Button - 10. Ten Pipers Piping

Ten Pipers Piping

“Are you making out a list?” Craig asked Graham. His husband was looking through cupboards and furiously scribbling on a pad of paper. It was their private little joke. Graham was pretty OCD when it came to some things, for example, shopping for company.

“No. I’m performing heart surgery on a chimpanzee. What does it look like?” Graham huffed. Craig could see the tension in his shoulders. Having Thanksgiving for both families had come about almost as an accident. It was their turn to host Craig’s family. Then, Graham’s parents announced they were going on a cruise for the holiday and Curtie, Janet and their four boys decided to come up for the weekend.

Graham had been so excited at first but now he was feeling the pressure.

“Everything will be fine,” Craig said rubbing his husband’s shoulders. “Just relax. No one is gonna judge you on dinner.”

“Oh yes they will,” Graham said after a pause. He let Craig rub his back and just let his arms hang loose. “My sister-in-law for one and your sister is like Martha Stewart.”

“Relax. It’s gonna be great. Having the house full of family will be fun. Then, that night Nancy, Sally, Josie, Natalie and Andy will come over for pie and coffee. It’s all good my love,” Craig whispered in Graham’s ear. “You’ll see.”

Graham leaned back and let himself go for a minute. Craig’s fingers could work magic on his nerves. His calm, rumbling voice made things feel so much better.

“Say, you left the radio on in the other room,” Craig said softly.

“Radio?” Graham said confused. “What radio?”

“Don’t you hear the music playing?” Craig said.

“Oh that,” Graham chuckled. “I think you should go in the other room and see ‘the radio.”

Craig shrugged and headed through the living room. It sounded like something classical but quite simple. As he entered the hallway, he stopped and listened. The sound of a clarinet and piano was coming from Sarah’s room.

Craig knocked on the door quietly and the music paused. “Come in,” he heard two young voices say. He opened the door and there was Sarah at her piano. Button, no Craig stood next to her with the clarinet in his hand. They were both smiling.

“Did you like our music Dad?” Craig asked. “We’ve been practicing for the fall concert.”

“It’s beautiful,” Craig marveled. “When did you two get so good?”

Craig shrugged and Sarah began playing again. Craig lifted his instrument and played the melody along with his sister. It was a very simple tune but his son’s control of the sound was amazing. Sarah had taken to the piano like a duck to water so that wasn’t as much of a surprise. Craig had just started playing the clarinet only a few months ago. Instead of angry squawks and squealing tones, the instrument sounded melodic with a warm haunting tone.

Craig listened and they did flub up a note or two but he’d never heard anything so lovely.

“They sound good don’t they?” Graham said putting his arms around Craig’s waist. “They play every afternoon after school. You’re not usually home when they practice.”

“Amazing,” Craig said clasping the smaller man’s hands. “Is he some kind of savant?”

Graham chuckled. “Craig, he’s not that good. He can play by ear though. It’s pretty cool.”

“Huh. Say, would you like to play for the family at Thanksgiving?” Craig asked.

The music stopped abruptly. Little Craig pulled his instrument from his lips and smiled. Sarah grinned happily. “Do you think anyone would want to hear us?” the little girl asked.

“Oh yeah. They are definitely going to want to hear you guys play,” Craig assured them.

“Okay,” Button said. “Then we need to practice Sarah.”

“Here we go,” she said and started the song over.

Craig watched in rapt silence. He felt his heart swell with pride.

*********************

Craig struggled with his backpack, his clarinet case, and lunch bag. He had too much stuff with him. Andy was at his side, as always, oblivious to his friend’s dilemma.

“Kevin and Brent called me names again,” Andy said quietly. Craig looked at his friend in alarm.

“They’re supposed to leave us alone,” he said sharply.

“I know. Mom said I was supposed to tell her if they bugged me,” Andy pouted. “But every time they just get meaner to me.”

Craig shifted his burden as they neared the school doors. “We can’t just tell on them all the time.”

Craig was thinking about his grandpa’s words to him.

“Button, when I was on the farm, we had chickens. Those darned things would single out a bird and peck the thing until it was bloody. Sometimes you just gotta peck back. Bullies won’t listen to reason, just like chickens won’t. Just peck back at them.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Andy said sadly.

“Maybe we just need to teach them a lesson,” Craig said. The two walked in silence as they got to their classroom.

As the two boys got settled into their seats, Craig noticed Kevin Dooley was glaring at him. His buddy Brent was snickering and whispering to him. Craig tried to ignore them but the harder he tried, the more they bothered him.

