Millennium - 34. Chapter 34

December 9, 1999

 

“What do you mean my uncle was your father?” Kevin asked. We were both lying on Robbie’s chest, our faces in front of each other. I felt Robbie gently stroking my back to reassure me of his love and support. “I thought JP was your father.”

“My real father is Billy Schluter, my biological father is your uncle, but the guy who raised me is JP. I know it’s pretty confusing. My mother and your uncle had an affair while my father was at sea. My father was killed when the Thresher went down in 1963. My mother lost it after that and ended up killing herself. Right before she did that, she brought me here. JP and Isidore adopted me and raised me as their own son.”

“What about Stef?” he asked.

“Stef’s father is Steven Schluter, my father Billy’s brother. So that makes my father Stef’s uncle, and that makes Stef my cousin. Even though Stef’s my cousin, he’s always been like a second father to me.” I watched Kevin digest all of that.

“I only have one father, and he’s an asshole,” Kevin said. “That must have really been weird growing up. It’s like you didn’t have an identity.”

He’d hit at one of my core insecurities, and I felt Robbie’s hold on me tighten. I looked up at him and smiled to thank him. If he ever thought I didn’t need him, I hoped he remembered this moment, when I felt like I was floundering around alone in the middle of the ocean and he let me know that I wasn’t. “Not really. This is my family. They’ve absorbed me into it. That I wasn’t born into it hasn’t made a bit of difference.”

“How come you didn’t put this together when you heard my name?”

“I guess I figured it was a common enough name,” I said, then sighed. “The truth of the matter is that I just don’t identify with him, with your uncle. I’m a Schluter, and I really had no interest in finding out more about my ‘other’ family.”

“If you did, it might seem like a betrayal to your family here?” he asked.

“I guess that subconsciously that could be part of it, but I know that whatever I did, JP and Stef, along with everyone else, would support me.” I thought about what he said. “I guess that I’m such a big part of this family, that any exploration I did might diminish that somehow.”

“Which is completely illogical and wrong, but somehow it makes sense that you might feel that way,” Robbie said.

Then suddenly Kevin’s eyes lit up, as if a huge riddle had been solved. “Oh my God! You’re the bastard!” he said. I’d always been really sensitive to that word, and only really could stomach it when I said it, so when Kevin called me that, it hit me hard. He saw the reaction. “I’m sorry, I’m not calling you that, or at least I don’t mean to. My aunt’s been talking about you since I can remember.”

“Who’s your aunt?” I asked.

“Her name’s Alexandra Carmichael, but I call her Aunt Alex.” He said that with a smile to try and cheer me up, but it didn’t work. “She was married to my uncle, er, your father. Dude, you know those TV soap operas that were on at night, way back?”

“Dynasty or Dallas?” Robbie asked.

“Yeah, those ones,” Kevin said. “Only I’m thinking of the one about the winery.”

“Falcon Crest,” I said.

“That’s the one!” Kevin exclaimed.

“Way back,” Robbie grumbled. “Right.” I almost giggled at how Kevin had reminded him of his age, right when he was dealing with this mid-life thing. Those shows had been popular when we were younger.

Kevin just rolled his eyes at Robbie’s age issues. “Whatever. My aunt makes Jane Wyman, I forget who she played, but she makes Jane Wyman’s character look like Mother Teresa. She’s a class-A bitch, and a tough businesswoman.”

“What does she do?” I asked curiously. I’d never run into her in the business world, but that didn’t really mean much.

“She runs a big electronics company. They do mostly defense-oriented stuff. You’ve probably heard of them: Omega.” I just stared at him. “Are you alright Brad?”

“These past months, Omega has been behind a whole bunch of schemes designed to ruin my life,” I said, pissed off. “Until now, I didn’t know who was behind it and why. Now I do.”

“I’m not surprised. Like I said, she always called you “the bastard” and knew you were out there, she just never knew who you were. It was like this weird obsession with her. It was like you were the one sign of her shitty marriage, so she was going to find out who you were and weed you out.”

“Weed me out? Like in have me killed?” What the fuck was wrong with this woman? I’d never done anything to her.

