Millennium - 46. Chapter 46

December 31, 1999

 

Stef had actually planned this as if there were two separate parties going on at the same time. In our house, he had a small band playing background music, light jazz and classical stuff. In my house, there was a full rock band. It was pretty funny, walking through “the tube” between the houses, and going from this sedate, classy music and right into “It’s Raining Men”. Stef picked the music too, evidently. I was currently on the sedate side with Robbie, although I was spending most of my time talking to Claire and Jack.

“Daddy seems so much better now that he’s disowned Brian,” she said.

“It was like an albatross around his neck,” Jack concurred.

“I just don’t see why it was such a big decision.” To me it had been obvious. “It bothers me that for the second time, he sided with that sleazeball instead of with me. The first time really pissed me off, but this was just unbelievable.” It would take me a while to heal the wound between the two of us.

“I can see why you would feel that way,” Claire said calmly, “but I’m sure that’s not how he played it out in his mind.”

“I’m not going to worry about it anymore. I don’t want to dive into Dad’s mind and try to understand his twisted rationale. I’m just going to make smashing Brian into a pulp my primary mission. If Dad goes back on his word, though, and helps that asshole, I will never forgive him for that.” I was surprised at the venom in my words.

“I don’t think I could either,” Jack said. Claire just nodded. They wandered off to talk to my mother, while I went over to see Robbie. He was talking to a really hunky guy who looked like an actor. The guy must have been one of Cody’s clients, because he was standing there with him.

“Hey Brad,” Robbie said, and gave me an affectionate kiss. The hunky actor looked uncomfortable with that, but he tried to hide it gamely enough. “This is Aaron Eckhart. He’s one of the stars in Erin Brockovich, one of the movies we’re producing.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said. He was really handsome, with classic looks, and blond hair. He seemed nervous, even shaking my hand. If this guy was freaked out by gay guys, he wasn’t going to make it far in this town.

“Nice to meet you too,” he said, as if forcing himself to be friendly. “Cody has told me a lot about you.”

“I fear you have me at a disadvantage then,” I said to both of them.

“Aaron’s originally from Cupertino,” Robbie said. “But you grew up in England?”

“I lived there for a while, and I lived in Australia. I did my mission work in France and Switzerland, and spent some time in Hawaii.”

“Mission work?” I asked.

“I’m a Mormon,” he said.

“More or less,” Cody added, and they both laughed at that.

“You’ve got a sweet set up for the surf,” he said.

“You’re a surfer too, eh? You should come out and hit the waves with me sometime.” I was flirting with him, but it was all in fun. A look at Robbie told me I was doing just fine.

“I might just do that,” he said, and raised an eyebrow. “You guys surf?” he asked Cody and Robbie.

“They pretend to,” I said, slamming them good-naturedly. I talked with them for a while, and then he moved on. Ironically enough, his place was taken by another hunky actor, but I knew this guy.

“Joaquin Phoenix,” I said, flirting shamelessly as I always did with him. “You’ve been hiding from me.”

“It’s the only way I can keep my self-control,” he said, flirting back. He was usually a pretty shy guy, and usually pretty fucked up. It was hard to have him at parties like this and watch him drink and do drugs just like his older brother had done. But when he was sober, and you got him out of the public eye, he was a pretty good guy. He was in Gladiator, another of Robbie’s soon-to-be-launched movies.

We moved through the Hollywood crowd, not as celebrities, but as a power couple. I’d learned to do this watching my mother; how to be with Robbie but not to smother him. How to interpret his signals that he needed or wanted me there and how to read when he didn’t. It was an acquired skill, and I thought I did a damn good job with it.

Luke arrived with his latest wife, and that was my cue to break away from Robbie and his crowd and migrate with Luke over to see Stef. He was enjoying a conversation with Jackie, Cody’s boss, and one of the tackiest women in Hollywood.

“You brought all your dour businessmen from the Bay with you,” she said disapprovingly.