“Let’s get our readers out,” Mr. Carpenter announced. He was standing at the front of the room and smiling broadly as they got their books pulled out. “We’re going to start with chapter six. After that, those in band will head out to the music room.”

Craig smiled at that. He loved the music room and band practice.

After a short time, the bell rang. Craig grabbed his clarinet case and got up from his desk. About a third of the class did likewise and they walked down to the music room shuffling and talking amongst themselves.

Craig carefully put the pieces of his clarinet together while sucking on the reed. He looked over and saw Brent and Kevin Dooley giggling and talking to each other as they took their cornets out of their cases. Craig wondered what were they up to?

Band practice was great. Craig knew the songs well and his practice had paid off. Most of the other clarinet players had sounded so windy and the squawks were terrible. He sounded steady and carried the tunes well. It felt so good making the song dance and twist. Craig couldn’t help himself a couple of times. There was a transition that was too simple. Just a little counter melody would make it sound better. He’d added a little extra riff to those parts.

The music teacher had looked at him with surprise but smiled.

Craig went back to the dull music as it was written though. He didn’t want to get into trouble. That extra little touch added so much though.

After class, Ms. Thompson called his name and he went to the front of the room. He felt weird about what he’d done standing stiffly as he waited for her to talk to him.

“What was that little trill you added?” she asked Craig.

Craig didn’t know how to respond. He was red with embarrassment.

“It was very nice. Did you know there’s an arrangement with a trill like that?” she asked.

Craig saw she was smiling and so maybe he wasn’t in trouble after all. “It just sounded right, in my head I mean.”

“Well, it was very good Craig. You have good instincts. Do you want to try the version with the added counter melody?” she asked.

“Sure. I’d like that,” Craig said smiling broadly.

“Go ahead and put your clarinet away and I’ll find it,” she said. She walked back into the office behind her.

Craig went to the back of the classroom carefully pulling the mouthpiece off his instrument. He looked around for his clarinet case but it was gone. Most everyone had already put their things away. Craig looked toward the door and saw Kevin Dooley grinning at him, a malicious look on his face.

Craig grunted in disgust but refused to let the bully get to him. He returned to the front of the room past the chairs and music stands. That’s when he saw it. A plan formed in his mind. Kevin Dooley was going to get in trouble, but not because Craig would tattle on him.

Nope. Kevin Dooley was going to get in trouble for something entirely different. Craig was going to ‘peck’ back at him, for once and for all.

After slipping them into his pocket, Craig went back to his classroom and put the pieces of his clarinet in his desk. He closed the top and walked over to Kevin Dooley’s desk.

“Where’d you put my case?” he asked quietly.

Kevin just laughed at him. Brent, sitting next to him giggled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kevin turned, leaning over to whisper to his sidekick. That gave Craig just the right opening. He dropped them into Kevin’s open backpack and walked away.

Kevin and Brent continued to snicker and whisper until lunch time.

That’s when all hell broke loose.

“Who stole Ms. Thompson’s keys?” their teacher asked. He sounded really pissed.

Everyone in the class looked around. Craig looked as shocked as he could. He pointedly didn’t look over at Kevin and Brent. They were open mouthed with confusion.

“If you just give back the keys right now, you won’t be in trouble. Just give them back,” Mr. Carpenter said.

Everybody in the class shifted nervously in their seats. The students looked at each other to see who looked the guiltiest. Everyone looked shocked though.

After a few minutes, Mr. Carpenter started going through desks and backpacks, looking for the missing keys. It didn’t take long for him to find them in Kevin Dooley’s backpack.

“But I didn’t take them. I swear,” the boy said as Mr. Carpenter marched him out of the room. Craig just slumped in his chair and smiled. That oughtta teach him.

“You got him in trouble,” he heard someone say next to him. It was Brent. He was red with fury.

“Where’s my clarinet case?” Craig asked softly and coolly looking into Brent’s angry brown eyes.

“It’s in the closet in the hall,” Brent huffed. “You didn’t have to get him in trouble. It was just a joke.”

“Yeah, well so was the keys thing,” Craig said and went into the hall to get his case. He figured it would be a while before Kevin Dooley picked on him again. ‘Serves him right,’ he thought

**********************

Button stood next to his sister’s doorway and watched her dress up a doll. Her long brown locks were tied back and Sarah had an intense look on her face. She was determined to get the look just right.

He scanned the room briefly, his eyes set upon a picture in a frame next to her bed. It was her mother, their mother. She had brown hair just like Sarah. His mother was smiling in the picture and it was so like Sarah’s smile. She had a little bunch in her cheek and those eyes glowed, just like his sister.

“Oh, hi Button,” Sarah said looking at him with that same smile. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Button said shifting uncomfortably. “Can I ask you something?”