“Dude, you don’t get it. The woman is a total bitch. For her, it’s about revenge, about making you pay and torturing you for what your father did. If I were going to play the shrink, I’d think she sees in you everything that was wrong with him.”

“Come on. Get dressed,” I told him.

“You’re throwing me out? I didn’t have anything to do with this,” he objected, really upset.

“No, dumbass, we have to go talk to Stefan.”

“He’s probably asleep by now,” Robbie observed.

“Well then we’ll just wake his ass up,” I said, being a smart ass. “I don’t want you to be nervous,” I told Kevin. “You just solved a big mystery for me, for us.” Robbie looked at me curiously, because he recognized the adrenaline rush. He knew the tough part would come later, when I had to try and grapple with all of this.

I dragged Kevin and Robbie down to JP’s room and knocked on the door. When I got no answer, I knocked more loudly. “What is it?” I heard JP grouse. I opened the door and led my reluctant trio into the room. “Well this is quite a delegation,” JP said.

“Bradley, it is much too late for a group orgy,” Stef said as he woke up. He was even witty when he was half asleep.

“Kevin knows who’s behind Omega,” I told them. It was hilarious to see how both JP and Stef were fully awake in a flash.

“Indeed?” Stef said.

“It’s my Aunt Alex,” Kevin said nervously. “Alexandra Carmichael.”

JP and Stef looked at us curiously, so I answered the question for them. “I think she is the equivalent of my wicked stepmother. She was married to my biological father.”

“And you were named after him?” JP asked Kevin.

“We’re cousins,” I said. “And irony of ironies, that makes the Reverend Carmichael my uncle.”

“You have an interesting family tree,” JP observed dourly. “Why would your aunt want to hurt Brad?”

“She’s always referred to him as ‘the bastard’. He was the focus of all her anger and all her hate. She didn’t know who he was. She must have found out somehow,” Kevin said.

I felt those two familiar arms wrap around me from behind as Robbie told me physically that he was there for me. “So all these years she’s been plotting to destroy me, only she didn’t know who I was. I wonder how she found out.”

JP shrugged. “I wonder if you have any half-siblings.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Hey Kevin, do I have any brothers or sisters?”

Kevin chuckled. “Well, as a matter of fact you have two half-brothers. One is almost 40. That would be Mike. He went into the Navy like his father. I think he’s a captain or something like that now. He’s got a wife and a family, and seems like a decent enough guy. Very military. It’s kind of hot.”

“So one is a sailor,” I said, mentally digesting that. “What’s the other one do?”

“He’s a clone of his mother. That’s David. He’s about two or three years younger than Mike. He works for my aunt, follows her around like a puppy. Only they get into fights every once in a while, and she has to smack him down.”

“Is David married?” I asked, suddenly curious about these unknown half-brothers who were floating around out there. I’d never really given a shit about that before.

“No, he’s gay, ironically enough. That’s one of the reasons that I don’t see them much anymore.”

“You don’t like him because he’s gay?” Robbie asked.

“Yeah, he’s a bottom, and I have no use for him,” Kevin said. I could tell he was teasing, but Robbie didn’t get that until Kevin laughed. I noticed that in this very stressful situation, Kevin’s defense mechanism was to use humor to diffuse it. “My father was a bit outspoken about David’s ‘lifestyle’ at a family function when I was about ten or eleven and pissed them all off. Since then, I hear about them, but it’s usually through Christmas cards or shit like that.”

“When was the last time you saw them?” Stef asked.

“It’s been a couple of years.” He thought about it. “They all came to my high school graduation.”

“Where do they live?” Robbie asked.

“They have a monster house in Connecticut. My aunt comes from a really wealthy family, and it was her parents’ house. They left it to her, along with Omega. It’s not too far outside of New York City.”

“Does David live with her?” I asked.

“Yeah. I hear they usually have lots of conflicts, especially when he finds a new boyfriend. Mike doesn’t live there; he and his family live near wherever he’s based. I think he’s in San Diego right now.”

“What should I do about this?” I asked of no one in particular.

