd look. Maybe it was the new times? All she knew was that people were a little less messy in her high school years, if an affair happened, it usually only involved one person.

"More fucking lies!" Sterling screamed at her.

"In fact there is something else I should admit to you." Melanie looked up at Laquisha with a fearful look in her eyes. "Brian really didn't have those drugs on him. It was all Sterling, he told me that if I didn't do what he said that he would beat me up real bad, he said that my Dad might find me in a ditch somewhere. I was really scared. Brian really didn't have the bottle, it was Sterling. That was how Miracle ODed on the medicine. The story was completely fabricated and I just did as I was told." Melanie faked crying. "I've never been more scared in my life."

Jaemin looked at Melanie, catching on to what she was doing and then looked at Sterling. "You son of a bitch, I can't believe you." He narrowed his eyes on Sterling.

Laquisha looked between the three teenagers, annoyed at this high school drama that the police department was being plagued with. She wrote a few notes down on her note pad. "And Melanie, why do you think Sterling would want to frame Brian? Aside from the affair? Do you think he has a stronger motive?"

"I know Brian has a history of drugs, he knew it too and that's how he came up with the idea. He didn't want anything coming down on him. Plus he was pissed because supposedly Brian was there when Miracle was raped but Brian swore to me that it wasn't true. He doesn't even know Miracle, what motive would he have?"

"In fact I found a disk that he had in his possession of Miracle and Brad sleeping together, I know for a fact that Brad has tortured Sterling for years and he had his perfect opportunity for revenge." Melanie took a deep breath. "The disk is in the computer." She looked down at it. "But it's broke, I don't know if you will be able to get it out."

The officer holding Sterling, looked at Laquisha. "What do you want us to do?"

Laquisha was quiet for several moments. "Honestly, I'm tired of arresting people based on stories." She looked at her fellow officers and then around the room. "The bottle was finger printed and the only finger prints on it are Brian's, Miracle's and Melanie's."

Jaemin looked over at Laquisha. "I don't care about the bottle. He assaulted me and I fought back in self defense. I want him to go to jail."

Laquisha sighed and closed her note pad. "Okay book him for assault, no charges concerning the bottle. His prints aren't on it and there is no evidence that he tried to frame Brian, given that, Brian will remain in custody for the time being unless something turns up. I am just going to let the judge deal with all of this crap." She frowned and tucked her note book away as the officers escorted Sterling out of the house and down towards the police vehicles.

"What the hell? What's going on?!" Miracle neared the police vehicles as they brought Sterling around to the back doors.

"Why don't you ask your new best friend forever." Sterling looked at Miracle and shook his head. "Is it really worth it? Is it really worth it to blind yourself for the thrills that Melanie and Jaemin provide? Or maybe it's the fact that I'm safe and you're afraid of safe because if it's safe it always goes away? Yeah, Hunter told me about David and he told me about Daniel." Sterling was then forced into the back seat of the police vehicle.

Cody looked at the scene and his eyebrows lifted. "My first insider into the life of Miracle. No offense."

"You...make me sound like some celebrity or something." He responded though his words sounded rather vacant as he seemed rather spaced out as the police left, his eyes fixated on the police cruiser that held Sterling captive.

"I don't mean to." Cody looked at Miracle, concerned.

Miracle stared at the fading headlights as if the world just shattered around him. "Cody ... could you just...get the keys?"

Cody saw the expression on Miracle's face and nodded. "Sure, I'll be right back." He walked closer and then a hand moved to Miracle's shoulder. "Don't go anywhere, okay?" He then moved to head up towards the house.

Melanie stood at the window, watching the cops leave and she turned around to look at Kevin and Jaemin. "Plan went off without a hitch, in fact it went better than as expected." She walked towards Jaemin and frowned. "Sorry you had to take a few blows for it."

Jaemin frowned. "Don't be, I fight for my love, at least he's going to where he belongs. And it's not going to stop here." He looked at Melanie. "But I think we're even now?"

"Are we?" Melanie lifted a single brow. "What about the text? Do you still want to go through with it?"

"I don't see how we could really convince him. He thinks it's a joke at best." Jaemin said, his hand touching at his face and he winced at the pain.

"Well it looks like my part is done. Have at it." Kevin moves towards the door and opens it in time to see Cody and he stares at him for only a moment before stepping around him to head out.

Cody walks into the office. "I need Miracle's keys. He wants to go home."

Jaemin looked over at Cody and narrowed his eyes. "I have the keys, I can take him home."

"I don't think he wants you to, he wants me to get the keys." Cody said, standing his ground.

"Jae, he might just want some space." Melanie said.

"It's none of your business." Jaemin looked at her. "We pulled off your stunt tonight, it's over." He looked at Cody and shook his head and walked out of the office, Cody quickly following as Jaemin headed outside and down the drive way.

