Millennium - 28. Chapter 28

December 3, 1999

“I’m exhausted,” I told Robbie as we walked into the suite. It had been a really long evening. After all the controversy at the gala, those of us who had walked out congregated in the pre-event area, and then we’d adjourned, the players anyway, to Stef’s room for drinks. There was lots of talk, lots of posturing, and lots of people promising to get involved. In the end, it was decided that no one would remain part of the association unless Bainbridge and a few of his cronies on the Board were replaced, Amphion’s award was revoked, Cary’s individual award was revoked, and all of them were banned from membership in the association.

We’d known, all of us, that such resolve fades in the morning, so I’d gone and gotten my laptop and my printer and we’d drafted a letter together. Having 50 authors was not easy, but in the end, we’d gotten it done, everyone signed it, and we found someone to make copies.

I’d found myself tasked with sending it off, so I’d done that, via FED EX, to each Board member and to Roger Elsie. Since Roger was still here, I decided to be a nice guy and give him a head’s-up on it. I’d called him and gone down to his room, handed him the letter and explained it, then listened to a long diatribe about how he wasn’t responsible. I had patiently explained that his resignation wasn’t included in the conditions laid out in the letter, showed him the four points, and exhorted him to remain calm, all to no avail. I finally managed to talk him down from the wall.

But of course, that wasn’t the end of it. I had to go back up to Stef’s suite and report back to everyone, and hear them make the same arguments to me that I’d just made to Roger. The whole thing was an exercise in everyone jumping on the bandwagon, saying the same thing over and over again, with a few annoying comments from people implying that they could have been more persuasive at calming Roger down than I had been. And now, finally, I’d been able to escape from all of them. I shut the door to our suite behind me and felt the tranquility of being alone with Robbie wash over me like a fresh breeze.

“Duh,” Robbie said. “You act like this is just a meeting that’s over, but it’s much more than that. You’ve uncovered and foiled a plan to ruin your life, my life, and led a revolution, all within a month. That’s pretty fucking impressive.”

“Thanks,” I said to him. “So we’re free now.” I had this beautiful suite on the top floor of the Pan Pacific, something most people would give their left testicle for; yet all I could think of was getting out of there. It was so stressful, the whole thing was stressful, and this place had some pretty unpleasant memories: memories of me fucking Dan.

“Let’s get out of here,” Robbie said, sensing my mood. I smiled to thank him.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“I’ll figure something out,” he said. “Pack up your shit and let’s go.”

“I need to say goodbye to Stef, Luke, and JP,” I said.

“You pack up and I’ll go tell them we’re leaving.” I made to argue but he stopped me. “If you go back over there, you’ll get sucked back into that vortex and start talking to all those people again.”

“Good point,” I said, and gave him a knowing grin. He seemed to appreciate the fact that he’d won that battle. I got my stuff together pretty quickly, since I was an organized person, so it was almost together anyway. Besides, it’s a lot easier to pack to go home, where all you have to do is remember to bring all the shit you brought. I was finished packing in fifteen minutes, about five minutes before he was back from Stef’s suite.

“Alright,” he said, bursting in. “Let’s get the fuck out of here before someone else wants to talk to us.” He was being pretty playful, leading me out to the elevator as if we were sneaking out. He carried my bag for me, which was sweet, even though it was on rollers. We were in the elevator when I remembered I didn’t have a car.

“Rafael brought me up here. I’m riding with you, right?” I asked.

“Yep,” he said.

“You have room for this shit?” I asked skeptically.

“There’s room in the Ferrari,” he said.

“No there’s not,” I argued.

“Yes, there is,” he insisted.

“I’ve had that car for almost 20 years now. I know what you can and can’t fit into it. This shit won’t fit.” He was irritating me. I had this down.

He handed the valet the parking ticket and gave me a dirty look. “I say it will fit. What do you want to bet?”

“Name it,” I said with confidence.

“Alright, if it fits, for this whole weekend you do whatever I want, you don’t bitch about it, and you don’t question me. If it doesn’t, you get to be in charge.”

“Big deal. That’s nothing new for me,” I said. “I’m always in charge anyway.” He almost got pissed until he saw my smile. I would have done that anyway, let him take over. I knew I needed to work on that, on not seizing complete and total control over everything we did.

“Is it a deal?”

“It’s a deal,” I agreed, and we shook on it. I was trying to figure out how I’d get around this, how I’d let him still keep his balls for the weekend, when the attendant drove up and handed Robbie the keys. Only it wasn’t my Ferrari, it was a new one, just like the one he had in LA, only yellow. Of course, all the luggage fit just fine.

“You drive,” he said.

“I’m tired,” I started to whine, but he looked at me firmly, reminding me that he was in charge. “Fine. Lazy Ass.”

