Trick Me Once - 4. Break the Ice

It was about 10 pm when Cody and three of his friends arrived at the bar. They were some guys he recently met in college, so they didn’t really know each other that well, but they seemed like genuinely nice people. Although they were all straight, they had no problem with him being gay, as they already had some gay friends from before. Cody found that they had a lot in common, so it was easy to talk to them.

As they started looking around to see if there are any free tables for four, Cody noticed Trick sitting with his friends. He was tempted to go over there and say hi right away, but he knew it probably wasn’t such a good idea. Also, he was nervous as hell. He thought he should wait for a while, maybe catch Trick before he leaves… In any event, he is going to talk to him tonight, his mind was made up. He couldn’t let him go without asking him if he read the letter and apologizing in person.

Cody’s friends quickly found them a table, so they all went over to sit down and order drinks. It was a really fun party – the music was great, the people were friendly… Now if only he could get Trick out of his head, it’d be a perfect evening, but he couldn’t. He was trying to participate in the conversation and enjoy a night out with friends, but his mind and his eyes kept wandering off to Trick.

After a while, Trick finally noticed him sitting there and they made eye contact. It was brief, but it was enough. Cody was still nervous, so he tried to put on a smile and wave to him, to which Trick just nodded and then turned to talk to Zoe. Making sure he looked presentable, Cody got up from his chair. It’s now or never. His mind was racing, thinking about what he wanted to say to him. He already wrote it in the letter, but it was a thousand times more difficult to do it in person. Still, he knew he had to do it. He wanted to do it!

Slowly, as if he was going to take the most difficult exam for which he hadn’t studied at all, he moved across the bar toward Trick’s table. Once he got there, all eyes were on him: Zoe, Brad, some girl he didn’t know, and Trick all looked up at him.

“Hey guys, how’s it going,” he scanned them quickly and nodded, trying to put some semblance of a smile on his face. Even though he expected it, there was no unpleasantness – everyone said hi to him, even Trick. That’s a good start, right? Well, here goes nothing…

“Patrick, do you have a minute?” he asked, now feeling just a bit braver.

“Sure,” Trick replied, somewhat surprised at himself. He still wasn’t sure how this was going to go down, but he wanted to find out. He’s a big guy now and Cody can’t bully him anymore.

“Can we, uh, go outside and talk in private?”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

With that, Trick got up and followed him out the door. Once they were out, they walked over to a nearby bench and sat down. It was already dark, but the street lights illuminated the place. There were no people nearby, which was what they both wanted. It allowed them to talk in peace without being interrupted or overheard.

“So, uh, how do you like it here? I mean, in college?” Cody asked nervously, deciding that starting with some small talk would be good to break the ice. And there was a lot of ice to break!

“I like it a lot so far. The city is pretty great, too,” Trick replied, still cautious of his former schoolmate. He didn’t know what to expect from him. The mistrust he felt for Cody was rooted deep within him.

“Yeah, it is. I hear you’re studying IT, that’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, I guess. What about you?”

“I’m in landscaping. That’s been my dream…”

“Cool, I didn’t know you were into that.”

“Yeah, I also work part-time at Prescott Park. It can get a bit tiring, but I like it.”

A slightly awkward silence of a few seconds ensued. They both knew they didn’t come here just to make small talk, so Cody decided to get to the point.

“So, uh, did you get my letter?” He knew he did, but he had to ask. He looked up and briefly looked Trick in the eyes, before looking down at his hands.

“Yeah, I did… I read it,” Trick replied, knowing that that would be the next question.

“Patrick, what I wrote there is true, I want you to know that,” Cody now turned to him and looked him in the eyes again, this time holding the gaze. “I am really sorry for everything. I… know that I hurt you… We all did, Mason, Logan and others… I’m so sorry. You were one of the nicest kids in the class, and we treated you like shit.” His voice was weak and cracked.

“Yeah, you did,” Trick said, trying to remain calm. He thought Cody really looked sincere, as if he really meant everything he wrote in that letter. Still, his heart and head were telling him to be careful. He didn’t want to get hurt again.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but I hope that maybe one day you can forgive me… Do you think that’s possible?”

“To be honest, I don’t know… It sounds easy, and I’d like to just forget about everything, but… I don’t know if I can,” Trick was honest. He knew it was probably the right thing to do, be the bigger person and forgive someone who is showing remorse, but he wasn’t sure he could do it.

“Ok… I’m not asking you to decide now, but please, think about it. I really am a different person now, and I’d like to show you that. Maybe we could meet up one of these days, go for a coffee and just talk?” He took a chance. It was a long shot, but who cares, he had to.

Trick decided to just go with it. He’d hear Cody out and whatever happens, at least he’ll get some closure. Maybe he’ll manage to forgive him and move on, or maybe they’ll go back to not talking, but at least he’ll deal with it in some way. It’s better than what he’d been doing these past four years.

“Ok, why not,” Trick said. As the words came out, he could see that Cody was a bit surprised at his response.

“Well… ok!” A smile broke across Cody’s face. “How about next Thursday? We can meet at the coffee and juice bar near the campus?”

“Ok. Is 2 pm good for you?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect,” Cody said and once again put a shy smile on his face.

