Jamie - The Journey Begins - 24. Chapter 24 Disneyland and FireFighters

“Mom, I’ve gotta go. I’m running to get my flight. Sorry.” Luckily my fitness was up, else it would be a breathless one-way conversation, with her doing all the talking.

"Jamie, what's your flight number so we can come to get you?"

Mom was insisting as usual - she’s a force to be reckoned with at times - but I love her. Now a little breathless, I answered, “I arrive at 04:45, Mom. I’ll get an Uber! Gotta go really.”

I was almost in a full sprint thru the terminal building, plus trying to shove my cell phone back into my pocket without falling ass over. Guess that’s why I always use a backpack for carry-on, so I can run and make the damn plane, haha.

Looking down the terminal, I saw it - my goal - Gate 12. “Shit” the last call was on the display. Somehow I cracked out a bit more pace, finally coming to a screeching halt at the boarding gate. All hot, sweaty, puffing like I'd run a marathon, fumbling with my pockets, I found it and thrust my Frequent Flyer Card at the cabin crew member standing there. She silently smiled and scanned it. At least she had a smile on her face. Sure, she’s thinking, ‘God, here’s another come on guy. It’s not like we moved the take-off time.’ “Am so sorry guys - I got held up along the way,” I apologized for making them wait. I quietly stood there catching my breath as ‘Melanie’ scanned my card through.

"Thanks, Mr. Spence. You're in sixteen delta. Welcome aboard."

I smiled and took my card back. “Thanks - my bad. That was cutting it close, huh?”

She nodded to her offsider and me with a smile. "You’re all good, Mr. Spence. The ticket kiosk said you were running down here."

I smiled, taking my card back and headed through the doors toward the aircraft. As I was walking down the airbridge they closed the doors to the gate lounge. Okay that was close. I must have been the last one. Oops…

Quickly I took my seat and buckled in. Simon, one of the Cabin crew, kindly stowed my bag for me. I think it was more they needed to get me settled in fast as no sooner had I buckled in, the aircraft pushed back.

..o0o..

Laughing at my own ‘delayed comment,’ - well I was a bit more than delayed - was more a firefight, literal one. I’d decided to do the morning briefing before heading off. That was all good. The plan then was to do a proper hand-over to Corey with all the crews and congratulate him in front of everyone on his promotion to Acting Commander.

We were coming to the end of the briefing, when all hell broke loose. Pagers started to go off all around, then the automated dispatcher system started rolling out advice that the fire had jumped the containment lines in a few places. Everyone jumped to their feet and assembled crews quickly and relatively quietly for the number of people in the community Hall we'd taken over. There was upwards of two hundred and thirty people in the hall at the briefing.

The cause of all the drama became apparent in moments. There was a hush as the aerial Intel maps and ground observer reports were collated in real time and displayed on the large overhead projector beaming an 8mx3m image. An unexpected wind change ripped through a thirty kilometer stretch of the fire front, causing it to flare up, switch direction and was now on the move towards a large number of homes and farms.

The guys that formed my old IMT (Incident Management Team) were re-deploying crews all along the fire line, sending in resources to quickly pull the fire front up before it gathered much more momentum. It was hard going for them because, of course, this all happened during crew changeover, the absolute worst time for this to happen, as your firefighter levels on the ground are at their lowest. It’s all a balancing act of weather, time and fire activity. You obviously don't pull crews out in the middle of a firefight - more you time it for that quiet time just before dawn when it all slows a little.

Seeing I was pretty much spare now, I thought I could help out for a little bit, maybe do some resource planning if they needed it. So I walked over to the IMT and quietly tapped Corey on the shoulder. “Hey Corr, can I help, mate? I can hang about for a few hours before heading off to the airport if you like?”

The look of relief on his face and a few of the other guys said it all. I couldn't go and not help. “Fantastic, Jamie! Can you grab that strike team of medium water tankers and patrol along this area here?" pointing to a flat grassland that leads into a small gully. “We’re worried about the fire getting into this area. Your front-line experience would be a godsend, mate."

We were being tasked to check the containment lines on the Northwest edge of the breakout area, doing some field observation's to provide the Command center with Intel. “Sure mate-Acting Commander.”

Smiling at each other, we all shook hands. “For god’s sake Jamie, please don’t miss that flight. The boss will have my ass if you do.” I turned away from Corey and the planning group, smiling. “Promise - I’ll do my best to make it, Corr.”

As I headed back across the room where Strike Team Echo was gathered reading through their recently changed movement orders, I called out, “Come on guys, you’re with me.” Waving at the crew, I continued, “Let’s see what’s at the bottom of the smoke.”

We had been driving along in mild smoke for about ten minutes when we crested one of the smallish hills where the grasslands started to make their rise into the ridge of hills behind us. On the other side of the gully and ridge are two townships, both with populations ranging between thirty-five and fifty-thousand people, let alone the hundred family farms in the direct path of this flank of the fire.

That’s when we spotted a further outbreak. The wind change had pushed a small line of fire down the northeast side of the ridge. Once the fire was in there with normal wind flow from the north getting behind it, it was now driving it along like a freight train. My first thoughts were, ‘Fuck!!’ I grabbed the radio and jumped straight on to the command channel.
“Western Plains Control, Strike Team Leader Echo, Commander Spence-FIRECALL.”

“Strike Team Leader Echo, Commander Spence send with your FIRECALL.”

“Fire sighted, heading along the following Grid - Bravo 124028 658475, traveling in a North Easterly Direction. Further, Western Plains Control, Send community Warnings. We will deploy along the Western Flank. Send Heli Tac when available, out.”

“Strike Team Leader Echo, Western Plains Control Rodger Wilco."

The fire had really jumped the containment line, and the bastard thing was racing away down a gully towards more priority assets, Telecommunications towers and the first of two townships, now less than two kilometers away.

We'd stopped with the fire to our right and slightly right of center. “Spence to strike team - action plan to follow, record details.”

“Spence to Strike team, Action plan...”
“Copy all… Tanker one, to attack the mid-point of the western flank with Tanker three in support.”
“Rodger Tanker One received.”
“Rodger Tanker Three received.”

“Copy all, Tankers Two, four and five, to attack the head of the fire from the western flank.”
“Rodger Tanker Two received.”
“Rodger Tanker Five received.”
“Rodger Tanker Four received.”

“Strike team leader will protect the anchor and attack the eastern flank. We’ve located a water point five hundred meters to our east. Will mark with a strobe for refills.”

And with that, the firefight was on. It took just over an hour and a half to bring it under control. We'd extinguished this outbreak and crews were enroute to help blackout a few small spots we’d left behind while chasing the head of the fire.

I think Corey couldn’t believe what he was hearing on the command channel by his tone on the radio.

“Strike Team leader Spence, Command message.”

“Send your message, command.”

“Jamie, it’s Corey. Aren’t you supposed to be catching a flight in close to an hour?”

"Rodger that. So I had better get busy with this here. We should be switching to overhaul in the next five minutes. Would appreciate if you could you send a reliever for me. The crews will need to stay committed here for the next hour."

"Rodger Commander Spence. Sending a reliever to your location now. ETA twenty minutes. Make that flight, please. Command out. With thanks."

"Rodger Wilco." Thank god we’d brought it under control and extinguished this part. I’m not gonna lie and say it wasn’t touch and go a few times. I thought it was going to get away from us more than once, but luckily the winds slowed a little which was in our favor. Plus, a water-bombing aircraft was available for a couple of runs, so extra bonus there.

Can’t help it - when it's in your blood, you're there to fight fires and when you see it getting away, you can't just sit back and let it win. You gotta try and kick its ass. And we did. It was a good save. Corey couldn't believe it at first when I called the attack in.

He was telling me to break free of the firefight ASAP so I didn't miss my flight, and I didn’t’, right…? Well, almost missed it, haha.

..o0o..

