Jamie - The Journey Begins - 14. CH14 Hope the beers are on ice...

After our night of beer in beautiful warm El Paso, some surprise tequila and enough Mexican food to feed a small army, I thought I’d catch up with another buddy of mine that was in the fire service out here - Anthony.

We’d meet two years ago when he was on secondment in Australia in what turned out to be a particularly bad fire season back home. We’d formed a close friendship and remained in contact through email and social media. I promised that if I was over this way I’d call in, and he’d beaten me to the meet up call. Apparently, he’d been following my adventures and video posts on my Facebook feed each day.

I think my comment ‘for all those following at home’ was well received, with loads of suggestions to go here and there as we headed along Interstate 10. Not to mention their want for souvenirs - family! So… beers at Anthony place tonight after a day of sightseeing for Lucas and me, plus some awesome video for the diary too.

It was a great night, sitting around, talking shit and catching up with Anthony and his now-wife, Maree. She is a fantastic woman - true southern girl, all sweet and accommodating, but don’t ever cross her or answer back else, well y’all let’s just say ‘extinction level event’ would be heading your way.

I had my hands full politely dodging all the sticky questions about my ex-wife. “So, Jamie, Anthony tells me that you’ve made some big changes in your life. How’s single life going?” Maree asked with a well-knowing smile on her face. “I have to say, and I’m sorry for butting into your business, but you are better off without her. I can’t say that we saw eye to eye from day one, and that whole scene she started up at Christmas dinner was… well, sad, and your poor momma and daddy, Jamie, I felt so bad for y’all. Your ex was being just plain… unreasonable.”

I grimaced somewhat remembering that Christmas dinner, it was like death by a thousand cuts. “Unfortunately, Maree, for my family and friends, that was the case most of the time. She had the skill of alienating people - even my sister and her kids stayed away when we were at family gatherings. That’s why I worried in the end doing family stuff with Tracey around - the feeling of dread I felt waiting for the shit she’d do that would ultimately fuck the day up for everyone because of my wife. I guess she had a particular way about her.”

As the night went on, a few more beers, Lucas was busily snapchatting away. I looked over towards him. “Hey buddy, you okay?”

“All good, brother.” Lucas looked up. “How about another beer, Jamie, please?” he asked with a wink and smile, then he was head down back into it.

Anthony and Maree, looked over and laughed. “Someone has his attention? You two boys look and act like brothers more than cousins, don’t you think Anthony?”

Maree smiled ever so sweetly while looking at me but throwing that to Anthony. “Look, Lucas has the same look on his face that Jamie had a while ago. Hmmm… who were you so busily messaging before anyways Jamie?”.

“Ummm, well...” Josh if the truth be known.

Anthony dived in and saved my ass. “So, Jamie, how’s the job going back home? Are you still being blocked by that asshole District Manager?”

“Well, yes and no on that front.” I brought him up to date with the all the goings-on between the OM and ACO with the associated blood-in-the-water that goes with all firefighter politics. “On a good note, just as I was boarding my flight over here, I got word of my acceptance to the Commander’s course.” I couldn’t hide the smile that wrapped my face.

So started the not so subtle recruitment campaign. “Jamie,” Anthony jumped out of his chair with a huge smile on his face and shook my hand. “You should put in for a placement here. Once you’ve finished your course, buddy you’d kill it over here. Your skills in brush, grassland and urban interface fire - what a great opportunity for you to start fresh.”

That broke Lucas out of his messaging frenzy, looking genuinely surprised. “What - you’re getting promoted? You didn’t tell me that. Fantastic buddy - you deserve it.” Lucas did a small double take. “Jamie, didn’t Tom say that you guys were in recruits or college – something at the same time or other?”

“Yeah, but he got promoted quicker than me. That’s how he ended up here and a captain in the LA County FD.” I was feeling a bit down when rethinking that. Thanks Simon Kelsey you Son-of-a-bitch!

“Anyway, thanks Anthony for the glowing reference, but I think I’m happy in Oz. I’ve just bought my own place and an investment property too.”

“We have standards here too, Anthony, remember.” Lucas yelled out from the other side of the deck area, whilst balancing an empty beer bottle on his nose without success, he did manage to catch it in his hand before it hit the floor although.

“Yeah, really - standards?” I shot back pointing at Lucas.

“You two are hilarious, Jamie - more like brothers and close friends?” Anthony threw in.

At that we both went “Ew … my dad and your mom,” I countered looking at Lucas.

With his “Wha…? What’s wrong with my Mom? How about your Mom with my Dad?”

