Millennium - 43. Chapter 43

December 25, 1999

 

I woke up to find myself alone with Robbie. I moved closer to him and took my favorite place on his chest. I saw his eyes flicker open. “Merry Christmas.”

He kissed me. “Merry Christmas.” He yawned and stretched, and it was so sexy to feel his muscles moving beneath me. “I had fun last night.”

“I’m glad. I figured you’d be OK with that. I found Jeanine on the deck all by herself. It just seemed like the right thing to do. And you always wanted to have a threesome with her.”

“I did. I thought it would be hot and I was right.”

“You were,” I smiled.

“I was worried that you were going to do, you know, it. Last night.” He’d gone from playful and fun to really concerned.

“It would be really hard to do it without you being OK with it,” I teased, trying to keep the mood light.

“It turns me on so much, I don’t think I could say no if you wanted to,” he said. His tone told me that I couldn’t just play this off.

“That’s our thing,” I said firmly. “On those occasions when we do it, it’s about us being close. I don’t want to do that with anyone else again.” I felt him relax underneath me.

“I guess part of me is a sexist, and I still think it’s kinky. It would really freak me out to do that in front of a lady like Jeanine.”

“I’m really sorry,” I said, and leaned up to look in his eyes. “I know how much it turns you on, that’s why I teased you, to get you all fired up. I didn’t mean to kill your buzz.”

“It’s OK,” he said, to let me know he got where I was coming from and to let me know it was a closed issue. “So Matt and Wade are trying to knock Tiffany up, eh?” he asked, changing the subject.

“That seems to be the plan. I remember crying babies. I’m glad we moved over here,” I joked.

“You think my mid-life crisis was bad before, wait and see how bad it gets if I become a grandpa.”

I laughed. “If she gets pregnant, I’ll get a Lamborghini for you.”

“None of that shit matters. All that matters is that we’re together. The rest is irrelevant.” Hearing him say that, knowing he was back with me in body and mind, made me really happy. But like I often do, I blew that euphoric mood by getting all pensive. “What?” he asked nervously.

“It’s kind of funny, but I gave you all that shit about having your mid-life crisis, but as soon as we weren’t exclusive, I spent most of my energy trying to prove that I was still young, or at least attractive. I guess I was doing the same thing you were.” Was I so focused on the pain of losing him in November that I’d blocked out my own crisis?

“You work it out of your system?” he asked me. Now he was really nervous. I thought about all the times in the past two months I’d wanted to hurt him. I didn’t want to do that anymore. I didn’t want to do that ever again.

“No, I bought you that ring because it was pretty,” I said, being a smart ass. “I’ve been with you, even when I haven’t been, since 1980. I had some fun while we weren’t together. Cody was probably the most fun, because he can be a friend you fuck without that threat of a romance. But the whole time I was miserable without you.”

“It seemed like such a good idea back in November,” he replied. “I was so fucking stupid, it’s almost comical. I had this great idea, only the first time I saw you with someone else, I almost went mad with jealousy.” In a weird, twisted way, that made me happy. I’d been trying to make him jealous, to make him realize, hopefully, what he’d given up by dumping me, and I’d succeeded.

“It’s over. We’ve grown up a lot in the process, and we’ve grown closer. I’ve never felt so linked to you,” I said. I didn’t want to go back to that painful five weeks or so.

He seemed to get that. “We just need to remember to keep things fun and new. I mean that thing you did with the box and the fettuccini. That meant so much to me.”

“It was hot having those warm noodles all over my body?” I asked, as I writhed against him sensually. He snaughed.

“The hottest thing that night was when you cuffed yourself to the bed. I’d never been so sure of your love as at that moment.” I ignored that, because it irked me that he’d have to have me so restrained to feel that kind of love, and I didn’t want to argue.

“And the way you whisked me off to St. Bart’s. It was the same way. Take me back there again and I won’t be so bitchy.” He laughed. We got up and took a shower together, making love as the water pounded down onto out bodies. “Sex with you is always good. You can give me a quick hand job and it’s better than a fuck with anyone else.” He gave me that adorable grin of his, the one that made him look like he did when I first met him. God, I loved this man.