After takeoff, I called the cabin crew. "Hey Melanie, would it be okay for me to move to an empty row now the flight has leveled out?”

"Sure, Mr. Spence. 24 Bravo is empty. Make yourself comfortable there."

"Thanks, Mel." After getting myself all set, I grabbed my carry on and headed to the bathroom. Man, I needed to change my clothes, and how!

Okay, so aircraft toilets aren't the biggest, right, but were just enough to strip down and put the smelly stuff I’d just taken off into a giant ziplock bag I had in my carry on. I was standing there stark naked, checking myself in the mirror. “Hmm not bad, Jamie.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, my right hand rolling my left nipple, gently pinching it like Ben used to do. My other hand snaked its way down to my rapidly hardening cock, gently stroking it to full length. My Ben sex tape was running in my mind’s eye. He was working me, getting me ready to fuck him, I had my hand on his shoulder and the top of his head, guiding his warm mouth and that skilled tongue toward my cock. “Oh god, I need him, I want him, hmm-nn” I bit my lower lip, stroking my cock harder and faster. My thumb was rubbing over my head and piss slit, milking the pre-cum out and lubricating it. "Oh god," I quietly murmured, “Ben, what I would give for you to be here now.” My vision was full of him, the look of ecstasy on his face as I slowly slid into him last time we made love, his outer ring yielding to me, letting me slide into his warmth, his body contracting and moving under me as we slowly rocked back and forth, pushing his knees back till they almost were flat against his sexy defined chest.

My breath was coming in shallow fast breaths. I was close. I could feel the warm sensation start down deep inside me, that boiling feeling as my cum started to pass by my prostate. My cock twitched and expanded in my hand, "Oh god, Ben.” I opened my eyes, my mouth was hanging open, my chin on my chest. My vision focused just as I came, firing rope after rope of cum against the mirror and small bench. I stood there, slowly stroking myself coming down from the high, squeezing the last few drops out of my cock. “Oh, wow! That was intense!” I really need to have sex again, and soon.

Using a mix of baby wipes I keep in my bag and the hand towelettes, by the time I was done, there was no trace of what had just happened. I reached over and pulled out my clean change of clothes from the other ziplock bag, so they didn’t smell full of smoke… a trick shown me by my dad, of all people - he’d been on lots of deployments over the years. It was an old trick and, man, it worked well. After packing everything back up, it was time to drown myself in the new Cologne I’d bought - ‘Kouros by YSL.’ Damn, it was nice. One of the guys on station was wearing it, so I headed to the department store on my first day off to get me some… and wear it I did.

Finally heading back to my seat, bathroom clean and the smell of sex and cum hidden nicely, I was a new man. Freshly emptied out my balls, nice clean smelling clean clothes to nap in, I was ready to have a drink then sleep. Even Callum, one of the cabin crew, took a double take when he walked past. After the meals service was over, most of the cabin had gone to sleep. I was drifting off when Callum came past and stopped for a moment, leaning in, placing his lips near my ear. “ I’d be happy to help." As he pulled back, his face just inches from mine with a cute-as smile on his face, his eye’s filled with lust.

“Umm… I-um-okay.” I was kinda taken aback but so turned on too. This guy was so cute, jeez.But my face was turning red at the speed of light, I could feel the burning sensation rising up my neck.

“It’s okay, Mr. Spence, I was the only one down the back when you were… in the bathroom."

I could feel my face instantly burn even redder. I was speechless for a few seconds.

Callum placed his hand on my shoulder. "Ben must be a lucky guy to have you. I'm envious." With that, he wiggled his eyebrows and quietly walked to the back of the aircraft.

I turned and watched him walk away… my hand grabbed the seat belt clasp. Lifting the lever with my finger… but I stopped. I couldn’t - I’m still in love with him-Ben. It would feel like cheating, and I felt bad enough after a stolen kiss. God. I’d have to stone myself to death if I had sex, I think.

With all the excitement over, it was time to sleep. Jesus, I was exhausted.

..o0o..

Callum came and woke me. "Mr. Spence we're preparing the cabin for landing if you wouldn't mind.”

Groggily I thanked him and sat my seat up, the flight was only sixty percent full so I didn't have to wait too long to disembark. "Thanks, Callum, Mel, and the rest of you guys. It was a great flight.”

"Our pleasure, Mr. Spence. See you next time." Callum smiled and shook my hand. He'd slipped a small note with his number on it. Okay, I'm only human. I took it and saved the number as I walked up the airbridge to the gate lounge. I sent him a smiley emoji. ‘call you later Jamie.’

My cell beeped a few seconds later as I hot-footed it to the baggage carousel. ‘I’m here for the next three days give me a call, ‘smiley face’ and ‘eggplant’ emojis.’

Arriving at the carousel, I waited to collect my bag. Absently, I was looking around the deserted terminal building for the car service guys. That’s when I saw my poor red-eyed dad walking into the terminal hall. Mom had made him come out. Jeez I would have ubered it anyway. Work would pay for it.

“Hey Dad, sorry you came out.” I shook my dad’s hand then pulled him into a hug dropping one bag to the floor. “Guess Mom wasn’t taking no for an answer, right?” He nodded. “Anyway, I've missed you, daddy."

He smiled, looking at my face kindly. “Daddy, huh? You haven’t done anything, right?" His face was now a little concerned.

"Nah, all good here, Dad. Was just messing with ya." I smiled and turned to grab my bag, with my arm still around his shoulder.

“Anyway, you know your mother. She can be insistent at times.” We both laughed at that.

“No shit, dad. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

The car ride to Mom and Dad’s was pretty chilled. We were talking shop most of the way. He’d been listening to the radio traffic for the past week. “Old Firies, right! Dad, can’t let go. I guess. When your son is in the middle of it too doesn’t help.”

“It gave me some solace to hear you on the radio every day, son. Sounded like you’ve settled into the new role nicely now.” He let out a small laugh. “Sounded like a younger version of Raine and me.”

“Yeah. Corey was fantastic to work with. He was just as hard at it as me, so it worked well.”

“Sounded good, son, really did. Made me proud to hear my boy having a red hot go.”

"Thanks, Dad," We pulled up at their place. I could see the kitchen/meals area lights on from out front. “Clearly Mom is going to feed me before I get to go home?”

Dad smiled as he put the truck in park and switched it off. “You knew that she was going to feed you and make sure you’re okay before you can go home, didn’t you?”

I just smiled, and climbed out. “She’s nothing if not predictable.”

Dad and I chatted some more as we walked up the pathway to the side door and inside. The house smelled delicious. Mom was sitting at the counter drinking a coffee and flipping through a magazine. “Hey Mom,” I greeted her brightly, sweeping her up into a hug. “How’s my mommy?”

“Hmmm, I see you’ve come back all cheeky, Jamie. ‘Mommy’! Really, you’re six again?”

I just smiled, paying her sass no attention, sitting down at the counter grabbing at one of the covered plates. “Hotcakes?”

“Yes, with Bacon, warmed sliced banana, and syrup.”

“Oh my god, absolute favorite breakfast ever! Is this because I’m back or because I’m going?” I smiled cheekily while stuffing my face.

“Both, honey. We haven’t seen much of you over the past months and now you’re off again for a year.” She had a sad look about her face, but was trying her best to hide it.

“Yeah, but it’s only the States, Mom. You can pop over whenever you like, right.”

She didn’t answer, just headed over to the espresso machine. It was time for it to dispense its rich goodness for us all. “Hmm coffee. Thanks, mom.”

We chatted on and off for the next two hours. Mom and Dad were both sad to see me going again, but understood I needed to, not just for my career, but to grow more, I guess.

Finally getting my fill of food and coffee, I just couldn’t eat anymore. Mom made up a few take-home packs for Adam and Julie - they love Mom’s cooking too. Then it was time for me to say bye to mom for the moment. "Thanks, Mom, and you too, Dad. I really appreciate the food, transport. But more … l love you both. Thanks."