Melanie sighed. "Well this is a bust, celebrating alone." She moved out of the study and grabbed a glass of champagne from a near by table and lifted it up for a sip.

Miracle frowned and looked over as the two headed towards him, seeing Jaemin and Cody and seeing the fact that Jaemin was all beat up. "So you got Sterling sent to jail? Got him out of your way?"

"Kevin called the cops and I didn't tell him to." Jaemin said as he reached the bottom of the drive way. "Lets just go home."

"I don't want to." Miracle said. "Just give me the keys."

"What do you mean you don't want to? Miracle, I love you, I fought him for you." Jaemin shook his head. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is that I'm sad and there are to many fucking reasons why." Miracle cried and a hand moved up to run through his hair. "I need to go away, just for a little while so please...just give me the keys. Let me go .... I'll come back, I just ... I need to go above it all and I need to do it with someone outside of everything."

"You need to go with him?" Jaemin nodded towards Cody.

"Jae...if you want to be better than Sterling, if you want to be my destined one then be it." Miracle walked closer towards him and reached into his pocket, taking the keys. "And understand why I need to do this. If you love me, you will and if you really believe that we are meant to be then you will trust me. I love you, there is no doubt but..." He looked down and shook his head. "I don't know what to believe with Sterling, I don't think he should of been punished." He looked up at Jaemin. "I understand what you and Mel are trying to do for me but sometimes, it's better to just let go."

Jaemin sighed and then nodded, wrapping his arms around Miracle. "Okay, you're right. I'm sorry, I am so sorry." He kissed the top of his head. "I'll just crash here for the night and you can pick me up tomorrow, okay?" He let Miracle go and looked at Cody. "You better take damn good care of him, you hear me?"

Cody nodded. "He deserves nothing less than the greatest care." Cody said and then he moved to the passenger side of the car, waiting for Miracle.

Miracle took the keys. "I love you." He spoke softly and then moved to the car to leave with Cody.

The doors to the elevator slid open as they found themselves on the 86th floor of the empire state building and he stepped out with Cody following behind him. The city lights and the cityscape in a grand view before them as they approached the windows and Miracle placed his hands on a wooden railing that lined the windows as he stared out.

"So I take it that this is a special spot for you?" Cody asked.

"I want you to do it. A documentary on me, that is." Miracle said. "I don't know why but if it helps someone else .... I think that it's worth it."

Cody looked at Miracle. "If I did, I wish I had my camera now because for some reason I feel like this is an important moment."

"It is." Miracle took his phone out of his pocket and handed it over. "It's not professional quality but it'll capture it."

Cody took the phone. "Are you sure?"

Miracle looked at him. "I said I wanted you to do it, didn't I?" His gaze then returned to the view before them.

Cody slowly nodded and then worked with the phone, setting it to record video and aimed it at Miracle. "So ... what is going through your mind right now?"

Miracle's eyes shifted downward. "Well, I'm above it all. To be so desired, you would think it would feel so good but when you realize how far people would go for you ... you kinda realize that it turns into a nightmare. And then you start to blame yourself and what's so twisted about it is that you wanted to be loved. You wished for it and now you feel like you're loved to much."

"That's really above you, to say you're loved to much. Most people couldn't get enough of it."

Miracle sighed and looked out of the window. "It's because ... I love so much myself. It's like a marry go round." He almost felt weak at the knees and out of breath, as if his stomach was sinking in on him. "You want love so badly but you want to give it back just as much and then one out weighs the other." Miracle's hands tightened around the wooden railing. "Have you ever felt this feeling, like you're caught in a frozen moment, as if life continues on but you are just frozen in time and everything just moves forward but you don't? Yet it doesn't hurt but then it does. You find peace in this moment because life just stops for you and for it all to just stop is like a god send because it all went to far."

Cody remained quiet, keeping the phone focused on Miracle.

"And you start to think to yourself that it might not even matter, like the finger prints you leave behind, ten years from now, no one will even know, no one will even see that you were there, that you left those finger prints there. And you start to wonder if any of it really matters. You start to wonder if everything that is happening now will all just end up being a distant memory anyway. And then, it makes you question why you even bother to try so hard. Who are these people? Will they even matter a few years from now? Will they even be a part of your life? Will everything you're going through even surpass high school? Most things don't. And then in those quiet moments when you find yourself in an empty hallway, you get a chance to experience what it's like to not be a part of it. You see the coldness of it all, the barren and cold loneliness because everyone is in class and everything is quiet and it all seems ... empty and you realize one day if you ever came back, you wouldn't matter to anyone."

Cody frowned, looking at Miracle, his heart truly breaking as he listened to every word.

"Shut the video off. Please, shut it off now." Miracle said, his voice cracking up as he felt a melt down coming on.

Cody quickly stopped recording and offered the phone back to Miracle. "I had no idea ... Your feelings are so deep, your thoughts."

