Millennium - 33. Chapter 33

December 8, 1999

 

I was sitting on the patio with JP, Stef, Wade and Matt, filling them in on my weekend with Robbie. I took the joint from Stef, inhaled, and then passed it on to JP. “I’m worried that I just made the biggest mistake of my life.” JP passed the joint to Wade, who turned it down, as did Matt.

“Finals,” Wade said. “This is just a study break.”

“What a shitty way to spend it,” I said. I winked at them. “You guys can’t think of anything more fun?”

“We’ll take another one soon enough,” Matt said, and leered at Wade. Wade just looked embarrassed.

“I do not think you have made a mistake,” Stef said, bringing us back on topic. “You once told me of your house analogy, where your relationship was like that, a house that fell down a hill and was lying in shambles. I think that Robbie did some initial renovations, and pronounced it as finished. To you, it needs more repair work.”

“I’ll second that,” JP said. “You can’t make that kind of commitment unless you’re ready to.”

“I just feel like a shitty person for telling him I won’t be with just him,” I said. “What a crappy thing to tell your lover.”

“Kind of the same thing he did to you,” Matt said. Of all the people out here besides myself, I felt sorry for him. I knew that he loved Robbie and me both, and I knew it was hard on him to feel like he was in the middle.

“It sounds like the issues are much deeper than what happened in November,” Wade said.

We all looked at him curiously. “How so?” I asked.

“It’s almost like you two have changed and grown, and you didn’t have the ability to adapt to it inside your relationship. Instead, you had to end it, and decide whether to start over.”

“So it is a choice of renovating or tearing it down and starting all over again?” Stef asked, persisting with the house analogy.

I ignored him. “How could we have done that? I felt so good about us, like we were open and communicating. Why couldn’t we adapt?”

“You guys have both been under a lot of pressure lately. That’s when small problems can become big problems,” JP observed.

“That’s probably a lesson for all of us,” Wade said. We all paused to ponder that.

“You are really smart,” I told Wade. “You sound like you’re this old guy, you have so much wisdom.”

“Thanks,” he said shyly. JP beamed with pride. He’d all but adopted Wade as his protégé, and that meant he was both fiercely proud and defensive of him.

I wandered down to my room and called Robbie. It was around 9pm, so I didn’t really expect him to answer. I figured with his new-found freedom, he’d have his dick deep in some twink’s ass right now. Instead, he picked it up right away. “What’s up?” he asked, distracted.

“I’m sorry,” I said nervously. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

I heard him chuckle. “You mean am I in the middle of fucking someone?”

“Well if you were, I wouldn’t want to interrupt,” I told him honestly. It would have been embarrassing for both of us.

“I’m still at the office. We’re working out different proposal guidelines for films. Everything in the past has been done largely by intuition, and after that thing with Carson, we decided that we needed a better system in place: one that would give us more objective criteria.”

“That’s what Stef did with Luke.”

“But he doesn’t rely on it completely.”

“No,” I told him. “We use Luke’s inputs as a tool, along with Stef’s intuition, to make the final decisions on projects.”

“That’s a good approach,” he said. I could almost hear the wheels in his brain turning. “How come we never talked about this stuff before?”

“I just had a conversation about that not too long ago,” I said.

“All those guys will hate me.”

“I’m not poisoning their minds Robbie. They were supportive of both of us. Wade thinks that we’re at the point where we’ve ended our relationship and are starting over. He thinks we’ve changed a lot over the past few years, and didn’t adapt.” There was a pause as he thought about that.

“Makes sense,” he said. “I’ll have to toss that one at David on Friday.”

It bothered me for some reason that he didn’t want me to go with him to see David. I’d given him lots of chances to ask, and he didn’t. I guess he had to figure himself out before he figured us out. “I had a good time last night.”

“Me too,” he said.

“I bet you’re blushing and smiling,” I said, teasing him.

“You’re probably right,” he said. “You, uh, is Kevin there?”