“You seem to have forgotten the rule about no bitching,” he teased.

“Yeah, but this was a deceptive sell. You knew I was talking about my old car.”

“Guess you should have done a little more due diligence before you closed the deal,” he said, pretending to be a smart ass. “Now you and Cary Chase have something to commiserate about.” That was funny enough to crack me up.

It was late now, after 10pm, and there was very little traffic. I wound the Ferrari out and flew down 101. It was awesome! “Now I see why you got one. This is one bad-ass car.”

“Yep,” he said with a grin.

“Just couldn’t wait to get yours back, eh?” I teased. “Your mid-life crisis so bad that you had to have one now?”

“Smart ass,” he said. “This one isn’t for my mid-life crisis, it’s for yours.”

“What?”

“It’s for you,” he said.

I slowed down so I could stare at him. “You bought this for me?”

“Yeah. You drive your old one when you’re up here, and it’s nice and all, but you deserve something better. This is better.”

“Yes it is.” This must be how Kevin felt when I’d given him the Porsche. It was a pleasantly stunning kind of feeling. “That was really nice of you. I’m worried you’ll go broke spending all this money on me.”

“I don’t care about the money, I care about you.”

I reached over and held his hand until I had to shift again. “I’m tired, but I bet you still get laid.” He chuckled. When we got to Palo Alto he told me to get off an exit early.

“This isn’t the way home,” I objected.

“Let’s review. Do what I say, no bitching.” After a few more turns I caught on that we were going to the airport. We pulled up and there was Stef’s plane, ready and waiting for us.

“So where are we going?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise,” he said.

“I hope I like it since I can’t bitch,” I joked. We climbed into the plane and I saw they’d turned down the bed, just like they did at the hotel. I collapsed into a chair, not Stef’s chair, the other one. I let Robbie have Stef’s chair to show that he was in charge.

“You guys ready?” Keith asked, and leered at me a bit.

“Let’s go,” Robbie said. The plane started to taxi, and we were airborne in no time at all. “Come on.”

“What?” He raised his eyebrow and I rolled my eyes and followed him to the back.

“Strip.” I smiled at that, and then did as he said. He took off his clothes too, and folded all of our stuff up neatly and set it on the seat. I noticed there was another stack next to it, a stack of casual clothes.

“You packed for me?”

“I did,” he said, proud that he’d remembered everything. Then he got into the bed, looked at me, and tweaked his nipple in a sexy but funny way. “Come here baby.” I lay down with him, in my favorite spot, sprawled across him with my head on his chest.

“Thanks for everything,” I said. “You’ve been so amazing. Have I told you today that I love you?”

“You have, but I love to hear it. I love you too,” he affirmed. Then I drifted off to sleep.

“You have to wake up,” I heard Robbie say as he jostled me. I was so comfortable, and so tired, I just didn’t want to move. I tried to go back to sleep but he was having none of it. “Come on Brad. You can’t go through customs naked.”

I woke up and grinned at him. “I’d have a lot to declare.” He laughed and shook his head. “Where the fuck are we anyway?”

“Before I tell you, let’s review. No bitching and I’m in charge.”

“Fine,” I growled.

“We’re in St. Barts. Stef was here with Lou and said it was awesome. I rented a villa for us.”

I felt the landing gear go down, and that jerked me out of my stupor. We jumped up and put on our clothes, transferred all of our stuff, like wallets, to our new casual outfits, and got ready to face the authorities. Robbie handed me a small bag, along with my passport. I went to grab my briefcase but he took it firmly out of my hand.

“No.” I started to object but he stopped me with a single finger over my lips. “No work.”

“Can I take my cell phone?” I asked.

“You get it twice a day for thirty minutes,” he said. I thought he was kidding until I saw the look on his face. “Don’t even think about arguing. You made a deal.”

“Fuck.” I grudgingly handed him my phone. Customs and immigration was a breeze, then we rented a car so we’d be able to get around the island on our own. We headed to the villa but it was dark, so of course, we got lost, but somehow that just made it more fun. We finally found the place, and there was a young woman waiting for us, trying to hide her irritation at being kept waiting. She gave us a tour of the villa, which was small but beautiful, and then left us alone.

I held out my hand. “What?” he asked.

“You may be in charge, but you have to be fair. Hand it over,” I said, pointing at his cell phone.

“Alright,” he said playfully. “I’ll give you this one victory.” I laughed, really laughed, and then he dragged me off to bed. I was really tired still, and totally drained.

“Can I ask you a favor?” I asked as I draped my body over his.

“Sure.”

“Can I suck your dick?” I was using my slutty voice, and I felt him harden underneath me. “I love the way you taste. I love the way you moan when I blow you.”