"They just come from the heart." Miracle frowned and turned away from the windows. "We'll meet up maybe tomorrow or something, I want to progress this." He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, pressing the button on the elevator. "Bring a good camera, a really good one. If you don't have it, I'll have one bought. You have friends right? Every project has a crew." He looked at Cody. "If I am doing this, I want to do it right."

Cody looked rather surprised but gave a nod in agreement. "Doesn't mean we have to come and react this scene does it? Because the idea is to capture it naturally."

Miracle smiled a little and shook his head. "No, it'll be like an opening." He looked at Cody. "The bad quality could play off as giving that very teenager feel. I think it's useable." The elevator doors slid open and he walked onto it, waiting for Cody before pressing the button to head down.

"I'm really glad you're doing this." Cody said. "I mean not just for a project but to focus on you, to self reflect. It will give you some space."

"Yeah, well I want to associate with a guy that can actually just be my friend."

Cody looked at Miracle, a lingering stare and then he looked down and nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean." Could Cody be just a friend now that he was up close and personal? Could he keep his feelings bottled up? He had been watching Miracle from afar, that pretty much spoke for it's self.

Miracle walked into the front door only to be greeted by Martha who donned a yellow dress, a white apron and a pan of freshly baked cookies. His eyes widened. She had just taken the cake with stereotypical.

"How was the party? I wanted to bake everyone cookies. I just ... well I wanted to do something special with things getting back to normal and all."

Miracle stared at her in horror and slowly pushed the door shut. "Was it ever normal? I don't think I've...found normal yet."

Erica leaned a shoulder against the wall of the living room, right at the opening of the hallway as she sipped a cherry slushy through a straw. "Stereotypical." She mouthed silently to Miracle and then grinned.

Miracle eyed Erica from over Martha's shoulder and almost wanted to grin himself. "Well thanks for the cookie." He grabbed one and quickly moved around her to head for the hallway.

"Wait ... where is Jaemin?" Martha turned around.

Miracle turned around. "He decided to crash at Kevins. Yeah, and Sterling went to jail for assaulting him and it doesn't help that he got the blackmail disk and was going to use it to blackmail Jaemin out of my life. Oh and I'm making a documentary about my horrid life!"

Erica's eyes widened momentarily and then she took another sip of her slushy.

"Oh my god." Martha dropped the cookies and they scattered in a mess everywhere. "Where is the disk now?"

"Melanie was only supposed to borrow it from Sterling as a deal to help him to incriminate Brian for giving me the drugs by making out that he stole Melanie's drugs and something, sending him to jail and Sterling threatened that Melanie's Dad might find her in a ditch and then she exposed Sterling for all of it." Miracle's jaw dropped when Martha dropped the cookies.

"We need to get that disk." Erica said. "It will look bad on Miracle, especially with this whole Brad's murdered thing." Erica watched Martha get down on her knees in worry that she would mess up her carpet as she quickly went to pick up the cookies and throw them on the tray.

"Melanie said Sterling turned on the webcam without me knowing and then stole the recorded video, the disk, later. I know she lied about that but so long as I pretend I didn't know about the disk, it shouldn't matter." Miracle said.

"This is like a soap opera." Martha stood up with her now trashed cookies. "If you had just...." Martha stared at Miracle, not even knowing what to say.

Erica sipped her slushy. "Blaming him isn't going to help." She then looked at Miracle. "You really made the blackmail and then you got raped. Is there any detail missing?"

"Well it happened because I tried to blackmail Brad, he stole the disk back from my room. I was drunk, totally wasted when they attacked me. Several people are still alive that know that I made the disk."

"Did you admit to making it? To anyone other than Brad?" Erica walked further into the living room.

Miracle looked down thoughtfully and shook his head. "Just Sterling. And I never knew what happened to the disk after the rape. According to Melanie, Brian stole it from Brad's house after he was killed and then Sterling stole it from Brian and then she in turn tricked Sterling into giving it to her."

"Oh this is complicated." Erica sat on the couch, trying to organize her thoughts. "My drama was never this twisted." She took a deep breath. "So no one can say with one hundred percent certainty that you made the disk? Because Brad could of just been fiddling with your computer and stumbled upon it, thought you recorded it instead of Sterling. It could all be assumption."

"That could work if he didn't tell anyone that I directly blackmailed him, that it didn't come straight out of my mouth." Miracle sat on the coffee table.

"I need an asprin." Martha walked off to the kitchen.

Erica looked thoughtful. "Unless it took that much to get his friends to help him with his revenge." She looked at Miracle. "Suppose he really believed it was you that recorded it just because he found it and stole it from your room? And this girl, Melanie just stretched the truth about Sterling getting it that soon and that he really didn't find it until after the rape but still he was the one to turn the webcam on. Brad just ruined his plan and then Brad, like Melanie, stretches the truth by saying you vocally blackmailed him in order to get his friends to go to the extremes that they did when they hurt you?"