Mom grabbed me into a hug and a few quiet tears were spilled. Then it was time for her to release me so Dad could drop me home. In the end, she came along for the ride. Apparently, she was going to go to the grocery store after my place. Dad and I just looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders.

Mom led the way with a bag full of leftovers. "Mom, really? There's enough to feed a small army in there."

"Don't you get all cheeky with me, James… Julie and Adam might like some food too." That rebuke was delivered with her not even dropping step as she walked to Dad's truck - didn't even have to look around at us, she knew. Well, we knew when to shut up.

The parents dropped me home. Adam and Jules had gone to work, so I had the place to myself, well except for Mom now stowing the food in the fridge, and insisting on putting a load of laundry on for me. I tried in vain to argue for her not to. “Son,” Dad quietly called to me, “why are you arguing with your mother? You know she’s going to do it anyway, don’t you?”

“Umm, yes, I guess so.” I replied, looking down towards the laundry room where mom was now in full swing. “See Jamie, you are learning.” Dad smiled and made himself an espresso.

“Okay Dad. I’m heading upstairs for a sleep. MOM, I’m going to head upstairs for a sleep. Thank you. Please don’t waste your day doing my laundry, okay?”

Mom walked out and gave me a quick hug. "It's not a waste. You know I don't mind... now go and get some rest. What time do you want me to wake you?” She looked at me with that ‘you’re not winning this argument’ look, “I'll just do some cleaning quietly while I’m here.”

I looked at Dad. He just held his hands up in surrender. “Call me when you’re ready to come home, love,” he said, as he gave mom a kiss and headed for the door, travel coffee in hand.

“Bye, honey.” She returned to the laundry room. I think she was about to do the whole change of towels and bed sheets thing - god love her to death…

Even though mom said she’d wake me in a few hours, I set an alarm on my cell for three hours’ time as I walked into my bedroom. I stripped off and jumped into the shower. Thoughts of Callum and Ben filled my head. Was it over between Ben and me?

I mean really over?

Ben said we were done that night, and its been months, seven+ months. When do I let go, when do I start having sex again? Callum was super hot and kinda quiet too. In his note he said he’d never done this before and asked me to please keep it quiet. Man, I could sooo do with some ass right about now - the warm touch of another person, giving into each other’s desire’s… OMFG. I think I need to ask Gav or Dave for advice, yep!

Not much of a surprise when I turned the shower off, my clothes were gone, and a fresh towel was on the rack. Lucky I didn’t rub one out over Ben or Callum, but she’s busted me before. God that was so embarrassing - I was sixteen. Mom, although, was cool about it, suggesting the shower was the best place for that. My face still goes red thinking about that. Apparently, she’d busted Mason too, gave him the same talk – lol… wish I’d been there for that one - would have been hilarious. Just proves Mom’s a real ninja - didn’t even hear her.

I padded back out to my bedroom draws and slipped on a pair of PJ pants, then climbed into bed for some well-deserved sleep.

Before I knew it, my cell was firing out the General Lee’s car horn, ‘o-Susanna?’ Lucas had put it on for me in El Paso as a joke and it kinda stuck. As I sat up in bed, swinging my feet to the floor, there was a gentle knock at the door - it was mom.

“Hey mom, come in.”

“Here you are honey - some breakfast to wake you up.”

There was a plate of cornbread Madeline’s and a tall latte. I worship this woman! “OMG mom, thanks,” I enthused, looking to the heavens before I managed to stuff my face with food. Mom sat beside me on the bed and we snacked and chatted for a while. She was just worried about me, that’s all. I guess I’ve given them a few scares over the years. I get it. I took the time to allay some of her fears, well tried to.

..o0o..

After finishing our food and chat, I grabbed my cell and messaged the guys on the group chat. ‘Hey - guess who’s’ back in town for one night?’ Like some crazed musical! Never been a musical guy, well some I liked. I’m more a concert goer. Anyway, ‘anyone one up for a coffee before I go?’ That just got me booted off the page almost.

‘Coffee no! Fuck sake’ was the common response from everyone.

‘Booze yes,’ from Gav.

‘Okay, jeez guys, sorry just it’s a school night and all.’ To calm everyone the hell down, I suggested the little county pub that was only forty minutes away. Nope, they were all concerned that we’d get stuck out there.

‘Country hospitality and all, then you’ll be too drunk to fly,’ Gav said.

Dave chimed in too. ‘Wouldn’t be funny for Jamie to miss the flight and watch him get his ass roasted by the boss.’

I was sinking fast. The guys were in fine form, best of friends but sometimes savage AF. Adam and Jules saved me, suggesting our place! They’d do it all, including the clean-up. Adam chipped in that any damage could be easily fixed too, plus they could make sure I made my flight, although seeing me getting ripped a new ass would be fun. Jeez thanks, Adam.

“Christ what sort of party were we going to have… damage?”

My cell started to ring. It was Adam. "Hey buddy, " I said cheerily.

“Fuck off! Out of the place for two hours, Spence.” Adam barked in a smart ass but playful way. “We need a couple of hours to get stuff setup, okayyyy, buddy?” The last comment was sickly sweet. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wow, feeling the love here, but okay. I’ll go to the gym. Might even get some time in - swim some laps of the pool.”

“All good. Work up an appetite. I'll message you when we're all set. Take a change of clothes with you too, Jamie, so you can get changed there. Save time. Gotta get drinking right!” Adam was giggling like a kid.

I shook my head in surrender. “Okay, I’m going, I’m going. Oh wait, Adam?”
“Yeah Jamie, sup.”

Taking a deep breath, I blurted out, “I met a guy while I was away, but I don’t know what to do. Should I see him or not? I don’t know what to do!”

There was a pause for a few seconds. “Jamie you know what to do - you just don’t like the answer, do you?”

Nodding my head, I replied, “Yeah you’re right. Thanks, Ad’s.” I knew the answer - Ben.

..o0o..

True to his word, by the time I got back it was all set up. Walking in the garage door, I exclaimed, "I could smell the BBQ from out front. It smelled delicious.” As I walked in, Jules smiled, buzzing past with a tray of sweets on it. “How the hell did y’all pull this together so fast?”

Then I saw Mike from the Café walk out of the kitchen heading out back. “That explains it, well some of it anyway.” Oh yeah - guess who didn’t go home? Mom! She’d changed her clothes and was busily helping with the food. It was military precision in there.

Swinging past the coffee machine, I quickly made a latte, kissed mom on the cheek and was quickly brushed away.

“Go outback. Your friends are out there, honey.”

Under instruction, I headed outside, mainly to get out of the way. The kitchen was borderline frantic. Oh, my mom was totally in her element. As I walked out of the door, I heard a familiar voice from my right-hand side. “Hey stranger, want some juice?”

I looked over to see my brother-in-law Todd sitting there with Steph. “Hey guys,” I smiled and walked over, kissing my sis, then hugging Todd who grabbed my ass. “If it was an attempt to shock me, nope - only hope your hands are clean. I’m wearing new Chinos.”

Steph laughed, “Love that ‘what-the-fuck’ look on his face.”

“Oh, really I'm a plaything for you too now? I’m more worried about getting my new pants dirty!” I laughed at them. I turned, looking Todd in the face with a smile. “But don’t grab the other side, else brother-in-law or not, you’ll start something,” I wiggled my eyebrows at him, “and then you’ll have to finish it.” This time I grabbed his butt, he just laughed.

“We’ll see, your sister has me all sorted, but thanks sexy, ” and then he smiled, enough to make me blush… really blushing now.

“Okay boys, stop or get a room.” My sister chipped in.

I scanned around looking for some garden chairs. Adam had been down to the hardware and bought a few extras. Steph, Todd and I sat down. “I was just thinking, guys, on the way home from the gym just now. Wow, what a year it’s been! It doesn’t feel like that long ago I was sitting in Aaron’s office. Really only seems like only a few months ago.”

