Millennium - 32. Chapter 32

December 7, 1999

I drove up to Anders-Hayes and parked in the spot next to Robbie’s, ignoring the reserved sign. It was 6:45pm and the space was empty, so if the schmuck came back, he could park somewhere else. Robbie’s blue Toyota truck sat in his reserved parking spot, looking kind of ridiculous next to the shiny red Ferrari. I contrasted the two vehicles, and couldn’t help but think that they reflected how Robbie had changed over the years. He used to be like that Toyota truck: Handsome and dependable, with no frills and no ostentation. Now he was like the Ferrari: Flashy and sassy, purposefully designed to attract people. I let those thoughts occupy my mind as I strode confidently into the building. This receptionist knew me so I passed by her unmolested, and then caught the elevator, which whisked me right up to the top floor; one of the benefits of arriving late.

I found Evelyn scampering around, looking frazzled. “Hey Brad!” she said cheerfully. “Hectic day around here.”

“That’s good news. Is the big guy alone?”

“Yep, you got lucky this time,” she said. I knocked on the door and entered.

“Hey Brad,” Robbie said, formally with a mild hint of cheerfulness. “Can you give me just a minute? I need to finish up a few things.”

“Sure,” I said, and sat down on his couch. I wondered how hard he’d worked this couch when he’d been with Carson. I wondered how hard he’d work it in the future. I sat there and watched him in action, smiling at how he seemed to be his old self. He was in charge and in control, only I noticed that it was in a more dominant way than he’d been before. That worried me, because he’d always been such a good team builder. That was when he was a Toyota, not a Ferrari. About 15 minutes later, he tidied up his desk and gave me a slight smile.

“Let’s go,” he told me. He was nervous. This was not going to be a good dinner. Somehow, knowing that made it better, let me prepare myself for the worst. He grabbed his calendar and followed me down to the parking lot.

“Your car is fixed,” I said, handing him the keys. His eyes lit up.

“Thanks for bringing it to me.”

“It’s the least I could do since I fucked it up in the first place,” I told him. He didn’t say anything, he just hit the key and the car chirped, telling us it was unlocked, and then we both hopped in. I didn’t even ask him where he was taking me; I just sat back and enjoyed the ride. “You seemed busy today,” I observed.

“Yeah, I really poured myself into work today. It feels great. I’ve been doing all this floundering around, focusing on my personal life, and you were right. I let the company languish. Well that’s over. I’m back, focused.”

“That’s great to hear,” I said honestly. “It was awesome to watch you working, to see you getting into it again. I’m having a hard time doing that right now.”

“Why?”

“Stef’s convinced this tech thing is a huge bubble that’s destined to burst. He’s got us on this plan to liquidate most of our tech holdings.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

“I think he’s right, but it’s frustrating for two reasons. First of all, if we’re not doing new deals, there’s not much to do, and that’s pretty boring. And the second thing is that the markets keep going up, and up, and up. It’s hard to steer the course when all the signs say you shouldn’t.”

“You said Stef was a sage,” he reminded me. “You think he’s lost his touch?”

“No, I think he’s probably right, and so does Luke. It’s just frustrating. It’s one of those times where I’d almost rather do something, even if it’s wrong, than do nothing at all. I should probably put my energy into finding out who’s behind Omega.”

“That’s really fucking mysterious,” he said.

“I thought you’d know. You sure figured Dan out.” He smiled at me to thank me for the compliment.

“Not on this one.” We got to the restaurant and they seated us right away. It was nice to see that Robbie’s two flops hadn’t lessened his status in the eyes of restaurateurs. “It’s really nice to spend time like this with you and not fight,” he said as we sat down.

“I couldn’t agree with you more. Let’s try not to do that.”

He smiled nervously. “That’s my plan. I spent last night in my apartment, and I really liked it.”

“So you want to make this move permanent?” I asked. Both of us were surprised by how calm and pleasantly I asked that.

“I was thinking that it would be a good thing during the week, to help me stay focused.”

“If that’s what you need, then you should do it. There’s some shit that I could use your help on at home though, but I think weekends are when it will be handiest to have you around.”