“Now come on,” Luke said, flirting. “We’re not dour.” She perked up at this heterosexual hunk that was paying attention to her, but Luke’s wife wasn’t very excited about that, about having her husband talking to Jackie, so they moved on.

“Cody talk to you about that little shit from Broadmore? Justin Blalock?” she asked Stef and me.

“Nope,” I said. Stef said nothing. Broadmore and Braithwaite was another agency, and Justin Blalock was an agent for them just like Cody was for Jackie. “He hit on my man a few times though.”

“He’s been running after our clients, playing who’s got the biggest dick with Cody. I swear to God they almost got into a fight at my party.” I’d missed that part of her party. That was probably where Robbie was freaking out. “I didn’t even invite the son of a bitch. He just showed up.”

“You are more than a match for him,” Stef said.

“And Cody does have the bigger dick,” I said reassuringly.

“And how do you know this?” she asked me, grinning.

“I’m a gay man. It’s my job to know these things,” I joked.

“Cody’s too hung up on that twink from Stanford to notice. He’s going to lose his clients while he falls in love,” she said disdainfully. I got a warning look from Stef, one that said it wasn’t worth arguing about. I ignored it.

“I think they make a cute couple, and they make each other happy. That’s got to be worth something,” I said. She looked at me, about to make a smart-ass remark, and then she remembered who I was. She needed Robbie in her corner a lot more than he needed her.

“So you say, sweet cheeks.” She looked around, as if anxious to get away from me. “I must find the ladies’ room.”

“They will not let you in,” Stef teased.

“Don’t I know it,” she said as she walked off.

“She is not a bad person, and she will not cause problems for Cody and Kevin,” Stef said insistently.

“And you base that on?”

He chuckled. “Wishful thinking.” We laughed.

I mingled some more, then looked around for Robbie but couldn’t find him. I wandered over into my house and was hit with blasting rock music. There were people dancing on the marble floors, and beyond that, on the deck, were all the smokers. I went outside and lit a joint, then stood there talking to some studio executives while they alternately smoked their cigars and took hits of my pot. I hadn’t seen Robbie for a while, so I wandered over to the stairs. One of the big guys that Stef hired from the mission was guarding them, keeping minors away.

“Did Robbie go up here?”

“Yeah, a bit ago,” he said. I nodded and walked past him, up the stairs to the bedrooms, a couple of which had been configured with a specific purpose in mind. I’d put my foot down and made Stef leave my room and Cody’s room off limits. He’d set aside another room for, as he termed it, intimate encounters, while another was more for groups. In his parlance, that meant that one was for private hookups, and the other was for an orgy. Then there was another one for harder drugs. That one made me nervous, but by having it here, we kept that shit out of the bathrooms, and we could keep our guys away from it. I was tempted to go in there and do a line of coke, but I resisted.

Going upstairs was dangerous because the prime temptations were sex and drugs, and I wasn’t thrilled with Robbie being around either. I peeked into the hook-up room and saw some guy boning that actress in Boys Don’t Cry, so I closed and locked the door back up. There were a few guys going at it in the orgy room, but Robbie wasn’t one of them. I was going to check the drug room, but I decided to try our bedroom first. That’s where I found him, just hanging out alone.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Waiting for you to find me,” he said. He pulled me into a hug and gave me a big kiss. “I figured you’d miss me and come looking for me. You probably thought you’d catch me in the other room, fucking the whole town.”

“What is this, some big test?” I asked, kind of pissed off.

“No, I was joking,” he said hastily.

“Well, I came up here looking for you, and went into all the other rooms first and didn’t find you. It really didn’t freak me out though.”

“Why not?”

“Because I trust you,” I told him, and I did.

“Aaron wanted me to fuck him,” he said.

“The Mormon?”

“Yeah.”

“So that’s why you came up here? So you wouldn’t be tempted?”

“Maybe a little of that, but just to get away from the situation,” he said.