“Doesn’t seem like that long, does it?” a voice came from behind me. I turned my head and looked over my shoulder. It was Ty with Sam behind him. Standing up I turned around. Not even waiting for a moment, Ty grabbed me and almost crushed me in the hug that followed.

Sam was smiling at us both, as I looked over Ty's shoulder for a second. Steph and Todd were saying hi, while my old friend and I mended some fences.

Then it was our turn, Sam and I, to greet each other. “So, Sam, reckon we can do this without fucking it up this time? Might be safer surrounded with friends,” I coughed for a second on purpose. “I mean minders?”

Sam laughed, “Okay let’s try,” and we hugged for a few seconds, enough for it not to be weird but also enough to mean something too.

“Ahh, look at that. See you can train them.” Steph commented.

Without even looking at her, I said sarcastically, “Thanks for that Stephanie! Can always count on you.”

“Ohhh, Stephanie… he’s pissed honey.” Todd laughed.

“Okay enough fun. Where’s the booze? Let’s get day drunk.” And with that Ty headed off with Sam in tow to get us all a drink.

..o0o..

Sitting back in on the deck, I was quietly sipping on my beer, just taking it all in. That’s when I spotted Dave who had just arrived, I guess. He saw me and walked over with a huge smile on his face. “Here he is, my crayon eating buddy from preschool.” He marched right over and sat on my knee, although there were a few empty chairs around.

“What is it with these straight guys… gay as.”

Dave looked at me. “Fuck off! You’d love it if I sat on something else I’m sure,” he chided, kissing me on the cheek. “It’s not your birthday, so no ideas, lover boy,” he smirked as he turned his head towards the others and laughed. Then he started up a conversation with Gav and Todd like nothing had happened. Lover boy my ass! He’d be so lucky! “So, what were we all talking about?”

Todd jumped in, “Jamie was saying something about Aaron’s office, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Dave exclaimed.

“Well today’s much like that day, right guys, in Aaron’s office - the blue sky of summer, only differences are the sound of magpies warbling, the occasional cocky squawking somewhere in the distance, and you idiots.”

“Oh but this warm breeze that says summer. Gotta love it.” Gav and Mike said in unison.

“Hey Mike, when did you arrive?” I stood up, getting Dave off my leg, he just sat in my vacated seat. “Grave-hopper much, mate?” I said, smiling at him. They completely ignored the Idiot’s comment. I was only kidding though and they know me well enough. "How are you, buddy?" We gave yeah other a hug, with a few back slaps for good measure.

“Awesome, Jamie. Love the party. Adam and Julie have done a fantastic job, right?”

“Yep, can’t thank them enough really. Those two are amazing." I looked across the decked area towards them both. They'd taken a moment and we're having a quiet kiss and hug session - man they are the perfect couple.

Mike and the rest of us talked shit for the next half hour. My mind was drifting between the conversation and my distant memories of looking out of Aaron’s office windows. It made me think about those days on the farm as a kid, laying in the fields with the warm breeze and smell of the wheatgrass around me. It’s always been a comforting thought.

And how my life has turned out… hmm who would have guessed, not me in the slightest.

“Jamie, what ya thinking about mate?” Ty asked as he sat down next to me and handed me a beer.

“Just what a year it’s been really.” My eyebrows furrowed for a moment. “I’m divorced, but I’d made peace with the ex. Traveled across and up a huge part of the lower forty-eight. Been promoted and almost suspended.”

“Oh god, wasn’t that a bar fight!” Ty grimaced.

“Yeah, then right, plus I’d almost been killed. Wiped out a truck in the process, and now bought a new home, but hadn’t really lived in it. But wow, what a year, hey?”

“That’s the work and material stuff, but what about you, Jamie?” a sincere-looking Dave asked.

"True," I took a swig of beer, noticing that our little circle had now tuned into our conversation. “I guess my heart had taken a ride too. I’ve met Ben by accident, haha.” There were a few giggles from that one. “Travelled through Europe and … Paris. My god Paris, where I finally realized that I'd fallen in love, but true to form, fucked it up,” my voice faded a little at the end.

"Jamie, we all make mistakes along the way. Okay, you seemed to have made a few but there's a good reason for that, mate." Ty gripped my knee for a moment, "now today… you seem so much more like that pre-school friend that I made all those years ago.”

Dave and Gav chimed in from somewhere. “Yeah, you're more like that chilled funny guy we all learned to love while eating craft glue and crayons." Dave was smiling away - guess he always tells it like it is.

“Yep, Dave, spot on. Come on, Jamie. What’s the rest of the year been, mate?” Gav handed around more beers to us all.

I opened my twist top, and drank almost half of it in one go, courage I guess. “Well… I met some amazing people, like the guys at lake Castaic with Tom, okay and Josh… wow what a guy. There’d been our time together, Sam and me too, and the aftermath.”

Ty spoke up. "But we're all here and friends, and that's the strength of our friendships. There’s gonna be times when you question it, but it blows past soon enough.”

Mike chimed in, “Cheers to that, Friends!” Lifting his beer, we all clinked our drinks together and drank to the toast.

“Come on brother-in-law - I know there’s more in there yet.”

"Okay Todd, I guess. Well, I’d faced my demons about Sean, that was a biggie. Now I’ve been offered two exchange and improvement deployments, as we’re calling it now… new buzz phrase, really?- using air quotation marks on that one- It’s been a busy time, but…”

“Jamie, say it mate. You’re with friends,” Mike offered.

“I still love Ben.” I looked blankly at the fantastic group of friends surrounding me. Their faces said it all. They had my back, all of them. “I’d like to think I’ve grown up a bit too, well maybe a little, but there it is again, yep Ben.”

"Well you, my friend," Todd stood in front of me and signaled for me to stand up, which I did. Placing his hands on my shoulders and giving them a gentle squeeze, he continued, "You need to tell him that… face to face."

..o0o..

The following day the family came to see us off at the airport. My sister Kate with my cute little niece and nephew, Daisy and Jet, were coming with me for the first two weeks. I’d decided that Uncle Jamie could pay for his favorite niece and nephew to see Disneyland, so Anaheim here we come.

Kate was going to stay for two weeks. The local Spence family outpost was sending reinforcements to Cali. There was a literal tribe going now to Disneyland. “And no, Kate, I’m not wearing those ‘Spence Family Vacation to Disneyland’ Tees no matter what.”

I’m sure most of the US-based Spence children under six were either in LA now our flying in like us. At last count the number of cousins, including Jet and Daisy, was twenty-two. My little munchkins, Jet and Daisy, were super excited - okay so was I. I love Disneyland, just love it.

We got all seated on the massive ‘A380 Airbus’ the kids were great, the ‘QANTAS’ staff were amazing - they kept the kids entertained and fed. I slept for a fair bit till Jet decided that he wanted to sleep on me. My little buddy had missed me big time. I’d missed them too and was going to once I started work. I'd been away in some form or another for a year now and was going to be here in the States for the same. It's a long time in a kid's life, and mine too - anyone’s I guess.

“So guys, where are we going first? Disneyland, California Adventure, Universal Studios, Six Flags, Lego Land?" Yeah well, that just amped them up for a few hours on the flight, my sister was a little pissed that I'd excited them. "Chill Kate, I'll take care of them."

"Okay, Jamie, they’re all yours." And she pulled her headphones on and started to flick through the movie selection. I was totally cool with it. No sooner had they finished their meals, they slept till we were two hours out of LA. I finally woke up with Daisy sleeping tucked into my right armpit, Jet on the left. It was just too cute.

The next two weeks were a total blur for me and the kids too. The only sad part of was seeing the guys off home at the airport. I don't know how I didn't totally lose it when all my little nieces and nephews were surrounding me and crying saying they didn't want to go - man that was tough…

..o0o..