“What’s going on?”

“Jeanine and I had lunch today. She’s going to ask Tiffany to move in, and like I said, I was going to give them our room and then we could take over the master bedroom in Stef’s old house.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about that,” he said.

“You like the other room better? I mean, if you do, we can stay there.”

“No, I just think that maybe you should have that room all to yourself. Maybe I can snag one of the other ones for when I’m there.” He looked at me really nervously.

“You don’t want to sleep with me?” I asked, with a sadness I couldn’t hide.

“No, Brad, it’s not like that. Don’t go there. There’s just a lot of space between us right now, and it might be weird for me to just come home and jump into your bed. I mean, it may be occupied.”

“You can’t scoot over?” I teased. He’d hit me hard with this one, but I managed to keep my cool. “I understand what you’re saying. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’ll miss you when you’re not around.”

“I’ll miss you too. But I think we need the space to get our shit together. For you, it’s dealing with all the crap we’ve been through. For me, it’s getting my company back on track.”

“I have this feeling that what we’re talking about here isn’t how we handle our schedule, it’s how we end our relationship.” I watched him react to that, and get all defensive. “If that’s what we’re doing, I’d like to deal with that. There’s more involved than just you and me.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel guilty?” he demanded. He’d gotten pissed off pretty quick, which told me how upset he was by this whole thing. He was doing something he thought he had to do, but he was uncomfortable with it.

“No, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m trying to be the new, improved Brad,” I said smiling. “I want to know how involved you plan to be with the kids, because they’ll ask about you, and I want to know when I can rely on you if I need you.”

“You ask me to be there, I’ll be there.”

I smiled. “We’ve got a lot of stuff ahead. JJ’s got this skating deal, and Jeanine wants to pull him out of school and have him tutored so he can spend even more time on the ice.”

“Wow,” he said. “Are you going to do it, let him skate and get tutored instead of going to a regular school?”

“I wanted to know what you thought about that.”

He smiled, and I felt really good for including him. “Let me ponder that for a bit.”

“That’s funny; I told Jeanine the same thing.” We chuckled together. “Darius is going to be looking at colleges this spring. I want to know whether to include you in that.”

“Absolutely,” he said. I wondered if he’d be so firm about it when the time came.

“And the guys are gonna want to know when they can spend time with you. You want to try to set up some sort of visiting hours for them?”

“You make this sound like a divorce.”

“It’s more like a separation.” He looked at me, shocked, and then nodded. “I’m not trying to pressure you. I know you love the boys, and I know you want to make sure they’re fine with however we work that out. That’s why I’m bringing it up, so we can present a united front.”

“I understand. Let me think about that one too.” He was kicking the ball ahead so he didn’t have to make a decision.

“You still want me as arm candy for your holiday parties?” I teased.

“Here are the parties I’d like for us to go to together, as a couple,” he said. He’d pared it down from four parties to two, not too bad. One of the parties he’d crossed out was Jackie’s big Holiday Fest. She was Cody’s boss. Her parties usually devolved into an orgy. He’d clearly wanted his freedom for that one.

I jotted them down. “It’s a date. And you might not want to stand me up.” He looked at me, surprised, and then laughed.

“Yeah, I just got my car back. I don’t want to lose it again.”

“What about Christmas and New Year’s?”

“I figured we’d be at Escorial for Christmas. For New Year’s, we’ve got that big bash at our house.”

“You still want to host that party together?” I asked, even though that wasn’t really true. Stef was putting the party on. Our role as hosts was merely nominal.

“Yeah.”

“You asking me out?” I teased.

“Yeah.”

“Alright, I’ll block out the big New Year’s night for you. 2000. A whole new millennium.” I smiled at him.

“So what do you want to tell people? I mean, about us.”

“You mean since you’re moving out, and when you’re home you’ll have your own room? You mean since we’re allowed to see other people, and really have no commitment?” It was hard to hide all the bitterness. “I guess that makes us fuck buddies, assuming you still want to have sex with me.”

I saw his lip quiver, and I knew this was hard on him too. “Come on Brad, we’re more than that, and we always will be. I love you. That hasn’t changed.”