At that we both went “Yuck!!” in unison “NO WAY!!” I think it was more the thought of our parents having sex, really.

Anthony didn’t seem to be convinced with my ‘thanks but no thanks’. I could see the cogs ticking over in his head.

“No, Anthony!” (Which he ignored.)

..o0o..

Originally, we had only planned to spend a day plus our arrival in El Paso. I was keen to get closer to some family in Austin, TX, plus there are a few pride events coming up further east soon, and I’ve never been to any. So, I am keen to have a look-see. Anthony had other plans and wasn’t taking to the whole secondment, ‘thanks but no-thanks’ idea at all, which I was to find out the next day.

“Jamie, this is our district Chief.”

I stuck out my hand, “Good afternoon, Sir. Nice to meet you.” My years of training kicked straight back in: whilst I wasn’t in uniform, so no saluting, I instinctively came to attention when I shook the chief’s hand.

I thought we were just going to have a look around his station, you know like firefighters do. Can’t go past an opportunity to have a look at the appliances. Seems Anthony had other ideas.

“So, Firefighter Spence, Jamie. Anthony here tells me that you’re one of the guys he served with in Australia during the Alpine Fire Campaign?”

“Ah, yes Sir, I was in the same team as Anthony. He’s a fantastic firefighter and mixed in well with us.” I smiled at Anthony who was looking on like a kid watching for the candy to drop from somewhere.

“Anthony told us all how you were his sector commander a few times in very challenging conditions, Jamie.”

I smiled an uncomfortable smile. I felt like I’d just been busted for trying to downplay my role with Anthony. Well, I guess that’s what I just did though, right?

“Come into my office here so we can talk. Anthony tells me that you’re about to go on promotion and then will be eligible to participate in the inter-service program, but you need some convincing on how this would be a good career move for you.”

The Chief ushered us both into his office and closed the door, commencing a ninety-minute explanation of why this would be good for me and his fire service. It felt somewhat like a cross between a job interview and sales pitch at the same time. I’m not going to say that I didn’t come out of the meeting with some thoughts about it and promised the boss that I’d consider it once and if I get through my course successfully.

After saying goodbye to Anthony and Maree, with loads of promises to catch-up again soon, I offered them a place at my new house at Christmas of they wanted some warmth. Maree happily replied, “I enjoy the cooler months in Texas. It’s nice to get out of triple figures for a while, Jamie, and Christmas in Australia was like a mid-June here. But we’ll see, okay?”

“No problems,” I replied, and with that, handshakes and kisses all round, Lucas and I climbed into the truck after we repacked it somewhat, our extra purchases along – okay, cases of wine for family back home and to keep us going too - but they were slipping about and needed some attention.

“Jamie…” Lucas inclined his head in my direction as we pulled away from Anthony and Maree’s.

“Yeah, Lucas.”

“You know you were totally set up yesterday at Anthony’s station house, right?”

“Yes, I know.” As I turned and looked out the window as the houses started to fade out to open grasslands.

..o0o..

“Ah-ha! He’s awake! Morning, Lucas. Welcome to the land of the living.”

Lucas just plain ignored my smartass comments and moved on.

“Well, we’ve got the family covered with all the wine we bought, Jamie. Shit - how many wineries did we stop at on the way down south? It felt like a dozen.”

“Easily.” I replied.

Lucas started to laugh, “That guy at the last place, Rory wasn’t it?”

Yeah, “Ready Rory.” At that we both burst out laughing.

“Ready, that’s for sure! Shit, Jamie, that guy almost stripped you with his eyes when we walked.”

“I know, right? The guy would look at home on a ranch somewhere. Did you see the size of his…” Lucas looked at me like I was about to give him the missile launch codes. The look on his face was shocked, to say the least.

“Hands Lucas, hands-was what I was going to say. Geez buddy, get your mind out of the gutter.”

Lucas smiled and looked out the windshield as we watched the landscape change before our eyes. After some time enjoying the quiet and relaxing, Lucas decided that we needed some music so started to fiddle with the wheel controls cranking up a new playlist we’d put together in Phoenix last week.

“Yes, I can’t get enough of this new song ‘High Hopes- Panic! at the disco’ - love it.” I was gently rocking away to the music, sipping on my soda. I needed some sugar to fuel me up.

Fresh from swapping drivers for the run into Austin, Lucas looked totally at home driving my truck. It was a nice warm day out - loads of sunshine, with the Vintage styled ‘Oakley frog skins I’d bought us both in Phoenix earning their money today. “Hey, before we know it Jamie, we’ll be pulling into Aiden and Mandy’s drive with a nice home-cooked meal waiting for us.”