Sarah set the doll down and gestured for her brother to come in. He did so after quietly closing the door behind him.

“What’s up?” Sarah asked. Button was acting very strangely.

“Um, I was wondering,” he paused. He’d never know if he didn’t ask. It was something that was bugging him especially of late. Maybe his sister could help. “What do you remember about our mother?”

Sarah looked down. Button had never asked about mom before. He always seemed to ignore her existence. A couple of times she’d brought up mom but Button just ignored her comments. This was out of character for him and it was a little unsettling.

“She was nice I guess,” Sarah finally said. “I really don’t remember a whole lot about her. I was pretty little.”

“Yeah,” Button said sitting down on the floor. “I guess she wasn’t around much huh?”

“No, she wasn’t,” Sarah said trying to collect her thoughts. He was looking for something to grasp onto. Her memories of mom were murky at best though one particular memory came up and surprised her. It was a memory she would hold onto when she was scared.

“Sometimes she’d sing to me,” Sarah said. “When I was scared about something at night, she would sing me a song.”

She watched as Button’s face screwed up as he considered that. She wondered if he missed her or if he even could miss her because she knew he was really little when mom left him. It must be hard for him. But then, mom had left her too. That was what their mom did. She left.

“Thank you,” was all Button said. He flashed his sister a grin and got up from the floor.

Sarah watched as her brother left the bedroom. She noticed he gave one last glance over to her bedside table. It was the nightstand where the picture of their mom sat.

********************

“Tessa. We’re so glad you could make it,” Craig said giving the woman a quick hug. Natalie was at her side. She was Tessa’s sponsor and had been for the past year. Since then, it seemed Button and Sarah’s grandmother had made great strides in staying sober. Now she’d come to Sarah’s piano recital.

“Hi Grandma T,” Button said giving her a hug as well. “Sarah’s gonna be really happy you’re here.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Tessa said flashing a smile at the three of them.

Graham took her hand and grasped it eagerly. “We haven’t seen you in a while. How’ve you been?”

“I’m doing okay. It’s just one day at a time, right Nats?” she said nudging her friend.

“Yep. That’s all we can ask for,” Natalie said grinning from ear to ear.

Craig, Graham and Button settled in their seats to wait for the program to start.

“How’s the store going?” Tessa asked. She couldn’t help but give Button another hug. He was right next to her and cuddled into her embrace.

“It’s been really busy,” Craig said. “Never seem to get it all done.”

“That’s good though isn’t it?” she asked.

“Oh yeah. We’re thrilled at how well it’s doing. Southdale is a great location,” Graham said nodding. “We hardly ever see each other though.”

“Yeah,” Craig agreed. “If I’m not working, Graham’s at the store.”

“You should have a night out,” Tessa said. “I could have a visit with my grandkids.”

Craig looked at Graham and smiled. Both of them looked at Natalie who gave a slight nod.

“That’d be fun,” Button said excitedly. “I bet Sarah would be really happy about that.”

Craig and Graham agreed. It would be good for Sarah to finally have some time alone with her grandmother. It wouldn’t hurt Button either. He was always asking about Grandma T. They could tell he was worried about her.

“Well, let’s figure out the details over ice cream after Sarah’s program,” Craig said.

“That sounds great,” Tessa said. She looked at Natalie who gave an encouraging smile to her.

It had been hard but she was ready.

**********************

Tessa pulled out the bottle from the cupboard above her stove. She fingered the white Jim Beam label. It was her ‘safety bottle’. She used it when stressed. The kids were coming over in a couple of hours and it was more troubling than she wanted to admit.

Hell, she was scared to death. What if she did something wrong? What if the kids blamed her? It was worrisome and the bottle felt so comforting in her hands. The cool smooth glass made her feel better. That’s all she needed. Just the feel of the bottle in her hands was enough.

Tessa put the bottle back into the cupboard and went into the living room. She sat in her chair and turned on the television. It was an infomercial for some jewelry. The Home Shopping Channel was another guilty pleasure. It calmed her. Their mindless chatter settled her mind.

“Forget about the bottle,” she said to herself. “You’ll spend a nice evening with the grandkids.”

Then she saw the picture. Craig and Graham had given her a photo of Button and Sarah in a beautiful crystal picture frame. She picked it up and looked at it. The two kids were beaming in such delight. They had Aimee’s smile, both of them. There was that little scrunching up on the side of their mouths. It was her Aimee times two.

Her heart leapt in her chest. A sob demanded release. They weren’t her daughter. They were her grandkids. Tessa wasn’t going to let this feeling control her. It was stupid. Aimee was dead and gone and now her children needed her. She wasn’t going to let that damned bottle control her. It was ridiculous to think about Aimee’s smile.