“And now you’re guilty because you actually thought about fucking him?”

“Yeah.”

“Robbie, I think about fucking other guys. I thought about doing him. He’s smoking hot. That doesn’t mean I’m going to.”

“I love my job, what I do, but I hate this fucking town. These people have no scruples, and they’ll do anything to get what they want. They’re a bunch of fucking whores,” he said angrily.

“And now you’re mad because he wanted you to fuck him, you wanted to fuck him, and you might just have done it.”

He couldn’t admit it, he just hugged me. I could feel the stress in him. This was a real tough town to be faithful in. “It takes a lot of self-control to be monogamous in this town,” I told him. “We let the genie out of the bottle, so we have to learn it all over again.”

“And it’s such bullshit. Now that I’m up here, I don’t want to be with him at all. I don’t even like him. He’s a Mormon on the outside, acting like gay guys are pigs, while at the same time he’s out trolling for the biggest cock in town.” I wondered if that was the guy Cody had planned to set me up with. I put that thought aside. For now. “But when it was the two of us, I was so tempted, and I almost gave in.”

“But you didn’t give in. You came up here instead to get your act together.” He nodded. “Look, you get tempted like that again, you come find me. Worst case is we fuck him together.”

He chuckled at that. “That’s not the point.”

“Robbie, we have to go back to the party and be good hosts. You’re up here beating the shit out of yourself because you came within an inch of fucking a really hot guy. You know what I’m thinking?”

“What?”

“I’m thinking about how proud I am of you for not doing it.” He looked at me and gave me that adorable grin of his. “And I’m also really happy that we’re close enough to talk about this shit.” There was something else bothering him. “Tell me. What is it?”

“It’s so high risk. It’s so horrible. If I’d have fucked up, I would have hurt you really bad and ruined us. Again.”

“No you wouldn’t have. If you had done it, I’d have been pissed off. You’d have some penalties to pay, like probably having to stand by while I boned half the guys here. But I would have gotten over it. I would have forgiven you. Wouldn’t you have forgiven me?”

“Yeah. After some penance,” he said.

“Get this through your head though. I’m never going to be OK with it if the guy’s more than just a fuck. You go down that road, have an exit strategy.” I was severe, because I meant it.

“I got it,” he said. “Thanks for taking some time to talk about this.” I looked at my watch, and then pushed him back onto the bed.

“I think you need to be just a little less horny,” I joked, and then I blew him. It was quick but fun. We headed downstairs and separated, taking stock of the party and who was here. I walked into the “cultured side” and found a tense situation, with Justin there squiring some whorish looking actress, and Cody glaring at him, about two inches from his face.

“A little less testosterone at my party, please,” Stef teased, separating them. Everyone laughed. Everyone except Cody and Justin.

“You’re last year’s leftovers,” Justin sneered to him.

“And you’re just a stupid punk,” Cody said calmly, which really worried me. Cody wasn’t that calm unless he was seriously pissed off. He was about to lay this guy out. Stef was about to intervene when I did instead.

“I’m wondering, Justin, why you think you can come into my house and insult my family?”

He looked at me strangely. “This guy is related to you?”

“He’s part of my family,” I reiterated. “So what makes you think you can get away with being that rude?”

“He’s my date,” the whore said.

“Then you really should be embarrassed,” I told her.

“He’s just pissed at me because I fucked his boyfriend,” Justin said.

“Oh? And when did this happen?” I asked. I felt a presence in the room and knew it was Robbie.

“Couple of weeks ago. I stopped by his office. Ask Evelyn. She heard the door lock,” he said, acting all triumphant.

“I didn’t do shit with you, you little asshole,” Robbie growled, emerging from the crowd around us. “I threw you out of my office.”

“My word against yours then,” Justin said, being all cocky. “You think he could resist me?”

I laughed at him, right in his face. “Hell yeah he could. Anyone could. You’re nothing. A cute face, a nice dick, and no brains. Shit, that’s the recipe for a good escort, nothing more.” The people around us laughed at that, and his face burned red with anger and embarrassment.