“I know, right?” I turned to Lucas with a smile. “What - we are now like only a few hours away, right? I’d prefer beer and pizza, really. It’s nice of your brother and his wife to put us up for a few days, right?”

“Yeah, Mandy went nuts at me when I told her and Aiden that we were just going to stay at an Air B’n’B apartment. She was telling me all about the new house they’d just bought in West Lake Hills and all the space they had - we’d be no trouble. Plainly, she wasn’t taking no for an answer. We’re staying at their place.”

“I know. I remember the ear bashing she gave me, Lucas. Why did you give her my number anyway? Shit man, we’re in this together, remember.”

“Nope, I didn’t give her anything Jamie. It was your Mom.”

I shook my head with a smile. “Goddamn, my mom is… jeez… she is truly everywhere.”

“I know, I know.” Lucas half-smiled, “You need to slip free from her apron strings.”

“You reckon!” I replied with some frustration in my voice. “If it’s not mom telling me how to live my life and hovering over me, it’s that ass ex-father-in-law at work making my career a shambles! Fuck, look at Tom - he’s a bloody captain here and we went through recruits together. And let’s not forget Steph.”

“No one forgets Steph, well not at their own peril anyways,” Lucas replied, then started to laugh.

Laughing, I just looked out the window. The wide-open country side had slowly given way to more and more housing. There was still lots of farmland around, but the city sure has grown since I was here last, eight years ago.

..o0o..

“Hey, thanks for swapping drivers, Lucas. Think I had reached my limit.”

“No worries, buddy. I enjoyed the nap from Fredericksburg to here.”

As we pulled back on the highway and cruised along, it was all very chilled out in the truck. We’d just refuelled the truck at Chevron, and made a stop at Grape Creek Vineyard and Pizzas.

“Jamie, those pizzas were amazing.”

“I know, right, and more booze too - maybe we can pay your Aiden for our accommodation in booze - what ya think, Lucas?”

“Yumm - wouldn’t mind opening a few bottles tonight with my brother and sis-in law.” Lucas smiled at me, nodding his head to the music playing.

Grabbing my cell I flicked through the playlist, finding my saved monster dance hits. I looked down and started to shuffle thought the playlist. “Come on Lucas, let’s get some real tune-.”

Next second, all I heard was Lucas yell out, “OH FUCK!” Looking up from my cell phone, movement caught my eye. “FUCK,” I echoed. Another car came at us side-on, slammed into our truck. It was like slow motion - everything, time, just slowed down. Before I knew it contents of the centre console flew sideways over me. I felt my body slip sideways towards the door and window side glass, as the seatbelt pretensioners grabbed tight.

The sound the car made as it impacted the truck was like a bomb going off. I’m still not sure if it was the impact of that or the sound of the front and side airbags deploying, but the last thing I remember was a huge bang and smoke everywhere.

I lost consciousness for a few seconds – Christ, it could have been hours I have no idea. The pain of my head bouncing, flopping about like a rag doll, smacking against my chest and then shoulder, the impacts bought me back to consciousness.

As I opened my eyes the cabin was a wreck, stuff everywhere. Silent but loud ringing in my ears at the same time. I could head in the distance hissing, - must be the sound of the other car’s cooling system venting - the hot burned smell of anti-freeze, the smell the actuators, the fire the airbags make, coupled with the corn-starch powder, hanging in the air.

I was in sensory overload - all information flowing into my head and I couldn’t process shit. The scene surrounding me was pretty much like what I would see at work, but obviously I was seeing it from the other side. It was all getting too much for me, overwhelming . I was confused, then… it all went dark.

Lights on, everything in my head reeling about, someone has hit the rewind, fast-forward buttons in my head, like those movies almost, maybe that’s where they got the idea, what the hell am I talking about. Someone called out for help.

I must have passed out. As I rolled my head around a bit trying to get my eyes to focus and brain to come off snooze mode, the destruction in the cabin looked the same as before. My senses were slowly kicking in, intermittently though, it was like I was half-drunk.

An overwhelming thought ran through, my own voice in my head like a recorded loop was ‘No - not again. I’m not going to let anything happened to Lucas.’ The cabin started to spin. I swallowed - it tasted awful. ‘I can’t lose anyone else in an MVA. No, please god, not again.’

