Blueblood: A Dark Southern Aristocracy - 4. More Truth

What do I tell my mother? Did I want to tell her anything? Did she need to know? How do I tell her? And then I thought, why? I got a job! And that’s all I told her. I can tell her, “I got a job, but he sucks!” I warned you, humor is my defense. “And by that, Mom, he’s a vampire.” I knew that would go over well, not to be deceived, she’d have me at a shrink that afternoon! Was he a vampire? How I did know? He has no fangs now that he was on this…serum. Other than the picture I saw that was no evidence, but was that real? It had to be, how else could I explain it? It was him!

Colin was also teasing my mind. I even wondered if he was putting some vampire hypnotic mojo on me, but I didn’t think so. He seemed like a nice man…or vampire…whatever!! And he was beautiful! I know, that’s not the adjective you usually give men, but he was! Ruggedly handsome. How’s that? And those eyes! They were so…green! Forget the vampire mojo, he was putting the homo-mojo on me! All those stories mostly said vampires used sex to lure virgins or what have you so the vampire can have dinner. And Colin ate enough food not to need anything else. Yet he claimed he couldn’t store food. What? So, what did he do with all he ate? He ate a lot. It had to go somewhere.

We met every morning. I came to his suite, he had his morning caffeine fix and we went to breakfast.

I chuckled as he ordered another round of pancakes…then stopped the waiter to add more bacon. His eyes came over to me seeing my grin. “What?”

I shook my head. “You’re apparently making up for lost time?”

Colin laughed. “I guess I am.” Then as the waiter refilled his coffee, Colin leaned in. “You go a century or more without food and you’d be amazed how good it tastes!” He shook his head. “It’s so good!”

“I couldn’t live at all without food for even a month!” I said. “But you did consume something during the years you were….” I waved at him. “…you know.”

Colin grimaced. “And blood was all I could consume.” He grinned as the waiter put a steaming stack of pancakes in front of him. “The flavors here!!” He pointed at the pancakes as he reached for the maple syrup and pointed at me with his fork. “You just don’t know until you go without.”

I frowned trying to understand. “Do you gain weight or lose weight?”

He gave a shrugging nod as he stuffed a forkful in his mouth. “Well, I keep some in me a little while. My organs are working again, but not like they are supposed to…I assume.”

I frowned. “Okay, not to be indelicate, but input and output?” I grinned. “I’ve seen your input…”

His eyebrow rose. “You want to see my output!?”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t want to see it.” I chuckled. “But you have to do something with it.”

Colin gave another shrugging nod. “Well, sure. It’s a pretty standard shit.” He waved at my plate. “Just like you do.” Then he grinned. “I don’t piss ammonia anymore now that I can digest real food.”

Now my eyes widened.

“You don’t think vampires take a piss?” He said in a whisper and then smiled. “Like you said, input and output. Blood’s the input, ammonia is the output.”

I laughed at him. “I just never imagined it.” I waved at his plate. “I just was curious.”

Colin smiled. “And of course you would be. I am the first in reality you’ve ever met, right?”

I nodded. “That I know of.”

“And the fact that I defy what you’ve learned about us, I am different from you think you know.” He reached over and patted my arm. “So, ask what you want and I’ll tell you. I trust you, remember?”

“Is this trust because of a vampire ability?”

He gave a shrugging nod. “It could be.” He sighed drinking more coffee. “I like to think being…what I am, it just enhanced what I had before. I always had a kind of intuition about people. It could be because I lived as long as I have it just got stronger.” He shrugged. “I can’t answer that with any certainty.”

“But you did consume blood,” I said cautiously.

That made him look away from me a little from the shame I could see clearly. “Yes.” Then he looked to me firmly. “But I never killed a soul! Never!” Then he shrugged again. “I did assist some that were dying to do so more quickly and with no pain.” Even that shamed him. “I’m not happy about it.” He sighed. “During the war men often lay dying and suffering. They’d never recover. I did feed on them. I ended their lives, but I never was the cause.” He looked at me pleading for me to understand. “Understand? I didn’t do it. They were in pain and going to bleed to death whether I fed or not. From what I’ve seen and heard, being fed off of by us is sort of pleasurable. Almost sexual. I did help bring their lives to an end, but it was always pleasurable for them.” Then he looked away again. “I think. It was for me. When Brett Marshal attempted to take my life when he bit me, I remember this…euphoria and I will admit I had a raging erection as he did it. There’s something about a vampire when bitten it makes blood flow faster and I wasn't sexually attracted to Brett at all, it was just a side effect of being fed on.”

I shook my head again trying to make sense of what he was telling me. “But your blood was being drained. Blood is needed for an erection so how could it be maintained?”

He chuckled. “I didn’t say it lasted, but sex takes place mostly in the brain. The sensations during sex send signals to our minds and I lost the erection shortly after being bitten. But that didn’t stop the orgasm!”