“Well ok then… I’m gonna go back to my friends now, so… I guess I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“Yeah, see you!” Cody said, relieved and a bit hopeful. Maybe things will work out after all…

The boys went back into the bar, rejoining their groups of friends. Brad and Zoe had their eyes on the two of them as they entered, wondering what happened outside. They couldn’t wait to hear everything from Trick – if he’s willing to share, of course.

Next day, the three of them were sitting in Brad and Trick’s room, having breakfast. Zoe didn’t even try to make an excuse for coming over. She just said she’d come to hear what happened last night. As usual, Trick was not very talkative, but he didn’t hide anything from them. It’s just the way he was – a man of few words.

“So, what did you guys talk about?” Zoe asked as she was pouring milk over her cereal.

“Well, he wanted to apologize… For high school, for everything,” Trick replied. “Said he was sorry, that he hoped I’d be able to forgive him, and that he wanted us to perhaps be friends.”

“And? What do you think about all of this? You think he’s being honest?” Zoe asked. Brad was just eating his breakfast in silence, listening to the two of them. He was skeptical of Cody and protective of his best friend. He didn’t want to see Trick get hurt again.

“I don’t know, to be honest… He seems to be sincere, but how can I trust him? I mean, I’d love to believe what he says is real, but I just don’t know…”

“Just don’t get carried away, ok? You’re a lot smarter now,” Zoe advised him.

“Yeah, I know… We’re meeting up next week.”

“Really?” Brad finally spoke. He couldn’t hide his surprise.

“Yeah, just going out for coffee. He wanted to talk to me and show me that he’s changed. I said yes, I figured it couldn’t do any harm.”

“Are you sure about this, man? I don’t trust that guy… I’d like to, but I can’t forget how he treated you,” Brad was now even more concerned. He wanted to trust Trick’s judgment, but how well did any of them really know Cody?

“I know, but hey, I’m a big guy now and he can’t bully me anymore. Besides, we’re meeting in a public place, not like he can do much with all the people around,” Trick replied. He was trying to sound relaxed about it, but he knew Brad had a point.

“Just… call me if he tries anything and I’ll come and tear him a new one!” Brad declared.

“Ok, bodyguard,” Trick replied, chuckling.

--

As Thursday was approaching, both Cody and Trick were feeling increasingly more nervous, although for different reasons. Cody was trying to process what happened during their last encounter and what it all meant. He knew he shouldn’t get his expectations too high, or else he could get disappointed. He had to remind himself that they still hadn’t really made up, but at least they broke the ice, and that was something. A few months ago he didn’t think that was even possible, but there they were, sitting and talking like normal people.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he started making plans for what would happen when Trick finally forgives him and they put the past behind them. When that happens, he would finally be able to tell Trick how he feels. However, Cody knew that might never happen and that he shouldn’t be making any plans, so he quickly dismissed those thoughts.

It’s better to go slow and just think one step at a time, but even that made him a little nervous. Not like a few days ago, when they met at the bar, or when he left him that letter. That took a lot of guts, but the worst was over, or so it seemed to him. Now that they’ve established some communication, things should finally get easier.

Trick was also spending more and more of his free time thinking about his upcoming meeting with Cody. He completely neglected the work on his app, which was still unnamed. He almost felt embarrassed when Zoe asked him about it.

“So, I’ve installed the app and connected it to my music library. Now what? It’s gonna track what I play and match me with people with similar music taste?”

“Yeah, exactly!”

“But there are no options to set up my preferences, like for example age or gender. What if some 60-year-old woman has the same music taste as me? It’s gonna match me with her?” Zoe asked, raising her eyebrows. Trick then realized he may have forgotten a crucial part of the app.

“Uhhh, yeah, I may need to work on it a bit more,” he said, making Zoe chuckle.

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”

However, he couldn’t deal with the app right now, his mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of Cody and their pending meeting. He was so conflicted about it and he hated it. Why couldn’t he be interested in some other guy with whom he has no history?

On one hand, he knew very well he still had feelings for Cody, so he naturally wanted to find a way to forgive him and at least try and be friends, just so he could have him in his life. On the other hand, his feelings for Cody were precisely the reason it was so hard to forgive him. Cody hurt him like no one else ever had and he didn’t know how to get past that.

If he hadn’t gotten harassed so much in high school, maybe he wouldn’t have become this awkward guy with zero self-esteem. He would be able to actually talk to people and make friends. He’d be able to go to parties and not feel like everyone was looking at him, waiting for him to embarrass himself and then laugh at him. If he wasn’t so anxious around people, maybe he’d actually be able to ask guys out and start dating.

He felt so handicapped because of this, but he didn’t know how to change. Of course, he blamed the high school jerks for all of this, and one of them was Cody. How could he ever forgive him when he had to live with these consequences every day? He just didn’t know what to do… He wanted to forgive him, but he also wanted to get even – make Cody feel the way he felt, make him suffer and see what he had put him through. He knew it was awful to have those thoughts, but he couldn’t help it, he wanted revenge.

After racking his brain all afternoon, he decided to get up from the bed and make dinner, as Brad would be arriving soon. That would take his mind off of things. It’s better to stop thinking about it so much and just try and let things happen on their own instead of fighting them. Thursday will come soon, and whatever happens, happens.

Once again, huge thanks to everyone for reading, commenting and liking this story. The responses have been overwhelming!
See ya Thursday at 2 pm near the campus!