I jerked in my seat. I’m back here again - must have passed out, again. This can’t be a dream, can it? Wow, if it is, fuck me - it’s a realistic one! Maybe I should try and pinch myself and wake up. I tried to move my arm - nothing.

“Austin – Travis County 9-1-1 do you need police-fire or EMS.” A voice echoed through the cabin.

911 assist must have automatically dialed the operator - Thank you Josh. It was the voice of the operator that had bought me back to consciousness.

“Hello, is there anyone there?” the voice said again somewhat urgently. “Austin – Travis County 9-1-1 do you need police fire or EMS.”

I was still trying to focus on what was happening around me, the cabin was still full of smoke and corn-starch dust, uncommon sounds and smells, it was just confusing me. Finally, I was able to focus my mid-somewhat. I felt like I was back in the driver’s seat in my head somewhat.

‘Come-on Jamie, fuck-sake, speak.’ “I need,” I croaked out, swallowing to try and refocus – shit, that tastes bad.

“Hello is someone there, this is the 9-1-1 operator.”

“I need,”- pausing for a second to take a breath, I felt like I’d run a marathon, badly - “EMS, I need EMS, and Fire.”

“Okay Sir-”

I spoke over the top of the operator. My thinking was impaired and breathing too. By the time I needed to stop and start talking, my timing and responses were just overlapping. “We’ve been in-a, in-a MVA.”

“Okay, sir. Where are you? Do you know your location?”

I started to cough. My brain came alive as I could taste that coppery sensation in my mouth. I was bleeding and swallowing it - can’t be all that good.

“Sir, are you there?”

“I’m not… I’m not sure where we are,” I uttered, taking a breath to keep talking.

It was becoming harder to speak. I was still trying to get my mind, mouth and senses in the same sync, but failing to at all.

“I think… were on highway… 290 East.” The world started to spin again. ‘Fuck! Where is Lucas?’

Oh my god, where were we when I looked up last? I was trying to remember. “Somewhere near Cedar Valley, I think...” My voice trailed away.

The operator’s reply came quick-fire. “Can you see anything around you, sir? Any land marks or buildings?”

A few groaning sounds came from the driver’s side of the cabin, “Lucas!” I turned my head some to get a closer look at him. Relief swept over me for a moment, seeing that the windshield hadn’t been perforated by a 165-pound sun-bleached, brown-headed projectile. Thank god he’d been wearing his seat belt. His head was slumped forward and to the side, there was blood dripping from his nose and the side of his face. I couldn’t see where it was coming from - the cut or whatever was on the left-hand side of his head.

Everything was starting to speed up a little - my senses were like a PC after a reboot, slowly coming back up. “I can see a gas station,” I called out, lifting my head some. “A Chevron gas station.”

My eyes started to search the wreckage that was the cabin surrounding me. I was looking, trying to find my cell to get our latitude / longitude position, but I couldn’t see my cell. Lucas’ breathing was sounding rattled - he needed help.

I could see movement in the distance, people running over to us. Behind them was a sign - Southstar Bank – “I can see a sign - it says Southstar Bank.”

The operator had heard me and pounced on the vague ramblings of the crashed Aussie.

“Okay sir, we’ve got you. You’re on highway 290E. We’ve got the location of the Chevron gas station and the Southstar Bank. You’re in Southwest Austin. We have EMS on their way. Now stay with me, sir.”

Reaching across, I grabbed Lucas’s wrist and felt for a pulse. He was alive. Thank fuck! I let out a breath, but his pulse was thready and erratic. I could feel tears picking my eyes.

“Is there anyone in the car with you, sir? Who is Lucas? You keep saying Lucas?”

“My cousin, Lucas.” My voice training away again, painfully I swallowed. It’s getting harder to focus - I must fight it - I need to stay awake for Lucas - I need to get him help.

“Lucas… he’s unconscious, but breathing,” I mumbled out.

“He has,” I tried to look closer at him. “He has blood dripping from his nose, and the side of his face.”

“Okay, sir. What’s your name, please?”

“Jamie.”

“Okay Jamie. Is Lucas conscious? Is he awake?”

“No, he’s slumped forward against the seat belt.”

“Alright Jamie, stay with me. Can you see anything with Lucas? Is he bleeding?”

“I can see it running down his neck.” I needed to take a breath - just speaking was becoming harder and harder. I had that familiar feeling - broken ribs for sure, I self-diagnosed, you know, because three-quarters dazed and in shock, you’re in total cognitive control, right?

Coupled with the difficulty I was having in breathing, plus every breath was like a razor blade sticking me in the side, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve punctured something.