“I love you too, and you’re right, we’ll always be more than that. But I don’t know how to describe it.”

“How about saying that we’re partners in an open relationship.”

“Are we still partners?” I asked him.

“Don’t you think so?” he asked, tossing it back in my court.

“It’s what I want, so that’s what I’m hoping.”

“Then let’s go with it,” he said, and seemed happy with how things worked out. What really surprised me was that I was happy with it too. He paid the bill and we left, and he drove back toward downtown. “How are you getting home?”

“Can I borrow your truck?” I teased.

“You can, but not until tomorrow morning. Spend the night with me.”

“At your apartment?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. He drove up to the building, a posh high rise, and parked. He led me to the elevator and took me up to the 27^th floor, then pulled out a key to open up 2714. “This is it.”

It was pretty big, with two bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms. “It’s a nice place, but I’m kind of nervous about being here. It’s like it’s your sanctuary, and I’m interfering.”

He smiled. “You’re right, it is kind of like my sanctuary. It’s a place I can go and focus, where I can avoid distractions. But I want to share it with you,” he said.

“You do?” I asked, really surprised.

He handed me a key. “I had a key made for you.” There was so much in this gesture. He could have made this his space, and his space alone, pointedly excluding me. The place he’d bring all his boy toys fuck them. Instead, he was making it our place, as much as our house in Malibu. I just stared at him, fighting back the tears that were fast overwhelming me.

I finally pulled myself together, took the key and put it on my key ring. “Thanks,” I said as I smiled weakly at him.

“Um, I won’t come home and come barging into your bedroom without knocking. You can stop by here without calling, but don’t get upset about what you find. Remember, that open thing works both ways.”

“And our taboos are still in force?” I asked. He knew what I was talking about. He was talking about his pledge not to let someone else fist him, and my pledge not to fuck Matt.

“Those won’t break, because that would mean that we’d be over. And that’s not going to happen,” he said, and pulled me into a passionate kiss. He didn’t think we’d be over? He had confidence in us, in our ability to survive as a couple? I felt my spirits soar, and kissed him back just as passionately as he kissed me.

He led me to the bedroom and we stripped off our clothes, grinning at each other. I spotted a big jar of Vaseline on his nightstand and guessed he’d used that for jacking off last night. Seeing it there made me chuckle to myself. He was too organized and too self-conscious to just leave it out in the open if he expected company, even me. We lay on the bed, wrestling and laughing as we made out, until passion overwhelmed us.

I lubed my dick and lay on top of him, pushing into him like I loved to do, using the length of my dick to fuck him almost in the same position I’d fuck a girl. I ground my shaved pubes into his cock as my own dick slid in and out of him gently.

“Baby, I want to do it, I want to cum, then I want to do it,” I said in my huskiest voice. I made my hand into the fisting shape and held it up to his face. He kissed my hand and sucked on my fingers. I needed this, to be this close to him, to share this much intimacy with him. He’d gone a long way tonight, making sure I knew he wanted me to be a big part of his life. It was my turn to seal that link.

“Oh God. Oh God. I want that so bad. I want that so bad!” he said. I worked myself quickly then pulled out and blew my load into his hand. He greedily slurped it up, making me grin. Then together we worked my hand up his ass, and then I used it to give him one of the most massive orgasms of his life.

We lay there afterward, with me on his chest. I could feel him still shaking and twitching underneath me long after it was over. “You know, Brad, when you get all upset and think about me fucking around with some other guy, you ask yourself if you think he can even come close to making me do that.”

That was a subject, a topic that should have upset me, but it didn’t. Instead I just laughed. “So I’m welcome to come over here?” I asked.

“As often as you want.”

“You really mean that?” I still couldn’t grasp that he’d really want me to be part of this world, and to maybe be in the way if he was with someone else.

“Yeah, I do.”

And then I did something I didn’t plan to do, didn’t expect to do, and didn’t want to do. I started crying. The tears just wouldn’t stop. He held me tight. “What’s wrong baby? What’s the matter?”