Then, all of that was behind me, and I was feeling a little low generally. The plan was, after the family went back home, to stay at Tom’s place for a few weeks. I was going to rent a small place for the stay, although he had told me ‘no’ too many times. “Hey Tom I really appreciate the offer and all, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“You’re not overstaying. God, you put me up how many times over the years back in Aus? Not going to hear the argument, Jamie. That’s all.”

With that, my plans of renting came to an end. Tom won-out and I moved into his place. I’ve gotta say, it was awesome - filling first few weeks between working and water skiing... for the first month or so.

Still, the first day walking into Tom’s station house - this time as a firefighter and not a tourist visiting - was surreal. The guys were all excited and very welcoming. Most remembered me from the water-skiing, and yeah the party out front of Tom’s place that night – jeez, that night will haunt me for my life, I’m sure.

“Hey Jamie,” -Ryan greeted me with a big grin, pulling me into a hug- “Let’s get you all set up. Tom has asked me to get you settled. Come on.”

With that we headed to the turnout room. The first half of the shift was about orientating myself with the gear on the trucks and setting my turnouts up on my own peg and locker.

After some lunch, I sat down in the muster room, about to get into some light reading – haha, operational notes. “Hey Jamie, heading out to grab a coffee - can I get you anything?”

"Hey thanks, Ryan, I'll take a Grande Latte, please." I stood up and pulled out twenty bucks. "Please Ryan, let me get this round," I offered, trying to get him to take my money, but he kept brushing my hands away. In the end, I stuffed it down the top of his tee. "There you go, thanks." I smiled over my small victory, walking back to my pile of folders spread over the table.

That's pretty much how the rest of the shift rolled on. It didn't take me too long to get my head around some of the fire ground practices. I had done some prep work beforehand, so it was more revision than flat out study.

..o0o..

“Hey Jamie, breakfast is up.”

"Thanks, Tom," I called out, heading down to the kitchen all prepped for my third shift in this rotation. The sweet smell of espresso was getting stronger, mixed with … hmm bacon and eggs, wow another fantastic breakfast prepared by Tom. My eyes went all wide when I saw what awaited me as I sat down at the counter. “Aww thanks man, this is amazing.”

“All good mate, it’s nice to cook for someone. I normally just grab something on my way into the station house,” Tom laughed, “but your turn tomorrow. I know you can cook, Jamie. I remember the meals you made when I was staying with you in Oz.”

“Hmm, love to help out Tom, only fair," I answered with my mouth stuffed with sweet goodness Tommy had made. “I’ll cook for the next week, if that’s okay?” Tom smiled, stepping back a little and making a sweeping bow towards me.

“All yours Jamie. So anyway, how are you settling in? You looked the goods at the past few jobs.”

"Thanks, mate. To be honest, it's all been a bit of a blur over the past few days, but I’m getting it.” I smiled at him, stuffing the last of breakfast into my mouth. Little did I know that the following shift I’d finally get into it. The fourth job is where I found my feet. A small brush fire was spreading - what we would call a ‘grass and scrub fire’ - and we chased it down. It was fantastic.

..o0o..

After we returned, Tom conducted an AAR - After Action Review - and decided to throw me under the bus to a degree. “Hey Jamie, can you tell the guys your take on that job. Your insight would be great.”

"Sure Tom, thanks. First, for the opportunity to turn out with you guys - it's been fantastic. I think I'll always remember this job, as it really was the first going job here in the U. S. I guess it was a chance to put some wet stuff on the red stuff. It was great. Thanks again, guys." The guys all laughed along with my one-liner.

The thrill and rush of adrenaline kicked in so it was more about cutting through the emotions to the facts, which is hard to do on your feet at times, but I was fairly well accustomed to doing it, thankfully. “I was surprised that our two fire services have adapted some similar techniques around what we do back home in Australia in this type of situation. From the outside looking in, I could see the similarities and the improvements from the LA Co-Fire way about suppression. I guess that’s the whole idea, share and improve.”

I continued to go through the movement of assets and the fire line on the Whyte board. Thankfully they were starting to understand my Australian accent, so there were less ‘what did he say’ or ‘I didn’t get that’ going on. Guess I remembered to slow down when I talked - we have a habit of talking too fast I’ve learned.

"Thanks, Jamie, you were a fantastic asset out there. You wanna stay permanently?" Robert, one of the junior officers, offered. “That’s of course if it’s okay with the boss,” he continued, as he looked at Tom, who had raised his hands defensively.

"Fine by me. Remember I've known Jamie a long time and know how good a firefighter he is.”

The rest of the discussion then broke into what people were doing on the break, and how they could keep me on station.

“Appreciate it guys - really do.”

..o0o..

Before I knew it, we'd finished this tour. It turned out to be quite busy, I have to say, and I was loving it. Geez, I hadn’t thought once about my train wreck of a personal life, well till now sitting out-back at Tom’s place. He’d decided to throw a BBQ and welcome me, plus celebrate the end of a busy tour.

‘Oh god... please don’t let this party end like the last one he had…’ To my surprise and that of a few there, I managed to keep myself nice, hands to myself, surprisingly well-behaved fun, hmmm… wish I could get up to some mischief with a certain Texan all the same.

“Hey there Jamie, you’re all quiet tonight,” Josh smirked at me as he sat down beside me.
“Oh, hey Josh, great to see you. Didn’t know you were coming along,” To my surprise as I soon found out, he and Ryan were seeing each other. It’s like I bring people together. They seemed happy as, congrats guys. Tom must have pre-warned them about Ben or my personal life because they deftly stepped around that topic all night, classy guys. Well done Jamie, I have to say - my skills as an accidental matchmaker are good. Can’t successfully do it for myself but others … lol, we all have a skill, I guess.

..o0o..

Kate and the kids had long gone home, and my fourth tour had finished. I was off duty for five days so decided that I’d go and see Lucas. He’d been busting my balls since arriving in the States to come see him, so I jumped on a flight and headed south. I texted him as I was boarding the flight - nothing like a surprise, right?

It worked though. Lucas and Hailey met me at the airport. It was so good to see them again. “Hey, there’s my twin,” a voice boomed out as I arrived at the arrivals hall. Lucas ran up to me and swept me into a hug.

"Man its so good to see you guys again," I managed to get out muffled against his shoulder. Okay, I'm just gonna come out now and say it - when we hugged it got a little emotional. We were both half crying into each other’s shoulders and laughing at the same time. It was so good to see him again. I kinda needed it. To see him made me feel connected with the world over here, if you know what I mean.

We both stepped back a little. “Draw - both won!” we said in unison, then pulled Hailey into our hugging circle. She was just standing there with a smile on her face.

“Oh hey Jamie, you look well, more tanned than when I saw you last.”

"Thanks Hailey. You look fantastic! "And with that, we cocooned her in our little circle.

"Lucas, I’ma telling you right now, she’s a keeper! If you don’t sweep her up, I’m gonna.”

After all the hugs and kisses were dealt with, Lucas tilted his head. “Come on y’all - let’s get his bags and go.”

That’s when I saw it, a little look between them, as the three of us walked hand in hand to the carousel. I knew instantly. “So, when’s the wedding guys?”

Hailey was stunned, she stopped mid-sentence, her mouth hanging, well it was more gaping. “How did you know, Jamie? He only asked me yesterday!” she looked at Lucas, questioningly. “Lucas! You didn’t tell me you’d told Jamie!” There was a bit of a look starting, y’all know that look, right? Dark clouds on the horizon and coming in fast.

“No-no, wait,” I held up my hands in Lucas’ defense. “He didn’t say a word. I can read him, just like he does me at times.’

Lucas nodded emphatically. “’Swear Hailey, I didn’t say a word.”