A few bystanders arrived at the truck asking if we were okay. I could hear someone calling 911 - so hopefully, they’d get the address right.

“Are you there still, Jamie?” the operator asked.

“I’ve got some injuries. I’m not sure about the driver of the other car.” I could hear the sirens in the distance. ‘Oh, thank god!’ was all I could think –that, and ‘Aw fuck - Mom is going to have a shit fit over this.’

“Jamie,” a raspy voice called me.

“Lucas, don’t talk. Just hang in there. Help is coming.” ‘Oh god, please don’t let him die. If he does, I don’t want to live. I can’t go through that.’ I could feel a few tears spilling down my cheek.

“Sorry.” Lucas managed to whisper out. He went all quiet again, a tear rolling down his cheek.

‘Oh god, no!’ I could feel tears burning up my eyes. “Hang in Lucas, please.” My voice was cracking with emotion and pain.

“Hey, you! Big fella! what’s your name?” I mumbled out to the guy that was standing beside the truck window. He was on his cell phone and looking at me and down beside me, directing or explaining something to the caller.

“Mike,” he replied as he leaned into the cabin.

“Okay Mike, help me. Please?”

“What can I do?” He asked, with concern written all-over his face. “The EMS are on their way.”

I managed to croak out, “I need you to go around to Lucas here,” nodding with my head, “and see where he’s bleeding from - the blood, where’s it coming from, please.” I was sure I wasn’t making much sense, but I was lucky to be able to string a few words together. I guess years in the job, these instances become like a muscle memory. I couldn’t tell you what I had for breakfast at this moment, but I could direct someone to stem bleeding. What, can he understand me? I thought at first. Mike was just standing there for looking at me.

“It’s okay, I’m a firefighter, please” I croaked out again. “I need your help with my cousin… till EMS arrive. Please.” My voice was trailing away at each sentence.

I tried to move again. All I could do was bite down on the searing pain in my chest and side, trying not to scream, but the pain was too much, I could feel my consciousness slipping.

‘Oh fuck! I shouldn’t try that.’ Everything was starting to feel hot and spinning. I closed my eyes for a second to try and get my balance, focus back, it was becoming increasingly harder.

“Okay, Mike, please.”

He must have moved while I closed my eyes for a second. I saw him leaning in the window looking at Lucas. Lucas’ hair was all matted and clumped with blood, almost like he’d been swimming and just got out of the water.

Mike had a very real, scared look on his face. “I think something cut his face open just above his eyebrow, all the way to his ear, I think. There’s a lot of blood coming out.”

The 911 operator jumped - in she could hear our conversation from the in-car kit of my now totally fucked truck.

“Sir, I need you to find something, some clean soft cloth and bunch up in your hand and press it down on the cut. Okay, can you hear me? With your other hand, support his head and stop if from moving while your pressing down to firmly to slow the bleeding. It’s important we stop him from bleeding. Do you understand, sir?”

“Yes,” Mike answered somewhat unconvincingly, but he was going to have a crack at it.

I nodded in support of Mike and the operator. He seemed a little relieved.

“Once you find something, we need you to keep it there till the emergency crew arrives. Can you do that for me?”

“Mike,” I croaked out.

“There is,” I nodded with my head again, “a tee on the back seat. Can you see it? Use that.”

Mike looked over thru the space between the front seats. He reached in and his hand found a towel that was on the seat amongst all the debris that was all over the place. I’d forgotten that was even there, I thought to myself.

The 9-1-1 operator called out to us. “The EMS crews are almost there. Have you found anything to press on the wound?”

“Yes Ma’am, I’ve got a towel that I’m pressing against his head,” answered Mike, with a palpable tone of fear in his voice.

“That’s good. You’re doing really well. The crews are almost with you.” The operator was doing her best to keep Mike calm and focused on stemming the bleeding. Lucas was out to it.

A feeling of total helplessness was washing over me. I felt so frustrated, too. Helpless, and pinned in place – shit, I couldn’t do much more than speak and that was becoming a challenge, let alone use any of my skills to help my cousin. Lucas is one of the few people that l love more than anything. If I lost him, I just wouldn’t want to go on.

I tried to move again, to see if I could see where the EMS were, or if Mike was stemming the bleeding. The look on his face was concerning - he looked petrified.

“Fuck it, I hate not being able to do anything,” the words only just escaped my mouth, but I was angry, at myself for not being able to help Lucas, for being physically pinned here in the truck, but most of all, I was worried for Lucas. I love that guy more than life.