"Okay so he stretches the truth, that works." Miracle nodded.

"Don't own up to this information unless you are asked. Don't throw information at them, make yourself available, sure but don't volunteer anything to them." Erica took another sip from her slushy. "If any of Brad's friends tell the police that you vocally blackmailed Brad, deny it and use Melanie's story to your advantage, tell them what she had told you and that she showed you the disk and that is how you found out about it all."

"Okay." Miracle nodded and looked around. "I really don't want to worry with it anymore tonight. The blackmail turned everything into chaotic hell and I kinda just want to forget about it. I'll just handle things as they come."

Erica nodded. "Just be smart about it, think on your toes. You always need to have a story on the tip of your tongue. Fast thinkers can do that and I hope you took after me in that way. Not that I'm the best at it but I use to be pretty good."

Miracle smiled and nodded. "Yeah, well I'm going to go to sleep, I'm tired and this whole situation sucks. I don't want to have to frame anyone. I might just own up to the truth about making it myself. I am pretty confident in my alibi and the fact that if they look at my past blackmail attempt they will know if they compare it that I am not the type to go seriously far with it. As for what really happened to the disk after the attack, I honestly can't say." He stood up and headed off to his room.

It was just like he had pictured it in the movies. Miracle looked around as the officer opened the door, it was a cold looking room, lined with those glass booths with chairs on either side and the telephones that each person picked up, other than that the room was pretty much just large and empty. His eyebrows lifted, looking like a child in a lost place. Jail, it was certainly a place that he didn't belong.

Miracle looked over and saw Sterling sitting in one of the booths and they made eye contact. A nervous breath was taken, not sure what was going to become of this but he felt the visit needed to happen. Miracle walked over and pulled the chair out and sat down before reaching for the phone and bringing it to his ear to which Sterling did the same after a moment of hesitation.

"Hey." Miracle said.

"Why did you come? Not that I don't want you here ... it's just, you haven't been taking my calls before so ... why now?"

"Your calls?" Miracle looked confused. "You haven't called. In fact you ... the last time I saw you was when I tried to kill myself. I was told you didn't even come to the hospital."

"Who's been answering the phone?" Sterling asked.

"Jaemin." Miracle said. "He kept saying it was those eight hundred numbers."

"And then when your parents answered, they said that you didn't care to talk to me."

"I might have said that, maybe once." Miracle frowned and looked away. "What did you expect."

"I did come to the hospital. Jaemin told you I didn't, I bet? Did you even bother to ask your parents? The only reason I wasn't there when you woke up was because Jaemin beat me up."

Miracle looked at Sterling. "Really? If that were true, why didn't you tell me? Why did Melanie say all that she said?"

"She was supposed to help me tell you the truth, she turned on me, she saw me in the hospital when I was found and ... well she turned on me." Sterling shook his head. "Miracle, after everything, could you really believe that I didn't care?"

Miracle was quiet for several moments as he leaned back in the chair. "Sterling ... I don't know what to do now."

"Ask your parents, ask the hospital. Ask Sarah. You know, I was stupid to think that I had to depend on Melanie. It's just that I was bed bound, she was there and ... I just thought she would pass the message and then she said she wouldn't back me up until I helped her to frame Brian."

"It's not that." Miracle frowned. "It's Jaemin." He looked up at Sterling. "If he really did beat you up ... he loves me so deeply ... his love breaks my heart because I've never felt love like that before." He paused and shook his head. "I don't know if I can give that up."

Sterling frowned. "Miracle, I'm not stupid. The only reason we slept together, I know for you it was to alleviate the pain you were feeling. You didn't really want me. Even the brief time we did try to be together, your eyes were on him."

"Does that make you angry?"

Sterling shook his head. "No, as far as I am concerned Miracle..." Sterling felt this intense pressure in his chest, an urge to cry. "You're just a dream that could never be for me no matter how much I want it to be true."

"You don't want me, Sterling." He looked up at him. "I'm not a dream, I'm a nightmare hidden behind whatever it is that attracts people to me."

Sterling went quiet, not sure of what to really say, at least at first. "Maybe that's why you and Jaemin are drawn to each other. I won't lie Miracle, we can never be, we tried and that was all that we could do."

Miracle looked up, tears staining his face. "I'm going to get you out of here. I'll do it some how without incriminating anyone. Just ... give me some time, okay?"

Sterling nodded. "Okay ... and Miracle? I'm sorry but you have to understand where I am coming from, I can't lay my heart on the line again. I'll be your friend, I'll always care about you, even love you but ... I can't be with you."

Miracle looked at Sterling, his heart breaking. "I wish I could be that strong." He hung up the phone and got out of the chair, giving Sterling one last look and walking out.