“You did cum!?”

He nodding with a chuckle. “Like I was a teenager!” He grinned. “Cum isn’t blood and it did gush out.”

I felt a little embarrassed when he said that. “Colin, I’m sorry. This is very personal things we’re talking about. Any time you don’t want to answer a question, just tell me to let it go.”

He smiled for calmly taking my hand. “There is another thing I pick up on with my…gift.” He began softly. “I know you prefer men and I know there’s an attraction to me.”

Now it was my turn to look away embarrassed. “I wondered about that. I’m sorry.”

Now Colin looked understanding, but not offended at all. “Why? It’s a compliment. It’s who you are. I’ve been around over two hundred years. Now that the religious issues are kind of less important for me, it’s more normal that most people can accept. I loved a few men before.”

Now that, I was not ready for. “No way.”

He threw his head back laughing and then looked at me. “Now why would you say that?”

I waved at him. “You just…can’t be!”

“Can’t be what?” Colin grinned. “We didn’t have terms then like we do now. Men like you…” and he shrugged. “…and me…it was never really discussed back then. That just wasn’t done. It did happen often though.” Then he smiled a little evilly. “As a matter of fact, my first with anyone was a man that worked on our plantation.”

“A slave!?” I was shocked. Not because of the man’s color, but… “Did he have a choice!? How could he say no? You owned him!!”

When I said that, Colin got angry. “Listen! First, he wasn’t my slave, he was my father’s slave. I grew up with Josiah! He and I were friends. He could most certainly have said no. In fact, he kissed me first! That was so dangerous for him, yet he took a chance and did it, risking getting killed. That proved he loved me. He and I were fifteen! But I will say, because of Josiah I never bought a human being ever. I saw him and the others as people. They were just people who had this horrible life forced on them. Second, when I realized that fact and inherited the plantation from Dad, I paid them! I couldn’t help what happened to them, but maybe I could help. When I inherited the plantation, I offered every single one the opportunity to leave. I’d give them their papers saying they were free. But as I told them; they weren’t my slaves and I hated if they called me master. They were no one’s slaves. I was no one’s master. What I did offer was a place to live. I improved their homes and I mean homes. Not those little shacks where they were piled in on top of each other. I told them, we can add what’s needed, we could make lives better. I’d help! I worked the fields with them just as hard as they did. We took breaks when we were tired. But Josiah wanted to be free and it broke my heart, but he left. I couldn’t stop him. He was free! I was in my twenties when the arranged marriage happened. I liked her, but I didn’t love her. I couldn’t!” He shook his head helplessly. “But I never lied to her. I never cheated on her. I was her husband and we had a good life a few years. We had Gabriella and I never saw a more beautiful human being in my life!” Then he smiled to himself as he remembered. “I helped make her. It was so incredible! I could see her mother in her, but I saw me too!” I watched as a tear formed and began to fall on his cheek. “She was part of me.”

“It was just a surprise what you said; I didn’t mean anything bad about what I said.” I said sincerely.

Colin took a deep breath. “It’s okay.” Then he smiled at me. “I know you didn’t, I’m just sensitive about what we did then to humans. Ashamed. All I could do it provide a life for them. I paid them and when they felt they had to move on…” he shrugged. “That was their choice.” He grinned. “But amazingly, most didn’t want to. Where could they go? North, sure. Canada? Absolutely, but there were evil men on the way there and I tried my best not to be one of those evil men.” He chuckled. “In fact, my plantation made more money!!”

My eyebrows rose. “Really?”

Colin nodding laughing. “It really did! It’s amazing when you have people that profited from what they did. My crops were better than anybody else had. I tried to tell other plantation owners around why I was doing well, but they didn’t want to hear it.”

I smiled realizing he was indeed a very good man. “I can understand that, paying people they thought they owned would be unthinkable! They didn’t even have souls! You feed livestock, you don’t pay them.”

Colin smiled. “You read about that.” He leaned in closer. “Prove you have a soul.”

I nodded grinning. “That’s my point. And what about the souls of the men that slept with the women they owned. Did they not pass any soul to the children? How white does a man have to be to have a soul?”

He nodded. “Exactly!” Then he sat back. “But we did break laws!”

“You did?”

“My wife was in on it.” He chuckled. “She ran a school, not just for Gabriella but for everyone on the plantation. Young, old and that was very illegal. Educating people of that color was definitely not done.” He scoffed. “As if the color of a human meant a fucking thing.” He said angrily. “I loved Josiah and because of that, he taught me a lot. Love and respect for humans isn’t dictated by their color.”

I smiled. “You were and are a true visionary.” Now it was certain for me. I loved Colin. I was in deep trouble. But with his intuition, he probably knew that.