We went over to the Mission around 10:00am. I thought it was a little bit ostentatious to go in a bunch of limos, but it was the easiest way to transport our group. Tim was there to greet us as we drove up. I appointed myself as the director of our group, to make sure he met everyone. There was an aura of happiness around him. I couldn’t decide if that came from having his Mission on a solid financial footing, from being with Max, or both.

Around 11am, Tim rounded up all the guys and they opened their presents. There was nothing quite like watching these guys, rejected by their families and shit on by the world, getting a thrill out of actually having someone care enough about them to buy them a present. I caught JP’s eye and he smiled at me. It was his example, well, and my mother’s, that had instilled this into us, this need to try and make society better. It was their example that made it so easy for Ace, Claire and me, and our families, to interact so easily with these guys at the opposite end of the socio-economic order.

“There were several boxes that were delivered a few days ago,” Tim said. “They were big boxes. We put them in the rec room.”

We headed to the rec room, an area with a TV and some couches where the guys could hang out. There were a bunch of boxes, and just as Tim said, they were big. “They’re taking up a lot of room,” I said. “What are they?”

“There’s this note that says we can’t open them until noon on Christmas.” We all looked at our watches. It was after noon. “There’s a last name on the shipping invoice. It says Hobart.”

“Jack and Claire,” I said. He looked at me, and then nodded. “Hey Jack,” I called. “What did you buy these guys?”

“Some toys,” he said blithely. Tim and I snagged some of the guys to open them up, and their eyes really bulged. Jack basically outfitted their rec room just like he’d outfitted his own: Foosball, bubble hockey, air hockey, and a new TV with a Playstation. The guys seemed as excited about that as they’d been about their presents.

Dinner was nice. We had it catered, and the guys sure tore through the food. Tim said a prayer, and I watched Max dutifully bow his head as he did. It seemed that Max was embracing religion as much as he was embracing Tim. That might have bothered me, but Tim’s kind of religion seemed good. I was trying to grapple with that whole thing, of good vs. bad religion, when Robbie interrupted my train of thought.

“You aren’t even curious about what I got you for Christmas?”

“You are all that I need,” I said honestly.

“I decided to do some redecorating,” he said mysteriously. “You know the room you gave me, my room?”

“Your room?” I asked, smiling. He was talking about the room we’d put aside as his, back when there was a huge chasm between us. I fought back the sadness that tried to envelop me as I remembered that time.

“Yeah, so since it was my room, I figured it would be OK for me to redecorate it.”

What was he doing? Was he going to turn it into an office or something? For me, for him, or for both of us? I forced myself to relax, confident that I’d guessed his plan. “Absolutely. It’s your room. Decorate it however you want.”

He pulled out a large manila envelope and handed it to me. I opened it up and there was a set of plans and diagrams inside. “I’m building us a love den,” he said. He leaned in and kissed me, then whispered in my ear: “A playground for us.”

I laughed, really laughed, stopping only to kiss him, and he laughed with me. “That’s really cool. That’s amazing! Thanks.” I couldn’t stop smiling at him. He was doing this, building this, for us, so we could keep our relationship fun; so we could enjoy each other in so many different ways. What a thoughtful present. I hugged him tightly but snuck my hand in between us and gently stroked his dick through his pants. “What kind of toys are you buying for us?”

“I’m not sure,” he said. “I’m getting some help with that.”

“I see you got your present,” Stef said, interrupting us.

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew. Who do you think is decorating it for you,” he said. “I have never done a love den before. It has been fun doing the research on it.” Then I really laughed, and so did Robbie. Who better than Stef to build a sexual playground?

“This I have to see,” I said. The thoughts of what a ‘love den’ might look like from Stef’s perspective were hysterical.

“You will have to wait for a bit. I did not want to start construction until after New Years Day.”

“I can’t believe you’re letting Stef decorate it,” I said to Robbie. I couldn’t stop laughing, and it was contagious. I was really enjoying myself when I saw Tiffany and Jeanine in the corner, clearly arguing.

I went over to see Matt and Wade. “So did you guys fuck her all night long?” I asked, gesturing at Tiffany.

“Yep,” Matt said, grinning.

“What’s she pissed off about?”

“She’s mad that Jeanine was with you guys instead of with us,” Matt said. “I think she had this vision that we’d fuck her while she just lay there and held Jeanine’s hand.”

