Tales That Toby Tell - 22. The Last Song

Saying goodbye isn’t easy.

I know. I am watching Connor say goodbye to someone who loves him so much and he doesn’t even know it. God I know Riley’s heart must be breaking now but that’s life.

Let’s recap.

My name Is Toby, and I fell in love with Josh, the only out gay guy at my school. When Josh was a closet case, he had it all, popularity, friends and a lot more.

Josh was a talented football player for our school but he left all that behind to pursue a different dream, living his life truthfully. You can now see Josh rooting from the bleachers, for his favorite team, with the gay pride flag painted on his left cheek and his team’s colors on the other.

Most importantly, this man saved my life.

I also have a friend Connor, he used to be my best friend, and just as my adventure with josh began, so did Connor’s. You see, Connor is in love with me, but for some reason he couldn’t tell me and he decided to dress up like some masked freak and stalk me. He also ran away from home and I had to find him.

The drive home was quiet. The only thing you could hear was the tires of the car hitting the road. Josh occasionally looked at me and flashed a comforting smile. Instinct told me to rub his leg, or hold his free hand when it was available but I didn’t want to rub it into Connor’s face. Was this how it was going to be now? Me feeling guilty in order not to hurt Connor?

The sun was starting to set and we were still not home. Connor had fallen asleep and I took the opportunity to whisper some words to Josh.

“I know this must be weird, but I hope you understand…”

“I understand completely, believe it or not, Connor is kind of my friend too, I know how you feel, you don’t want to hurt him, well I feel the same way too,”

When we got home I delivered Connor to his mother who assured me that her husband will not see Connor until he makes peace with them, and I hoped that will be soon. I walked him up the stairs. His mother called family members to tell them her son has come home safely.

“You’re such a nice person,” Connor said looking down at his feet as he sat down on his bed.

“I am more than that, I am you’re best friend, aren’t I? You can tell me anything,” I said, trying to assure him that he does not have to feel bad about what has happened.

“Our friendship will never be the same. Every time I see you I will be reminded of the bad things I have done. Every time I see you with him I will be reminded that you chose him over me, that you love him and not me, I will never ever be the same again, I except that, I will respect you’re relationship but just know what I am feeling now is how I will feel every time I act odd around you two, I won’t interfere, you can be sure of that, thanks for handling it the way you did, I will apologize to Josh, but for now I would like to be alone,”

“Okay, I will leave you, night bud,” I said, saddened about the abrupt end to our conversation. I walked to the door but Connor said one last thing.

“I love you,”

I turned around and Connor was standing, crying. I walked back to him and wrapped my arms around him. I didn’t know how to comfort him, how do you walk away from someone that loves you?

“I love you too man,” I said, knowing he would understand that I will always be there for him, just not in a romantic way.

I walked out the house and Josh was standing in the driveway, the moonlight hit him perfectly, and he looked so beautiful, I felt myself speeding up, running towards him, he flashed me the most awkward smile yet as if he was saying “Geez you have only been without me for like ten minutes,”

“Take me home,” I said, and he did.

My house was dark and I knew my parents were already asleep, I lead Josh up the stairs, into my room and onto my bed.

I locked the door and threw my hoodie on the floor.

“Whoa it’s getting hot in here,” Josh said nervously.

“Well you’re here so that’s obviously the reason,” I said as I knelt down before him.

I started unlacing his shoes and removing them, tucking the pair of sneakers under my bed.

“Someday, I am going to make you Mr. Josh Tobey Smythe,”

Josh smiled and I continued to undress him, starting with his jeans, and then pulling off his sweaty t-shirt.

“I need a shower,” he said, blushing.

“No you don’t silly,”

“Well then, it’s my turn” he said before pulling my shirt over my head, ruffling my hair before he got down on his knees to take off my shoes. Before I knew it, his eyes were locked onto mine again, he then unbuckled my jeans without breaking eye contact. I felt my jeans dropping to the floor, and Josh lifted me, roughly throwing me on my bed. I admit, it turned me on as he spread his legs so that he was sitting on me, pinning my hands above my head, he wasted no time before locking his lips with mine.

“Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I,” Josh whispered.

“What was that?” I asked surprised.

“Nothing, just a song I know… reminds me of how in love I am with you.”

I don’t know why, but for some reason the next question seemed to be picking my brain, and I had to know. ‘Josh, do you really think we will make it,”

Josh looked at me funny, but then he started to think seriously for a short while. He rolled over so that he was lying next to me with his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“What are we looking at,” I asked, also starring at the white ceiling.

“I never thought I would ever see the inside of this room, I never thought I would be sitting on your bed.”

He wasn’t answering my question, maybe it was too much to ask him?

