Lyrical Laments - 3. Chapter 3 Fractures and Judgement

Great poem Gary, I loved it. It has a certain harshness and brutal honesty that fits in perfectly  Some of the sentences spoken were like literally what ppl say, word by word. You simply nailed it, great job!

I honestly don't get what the controversy was all about.

I understand why u chose to censor the N word even though I don't think you should have to do it. I get that its because you don't wanna offend ppl. It does stick out a bit, but I don't think it takes away much from the poem itself. We all know what it means and we can just fill it the gap in our head.

Also I didn't know gimp was a slur...  I know what like a gimp mask is, but that's about it...

Oh and sorry if I suck at critiquing poetry...

Some powerful and angry writing there. Only matched by the poem about your father. The first has quite a sad tone to it, almost a lament. The second retains the rawness of a fresh assault. They make quite the pair

Oh my dear friend, you've pointed out some mighty Truths here, and I'm sorry to say that I've been guilty of some of them myself in knee-jerk reactions, even though I knew better.  Everyone is of value and equal without exception, but can anyone truly say that they've never harbored fear for someone/something different from their experience--even for a millisecond?

Fear of the unknown is hard-wired into our deepest instincts as a survival trait, without it Man would have become extinct long ago...but in today's world, it's bred divisiveness and intolerance mainly through the influence of some religious and political systems who wish to control everyone else rather than promote individual thought.

We know what roles religion and politics have played in the past, so I won't go into that here, except to say that any ideology can be twisted by those who wish to control others for their own profit.  We were given brains to think for ourselves, and it is sad that so few people will do that, preferring to be led by others who are 'experts' in areas we don't care to learn about for ourselves. 

It is another sad thing that the concept of Political Correctness even started--first because some thought it necessary to impose it on Society rather than educate people in the right way to behave...and secondly, because it only deepens and hides the intolerance for those who don't fit 'The Norm'.  You can't force Respect and Understanding, you must teach it from the cradle onward.  How do you do this--simple: by Example and Free Discussion.  If you can't talk about an issue, you can't solve it.

I'm done, the soap-box is back in the pantry so I can reach the higher shelves in my cupboards....

On 6/27/2017 at 2:25 PM, sweetmamajama said:

Great poem Gary, I loved it. It has a certain harshness and brutal honesty that fits in perfectly  Some of the sentences spoken were like literally what ppl say, word by word. You simply nailed it, great job!

 

I honestly don't get what the controversy was all about.

I understand why u chose to censor the N word even though I don't think you should have to do it. I get that its because you don't wanna offend ppl. It does stick out a bit, but I don't think it takes away much from the poem itself. We all know what it means and we can just fill it the gap in our head.

 

Also I didn't know gimp was a slur...  I know what like a gimp mask is, but that's about it...

 

Oh and sorry if I suck at critiquing poetry...

Thanks, sweet! You do not suck at critiquing poetry at all... and your comments are appreciated  . I'm really pleased you saw the honesty in this. It was a poem inspired by the feelings I often get around Pride. It's meant to be a reminder of all the hate present in the world. I won't dwell, but the message was important for me to put out there. Thank you for understanding it  

On 6/28/2017 at 1:31 AM, Bucket1 said:

Some powerful and angry writing there. Only matched by the poem about your father. The first has quite a sad tone to it, almost a lament. The second retains the rawness of a fresh assault. They make quite the pair

Thank you, B. Yeah, a lot of anger to be found in Judgement. You're right that Fractures was a lament... so deeply personal to write those words... and let loose the pain. Thank you for your perceptive and supportive comments.  

On 6/28/2017 at 6:34 PM, ColumbusGuy said:

Oh my dear friend, you've pointed out some mighty Truths here, and I'm sorry to say that I've been guilty of some of them myself in knee-jerk reactions, even though I knew better.  Everyone is of value and equal without exception, but can anyone truly say that they've never harbored fear for someone/something different from their experience--even for a millisecond?

Fear of the unknown is hard-wired into our deepest instincts as a survival trait, without it Man would have become extinct long ago...but in today's world, it's bred divisiveness and intolerance mainly through the influence of some religious and political systems who wish to control everyone else rather than promote individual thought.

We know what roles religion and politics have played in the past, so I won't go into that here, except to say that any ideology can be twisted by those who wish to control others for their own profit.  We were given brains to think for ourselves, and it is sad that so few people will do that, preferring to be led by others who are 'experts' in areas we don't care to learn about for ourselves. 

It is another sad thing that the concept of Political Correctness even started--first because some thought it necessary to impose it on Society rather than educate people in the right way to behave...and secondly, because it only deepens and hides the intolerance for those who don't fit 'The Norm'.  You can't force Respect and Understanding, you must teach it from the cradle onward.  How do you do this--simple: by Example and Free Discussion.  If you can't talk about an issue, you can't solve it.

I'm done, the soap-box is back in the pantry so I can reach the higher shelves in my cupboards....

You do well on your soapbox, buddy, and I want to thank you for your reaching out. No one should expect perfection, but our hearts should always be in the right place, and if they aren't, self examination can only help us as people. I don't want to step on any soapbox, so I'll end on this thought. When we look inside, do we like what we see... are we being true to ourselves, or are we being puppets and slaves to distorted views? I know that's easier said than done... if my poem makes one person think, I'm happy... much, much love and respect, dear friend  

Self examination...sigh.  A couple times in my life I've done things I wasn't proud of, mainly in anger...but that passed in a few minutes, and then I felt far worse for letting that take hold however short-term, and spent a long time feeling guilty and trying to find ways to make up for it.  My mom's temper, then my dad's sober thinking at work. 