“That wouldn’t have worked out anyway,” Wade said with his cute grin. “That girl loves sex.”

“I thought she was a lesbian?”

“I think she’s bisexual,” Wade said. “She didn’t hold back with us at all.”

“So which one of you knocked her up?”

“We don’t know. We both blew in her. I think it will be me, because my sperm are tougher,” Matt said.

“They’re stoned and swimming in circles,” Wade joked.

“You talk to her about how you’re going to handle the kid after he or she is born?”

“She’s talked about this before,” Matt said, shocking the shit out of me. “I just didn’t know it was gonna be last night. She wants a baby. I said I’d help support it, and be in his or her life as much as I could. I know I’m only 19, but thanks to you guys, I can afford to help her do this. I figure by the time I’m done with college and ready to be a little more responsible, the kid will need me in his or her life.” I thought it was funny how they both assumed the kid would be Matt’s, but I went with it.

I nodded, but I must have looked nervous. “What?” Wade asked.

“I think that if she’s pregnant, you’ll find that your paternal instincts are a lot stronger than that.” He’d thought the timeline through perfectly, but I knew he hadn’t accounted for that amazingly powerful parental instinct.

“You want me to raise the kid?” Matt asked.

“No, dumb ass,” I said. “You make it seem really relaxed and informal: like you won’t be around at all. I just think you’ll want to be more involved than that.”

“Not everything has to be hyper-organized,” he said, as much to Wade as to me. “Did you talk to Jeanine about it before you fucked her?”

“Well, no,” I said, backing up fast. “Back then, we weren’t trying to get pregnant though.”

“So it happened and you worked it out,” Matt said.

“I get it,” I said. His lackadaisical attitude about this bothered me, but I’d really been no different.

“Besides, I’m kind of hoping it takes us a while to conceive,” Matt joked. “And I’m hoping Jeanine joins us so we can show her what young guys can do.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” I teased him. “Show her what you young guys can do. I’m sure it’s good for the 15 seconds you last.”

“Dude, I’m not 17 anymore,” Matt said severely, but I still laughed at him. “Maybe you should come up and watch too.”

“My days of playing around are over,” I said. I looked over to Robbie and caught his eye. He had been watching me, not because he didn’t trust me, but because he missed me.

“You guys are acting like you just fell in love. Dude, it’s gross.” Like Matt wasn’t like that with Wade.

“No, it’s fucking awesome,” I said, and winked at both of them. They laughed, and I wandered over to see Tiffany and Jeanine.

“I hope you ladies are enjoying yourselves,” I said to them.

“We’re fine,” Jeanine snapped.

I ignored her and talked to Tiffany. “Thanks for letting Jeanine spend time with us last night. I haven’t always treated her with the respect she deserves. I’m trying to be a better friend. Like most guys, it’s easiest for me to express myself physically.”

Tiffany looked at me intensely. “It’s OK.”

I turned to Jeanine. “It was really fun, but I’m still gay.” I watched her try not to laugh, but she caught Tiffany’s eye, and they both cracked up. Maybe I helped save them some pain in their relationship. I thought about how much it hurt to lose the one you loved, and then the scheming wheels in my brain began to really turn, not for good, but for evil.

I was working my way back to Robbie when Wade stopped me. “I don’t know if you have plans, or if you’d be interested, but Matt and I are flying out to DC on the 28^th for my parents’ big Holiday party. My mother always invites the Carmichaels, and they always come.”

I smiled at him. “Can I bring a date?”

“Sure.”

“Let me talk to Robbie about it,” I said. “I’ll let you know later.”

I finally found Robbie. “You have a minute?” He looked at me nervously. “I just want to run something by you.” He shrugged and followed me into the deserted hallway.

“What is it?”

“Wade invited me to go to his parents’ Christmas Party on the 28^th. It’s in DC.”

“Why would you want to go to a DC party?”

“Because the Carmichaels will be there,” I said. “And Brian too, most likely.”

“I’m not sure I can get away,” he said. “Or did you even want me to go?”

“Of course I want you to go,” I snapped, even though I really didn’t. “I just think I could really mess them up. I saw a picture of my father when I visited Mike. I look just like him. I think that alone would really freak out my wicked stepmother.”