I was having trouble even remembering where I was or seeing straight. An overpowering need to puke was surging through me. I knew what that was - my stomach was filling with blood. That explains the pain.

Suddenly I could hear voices yelling and doors slamming in the distance, the EMS and Fire crews had arrived. “Please,” I managed to feebly groan out, “help Lucas. He’s hurt.” I tried in vain to lift my hand and point at him. I knew he was still alive, as I had kept hold of his wrist with my left hand. I could feel his pulse still.

Mike yelled out, “Over here! This guy is bleeding.”

Mike jumped out of the way of a paramedic who had taken over holding the towel against Lucas’ head.

“There’s no getting him out here. This other car is wedged under,” someone else was saying.

I heard them call for the cutters and covers. ‘Oh no, they’re taking the roof off my truck.’ I could feel tears well up again and then a few slipped down my cheek.

Really! I thought to myself, ‘Surely not my truck getting cut up.’ No, it was the realisation that we were in a serious accident. Lucas’ arm moved. The paramedics were working to stabilise him now,

“It’s okay, sir. You can let him go now. We’ve got him.” A mystery voice spoke to me.

As Lucas’ arm slipped from my grasp, I felt alone and vulnerable, injured. It was like keeping physical contact with him was supporting me mentally too. I was getting scared. “Lucas - please look after Lucas,” I was pleading with them. Tears were on the move again. I started to tremble all-over.

Without warning, a face appeared in front of me. “It’s okay sir.” The sweet southern Texan drawl filled my ears.

“We’ve got him now. We’re going to get a good look at you in a second. We just need to get this roof out of the way. We’re going to cover you over for a second to protect you, okay?” he said, as he slipped a pair of safety glasses over my eyes.” Then a warm, nitrite-gloved hand took mine.

“I’m Ben and am going to stay with you till we cut the roof off and get you out, okay?”

I heard the familiar noise of the rescue tools cutting into my truck, opening the cabin. ‘It must be bad. Oh, my truck!’ The realisation kicked in finally. That’s not going to polish out. I let out a chuckle.

I remember coming home not long after getting my license as a kid with Gav in the car, having had a small interaction with an old gum tree. The car came off second best. Funnily enough, I saved that tree and street from a fire last summer. Guess that tree taught me a thing or two.

The voice started again. What was his name? Lee? Glenn? No, it was Ben, I think. His voice was filling my ears over the sounds of the machinery, telling me it’s all going well, that he’d have us out soon.

The machines stopped and the sudden familiar ripping, tearing, crushing sound took over. I could feel some movement next to me, and voices too, but couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Your brother is okay. We’ve got him out of the truck and in the bus. Now, let’s have a look at you,” Ben was telling me as the blanket cover was pulled away and l could see the beautiful afternoon sky and soft clouds. With the warm sunshine on my face, I mused, ‘How could such a beautiful looking bad turn so bad?’

My vision was filled with the dark blue of a uniform and a light smell of cologne - I couldn’t place it. Trust me to be focused on how something smelt - I’ve always been obsessed with the smell of things since I was a kid. I’m the family bloodhound. I’ll smell stuff way before everyone else does.

The cologne belonged to a reassuring face smiling back at me with blue - almost grey - eyes, framed with dark brown hair. His face was intense, but calming. “Hi, Ben?” I managed to croak out.

Ben nodded back at me. “That’s good - you remembered my name. Now, stay with me, okay? Almost there.”

My training told me he was doing a cognitive evaluation on me. I couldn’t care less.

Slowly the noise, the sounds of machines, voices all died down. It was quieter now, and it didn’t hurt anymore. I wasn’t even feeling cold now, nor hot. But I could smell something different, new. I took another breath, sweetcorn breads… I could smell them. ‘Who’d have that at a car accident?’ I thought.

My mind was fully concentrating on why someone would have sweetcorn at a car accident. Some movement caught my attention and my mind focused on sight again. His face appeared. Oh-my-god! I tried to lift my hand up to feel his face, a face that I hadn’t seen… in a long time.

My heart started to race, my eyes burned with hot tears falling, a feeling came over me from my face, spreading over me. “Sean?” I was confused… “What are you doing here, but you’re? How the-?”

“Sean, I need to rest. I’ve had enough. Lucas is okay.” The sensation was overpowering. Sean’s smiling face filled my eyes, filling with warmth a void in my heart that had been there for the last twelve years. “I thought I’d never see your beautiful chocolate brown eyes - that cheeky smile – again. Oh god I’ve missed you, Sean.”