“You’re the one who can’t keep your man happy,” he sneered.

I moved closer to him. “Listen punk, I was in the bathroom when you hit on Robbie. I heard him tell you to get the fuck out. I watched your ass get thrown out of the office. So that just shows that your word is worthless.”

“He just didn’t want to try on a real man,” he said, grabbing his dick.

Now I really laughed. “Dude, I’ve got at least two inches on you, and a whole lot more girth. I figure around 2am I’ll be drunk enough to prove that to everyone.” That got a roar of laughter. “But you won’t see it, because you’re leaving.” I nodded to Jeff, who grabbed him by the collar.

“Celeste!” He called to his date.

She looked at me, shrugged, and headed to the bar.

“See what I mean? This place is toxic,” Robbie whispered into my ear.

“I don’t know,” I said, smiling at him. “I think it’s pretty exciting.” He shook his head at me dubiously, but then worked the crowd with me, working on blackballing Justin Blalock from Hollywood, or at least from the part of it that mattered to him.

I went back to my house, glad that the rock band had stopped for a break. They were a bit loud for me. I guess I was getting old. That thought bothered me, and I was about to go out onto the deck and smoke a joint to forget my mortality, when I saw Stef come strolling through the tube. He was looking around, surveying his party, until Will interrupted him.

I watched them talking, then Will dragged him over to the front of the room by the windows. That was really cool, because I could stand to the side and see everything, even if I couldn’t hear what they were saying. They talked, and I saw Stef smiling, saw him gaze lovingly at Will, the same look he’d given me when I was a teenager. And then Will did something that blew my mind. I watched him pull something out of his pocket. He pushed a button and a blade flew out. What the fuck was Will doing with a switchblade? Stef didn’t flinch a bit. He knew Will would never hurt him.

Will handed the knife to Stef, who pricked his pinky finger. Stef handed the knife back to Will, who did the same thing to his pinky. Then they pressed them together. I stood there; tears pouring down my face, watching my son create a bond with Stef just like mine. Will put the knife away and gave Stef a big hug, a long one, then slowly strode off.

I emerged from the shadows and walked up to Stef. “It seems I have another blood brother,” he said, trying to sound calm when he was all choked up.

“It seems you do,” I said. I held up my own finger and he pressed his against mine. “I told him this was more powerful than saying I love you.”

“He asked me to take him to Paris sometime. I must do that. I cannot believe he wants to be this close to me. He does not even like to shop.” I laughed at that, and so did Stef.

Robbie burst into the room and shouted: “It’s almost time!” I looked at the clock. We only had ten minutes. Some people would watch from inside, some from the deck, but we had planks laid on the beach, with red carpet over them. A good bunch of us walked downstairs and braved the cold winds and spray from the surf.

The people on the deck began counting down because they could see the clock, while those of us on the beach echoed them: “Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five (when fireworks started launching), Four, Three, Two, One.” The fireworks exploded just as they should, lighting up the entire waterfront, while everyone loudly yelled “Happy New Year”. I turned to Robbie and gave him a big hug and kiss. “Happy New Year!”

“Happy New Year to you,” he said lovingly. “Welcome to the new millennium.”

“I’m happy to be here because I’m with you.” We gazed at each other for a few moments, but then we were torn away to kiss all the other people there.

Claire and Jack were next, even though Claire was shivering. “I’m so glad we are together tonight,” she said. “You have always been there for me. More than anyone else, you’ve been there.”

“There for us,” Jack interjected. “I think back on all the times I got laid in high school, and I can’t thank you enough.” I laughed at that. I’d stuck with them when Claire had been pregnant, had even gone with them to tell JP and my mother. After the initial shock, when JP was about to ban Jack from sleeping over, I called him on it, accused him of being a sexist. He’d backed off, and Jack spent most nights at our house, at least on the weekends, after that.