I smiled. When he asked about that, when he gave a shit, I knew that meant he still cared. “Nope. I’m here all alone tonight. It’s finals, and he’s studying hard.”

“Guess these guys don’t know about study breaks,” he said.

“I was just giving Matt and Wade shit about that.”

“So you’re all alone in that big house and everyone there is off limits to you,” he joked.

“Everyone except Wade,” I corrected.

“You’re going to fuck Wade?” he asked me, and couldn’t hide how that bothered him. “I’m sorry, it’s not my place to tell you who you can or can’t be with.”

“I kind of think it is your place. I mean, if there was a guy you were with that really bothered me, and I told you that, I think I’d want you to at least consider not fucking him. I don’t know. Is that unreasonable?”

He didn’t say anything for a minute or so. “I see your point. Neither one of us is out to hurt the other. So are you going to fuck Wade?”

I chuckled at how he got back to what was bothering him. “If he hits on me, I will. Otherwise, I won’t.”

“Won’t Matt be upset?”

“Matt’s the one who told me to fuck him if he asked,” I said, smiling at how freaked out he would be about that.

“What?” he asked, almost shouted. “Matt asked you to fuck his boyfriend? What’s with these guys?” That made me laugh.

“It was when Matt was flirting with me really hard and I turned him down,” I said, stretching the truth a bit. “Matt told me that I was right, that we couldn’t hurt you like that, but he told me that if Wade came on to me, I should go for it, otherwise I could bruise his ego pretty bad.”

“So you and Matt were gonna fuck?” he asked, pissed off.

“No, but there was an attraction there. It needed to be addressed,” I said. “Doesn’t it mean anything that both of us loved you way too much to go there?”

“Yeah, it means a lot. It’s a taboo Brad, and it makes me nervous.”

“You have nothing to worry about,” I said. “I won’t make promises to you I can’t keep. That’s why we’re in this nightmare right now.”

“I don’t think it’s a nightmare. I think it’s really healthy. If you would have told me last night that you wanted to go back to the way things were, like I tried to get you to do in St. Bart’s, I would have turned you down.” I just sat there, stunned, staring at the phone. I started to freak out, and he sensed that. “Brad, don’t do that, don’t get all upset. It’s not about you, it’s about me, and about us. I think we both need to work on who we are individually before we become fully committed partners.”

“So you see that happening?”

“In some form, yeah, I do. I’m not sure if that means we’ll be monogamous or not, and I don’t think you are sure either. Right now, sex isn’t the big thing for me. Right now, the important thing is getting my shit together, and getting my business back on track.”

“I’m glad,” I told him sincerely.

“There was one party that I crossed off your list, and I was thinking that if you’re still free, it would be good to have you with me. It’s that Directors’ Guild bash.”

I smiled. “I’ll have to look pretty for that one.” It was formal attire.

“You always look pretty,” he said, flirting. “But I have to go.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said. I hung up the phone and collapsed onto my bed, bored and restless. I could have started working on the shit for Claremont, but I just wasn’t into it. I’d been to the festival enough times to get a feel for the culture of the town. It seemed to me like this mission that JP had taken on, and that Stef was now absorbed in, was like Don Quixote tilting at windmills. I got up and walked down the hall, figuring I’d take my new car out for a drive. It was one sweet ride. My path took me by Matt’s room, and the door was opened so I glanced in.

There was a guy in there with him, standing up with his back to me. That caught my attention, because he was really cute from that angle. He was short but really muscular. He reminded me a lot of Mr. Lu’s grandson, only I didn’t know if he was Asian. I couldn’t stop myself from staring at his cute ass, which was kind of bubble shaped. I almost licked my lips, but then stopped myself.

Matt spotted me in the doorway. “You going out?”

“I’m not sure, I was thinking about it.” As soon as I spoke, the guy turned around, and I got a really good look at him. He was definitely Asian; with dark brown eyes that were so beautiful they were like pools. “I’m Brad,” I said extending my hand.