“I’m just such a mess inside. I have all these feelings that are bubbling up, like lava in a volcano. I try to deal with them, but it’s so fucking hard.”

“It’s OK. We’ll get through this. We will,” he said soothingly.

“We will?” I asked him, needing reassurance.

“Yeah, we will.” He sounded convinced. I wasn’t so sure, but I feasted on his exuded confidence.

December 8, 1999

His alarm went off at 7am, and I let him go enough to shut it off. He tried to get up but I held onto him, keeping him pinned. “I have to get ready for work,” he said, determined.

“Is this why you need your own place?” I asked, as I gently stroked his cock.

“Mmm,” he sighed. I slid over on top of him and locked my mouth onto his while I lowered myself down onto his dick, taking him easily. We’d been lovers for so long, it was easy to read him. He was focused and in a hurry, so I made it quick but meaningful. After we came, he gave me a smile to thank me. I hopped into the shower with him, getting all cleaned up, and only after I was done and standing there naked did I realize I’d have to put yesterday’s clothes on.

“There’s a few of your things in there,” he said, pointing to the closet.

“You packed up stuff for me?” I asked, stunned.

“Yeah. I wanted you to spend time with me here. It feels like we’re alone in the world, just the two of us.” I couldn’t stop smiling, smiling like a complete idiot. “You can just leave the dirty ones there and they’ll be here next time, all nice and clean.”

I threw on the clean clothes he’d brought over for me and hurried down to his car with him. “That was a really sweet and thoughtful thing to do.”

“Even when we’re pissed off at each other, I still love you,” he told me. He fired up the Ferrari for the quick trip to the office.

“When’s your next appointment with David?” I asked him.

“It’s actually on Friday morning.”

“Come up on Thursday night and spend it with me,” I said.

“That an order?” he asked playfully.

“No, a request. I’ll beg if you want me to,” I said, flirting.

“Thursday night I’m on your calendar,” he said.

“I know you’re in a hurry, but I was wondering if you’d do me a favor.”

“What?” he asked nervously.

“If you don’t have plans, hang out with Cody while I’m gone.”

“Why? You want me to let him fuck me?” He’d said that in a really nasty way, and he realized it at the end. He gave me an apologetic look.

“If you want to. He’s not a threat to you, or to me. But he is lonely.”

We were at the office now, but I’d piqued his interest. “What about Max?”

“They broke up, more or less.” He stared at me, stunned. “You remember that minister, Father Tim, that I told you about? He and Max are an item now.”

“Wow. Yeah, I’ll give him a call and maybe we’ll hook up and do something.”

“Show him your apartment. It’s one of my favorite places,” I said, and gave him a nice kiss.

“So who are you going to be with?” he asked me. I had to smile at the jealousy that bore through his shields.

“I’m guessing Kevin, unless he turns me down.” Now it was his turn to grin.

“Now I am jealous,” he said. “But only because I want to be there. See if you can get him to stick around on Thursday.”

“I’m not enough?” I joked. He frowned at me, and I laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.” I gave him one last kiss, and headed home, then to the airport, and then to Palo Alto. It was lunch time by the time I got in, so Stef and Luke met me at a French restaurant near Stanford.

“And how was your odyssey?” Stef asked, seeing my glow.

“Not very good,” I said, confusing him. “You don’t want to hear all the sordid details of my love life,” I said to Luke.

“Oh yes I do. Not much else to do these days,” he groused. Stef gave him a dirty look, while I just nodded.

“Well I have some ideas on how to keep both of you busy,” he said.

“I’ll bet.” Luke said. We were about to order, when I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see JP standing there. I jumped up and gave him a big hug. Our hugs were magical, and not in the way that my hugs with Robbie were. JP and I seemed to exchange energy, and whichever of us was weaker would almost physically suck emotional energy out of the other. This time, I needed him. I didn’t really realize how much until we started hugging, and then it was like I couldn’t let go. We stood there, embracing, for a really long time. JP hated public displays of affection, but he understood me, understood what I needed, and just let me hug him for as long as I wanted. I finally broke it off.

“You seem glad to see me,” he said, smiling.