“If I don’t go with you, who will?”

“I thought I’d ask Cody to go with me,” I said. He gave me a really foul look. “Not to fuck him. Just to go with me.”

He grabbed my arm, and not that nicely, and pulled me to the door. “You want Cody to go with you so he can fuck Brian, and Brian can get busted by David with Cody’s dick up his ass,” he said accusingly. I said nothing. That was exactly my plan. “Look at them.” He gestured to Kevin and Cody. They were acting all lovey-dovey, doing all those little things that new couples do. They were acting just like Robbie and I were. “You think it’s worth risking that?” And then I got what he was saying.

“You’re telling me not to lose myself in this, and not to destroy my own life and the people I love just to win?”

He grinned, proud of himself for getting his point across. “Something like that.”

“What if I asked Cody if he wanted to do it, and Kevin was OK with it?” I wasn’t sure I was going to do that, but I wanted to know if that was really what this was about, or if he just didn’t want me going to DC with Cody.

“Then I guess it would be up to you guys.”

“I want to know what you think,” I insisted.

“I know you have to play hardball in this thing Brad, but I don’t have to like it, OK? I’m not judging you, or telling you not to. I’m just worried that after you win, and you will win, this will seem like the way to do it next time.”

“You’re worried I’ll lose my soul in this fight?”

“Yeah.” He was really nervous, and I got that. He was expecting me to lose my cool, to tell him that this was a fight I had to fight, and that I was going to do whatever it took. He was expecting me to call him a pussy, and tell him to mind his own fucking business. I could see where in the past I might have done that, but I didn’t even want to now. I didn’t have time to wonder why.

“I see where you’re coming from. Maybe you can help make sure that doesn’t happen.” He stared at me, stunned at that, at my reaction.

He smiled. “I’ll do that. You need to go do this, you go. Just make sure you’re on the up and up with Cody and Kevin.”

I wandered over to Cody and Kevin and interrupted their interlude. “I have to pee,” Kevin said. “I’ll be right back.” It was really sweet the way Cody followed him with his eyes, and seemed unsettled without him around.

“I’m going to DC on the 28^th with Wade and Matt to Wade’s parents’ party. The Carmichaels will be there, and I’m assuming Brian will, too. You want to be my date?” His eyes bore into me and I let him in, let him read me.

“I would love to help you take that fucker down,” Cody said, referring to Brian. “Let me talk to Kevin about it, OK?”

“OK. You don’t have to fuck him Cody. Just you being there will fluster him.”

“Yeah, but I want to do more than just fluster him.”

“What makes you think you can even get into his pants?” I asked, smiling. He was about to laugh when a voice behind me broke into our conversation.

“Get into whose pants?” Kevin asked. It was cute to see how jealous that made him.

I leaned in and whispered in Cody’s ear. “It’s not worth losing Kevin.” I left them alone, and watched them talking, then arguing, then talking. I thought about what Robbie said. Maybe he was right. Maybe fighting dirty would cost me as much as them.

 

December 28, 1999

 

“If you fuck him, you fuck him, but I’d rather you didn’t,” Robbie said as I packed to go to the airport. He was nervous about me being alone with Cody.

“I could say the same thing about Kevin,” I joked. He didn’t laugh. “I’m teasing, Robbie. I said I wouldn’t and I won’t.”

“Sometimes we all make mistakes,” he said.

“I won’t, but if I do, I promise I’ll tell you, OK?”

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too. You know that right?” He nodded. He was starting to irritate me. “I don’t mind you asking me about this, and I don’t mind you talking about it, but when you don’t trust me, it pisses me off.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I do trust you.”

“I’ll be home tomorrow.” I gave him one last kiss and took my bag down the stairs to find Cody and Kevin having a similar goodbye scene.

“Don’t fuck my man,” Kevin said, trying to make it a joke when it definitely wasn’t, at least in his mind.

“I’ll keep my hands off yours if you keep your hands off mine,” I teased. That got a smile. I nodded to Cody and we headed out to the limo. “I didn’t know you were his man,” I said as we got into the car.

“Like your guy is any more secure about this,” he said.

“I’m not allowed to fuck you,” I said, and grinned.

“I’ll remember that,” he said, grinning back at me.