“I’m Ky,” he said.

“Ky’s in our Chem class,” Matt said. “Final’s tomorrow. He’s also in the club.”

“The GLBT club?” I asked. Matt nodded, smiling. “How come I didn’t see you at the party?”

“Because you ran off with Sergio right after it started,” Matt joked.

“He can do that to you,” Ky said, and smiled at me. I blushed, and that made Matt chuckle.

“So where are you from?” I asked stupidly.

“San Francisco,” he said, and gave me a look, the look that said just because he was Asian didn’t mean he wasn’t an American.

“I could say that’s what I meant, but I’d be lying,” I said to him gently. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wondered what your heritage is. Mine is mostly Scottish and English.”

“He’s not a Jap,” Matt quipped, trying to be funny.

“That’s a really offensive term,” Ky said, turning on Matt and glaring at him. “No one calls Japanese people that nowadays. It’s like using the ‘N’ word.”

I watched Matt contort internally, so bad that I thought he was going to vomit. “I’m really sorry Ky. I guess I haven’t spent enough time around Asian-American people to know what’s OK and what isn’t. I promise I’ll never use that term again.”

“It’s cool dude. It’s not always easy being an Asian-American, especially when everyone stereotypes you right away. You know, you drive slow, you’re good at math, you’re short and you have a small dick. And shit, I’m Korean anyway, so we don’t even like the Japanese, but we still won’t use that term.”

“We found an old family diary from World War II this summer, and it used that term,” I said, coming to Matt’s defense. “Thanks for reminding us that it’s not appropriate.”

“You know, it must really be hard for you, because you pretty much fit those stereotypes,” Matt teased, trying to build back the rapport with Ky. He hit Ky with his megawatt smile, and melted him. Damn he was charming. “You’re short, you’re good at math, and you drive like shit.”

“Asshole,” Ky said playfully. “I gotta go study. How the fuck do I get out of this place?”

I laughed. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

I led him down the hall. When we got to the end, I turned left, expecting him to follow me, and ran right into him, knocking him down. “Oh shit. I’m sorry,” I said. I held my hand out and he took it. Our eyes met as I pulled him up, and I felt the energy, the sexual energy flow between us. “Are you OK?”

“I can handle a fall like that,” he said, flirting. “Koreans are tough.”

“So Matt said you fit all the stereotypes, but he didn’t mention one of them,” I said.

“You asking me if I have a small dick?” he asked.

“I’m not sure you’d tell me the truth. I think you should show me,” I said, using my sultry voice. “If you’re leaving, you go that way,” I said, pointing to the doors to the patio. “If you’re staying, my room is that way,” I said, pointing to the left.

He gave me a sexy smile and headed left, then looked back to ask me with his eyes to follow him. I led him to my room and closed the door. He stood there nervously, in the middle of the room, so I walked up and dropped to my knees and started undoing his zipper. I slowly pulled it down, letting my fingers graze across his hard dick. He swallowed, making me almost giggle. I undid the button and pulled his pants open, then down, along with his underwear. His dick popped out and up, like a young guy’s sometimes did, but it wasn’t small at all. Probably close to six inches. “This stereotype is busted,” I said, looking up at him while I absorbed his dick in my mouth.

I swallowed him deep, burying my nose in his trimmed black pubic hair, savoring how well he smelled. “I don’t have much time,” he said, letting me know this had to be quick. I really went to work on him then, and in less than two minutes I had him blasting down my throat. “Thanks,” he said shyly, as he pulled his pants up. “You won’t tell anyone about this, will you?”

That confused me. “You don’t want them to know you have a big dick?”

He chuckled. “No, I don’t mess around with guys unless I know them really well. I don’t usually do this. I think I’m the only gay guy who’s damn near a virgin. It’s just not how I am.”

“That makes this really special Ky,” I said. I stood up and pulled him in and gave him a really passionate kiss, holding it until he responded. When I ended it, he just stared at me breathlessly. “If you want, I’d like to do that again when we have more time.”