“Let’s digest this, and then see if we can think of a way to handle it in the morning,” JP said, then yawned. I got the message that he was tired.

“Alright, let’s go,” I said to my trio.

“I think I’ll stay here,” Kevin said, leering at Stef and JP. I shook my head and led Robbie off. I wasn’t sure if Kevin would actually sleep with them or not, but I knew what he was doing. He was giving me some time to think about this, and giving me some time alone with Robbie.

We didn’t say anything as we walked back to my room; we just silently took off all of our clothes again and got back into bed. He pulled me to him, really tight, wrapping his arms around me. “I really need you right now,” I said.

“I know. I’m here,” he said simply.

“This is all my fault. All of this shit that’s happened, everything. Carson and your shitty movies, our problems, it was all because of me.” I hated crying, I really did, but there was no way I could stop now.

“I wonder if this means you’ll stop giving me guilt trips?” he asked. I looked up at him, about to get pissed, until I saw his playful smile.

But I wasn’t in the mood to play this off. I was seriously fucked up. “I’m so sorry. All that shit I threw at you, and it wasn’t even you. They were playing you to get to me.”

“You knew that before,” he said.

“Yeah, but before, when it was Dan, at least I felt that you were partly involved. It was part of our whole idiotic senior year break-up.” I sighed. “This isn’t about you at all. It’s about me, and my fucked up heritage.”

I felt him struggling, like he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if he should. In the end, he went for it. “I don’t think this was all your fault. I’m not talking about the business shit, I’m talking about us. We wouldn’t be where we are, and this wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t have issues already.”

“That almost makes it worse, since I didn’t even know we had issues in the first place.”

“Yeah, I didn’t either, but they were there, and they would have come out eventually, especially when my hair got even thinner,” he said, joking.

“For the record,” I said as I smiled at him, “I don’t give a shit if your hair thins out or not.” I got a nice smile back for that.

“You know, if none of this wouldn’t have happened, you’d have never fucked Kevin, and you still wouldn’t know who was behind Omega,” he said.

“I guess I ended up with a new cousin out of this deal,” I said. “A first cousin.”

“Yeah, but he’s only half of a first cousin, so that means he’s still fuckable.”

“You know, we’re going into a pretty intense social season here,” I said. “I know you’re enjoying your space, and getting things back on track with the company, but I may need to cling to you a little more in the next few days or so. Is that OK?”

“Brad, if we’d broken up, even if it was a nasty break up, and you needed me, I’d still be there for you,” he said. And then I got it, I got what I was looking for. This is the guy I fell in love with, the guy that was so caring and loving. Not the hot shot executive, not the guy that could charter jets and whisk me away, this guy. This person.

“I’m not sure if you know how much that means to me,” I told him. “Are you going back to LA tomorrow morning?”

“How about if I go see David, then come back here and pick you up. That gives you a chance to strategize with Stefan and JP.”

“I’d like your input too,” I said, and that got me a grin.

“We’ll have time,” he said gently.

“What about Kevin?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s done with finals, he’s finished up. I ask him to spend the holidays with us, and then I go and desert him?”

He thought about that. “Bring him along. We’ll take him to the parties with us. He’ll have a blast.” We lay there, and it took me a while to realize that I had him in a death grip. “So this is going to kind of change things for you.”

“How so?” I asked.

“You had your world all in order. You’re a Schluter, and a Crampton, and that’s your heritage. This other part of you was stuffed in the corner. Now it’s out, front and center.”

“I don’t want things to change for me. I just want to go on and live my life like I never found out about these fucking people.”

“You don’t have a choice now, baby,” he said. “You have to deal with it. And there’s someone else you need to talk to about this too.”

“Who?”

“Will,” he said. “I know he knows about your biological father, and he took it really well. But having these new people popping out of the woodwork, you probably need to prep him for that.”

“You think he’s old enough to give a shit?”

He laughed. “He’s your clone. When you were 13, were you old enough?”

Will wasn’t my clone. There were very distinctive differences between us. He was more impulsive than I was, but he wasn’t as hotheaded. On the other hand, when he did get mad, he had a really bad temper. At the same time, he had a very strong moral compass, a sense of right and wrong. I was able to see nuances in situations, while he saw things as being more black and white. To anyone else, even to Robbie, it probably looked like we were identical, so I let it go. “I’ll have to think about how to do that.”