She rolled her eyes and turned towards me, giving me the once over to see if I was telling the truth. She soon broke into a heart-warming smile and hugged me again. I can see why he’s fallen for her. Damn, I would! They exchanged a sweet little kiss. It was heart-warming to watch.

“So,” Lucas pulled me in close as we started to walk again, looking at Hailey for a second - she smiled at him - then looked at me. “Wanna be my best man?”

I was stunned, and literally tripped on nothing, falling forward a little… of course I thought he would ask me, but to actually hear it was totally different.

“Yeah, of course… I would, umm, will be, love too... Damn Lucas, I'm all tongue-tied.” We all started to laugh at my inability to string a coherent sentence together. Taking a breath and focusing - okay let's try again - “I’d be honored to, but what about your brothers? Aren’t Aiden or Josh gonna be pissed?”

“Nah…” Lucas waved his hands, “They already know that I'd always ask you. They can be my groomsmen unless you don't wanna do it?” he smiled.

“I’m in,” I said before I could stumble any more. "Yeah I'd be honored to." And there we were again hugging. If anyone had been watching us from my arrival till now, we must have looked either super weird or awesome - I hope the latter.

“Have you guys set a date yet? Where is it going to be? Come on… details…”

..o0o..

We headed out of the airport and over to his truck. I threw my bags into the tub and climbed in. Hailey was going a million miles to the minute telling me about what they’d planned already. “Hey Jamie, you hungry?” she paused for a moment.

“I don’t know why, but I’m starving, you guys?”

"Yeah, me too. Let’s head to Killen’s BBQ.”

“Hmmm yeah, Lucas.” Hailey reached over and held Lucas' hand.

“Aww, that's so...” they're so cute. And no sooner had we agreed on Killen's we were stuffing ourselves. I absolutely stuffed myself on brisket, plus the three of us shared a huge serve of pork spare ribs.

“Oh my god guys, this is awesome! I’m gonna have to run like five miles tonight to burn off that food, but jeez.”

With a mouth half-full of food and nodding like a bobble head, Lucas spat out, "Welcome back to the south cuz. Damn this is great!” I seriously thought he was going to start eating two-handed – well, I'd thought about it.

In between stuffing ourselves stupid, Hailey filled the space with the wedding. "Jamie, how long are you out here for?" She smiled while reloading with some of Lucas' pork ribs. He shot her a sideways.

“Don’t be touching my food.” She didn’t care, just simply smiled and chewed down on her stolen food. These two were so much fun to watch.

“Well it’s all a bit fluid at the moment, but I’ll be stationed in Cali till the end of September. Then, I’m taking two weeks off and heading to El Paso from mid-October till the following April or June. That’s the bit still up in the air.”

“Where are you going on your break, coming here to Texas to help me? Hmmm.” She smiled so sweetly.

“Ah no. If you want your wedding to be a train wreck or look like an outdoors cook up, I’m your man, else you’d be better to just give me simple instructions of where and when to be somewhere and we’re all good.”

Lucas burst out laughing at that. “That’s so true.” I just shrugged my shoulders and refocused on those ribs that were awaiting me on the plate.

..o0o..

It was a fantastic break in Texas with Lucas and Hailey. I managed to catch up with the rest of the family there too. I tried to call Ben and then Daniel, but I chickened out each time. The following rotation, I didn’t head south. It was mid-May until I was back in Texas again.

On a slightly brighter note, I’d been messaging Ben on and off. I think we both were at a point where we didn’t know how to fix this, us, or if we could. It felt like we were stuck in Groundhog Day almost, most of… well, all of my spare time was taken up with thinking about Ben. I still hoped we would fix it between us, but I could feel the light between us growing dimmer and dimmer as each day passed us by.

My feelings hadn’t changed - I still loved him and hated myself for fucking it up, plus I was a total blue balls now, lol. It’s been what, eight or more months since we’d seen each other. Too many months since I’d had sex, and your hand and porn can only do so much.

Yesterday’s message from Ben told me he knew I was back in the US as Lucas told Daniel and Daniel him. I hadn’t posted much on social media. Other than pics of me at Disneyland with Jet and Daisy, and a few water-skiing pics, I’d been pretty quiet. It wasn’t planned or anything more. Through omission and getting my head around work, I guess we hadn’t messaged all that often of late, that realization kind of hurt.

Anyways, on this next break, I was heading back to Austin for three days, as were Uncle Reid and Aunty Ann Marie, plus my parents were flying in too - almost the entire family was heading to Austin for Aiden’s birthday bash.

Even though I wouldn’t miss it for the world (and yes, my Mom had been on my back to make sure I was coming) they were looking forward to seeing me as I was them.

Hailey had wedding stuff that she wanted to run past me - why I don't know. I'm totally clueless with that stuff, not a functioning gay bone in my body to help plan a wedding. God, that would be suicide if you let me organize a wedding… The good news was they’d set a date - the third week of this October, so I would have to head over after my first tour at El Paso. ‘Shit, I hope the shifts line up. That’s fast, right? Wonder if he’s got her pregnant? Nah, that was one thing Lucas was careful about… maybe?’

I decided to arrive in Texas a day early so I could try and be the good son and spend a day with the rents - it worked. Plus Lucas decided to tag along - no surprises there. We ended up having dinner with Lucas' and my parents plus Hailey.

“How’s work going, Jamie? Please pass our regards to Tom - he’s such a nice guy.”

“Sure, will do. I’m living at his place at the moment - won’t let me get a rental.”

"Well, you did put him up for eighteen months that time he was working metro. Guess he wants to repay the favour, honey." She pursed her lips - I knew it was coming… "So, what did Ben say when you called him and said you were here for the next year?"

Everyone around the café table went quiet. She was staring at me like I was looking down the barrel of a shotgun.

“Well on that, I umm…” I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

“Jamie, don’t you dare tell me that you haven’t called the boy and told him!! I raised you a whole lot better than that.” Now I was copping a death stare, felt like I was going to turn into either a pillar of salt or stone any second.

“Mom, I meant to, I just can’t find the right words. It’s hard, you know.” I was looking at her with my heart truly on my sleeve. “Please mom, don’t go on about it. I’ll do something, I promise. I just have to… work up to it, please.”

Silently she shifted her gaze away from me. That’s when Hailey. - from here I’ma gonna call her ‘St Hailey’ - jumped in. “I’m sorry Ma’am. Between his work and Lucas and me getting Jamie to help with the wedding planning, I’m probably to blame a bit for that. I promise I’ll make sure he gets some time to do the right thing.”

Giving my mom the sweetest southern ‘butter won’t melt in her mouth’ look, it worked. The conversation moved on and didn’t revisit that for the rest of the night. But I have to call him - I need to grow a pair and just do it.

..o0o..

Aiden’s party was huge. Josh and wife Zoe were there - love Zoe - she’s so the life of the party - between dragging me onto the dance floor what felt like every five minutes, she and Amanda. Even the boys were getting up and dancing too. It was a cracking night.

We were having the time of our lives, plus the girls were slamming back those champagne glasses and cocktails like it was soda. Okay, I’d had a couple and was about to, well, I did, but Aiden’s huge mitt covered my mouth as I yelled out under his hand, “Boys, you’re in for a good night, haha.”

“We know Jamie, don’t fuck it up for us.” Aiden hissed in my ear. “You’ll understand when you get married again, the sex flow gets turned down somewhat.” Aiden quietly laughed in my ear, then squealed, “Yuck, what was that?”

I’d licked his hand that was covering my mouth. “One sure way to get someone to let go - Learned that from years of fighting with Mason. Ha ha Aiden.”

With that, he slapped my back and walked off to rejoin the dancing and drinking, wiping his hand constantly down his leg as he disappeared into the crowd.

Having a look around the yard, I spotted my parents laughing and chatting like they’d been doing pretty much all night. I think when Dad finally retires, they’ll spend the warmer months over here. Although they’ve got an army of friends back home, plus grandkids and, hopefully, a few more from Steph and Todd. But I think more time Stateside, is on the cards with them.