Tessa set the picture frame back on the end table. Button and Sarah’s smiles were innocent and guilty at the same time, just like Aimee’s.

She needed to call Natalie. She needed to call Natalie right now.

Tessa got up from her chair and headed to the kitchen. She reached for the phone but looked down at the glass in her hand. Her heart was racing. Where was the phone? She reached up and grabbed the bottle again. It felt so nice in her palm. Cooling.

‘Maybe just a nip before the kids get here,’ she thought. Tessa turned off the television and turned on the radio. Some music would be nice.

**********************

“Natalie’s got it under control,” Craig said. “There’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Yeah,” Graham said softly. Their planned evening out was a bust. At first, they didn’t know Tessa was plastered but after a few minutes of discussion and watching her bump into furniture, it became clear.

“It’s a disease you know,” Craig said touching his husband’s shoulder. “It’s not like she can control it.”

“Do you know how awful Button and Sarah feel?” Graham said angrily. He wasn’t animated about it though. He was furious, complacent, and a little frightened. The kids didn’t want to leave. They wanted to stay even though it was obvious to them too.

“We’ll get them through it,” Craig said. “I’ll get Sarah settled into bed and you talk to Button.”

“I guess,” Graham said. “I just feel so bad for them.”

“We’ll get through it. We always do,” Craig said though he was feeling every bit as horrible as Graham was.

“Guys, it’s time for bed,” Craig announced as he walked into the living room. Button and Sarah were huddled together on the couch watching the end of ‘Mulan.’ Sarah was crying and Button was holding her hand.

************************

“Grandma doesn’t like us,” Sarah said to Craig. He’d gotten her under the covers but her tears were still flowing and it was killing him.

“Your grandma loves you very much. She’s just still upset about your mom,” Craig said carefully.

“Mom’s been dead for years,” Sarah cried. “Why is she still upset with us?”

Craig considered his words carefully. “Your grandma has trouble with alcohol, not you. She can’t stop drinking and when she gets upset she turns to it.”

Sarah looked at Craig sadly. Seeing her grandma so sick and woozy had been hurtful. Then there were the words she used. Grandma T had cried and held them and pointed to her mom’s picture. She kept saying they were mocking her. It was scary and didn’t make any sense.

“Do you like me?” Sarah asked wiping her eyes. “I don’t make you upset do I?”

“No darling girl. You make me so happy. I love you so much. Pop loves you too. He’s so proud of you and we are so pleased to have our little girl,” Craig said willing his tears to go away. “You’re sent from heaven to us.”

“You want me here?” Sarah asked. She wasn’t crying any longer. The feel of Dad’s arms around her was so nice. She felt good when he would hold her like this.

“I’m the happiest man alive to have you here Sarah. You’re home, you know that right?” Craig said with a catch in his throat. “Your home is with us.”

“Yeah,” Sarah said hugging him back. “This is my home.”

*********************

“Papa, will you sing to me?” Button asked reverting to his old name for Graham. “Please sing me a song.”

“Okay Button.”

“Hush little baby, don’t say a word…”

“Not a baby song. Sing me another song,” Button said a little angry. “I’m not little anymore.”

Graham shook his head. Regardless of the circumstances, Button wasn’t a baby. But, he was still his little boy. His own child, and with that thought a memory started to float to the surface of his mind.

Graham remembered long ago during a storm, his mother came in to comfort him. He could smell the rain as it splattered on the roof. It was the thunder that woke him up. He’d cried out in the night and his mom came running to settle him down. She sang him a song. That song had made him feel better. Graham wondered if that was what Button wanted or needed.

“I’m not a good singer but how about this one?” Graham said. He laid his palm on Button’s forehead and started.

“He’s got eyes of the bluest skies

As if they thought of rain

I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain

His hair reminds me of a warm safe place

Where as a child I'd hide

And pray for the thunder and the rain

To quietly pass me by

Oh, oh, oh,

Sweet child o' mine

Sweet love of mine.”

Button had closed his eyes as Graham sang. He was smiling. He was in a happy place. Button didn’t need to hear his mother sing to him. He had his Papa. His Papa sang to him and he could feel the love the man had for him. It was more than enough. His feelings of missing something, something important had dissolved.

Button never asked Graham to sing for him again. He had his song now. He had his memory and it was something no one could ever take from him.

‘Sweet Child of Mine,’ Writer(s): Duff Rose Mc Kagan, Steven Adler, Izzy Stradlin

Copyright: Guns N' Roses Music