“I’m sure you’ll do a great job,” he said.

“What do you think I should do about this mess?” His smile made me glad I asked. I had to remember to solicit his opinion. I was so used to everyone else like Stef and JP just chiming in.

“It sounds like these people are really fucked up. I wonder if they met you if they’d feel this way about you? It’s really easy to hate an imaginary person. Sometimes if you put a name and a face to the evil entity, it doesn’t seem so evil anymore.”

That made a lot of sense. “I wonder what the best way to do that is?”

“Kevin said that Alex and David are fucked up, but Mike sounds like he’s pretty stable. Maybe you should start there? He lives in San Diego unless he’s at sea. At least it’s close.”

“That’s a really good idea,” I agreed. “You’re not as stupid as you look.” He tickled me for saying that, which was dumb, because he was way more ticklish than I was. We wrestled around in bed like we were 18 again, until we were both hard as a rock. Then he made love to me, but in a really romantic and loving way. The whole time he pistoned in and out of me, he kept his eyes locked on mine; breaking the lock only to lean in and tell me that he loved me. After we came, he slipped out of me and I pulled him down onto my body and wrapped my arms and legs around him.

“That was really really nice,” I said.

“It was,” he agreed. He was tired now, and I knew he wanted to sleep. I ran my fingers through his thinning hair and thought about how much I loved him. Somehow, having him here for me had done wonders to overcome the lack of trust and confidence I felt in him. I’d felt deserted and abandoned before, but he’d shown me that he wasn’t doing that at all. He showed me that he’d be there for me. He said that he didn’t feel that I needed him. I did, and I’d just shown him that. I drifted off to sleep, my confusion over all this masked by how close I felt to Robbie.

December 10, 1999

“I have to go,” Robbie said, as he leaned down to give me a kiss. It was really fucking early. “Traffic is a bitch.” I pulled him into a deeper kiss and felt him respond, and then break it off. “I have to go. I don’t want to be late.”

“I’m wondering if five minutes would make that much of a difference,” I said with a leer as I ran my hand up his leg to his crotch.

“I have to go, dammit!” he said, but he didn’t move.

I reached for his zipper. “I need breakfast,” I said in my slutty tone. I knew that would do it and it did. He pulled out his dick for me and I blew him, going fast but still making it as good as I could.

“You happy now?” he asked, smiling, as he zipped his pants up.

“Yep. Are you?”

“Yeah,” he said, and grinned at me. “See you in a while.” I got up and took a shower, got myself all ready, and headed to the kitchen for my second meal of the day.

“So you are up,” Stef observed unnecessarily.

“I am. Where’s Kevin?”

“He is lounging in bed with JP. They are like two slugs,” he said, smiling.

“I left you with one of the hottest guys around, and you got out of bed this early? You’re losing your touch,” I teased.

“He did not stay with us for sex; he stayed with us to feel loved and comforted. Last night was traumatic for him, but not as traumatic as it was for you.” I nodded.

“Thanks for helping him out. I was too busy worrying about myself.”

“It is a good thing you had Robbie here with you. Otherwise, this would have been much tougher.”

That surprised me, hearing Stef suddenly singing Robbie’s praises. “I wasn’t so sure he’d rise to the occasion, but he did. He was amazing, Stef. Now I feel bad for doubting him.”

“You two are getting used to each other all over again, but last night he showed you that he loves you. It is nice, even though you already knew that.”

“I did,” I told him sadly. “I’m just not totally sure I can trust him like I did, that I can make that kind of commitment to him. But having him there for me like that, it helped a lot.”

“If you cannot, you cannot. Then only time will tell how things work out. In the meanwhile, you have his support when you need it most, and that must count for something in your book.”

“It does. I’m just really confused right now. It’s like my world is reshaping around me and I don’t know if I can adapt this fast. I have to deal with this shit with my wicked stepmother, I have to deal with the fact that we’re changing our whole business model, and I have to deal with my floundering relationship, while at the same time relying on the same guy for stability.”