In between dancing, talking and drinking, I was busy playing with all my little cousins. The kids ran to me when I arrived - seemed like I left a good impression on them from Disneyland - but wow, in only a few short months they’d grown so much. By the end of the night, Lucas and I had downed a few beers, but uncle Reid and my Dad were well pretty much written off, lol.

Auntie Ann Marie and Mom just laughed at them. My dad’s a blast when drunk - he tells jokes non-stop, mostly not funny, but he has fun and it’s hard not to laugh with him.

As the cool of the night came over us out in the yard, I realized how much I’d missed Austin, TX. There were so many memories here good and bad. It’s so much like home in so many ways, but different too. Just add my crazed family and friends and we’d have the whole block here joining in. My god, I can only imagine what Gav, Dave, and Mike would do here - it would be huge I'll give you that.

..o0o..

The following day, I decided to head out and do some sight-seeing before going home. I was about to leave Aiden’s place, when Hailey, Zoe and Amanda cornered me.

“Jamie,” Zoe gave me that sweet ‘butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth’ look, “Hailey wants to go over some wedding stuff today. You free for coffee before heading back to Cali?”

“I was planning on doing some sightseeing before I left, what time do you think?” I knew just to give in, there was no escaping it… not with all three on my case and mom in reserve.

“How about 12:30-ish? The boys need a good lunch in ’em, after y’all’s effort’s last night.” The boys wanted a big lunch? More they needed it I think. They were feeling a bit rough around the edges this morning, I heard Josh puking outback earlier, praying for coffee and death in that order. Lucas and I were good. We’d switched to JD and Coke after a few beers, so weren't so sick like those guys. Anyways I couldn’t say no – well, I could have and they’d just ignore me and demand my attendance.

Amanda gave me the address. They’d decided to go a lunch spot that had a nice outdoors area, according to the google search I’d just done. I can't remember them talking about this place before, so it must have been just random “Okay guys, I’ll see y’all at 12:30ish.” With that, I did the whole goodbye and see ya thing. It took me a good twenty minutes till I made it out front and into my rental. I wasn't sure where I was going - just needed to get out and chill for a bit. I needed some downtime to think about how to un-fuck my life… maybe make a call if I could.

The few hours passed pretty quickly. I went out to the water hole and walked around, the place was empty. Must have been too early for the locals, stripping down to my boxer briefs I dived in for a quick dip, man it was amazing. After soaking up some sun on the shoreline I pulled my jeans and tee on , then drove about aimlessly. I was loving this Dodge Challenger rental I'd gotten. Okay, I'm a Ford guy, but love a good Hemi… who doesn't, right, and damn, this thing was some fun. Dad, Uncle Reid, Josh, Aiden, and Lucas were taking it, in turn, to drive around the block till the booze started last night. Cruising around, I stopped at a station house, said hi to the guys out front - they all liked the car too, lol. Before long, it was time to meet up for lunch. The Satnav had me about fifteen minutes out apparently.

When I pulled up in the carpark, it was pretty full, but I didn’t recognize any cars parked, so just headed in and looked around. I couldn’t see my family yet. The waitress greeted me.

“Oh hi. Do you have a booking for Spence?” I asked, still looking about. “Let me check, sir. A moment.” She looked at the list, “Yes sir, a table outdoors - is that okay?”

I smiled. “Thanks. That would be great” and followed her out to the decked area, ordering an espresso and slice while I waited. I took out my cell and sent Zoe a text, ‘Hey I'm here you guys far?' My cell beeped with her reply, ‘almost there.' I settled back and enjoyed the sun. It was so nice out today, not too hot, just the lightest of breezes, so decided to switch seats in the sunshine and waited for my coffee and family to arrive.

Eating my slice and sipping coffee, I was enjoying the entertainment being provided by two little kids playing just near me. They weren’t much younger than Jet and Daisy, making their own fun by chasing two birds around the tables, having the time of their lives… the kids were, the birds weren’t so keen on it. But they knew the drill, flying off when the kids got too close, only to land a few feet away, you know, just in case they missed out on some food. I couldn't help but laugh. It was fun watching them. ‘Hmm, think I’d like to be a dad someday.’

The wait staff came past. “Can I get you another sir?”

“Thanks, that would be great.” Before I knew it she was back with my second espresso in thirty minutes … man, I was going to be amped up when they finally arrive.

Switching back to watching the kids play, I felt someone behind me, which I assumed was one of my family members until they spoke. “That’s a nice ring you’re wearing there.” I almost choked on my mouthful of coffee, lurching forward covering my mouth with my hand for a second. I knew that voice. Twisting around in my seat, my heart had sprung to life. Seriously, I thought it was going to beat clean out of my chest. There he was, “Ben! You’re standing there… smiling at me.” Wow, fucking wow, he looked stunning, maybe a little less, ahh nope, perfect, just like the last time I saw him, wow!!!

“Ben!” I stood up, knocking the chair over accidentally, and pulling my sunglasses off at the same time. The chair clattered away, scaring the birds back towards the kids. My eyes didn’t shift from his beautiful face. I was lost for words. I didn’t know how to great him. Do I kiss him, hug him, shake his hand, drop to my knees and ask for forgiveness or marriage?

“Hmm, ninja skills haven’t improved,” he laughed. “You look great, Jamie, you really do." Ben stepped forward and went to hug me. I didn't need to be invited twice and slipped into his arms pulling him close to me, I could smell him, that personal smell that makes him-him. This time it was real, not a half drunk or an exhausted mind playing tricks on me - it was him.

I slid my hands down, finding the small of his back and pulling him a little closer. His body felt much the same under my hands as it did last time I held him. My mind was in overdrive.

We broke apart a little, still holding each other. Looking into the other’s face, reading, seeing our own reflected emotions. “You’re still wearing it Jamie, the ring.”

I nodded at first unable to coherently speak, “Hasn’t been off my hand since Paris.”

He smiled a half smile, then it faded for a second. I guess all of what had happened to us washed back over, but I wasn't going to waste this opportunity. I gently squeezed him. “Hey Ben, can I get you a coffee or something cold? Please sit down it’s… it's fantastic to see you again.” I so wanted to kiss him, kiss the lips clean off his face, but it felt a little awkward.

“Sure, a coffee would be great,” and with that Ben sat down in the chair next to me. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

“So how did you, um, I mean, what brings you here, Ben.”

“Lucas told me you were in town. Aiden texted me where you'd be. They're not coming today.” Ben showed me Aiden’s text.

AS: Ben, its Aiden Jamie’s @ the cafe from 12:30. We’ve got him there you 2wrk it out
BR: Tks but he’ll be pissed at me
AS: man up
AS: BTW Lucas will be ghosting you guys in the carpark, so don’t try and run

“So, your persistent team of cousins messaged me two hours ago, told me you were going to be here, so here I am.”

Ben smiled at me. My god, I still love him. “Ben, I have to say this,” he held up his hand.

“I know, Jamie, I know. I think we both were pretty stupid on how we dealt with it all. How about we just let it go, hey?”

“Yeah okay, I want to but, I have to apologize. I’m so sorry, Ben, really am.”

“I know, Jamie. I am too.”

The server arrived with two new coffees - perfect timing to break the mood right. I thanked her and turned back to face Ben. He looked at me smiling and with that, we started to chat for hours. During our conversation, we both came to the realization that we were stupid, hurt and somewhat clueless.

“Geez, Ben,” I laughed a little uncomfortable giggle. “Seriously without their, Lucas... I think it might have been those girls, but anyways without their matchmaking, we would have just drifted apart. It was kinda happening anyway, I guess, yeah?”

Ben nodded, sitting back in the chair. "Yeah, I think we're both stuck, but I guess we have to thank Aiden and Lucas.”