“I am. What a great surprise!”

Luke shook his hand. “I’d hug you JP, but I think you’ve had enough for one lunch. What brings you here?”

“JP has been working on some plans to revitalize Claremont. I thought that since our normal activities are going to be slightly diminished, I would try to enlist your help and support on this project.”

“Stef, I’m not an urban planner,” Luke objected.

“If we are to revitalize Claremont, it will take more than just a nice urban plan. We will need to create jobs, lots of jobs, jobs for educated people,” JP said. “I’m flying out to Claremont at the end of the week to meet with Nick. He’s developing a plan, and I’ve got some of it to share with you.”

JP cleared off the center of the table and pulled out a large roll of paper with a schematic of downtown Claremont, only it didn’t look like downtown Claremont at all. “This is where we’re headed. Nick’s already done a lot of legwork on this. He commissioned and paid for an urban planning group to come in and prepare this plan.”

“The mill has green space around it. You think planting trees around it will hide it and make it look prettier?” I asked, being snarky.

JP scowled at me. “The old factory will be converted into loft apartments, as will this area here,” he said, pointing to the adjacent part of the city. “The warehouses will be configured so their ground floor space is open for shops, bars, and other commercial ventures.”

“What are those things?” I asked.

“Those are enclosed passageways connecting the buildings, like the tubes they have in Minneapolis. I’m not sure if they’ll make it into the final plan or not,” JP said.

“This area has been completely cleared, except for a few places,” Luke observed. “What’s that all about?”

“That’s East Claremont. It’s always been the poor side of town. The houses there are pretty shoddy as a result. You can see here on the west side we’ve maintained the existing structures, but here on the east side, we’ve opted to plow them down. The buildings you see marked are those designated by the Claremont Historical Committee as being significant enough to keep.”

“You can’t just plow down a whole city, can you?” Luke asked.

“It’s not a plan we’ll do all of a sudden, it’s a master plan designed to guide the city as it transforms itself. It’s supposed to change as it goes.”

“These are apartments or office buildings?” I asked, noting the newer mid-rise structures downtown.

“Both,” JP said. “We’ve planned to make the entire riverfront into a long, meandering park on both sides, up until we get to the western part of downtown. Then the buildings will abut the river.”

“Well all this looks great, JP. How does this involve us?” Luke asked.

“We are going to need employers there,” Stef said. “I think we can lure some of our more struggling partners into relocating there.”

“You want them to leave the Bay Area for Claremont?” Luke asked, incredulous. I shared his disbelief.

“Not everyone can afford a house here,” Stef reminded him. “There are other things to commend it. If they are struggling, and they are willing to blaze a trail, it could be smart for them.”

“So you want Luke to look for borderline companies that we can pump up in exchange for having them relocate?” I asked. He nodded. “What about me?”

“I want you to play a key role in the renovation of the factory district,” Stef revealed. That made sense. I’d cut my teeth on real estate, and I knew it well.

“Alright, all this looks great on paper if we’re playing with a city with no residents, but there are real people here, many of them assholes. I’m not personally willing to invest a huge amount of time and energy on this only to have it killed by crusading Christians and ignorant rednecks.” I had enough going on in my life without doing this stuff for no reason at all.

“We’ll know how that works out in February,” JP said. “The mayor is stepping down, and appointing Nick as his successor. Between now and then, Nick is supporting two referenda. The first will be the ‘Claremont Revitalization’ bill, and will encompass zoning and public approval for this master plan. The second will be the ‘Live Free Claremont’ bill, which will include tough anti-discrimination ordinances to protect those of different races or sexual orientation, including penalties for employers, landlords or public accommodations that violate them. It’s designed to send a message of tolerance to the citizens, current and prospective, of Claremont.”

“So you’re going to make the people of Claremont commit to this before we do?” Luke asked.

“I am, but we still have to do the preliminary work. People have short attention spans. We’ll need to deliver results in a relatively short period of time.”

“Well, at least it’s something to fill up my time,” Luke said. I agreed with him, but didn’t feel much enthusiasm for the project. I didn’t have much faith in the people of Claremont.