“Let us put things in perspective. Do not worry about the business model. We have made amazing amounts of money over the past ten years. Do either one of us desperately need more? Is there anything wrong with playing it safe when the indicators start to look scary?”

“No, but it’s hard to focus on something else, when I’ve been so committed to what we’ve been doing. And I worry that we’ll lose our staff. We have great employees, but how long will they be with us if we’re not generating bonuses and other companies are?”

“We will have to make it worth their while, and that means paying them money even when we have not made as much. Again, we will survive. I think in a year you will be glad we got off this train when we did.” Stef seemed so confident in that, it was hard to question him. “I am more worried about how you will handle the Carmichaels.”

I dodged his question. “I was going to ask Kevin to come down to LA with us before Christmas. I figured we could drag him to parties and he’d like that. Plus he’s fun to have around.”

Stef seemed to ponder that. “I am coming down next week. I will bring him with me then. That way you have this weekend to start grappling with things. But that is not who I was referring to.”

“It’s weird Stef. I’ve pretty much blocked out that part of my heritage, acting like it didn’t really exist. I think I’ve internalized being a Schluter so much that when this happens, it makes me feel like a fraud.”

“Bradley, you have been as much a member of this family as anyone. It is only you who questions that.”

“I know Stef, but feelings aren’t always logical.”

“So how will you handle these people?”

“Robbie thinks I should meet with the navy man, with Mike. He said that maybe if they see I’m not a horrible person, the stigma will fail.”

“I think meeting with Mike is not a bad idea, but I am almost sure it will not work with the others.”

“Why do you say that? I’m nice. I’m charming.” I was trying to lighten the mood, but it didn’t work. Stef was focused.

“I am wondering how they found out who you were. It seems that whoever told them that would also be fueling their feelings of antipathy toward you.”

I thought about that. Having someone else there to really fire them up would create some really motivated, hateful people. “I don’t know Stef, but all of these mysteries are getting really old. I wonder if Go Chang is enough to take down Omega.”

“It is a big company, so that is unlikely. If all the deals went bad, that may be another story. Perhaps we should swim in their lake and cause some trouble.”

“How would we do that?” I asked.

“They are busy playing personal games with their corporation. Surely they have competitors. Maybe those competitors just need a little encouragement.”

“Interesting,” I said. That made sense. We were businessmen, after all. Why not bring the field of battle back into that arena, where it belongs? “By the way, Jeanine finally found a woman. You know her. Tiffany, JJ’s skating coach.”

“She is very attractive.”

I chuckled. “I’m moving over to your old house to give them the master bedroom. You don’t mind if I move your stuff into one of the other bedrooms do you?”

“You are not worried that I will come in there by mistake?” he teased. “I gave you the house, it is yours. You should be comfortable. It was very thoughtful of you to think of me, but any of the other rooms will be just fine when I visit.”

“You can always sleep with Cody. You heard that Max and he broke up?”

Stef stared at me, stunned. “I did not know that. What happened? I just talked to Cody a few days ago and he said nothing.”

“Max started dating Father Tim. I’m kind of worried about Cody though. If he didn’t tell you, that means this must bother him a lot more than I thought it did.”

“He would never admit that it bothered him anyway,” Stef said. “It is a good thing I am coming to visit. I want to work on this millennial party we are having.” No one threw parties like Stef did, and he was renowned in Hollywood for his bashes. He’d been out of that circle for a while now, pretty much since Greg died, so his return to Malibu to throw a New Year’s bash was big news. Even though Robbie and I were nominally hosting it, everyone knew it was Stef’s deal.

Just then Kevin came breezing in. “Hey cuz,” he said, and gave me a most un-cousinly kiss.

“Hey there,” I said, smiling at him. “Stef’s planning to drag you down to Malibu next week. There are lots of parties this time of year. You’ll like them because you’re hot.”

He laughed. “That sounds like fun.” Then he got serious. “Are you OK? All this is quite a bunch of crap to throw on you.”

I thought about Robbie and how he’d just wrapped himself around me like a shield. “I will be.”