‘Yeah, well I think it was really Amanda, Hailey, and Zoe the night before, well my mom too. Southern girls, they complain about their mothers running lives - these three do the same, just in a modern format, unstoppable force of nature, haha.”

My phone beeped reminding me that I needed to be at the airport to fly back to LA soon, the time had just flown past. “Sorry, Ben, I’ve got to leave to get my flight back. Trust me, I want to stay but…”

Giving me that understanding smile, he stood up. Holding out his hand out for me to grab while standing to wait for me. Ohhh what a gentleman!

I stood not being able to wipe that stupid smile off my face. In silence we walked to the cashier, paying the bill, Ben left the tip. Then we headed outside. I had hold of his hand and wasn’t about to let it go anytime soon. My mind and stomach were spinning like a tornado, I was as nervous as. I took a gulp of air, stopping and turning side on. I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it.

“Hey Jamie, can we catch up when you’re back over here?” he smiled a nervous smile.

My face lit up like a Christmas tree. “I’ll be back in two-and-a-bit weeks. I’d love that, Ben.”

He smiled back. We stood there in silence waiting for someone to make the first move, like school kids and their first crush almost... We both chickened out.

"Okay. I'll see you in a couple of weeks, James." Squeezing both my hands. I didn't realize that he was holding them both. It just felt so normal, comfortable.

Turning, he let go. The loss of contact washed over me. It felt horrible. I could feel that empty feeling running thru me. I had to - it was now or never. I quickly reached forward, grabbing his hand and gently stopped him. “Ben.”

Whoa, now get yourself under control here, Jamie. “Ben I have to do this.” I could feel my heart racing. I was sure that Ben’s hands were getting wet from the buckets I was sweating. “I promised myself that if I got the chance I would, so…” I slowly turned him to face me, stepping in closer to him. I kept my eyes locked on his, desperately trying to read his thoughts and emotions, conflicted and scared was all I was seeing.

“Ben, please.” I leaned forward and gently brushed my lips on his, and pulled back scanning his face for some sign of horror - or joy, I hoped. He moved forward a little, just millimeters but enough to renew contact. His lips, their warmth, the energy that was surging through me from that touch was… I never want to be without this feeling again.

They were warm and soft. Finally, my mind yielded to my heart, it took control. There was an unmistakable surge of passion, nervous energy - it was like I was electrified, just amazing!

Slowly, passionately, we deepened our kiss. The warmth of his mouth was so inviting, so familiar, comforting. We reconnected as no time had passed between us. I was completely swept away. The outside world stopped existing. All I heard was the crunch of the stones underfoot as our legs, arms and bodies entwined. We were transported to somewhere, far from here.

At some point, the outside world was back. Don’t know how long we’d been kissing, but the quiet moans Ben was making while we were making out was a welcome reintroduction to the world. Finally, we stopped, pulling back a little. I was gently holding his face in my hands.

“Are you ok Ben?” I asked, looking at him worryingly. His lips were all red and a little swollen, but his eyes were sparkling and filled with desire.

He didn’t answer, just looked down a little. Then a smile broke out across his face. “Hmmm.” I felt his hands slide up my back to my shoulder blades, then onto my neck coming to rest holding my face. He gently pulled me toward him, our lips touched. I gently nipped on his lower lip, letting the passion and lust flow, taking over. It was almost like it wasn’t conscious.

Ben moaned at my ministrations. Our bodies came together. Before I knew it, we were back kissing. My hands slipped over his firm butt and came to rest in the small of his back, pushing him closer to me. I was lost in the moment. It was like my mind was doing this massive mind flashback. All I could see in my mind's eye was Ben, places we'd been, the times we'd slept together or just walked around, even memories of here with his family. I knew this was it. I wasn't going to let him go again or fuck it up.

Ben and I had wasted so many months, almost nine! Forgotten in an instant, but almost lost forever till today. I tried to pull away his hands held me in place. I didn’t even know he was holding me. It was amazing. Just as I’d remembered.

My cell started to buzz again. I had under an hour to get to the airport and catch my flight.

“Ben, I have to go,” I breathed out pulling back from him. We both were breathless and red-lipped. It looked hot as!

“Come on, I’ll ride with you to the airport. I’m sure Daniel will bring me back to get my car.”

We climbed into the Dodge. “Oh wow, Jamie, this is awesome!” he gasped, looking around as the Hemi came to life with a throaty roar.

I couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off my face. “Let's go, hey." And with that, I opened the taps up on the highway. It was a total blast.

..o0o..

“Are you sure Tom? You don’t mind. I feel bad as.”

“You kidding? You’ve been like a puppy on a lead for the past two weeks. I can't wait for Ben to arrive so we can get a little more sense from you, Spence."

“I’ll be happy to escape this madhouse for a few days with the guys. Four days of drinking, fun and whatever else we get up to,” Tom winked at me.

Oh god, he's gonna end up in the lockup or deported back to the US.

"Jamie, you’re still right to drop me and the guys off on the way? We're all heading down in Grant's truck."

“Sure, no problems, Tommy.” He had the idea to use a voucher he’d had for months - discount accommodation at some swanky resort, with meals included, for three people in Tijuana. So the guys just chipped in for the fourth spot and away they went. I was more than happy to drop them off. I just couldn’t wait to get Ben alone in private.

"Thanks, buddy, no really - thanks for giving us the place for the weekend. I hope you enjoy your time in Tijuana."

Ben was flying out to see me this time. He wanted out of Texas for a while. News had spread quickly about us meeting up - didn’t help that Lucas and Hailey, Aiden, Amanda and Daniel, Ella were waiting for us at the airport. Lucas had money on me not stuffing it up. The Rushes didn’t share his faith, so had to come and check.

You couldn't get mad at them, in fact. All I said was, "You know what? Thanks, guys, for … well, thanks." The words escaped me, but they knew what I was trying so hopelessly to say. If it wasn’t for their intervention, then I wouldn’t be so happy now.

I still hadn’t worked out what to do about a car while I was here. Mostly, I borrowed Tom’s truck, or just walked and caught a lift with whoever was heading out. Ryan told Josh that Ben was coming out for a few days and that I was trying to get a rental for us. The fantastic guy he is turned up with a demonstrator for the weekend. “OMG Josh, you are just awesome! Thanks!!”

I went to shake his hand and he swatted it away. “Come on, Jamie,” I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him so tightly, he almost squeaked. I was just super excited and didn't stop thanking him for a full ten minutes.

On Josh, we had become great friends - what a fantastic guy, I was happy with my man. But tell you, wow, if things were different… nah not really - I love Ben too much. Anyways, Josh and Ryan had been seeing a lot of each other for about three months now, according to Tom. And getting a little serious now. Ryan was going with Josh to meet his folks and then, if they survived that, okay that’s my joke but… then they were meeting Ryan’s family a few days later.

Both guys were trying to convince me and Ben to come along and run cover for them. According to Josh, my Aussie accent would distract the parents. I messaged and chatted to Ben about it. I wasn’t too keen to get involved in other people’s stuff, jeez. I had a hopeless track record of my own, right. So, Ben spoke to them both and politely excused ourselves from that weekend of fun. Would be fun to watch, but still.

..o0o..

It was late in the afternoon when I headed out to the airport to collect Ben. The traffic was, jeez, like Sydney on a bad day times twenty. But I was getting used to driving in LA. The biggest thing was the cops weren’t so hard on you for being a few miles over the limit, if you were going with the rest of the flow. Weave in and out of cars and, bang, they’ll stop you. But be safe and just go with the flow, and you’re all good. Think our cops in Australia could learn a thing or two on that front. The traffic did eventually flow.

I was waiting at the terminal gate for Ben to come out of his flight, watching and waiting like some love-starved idiot. Then, I saw him and my heart skipped a few beats when I saw that killer smile he had plastered over his face said it all.

He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a kiss, a kiss that reminded me why I love him.