He blushed. “That would be nice.” Then I led him out to his car.

Matt stopped me on my way back to my room. “So’d you find out if he’s got a needle dick or not?”

“Don’t you have a chemistry exam?” I asked him, being mysterious. He threw a pencil at me and I used that as an excuse to duck out and head back to my room.

 

December 9, 1999

 

I drove through the familiar gates and up the long drive to Escorial. I took in its beautiful Spanish architecture, and marveled that the exterior hadn’t changed at all. It was the same as I remembered as a kid. Inside, the house seemed to remain as it was, with only occasional bouts of redecorating, usually fueled by Stefan, to modify its innards. No, it was only the people that changed. I smiled when I drove toward the garage and saw Kevin’s yellow Boxster there. It was all I could do not to rush down to my room, but running in our house was frowned on, and I didn’t feel like being frowned on.

I opened my bedroom door and walked in, and the sight that greeted me put a big smile on my face. Kevin was there, completely naked, lying on his stomach with his legs spread, giving me a nice view of his hairless taint and hole. He was looking back over his shoulder, grinning at me. “Finals are over. Time to celebrate!”

It was a casual day, so I wasn’t wearing full business dress. That made ripping off my clothes a whole lot easier. I stripped down and then moved up between his legs, nibbling on his thighs as I went. When I got to his ass, I licked and sucked on the back of his balls, then did the same thing, moving up his taint. He let out a soft moan. When my tongue hit his ass, he rewarded me with a really big moan. I lapped at his ass like a dog drinking water, and then I paused and probed him with my tongue, then got back to working on his rim. He had cleaned himself up really well, and he let me just enjoy the way he tasted and smelled, and the way he enjoyed it. I pulled off and held my dick up near his head. For some reason, with him, I really liked him to put the condom on me: He did it in such a sexy way. A glop or two of lube, and then I moved slowly inside of him, letting him get used to me and my big size. After a few careful strokes, he was mine, and he let me fuck him however I wanted to. I took him on a long wild ride, and when he came at the end, I was rewarded by that thing he does after he really blows, the way he shivers like he’s cold.

“You’re amazing,” he told me lovingly. I spooned up behind him, wrapping my body around his. This was his favorite position, and I felt like indulging him.

“You’re the amazing one.”

“When does Robbie get in?” he asked.

“Should be pretty soon,” I said. “Why?”

“I like being with the two of you, but I really like it when it’s just us,” he said.

“I like that too, but let’s not tell him that,” I joked, using humor to hide how good that ego stroke made me feel. But I had to ask, I couldn’t let that just lie there. “Why do you enjoy me more?”

“You’re a more caring lover,” he said. “You really focus on your partner. Not that Robbie doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong.” He sighed. “It’s hard to explain. It’s like if you had a choice where you’d have an awesome fuck and your partner had a shitty one, or the other way around, you’d let your partner have the awesome fuck. Robbie would make sure he enjoyed it even if the other guy didn’t.”

“I think I understand. I wasn’t trying to put you on the spot; I was just trying to understand why you felt that way. Thanks.” I’d yelled at Robbie for being selfish and self-absorbed before, but I always thought that just maybe I was being a little bitchy. Somehow, having Kevin spell it out for me was pretty validating.

We got cleaned up and went to dinner, which was a nice affair. Matt and Wade were stoked to be done with finals, as was Kevin. JP groused about how now he had a bunch of grading to do. About 7:15, Robbie breezed in. I smiled at JP’s irritated look.

Robbie went straight to JP. “I’m really sorry I’m late. There was an accident on 101. I was going to call but my cell phone battery is dead.”

JP wasn’t a hard ass, so he melted pretty easily when someone acknowledged that punctuality was important and apologized. “It’s good to see you. Don’t worry about it.” Robbie headed for me next, smart boy that he was, and gave me a really nice kiss, then his father, then Matt, and then he made his way around the table, finally giving Kevin a nice kiss and a hug.