I saw my mother gazing off into the waves, and could feel the sadness coming from her. I walked over to her and stood next to her for a moment, then I put my arm around her and she moved in closer, as if to gain warmth and strength from me. “I wish Billy could have been here to see this.”

I tensed up, like I always did when I thought about my dead brother. “So do I.” Then I delved deep into my psyche, even though I didn’t want to. “I never got a chance to tell him I was sorry. He died hating me.”

“Bradley, he did not hate you. He was very angry with you, but he did not hate you. And you did not hate him. Remember how hard you worked to make his funeral as special as it could be? Remember the painting that still hangs in the Great Hall, the one you made for him? Those were not acts of hate, those were acts of love.” I nodded and hugged her, getting absolution for this thing that had bothered me for years.

JP joined the two of us, and put his arm around me on the other side, forming a private trio in our mob of guests. “When I look at those fireworks and clouds of smoke,” he said, “they remind me of the people in our lives, those that we’ve lost.”

“That one is really pretty. It reminds me of Armand,” Mother said. He was her nephew, the man that had first taught me how to be a lover. He was also one of the first men to die of AIDS. “That gold color reminds me of his light brown hair. How handsome he was. How typical that Stefan would pick him up while cruising the Tuileries gardens.” We laughed at that.

A huge firework exploded, one that was both big and loud. “That reminds me of Tonto,” I told them. We laughed some more, remembering what a terrific and indomitable lady she was.

“I only saw her scared once in my life. That was when she thought you had AIDS,” Mother said to JP.

“That’s when I bet her a million dollars I’d outlive her, and she told me I was just taunting her with chump change.” We laughed some more.

“Those elegant fireworks, those remind me of your mother,” she said to JP. “She was such a good role model for me when you first brought me over to the United States. She reminded me of what it was to be a lady.”

A big firework exploded in front of us, and then made ‘crinkling’ sounds as the sparks faded away. “That was like Jeff,” JP said sadly. “So bright and full of potential, only to explode and fizzle out.” There was no laughter when they talked about Jeff, only sadness.

“Sam was kind of the same way,” I said daringly.

“He was,” JP said pensively.

A cute little firework went off all on its own, seemingly out of sequence. “Mouse,” JP and I said at the same time, smiling at each other. “He was so unique and always marched to his own drummer.”

Then a dull masculine boom went off. “That reminds me of Roger. He was so handsome, and such a masculine man,” I said. “I should have slept with him when I had the chance.”

“That’s not funny, Bradley,” JP said severely, making my mother and me giggle.

“So many people that we’ve been lucky to have in our lives,” JP said. “I miss them.” We gazed at the fireworks for a while longer. “I guess we should remember the living around us,” JP said, reminding me of my obligations as a host. I nodded and went off to wish our guests and relatives a Happy New Year.

Maybe it was because we’d left the millennium behind and it was such a significant milestone, or maybe it was because I’d finally gotten my own life in order, but for whatever reason, I felt the strength of the moment, felt it emanating from me. I would use this strength to destroy Omega and Brian once and for all. But I would also use this strength to help my sons, and to make society a better place. Maybe that was what growing up was all about? Maybe it was learning to care not just about your world, but also about the world around you.

Robbie came up to me and put his arm around me. “You happy?”

I smiled at him. “I am. Are you?”

“More than I can say.”

We went inside and hung out with the guests. Around 3am, I dragged Robbie up to the orgy room and fucked him in front of all the guys there. I’m kind of an exhibitionist, so it was hot as hell, especially when I felt hands on my ass and my back, urging me on as I pounded him. I had to almost fight them off after I finished fucking Robbie; they kept trying to grab my dick. I’d set myself up as the target for every size queen in town. The thought of that didn’t excite me at all, it just made me tired.

But they could target me all they wanted. I had my man back, and I was happy. I looked across the room and caught Cody’s eye. He smiled, and then winked at me. Maybe I should say I had my men back.