“You know what? Don’t answer that dumb question, I am just being silly,” I said hoping he would forget about it.

“No I will answer your question. The reason I am with you is because I love you and the goal is to marry you someday, if I didn’t want that with you, I would have never spoken to you in the first place, and I pray every night that nothing changes in your heart that would bring that to an end,”

“Never,” I said. I knew that was the truth and I realized the secret to a long lasting romance: Convince them of your unconditional love every day until there isn’t a single breath left in your body.

That night was filled with passion and a special, special bond had formed, or rather strengthened between Josh and I. We spent many nights like this, for a very, very long time.

The next morning I woke up with Josh’s warm body tightly latched onto mine. That’s something I have come to love and appreciate, the fact that josh knows that he needs my protection just as much as I need his.

It was Monday morning and we had to get ready for school. I laughed hysterically as I watched josh try to fit into one of my sweat pants because he had nothing to wear, he threw on a hoodie that almost exposed his entire belly.

“You look super gay,” I joked.

“I feel super gay!” he exclaimed while looking at himself in the mirror. A moment of silence came over us as Josh walked over to me, standing in front of me and tying my tie.

“You ready for class?”

“I am,” I said, unsure but Josh kissed me on my forehead making it feel better.

We left for school and I told Josh to stop at Connor’s house so we could give him a lift but his mom said that he left pretty early already, thanking me again for bringing her son home.

When we got out at the parking lot something felt weird, something was different. We walked into the gates of school and everyone was minding their own business, I didn’t even notice that Josh and I were walking hand in hand into school, which of course shouldn’t matter but I didn’t let go.

Everything was quite normal until I heard a high- pitched female voice yelling from somewhere. ”THERE THEY ARE!”

And everyone who was there, which I must admit, kind of looked like everyone had been gathering here for something.

The crowed was screaming in jubilation, clapping hands and shaking our hands, but Josh didn’t let go of mine.

“What’s happening?” I asked Josh as we slowly moved to the front of the crowed.

“I think everybody became pro-gay overnight,” Josh said, not believing his eyes.

Connor emerged from somewhere in the crowed and put his hands on josh and my shoulders.

“No, that’s not it, you brought back one of your own, you saved my life, that’s why everybody is screaming for you,” Connor said before hugging us.

“You did this?” I asked in amazement.

“Yes, but there is something else I have to do,”

Connor lead us up the front steps and we looked out at the large crowed of students and some faculty members had also came out to see the fuss. The following words that Connor proudly said to the crowed is something I thought I would never hear, especially from him.

“You see these two? He said standing in the middle of us. “They love each other, and they are my best friends. If any of you have a problem with that or try and make their last moths here hell, I will make sure you don’t set your feet in this school again,” Connor took a deep breath before speaking again.

“I spoke with the principle this morning and I have been given the go ahead to start an important movement here at our school, a movement that will make sure that no student, gay, straight or otherwise, will feel ashamed for being themselves, I encourage all of you to join, One day your brother or sister or even your children will walk into a school and they might be treated the way some of you have treated gay kids, today We can put an end to that,”

The crowed was silent. Some people looked unsure and others were bottled with excitement, the ones who were like me, I could finally see them in the crowed, they didn’t have rainbows hovering over their heads but I knew, I was never alone. A teacher started clapping and it caught in, Connor smiled at me and everyone yelled out his name. ”Connor! Connor! Connor...”

I looked up and I swear I saw him. It was Tim, the boy my dad had told me about, the boy who’s grave we went to visit, he was standing at the back of the crowed dressed in a school uniform. He smiled at me and walked away, like he finally found peace.

It was a long day. Connor, Josh and myself walked up the hill just as the sun started to go down. We had to stay for an extra three hours because so many learners came to us seeking friendship, and like one of them said, “A home away from home,”

“Garret? I would have never guessed,” Connor said as he looked ahead.

“What? He came out to you,” I asked.

“Yeah, it kind of makes sense, remember that time he had to do that assignment with me and he was super nervous and blushing when he was talking to me?”

‘I think Connor likes him,” Josh said, breaking his silence.

Connor blushed and we all became silent, we were all happy.

“You could be my silver springs, blue green colors flashing,” Josh started to sing as he looked at me.

“I would be your only dream, your shinning autumn, ocean crashing” I sang back, recognizing the Fleetwood Mac song instantly.

Connor joined in, somberly singing his line,” And did you say he was pretty, and did you say that he loves you, baby I don’t want to know,”

I rubbed Connor’s back, trying to make him feel better.

If you were walking behind us you would see three young men, walking off into the sunlight, and soon we went our own path, but every moment we spent together after that, brought us closer and closer together.