I try to bear this in mind when others do something against me...but it's so hard to forgive them if they are people I was close to for years and felt I could trust.  My best friend from high school was the worst, and sadly, it broke our friendship when he allowed his fiancee to convince him to withdraw his offer to be his Best Man in favor of her younger brother...people he'd known only about two years.  We'd been through so much together, and it never occurred to me that he would do such a thing.  There was no way I could trust him again, especially since the woman didn't like me, and he'd likely always take her side.

No, I've always tried to treat others right, but sometimes things hurt so much you just have to let the person go....

xoxoxoxoxoxo my dearest friend!

On 7/1/2017 at 5:04 PM, ColumbusGuy said:

Self examination...sigh.  A couple times in my life I've done things I wasn't proud of, mainly in anger...but that passed in a few minutes, and then I felt far worse for letting that take hold however short-term, and spent a long time feeling guilty and trying to find ways to make up for it.  My mom's temper, then my dad's sober thinking at work. 

I try to bear this in mind when others do something against me...but it's so hard to forgive them if they are people I was close to for years and felt I could trust.  My best friend from high school was the worst, and sadly, it broke our friendship when he allowed his fiancee to convince him to withdraw his offer to be his Best Man in favor of her younger brother...people he'd known only about two years.  We'd been through so much together, and it never occurred to me that he would do such a thing.  There was no way I could trust him again, especially since the woman didn't like me, and he'd likely always take her side.

No, I've always tried to treat others right, but sometimes things hurt so much you just have to let the person go....

xoxoxoxoxoxo my dearest friend!

That is a terrible story of betrayal, CG. Yes, there are times we have to take the blows, learn our lessons, and let those people go... I often wonder... do we ever really know someone? I have been blindsided a number of times, and it never hurts less... it's something I can't guard against without changing myself... what I can guard against is bigotry, judgement, and racism in myself. Hate needs more hate to fuel itself, and if we let ourselves be victims of that, we lose. In the time of our youth, bullying was condoned... I don't think that is an exaggeration... you were expected to ridicule those who were different... even kids with glasses were targets, for God's sake. There was one right way to be... 

I f'ing hated that!! And, I still do... thanks, buddy... I have to stop talking and thinking... love you xoxoxo G-man

I have no doubt bullying was condoned then--you were supposed to 'toughen up' and stand up for yourself.  I guess I was lucky in that the worst I got was being pushed or having my books knocked out of my hands...but there was also the snickers and laughter.  How is it right that a little kid should 'take it like a man'?  And if you got a parent involved, chances are it would be worse next time....

I address this more in my comment on Chapter 2 of Quinndk's Safeguard--check the story out if you haven't yet.

xoxoxoxoxo

Fracture seemed very sad but honest. 'Brutal reality slaps like a switch' this words made my heart ache. Reality can sometimes be really cold and brutal.

But Judgement was what touched me the most. I m in awe. It was RAW! It speaks so truly of the narrow mindedness of humans that I almost flinched when I read it. I could sense the bitterness in your words, n how deeply hurting it must be to come out in such awfully harsh form. Wonderful!! It is really like looking into the mirror.

I m honestly in appreciation of your writing!! Thankz for writing this.

On 7/4/2017 at 3:44 AM, ColumbusGuy said:

I have no doubt bullying was condoned then--you were supposed to 'toughen up' and stand up for yourself.  I guess I was lucky in that the worst I got was being pushed or having my books knocked out of my hands...but there was also the snickers and laughter.  How is it right that a little kid should 'take it like a man'?  And if you got a parent involved, chances are it would be worse next time....

I address this more in my comment on Chapter 2 of Quinndk's Safeguard--check the story out if you haven't yet.

xoxoxoxoxo

The worst part about bullying back in those days was how people quickly looked away. It met with little obvious scorn... it was accepted. I remember one story about two gay men caught at a campground and thrown off a cliff into some kind of quarry... I heard it second hand... third hand... I don't know the truth of it, but people laughed. It was a traumatic thing for me to hear... and it affected me deeply....

9 hours ago, Aviana said:

Fracture seemed very sad but honest. 'Brutal reality slaps like a switch' this words made my heart ache. Reality can sometimes be really cold and brutal.

But Judgement was what touched me the most. I m in awe. It was RAW! It speaks so truly of the narrow mindedness of humans that I almost flinched when I read it. I could sense the bitterness in your words, n how deeply hurting it must be to come out in such awfully harsh form. Wonderful!! It is really like looking into the mirror.

I m honestly in appreciation of your writing!! Thankz for writing this.

Yes, bitterness is a good word for my feelings when writing Judgement... I don't have any use for people who think themselves superior, nor for a faith that preaches such. Fracture is very personal, and was pure me. 

I'm so pleased to hear you say that Judgement was like looking in the mirror... that means so much to me. We should all look in our mirrors from time to time. Thanks, Aviana... you rock   Cheers... Gary....

Quote

Ugliness

Once seen

Can never be unseen

Unfortunately ugliness seems to linger.  My only defense is to focus on all the beauty of life I can.  It makes the ugliness less significant when it is surrounded by beauty.  I may sound a bit naive, but this does work for me.

Judgement was a very powerful, angry response to all the hateful people and things said by arrogant people steeped in their own ignorance.  Two great poems.

6 hours ago, raven1 said:

Unfortunately ugliness seems to linger.  My only defense is to focus on all the beauty of life I can.  It makes the ugliness less significant when it is surrounded by beauty.  I may sound a bit naive, but this does work for me.

Judgement was a very powerful, angry response to all the hateful people and things said by arrogant people steeped in their own ignorance.  Two great poems.

Hurt often translates to anger, and I was feeling all kinds of hurt at the time. 

No, you don't sound naive. We do what we have to to keep on an even keel. We learn how to cope early on, but life still manages to catch us off guard, often in the worst ways. I rely on beauty too. Thanks, my friend.