“You’re dessert?” he teased Kevin.

“If you save room,” Kevin responded flirtatiously. Dinner was fun, even though I felt like I was under a microscope. It was like these people were watching us carefully, trying to figure out if we were OK or not. I was kind of wondering that too.

After dinner, we went out with JP to smoke our nightly joint, but I could sense how desperately Robbie wanted to go back to our room and fuck. He must have gotten really horny now that he’d finally put work on the back burner for the night. I led them back downstairs and we stripped off our clothes. Kevin knew what Robbie wanted, and he got onto his knees, sticking his ass in the air, offering it to both of us. I kissed Robbie while I put the condom on him, and felt Kevin’s mouth on my dick. I moaned into Robbie’s mouth, and that made him break off our kiss and smile at me. I lubed him up and guided him to Kevin’s waiting hole.

I watched him plunge in, and thought about what Kevin said. He didn’t take the time that I did, but then again, he wasn’t as thick as I was. I lubed my own dick and moved in behind Robbie, wrapping my arms around him and lining my dick up with his hole. He slowed to help me out, to help me slide into him. Then Kevin and I just froze, letting Robbie do all the work, letting him control his thrusts and the angle depending on whether he wanted to appreciate Kevin’s ass wrapped around his dick, or my big cock jammed against his prostate.

I enjoyed his body, running my hands up and down his sexy torso. “Oh yeah baby, you like that don’t you,” I said in my slutty voice that he loved. “What’s better, his sweet ass or my big cock?”

“Both are good, so good, so fucking good,” he said. He was kind of detached from us, using our bodies to get off, and we just let him. He paced himself, working at it for a long time, working hard enough to get all sweaty. That just made it sexier, because then I could feel him sliding against me. It was really good, and he felt awesome. When he exploded, he did it with a roar, and I could feel his ass throb around my dick as he did. That sent me over the edge, blowing my nut into his ass. When we were done, he pulled out of Kevin and I pulled out of him, then we rolled Kevin over and I made out with Kevin while Robbie sucked him off. Kevin had a good orgasm, but nothing like we’d had before dinner. It was nice to know that I was a good lover, and that he thought so. And for some strange reason, it was important that he’d rather be with me than with Robbie.

We lay on the bed, the three of us, and snuggled up to Robbie in the position we usually adopted after sex. “So what are you going to do for the holidays?” I asked Kevin. I saw him get nervous. “I’m asking because it would be great if you’d stay with us.”

“My parents don’t really want to see me,” he said with disgust. “They spend their days preaching against homosexuality, so when their faggot son shows up it blows their whole act.”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” I asked. I didn’t really know much about him, and I chided myself for not asking about that earlier especially since he had the same name as my biological father. I hadn’t let that bother me, or even let it register, since it was a pretty common name. Still it was kind of weird.

“Nope, I’m an only child, the big failure for my parents.”

“Dude, you go to Stanford. You’re not a failure,” Robbie said. Somehow when he used the term ‘dude’ it just didn’t work. Maybe it was because of the whole midlife crisis thing, or maybe it only worked for guys over 35 if they were from California or surfers.

“Tell them that,” he said bitterly. “They told me they’d given me a special name, and that God had given me a special mission, and that I’d ruined everything.”

“A special name?” Robbie asked.

“I was named after my uncle. He was my dad’s older brother. He was in the Navy and died when my dad was only 20 years old. He went down in a submarine.”

I stared at Robbie and he wrapped his arm around me tightly. He knew what was coming, and the look that passed between us, along with the physical closeness, was surreal. It was such an intense bonding experience. I’d felt myself sinking, starting to drown, and he’d told me he was there for me. He told me that he’d catch me. “On the Scorpion?” I asked unnecessarily.

“You know about that? Yeah, he wasn’t even part of the crew; he was just on board as an observer. How bad does that suck?”

“Your uncle was my father,” I said softly. “I guess that makes us cousins.”