“I hope so.” He finally put down his fork. “Well, we should probably head to Wentworth Manor. The workmen will be there in a few hours.” He stood up, but stopped and looked at me. “Devon, if it’s right, it will happen naturally. But my life is a problem. I’ve lived for over two hundred years. You won’t.” He looked at me sadly. “I do like you and I know you like me. The problem is me. I’ll outlive you. I’ve lost too many people before.” He frowned. “I don’t want to become attached and lose you, but that has become moot. I already am attached to you. I think I was when we first met.” He shook a little. “I just am not ready…yet. Give me a few days or so. We’ll see. If you’re still interested.”

My eyes narrowed. “Can you love? I mean like a man, not a vampire.”

Colin nodded smiling. “I have. But they left me when they couldn’t deal with me and the truth. Not that I’m demanding or anything, but…” He smiled weakly. “A little more time, please?”

I took Colin’s hand. “Take the time you need. I don’t know what happened in the past. But I am interested.” Then I grinned. “I warned you in the beginning, you turn into an asshole and I’m outta here!”

His green eyes sparkled and he smiled. “I’m perfectly aware of that.” Then he grabbed me in a hug; right there in the restaurant in front of all the guests. He didn’t give the fact the others didn’t know or wonder if it was more than a friendly hug. In fact, I was sure he didn’t give a damn! Yea, I was falling in love deeper.

“And lay off this insight or whatever, it’s sort of creepy that you can read what I feel without me saying it.” I said in a little growl.

Colin threw his arm around my shoulder as we headed out. “Will do!” Then he leaned toward his voice in my ear. “But it’s written on your face, I can’t help it.”

We met with a man and went over what Colin wanted to be done. First, was to clear all the damned Kudzu! Of course, the road in would have to be cleared to get the trucks and equipment in to do that!

Colin led me through the remains of the house telling me about this grand home. “Now, I’m restoring it, but I’m also adding more. It will be Wentworth Manor again, but even grander than it ever was!”

I nodded. “Why not? You have the money.”

He nodded chuckling. “Well, those brothers up north aren’t the only ones that profited with hedge funds.” He grinned. “So, yes. I have the money. What was good is I did most of it online!” He shrugged. “When I started with the serum, it took a while to work well and I could go out in the day, but not all day.”

“But why New York?”

“They have a lot of city underground.” Colin said logically. “They have old subway lines and places a guy like me could stay…out of sunlight. I did that for decades. I would go out, look for…something to feed off of.” He held his finger up. “Again, I never took a human life. There were times I fed on other things…like a dog, cat a few horses, but again, I didn’t kill them.”

“And New York was where all the finance and economy was running full.” I nodded.

“You got it.” Colin nodded.

I hesitated to ask, but he said I could. “So, this Brett Marshal, the one that changed you. You had an issue with his brother.”

Colin frowned, but nodded. “Ashley Marshal was about to rape a woman on my plantation, her husband assaulted him to stop it.” He sighed. “He was about to kill the man for protecting his wife. I stopped Ashley and literally threw Ashley off the planation! He thought I offended his honor over a stupid slave and challenged me to a duel.”

Now it was making more sense. “And he lost.”

Colin nodded. “He did.” Then he smiled. “But when my turn came, I fired at the ground. Ashley was so outraged for furthering his dishonor, he took one of his witnesses guns and was firing again. I had no choice. He wouldn’t stop, so I had to kill him. It was self-defense.”

He was no killer. He never was. Any fear or uncertainty was gone completely now on my part. I trusted Colin without question now. I moved forward closer. “You may not be ready, but I’m willing to see what can happen.” I grinned. “Who wouldn’t fall in love with you? I am falling for you.”

Colin looked a little worried. “But you know what I am.”

I nodded. “I can’t offer you immortality on my part, but I willing to give you what I have so far. At least see where it could lead.”

He nodded and was about to walk off and then stopped and turned to me. He leaned close and gently pressed his lips on mine. It was almost chaste, but he smiled. “Be careful, I might accept what you’re willing to give.” He bumped his head against mine. “But I won’t make you suffer like I have. I could take a decade or two if you can love me. I’m pretty sure I could love you.” He put his hand on my chest. “My heart beats again, but the serum lasts from sunup to sunset. The next day it begins to change me back if I don’t take the serum.”

I smiled. “Even when you were a full vampire, you never killed. I’m not scared of you.”

Colin nodded, but looked at me seriously. “But I’m scared for you.”

“Why?”

“Because Brett might be still alive.” He said. “He’s dangerous and until I know for certain, you might be in danger.”

I frowned. “When’s the last time you saw him?”

“It’s been over a hundred years.”

I shook my head. “How would you find out if he’s still alive?”

“I can’t.” Colin admitted. “I’ll know if he’s alive when he shows up here. If he knows I’m here, he’ll come to finish the job and kill me.”

I didn’t like that at all. “Then why’d you come back?”

Colin gave a shrugging nod. “Because this is my home. And if he is still alive, my being here will force him out.”

“You’re making yourself a target!?”

Colin nodded. “I am.”