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    totallyy
  • totallyy
  • Author
  • 02/07/2016
  • 83 Words
  • 1,004 Views
  • 9 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Rhymes - 23. Hands

Poetry Prompt 7 - Blank Verse: Did you know?

Stranger, why did you take my hand in yours?

Your voice reverberates about my bones

Staying sweet slumber from my weary mind

And my cheeks burn from the sting of your jaw

Chafing brashly against my trembling lips.

Your eyes drowned out my belaboured breathing.

Did you know when you first stroked my hair that

You would hold my thoughts in your calloused hands?

Did you know then that your deft fingers would

Pry apart my mind and leave it spilling?

Copyright © 2016 totallyy; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Parker Owens

I have always liked the way you use words in your other poems. It continues here. This has a wonderful, breathless quality to it that you convey deftly and effectively. You have kissed someone unforgettably, here. Lucky guy.

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totallyy
On 02/08/2016 10:17 AM, Parker Owens said:

I have always liked the way you use words in your other poems. It continues here. This has a wonderful, breathless quality to it that you convey deftly and effectively. You have kissed someone unforgettably, here. Lucky guy.

thank you. :) i'm really glad you enjoyed it. it's nice that you read it in a positive light. the kiss came at great personal cost.

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Mikiesboy

This touched me. You let someone kiss you, but I'm not sure you wanted it completely. It hurt you somehow, is what I'm feeling.
It is beautifully written.
tim

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Emi GS

Wow!!! This is hot. I mean, yeah some what harsh but hot. I can see someone kissing you, you are not sure but enjoy that bliss and you never wanna let that feeling go.

 

The words you used, that feeling you put it through and the emotions you contained. Its just wow...

 

I Loved it. Nice poem... :)

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totallyy
On 02/08/2016 01:40 PM, Mikiesboy said:

This touched me. You let someone kiss you, but I'm not sure you wanted it completely. It hurt you somehow, is what I'm feeling.

It is beautifully written.

tim

thank you for allowing my work to touch you. it still amazes me that my work could express so much, not only the content of the words but the apprehension and conflict i feel in between the lines. thank you for the review.

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totallyy
On 02/08/2016 06:24 PM, Emi GS said:

Wow!!! This is hot. I mean, yeah some what harsh but hot. I can see someone kissing you, you are not sure but enjoy that bliss and you never wanna let that feeling go.

 

The words you used, that feeling you put it through and the emotions you contained. Its just wow...

 

I Loved it. Nice poem... :)

thank you for the review :D i'm glad you enjoyed my work.

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AC Benus

This is a heartbreaking question. It remind me of the theological one on whether or not the Creator created us to fail; born to be cast into hell by His design right at the start.

 

That is a cruel question, and so is the one you beautifully relay here.

 

Thanks for sharing this amazing poem.

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totallyy
On 02/11/2016 05:21 AM, AC Benus said:

This is a heartbreaking question. It remind me of the theological one on whether or not the Creator created us to fail; born to be cast into hell by His design right at the start.

 

That is a cruel question, and so is the one you beautifully relay here.

 

Thanks for sharing this amazing poem.

Thank you for the review. All these questions with no answers that our lives constantly present us with. I guess writing poetry helps me find the strength to stop seeking answers I won't find. :)

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Headstall

Wonderful. I've been shook up like this... I know the onslaught of emotions such an encounter can have. I hope it ended well for you, but the first word indicates there was nothing past ... this... powerful, evocative, and beautiful... there is no pretense here, only raw emotion... this is poetry... cheers... Gary...

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