“So you guys seem pretty tight,” I said, fishing.

He gave me that look, the one that said I was annoying. Then he sighed. “Yeah, we are. I haven’t felt this way about someone for a long time. Only this time, I think we actually have a chance. The last time was Matt, and that was never going to work.”

“Kevin may tame the wolf?”

“He may,” Cody said. He had a wistful smile on his face, and I was happy for him.

We met Matt and Wade on the plane. I took that chance to pump Wade for info. “I didn’t know your mother and my wicked stepmother were friends.”

Wade laughed. “Mention that again to my mom. She could use the laugh. They despise each other.”

“Then why is she invited to their party?”

“Because she gives my father money, and he supports their business in the Senate.”

“And you were worried about me becoming all twisted,” Cody joked. We landed and the car was there to pick us up and take us to the Four Seasons Hotel. That’s where the party was being held, but we’d only been able to snag a single room, another thing that bothered Robbie about this trip. Cody and I would be sharing a room. We got our keys and went to our rooms to change.

“So if I bring a guy back here, you going to just watch?” he asked.

“Yeah. Maybe give you a play by play critique,” I joked.

He stripped off his clothes and I couldn’t keep my eyes off his sexy body. “So you can’t fuck me, huh?”

“Nope.”

“What about blow jobs?”

“Those are allowed,” I said, smiling. I took him into my mouth and made him cum much more quickly than I wanted to, but we had to get ready. It was a black tie affair, so we both had our tuxes out, trying to eradicate any wrinkles that had magically appeared on the trip. I put on my diamond cufflinks, and Cody chuckled.

“They won’t know what to think of you with your flashy Hollywood wrists.”

“You think I should wear different ones?” I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“No, I think you look great. I think those work perfectly. They’ll attract attention, and turn a few of these snobby heads.” I smiled, gave him a nice kiss, and then led him down to the party. Matt and Wade were waiting for us. They looked amazing. “You two are hot,” Cody said.

“Dude, look who’s talking,” Matt said. He winked at me. Wade put his arm around me and led me over to meet his parents.

“Mom, Dad, this is Brad Schluter,” he said.

“Elizabeth Danfield,” she said. She was refined and elegant, just as you’d expect from a woman raised in a world of unlimited wealth and married to a senator. I shook her hand and gave her a faux kiss on each cheek. “I’m so glad you could make it.” Her hand felt cold and frigid.

“Thank you for the invitation.” I eyed this woman and could feel the darkness emanating from her.

“Wade said you are interested in meeting Alexandra Carmichael?”

“I hear you two are good friends,” I joked. She laughed, a really beautiful laugh, or at least it would have been if anyone else had laughed it.

“I’m not sure that’s the correct term.” She moved off after that.

“It’s nice to meet you Senator,” I said, shaking Wade’s father’s hand.

“Call me Jeff,” he said. “I don’t know how to thank you for all you’ve done for Wade.”

“We’ve adopted him. He’s part of our family now. We’re just glad you were willing to share him with us.” I watched Wade interact with him and noticed how stunted their relationship still was. Wade’s father had molested him for years. If I didn’t know how hard he was trying to help his son heal, it would have been really difficult to even be that civil to him.

We headed to the bar, Cody and I, both of us scanning the room for Brian and the Carmichaels. There were a lot of guests here. Cody finally found them and nudged me. Brian was standing in a group of people, close to a guy that looked a lot like Mike. That had to be David, but he was probably about 50 pounds overweight, and had a pudgy, pasty face. “I guess that’s kind of what I’d look like if I got fat,” I said to Cody.

Cody leaned in close so his lips brushed against my ear. “Dude, even fat you’d be so much hotter than that guy.” I chuckled. The lady with them had high cheekbones and dark hair as well, done in a conservative bob style. She looked like a middle-aged, high-powered businesswoman, with her crisp, no-nonsense dress. It was as close to business attire as a woman could get in a formal society function. I visualized her wearing a tuxedo and almost laughed out loud.

Brian was scanning the people at the party as well. I watched his eyes go across the room in a standard search pattern, as if he were a robot, until he got to me. It was pleasant to see the surprise in his expression, and to see that surprise morph into bitterness when he saw Cody.

“I think Brian recognized you,” I told him.