“Yeah,” he said, and just leaned back and let me have complete freedom to suck him. I knew just what to do, when to move off his head and focus on his balls and his ass, when to stick my finger up his hole to hypercharge his orgasm. When he came, he flooded me, and that made me smile.

December 4, 1999

It seemed like I’d just fallen asleep when I was awakened by a really pleasant sensation. I was flat on my back, and I opened my eyes just as Robbie lowered his ass onto my cock. “Good morning,” he said, grinning.

“It sure is,” I said.

“Ahh,” he moaned, as my cock filled him up. He began to undulate up and down, grinding my dick against his spot, squeezing and releasing the muscles in his ass to maximize my pleasure. “Oh yeah baby, this is what I want. This is all I need. When you’re inside me, I feel complete. I never feel this good; never feel fulfilled, unless we’re linked like this.”

“You like spearing yourself on my big dick?” I asked in my sluttiest voice. He loved it when I talked to him like that. “You keep on doing that, you’re gonna have my cum dripping out of you all day long.”

He moaned and grabbed my arms, pinning them behind me, and let his mouth go. He talked to me, he kissed me, he nibbled on me, and he sucked on my neck. “I gotta cum baby. You feel too good. You feel too good. You’re gonna do it. You’re gonna send me over the edge!” he said. It was so sexy, the way his voice went up an octave and got louder with each sentence. Then he leaned back, and using just my dick in his ass, his throbbing cock exploded, blasting his load all over me. His hands were on the bed behind him as he worked himself, denying himself any direct dick stimulation, and blasted away.

As soon as he was done, I came, but he didn’t miss a beat. He worked me and worked me, panting and smiling as I screamed and yelled. When we were done, he sat there on my lap, my dick still buried in his ass, just grinning and panting.

“God, you’re sexy,” I said, making his grin bigger.

“I’m a faded flower compared to you,” he said, trying to sound poetic but instead just sounding goofy. That just made me love him more. “Shower time!”

“Alright, Mr. Energy Dynamo,” I said. I got up and followed him into the shower, and when we got out, the first thing I noticed was the smell of bacon. “You had breakfast catered?”

“Yep,” he said. He was so proud of himself for planning this out. He must have set an alarm or something to make sure he fucked me awake at just the right time. There was a really nice lady who made us a basic bacon/eggs/pancakes breakfast, then left us alone to enjoy our meal.

We sat on the veranda, eating breakfast, with the nice Caribbean breeze flowing over us. Suddenly Amphion and Dan Church seemed like they’d been in my life years ago, not just yesterday. I smiled and relaxed as all the tension began to leave my body.

“You look relaxed,” he said.

“I am. This was a really sweet thing for you to do.”

“You told me I had to fight to win you back. How am I doing so far?”

“Well,” I said cavalierly, “you’re off to a pretty good start.”

“Pretty good?” I laughed.

“I want to say something, and it may not come out right, so let me get it all out so you can hear it,” I told him.

“Go on,” he said nervously.

“I really appreciate all this, the new car, the diamond cufflinks, the trip to the tropics. That’s really sweet. But that’s not what I really wanted. I wanted you to show me that you still cared about me, and that you still love me.”

He interrupted. “What am I doing wrong? What haven’t I done to show you that?”

I held my hand up and smiled. “I think you were supposed to let me finish?”

“Oh yeah,” he said sheepishly, and gave me that fucking grin that turned me into mush.

“What’s really special about this stuff is not what you spent; it’s that you thought about me and what I needed, and went out of your way to satisfy me. That’s what I wanted, and that’s what you’ve done the past few days.” I got up and went over and sat on his lap.

“You’re gonna end up with a dick in your ass if you stay there,” he teased. I smacked him playfully.

“You spent a million dollars on diamonds for me, but what was really special was the way you knew I’d have to make a splash that night, and you figured out a way to help me do it. You spent a shitload on a new Ferrari for me, because you knew it would make me smile, and take my mind off those fucking meetings. And you whisked me away from the Bay Area because you knew I was exhausted and emotionally drained, and you wanted to give me a chance to recharge. If I didn’t know better, I might think you loved me.”

“You’re a smart guy,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said, looking at him to make sure he could see how much this all meant to me.

“I sat down and thought about what I have and what I need. I discovered that I’m pretty fucking rich, but I’d lost at least part of the man I love, the man who makes my life worth living. It’s not too tough to make that connection, to know what to do.”

“Yeah, but what I was trying to say is that you could have saved a shitload of money and just done the things to show me.” He pulled me in for a kiss. “But I’m glad you didn’t. Those cufflinks are the bomb, and that car is bad.”

“Bad? What’s wrong with it?” he asked me, and we started laughing and smiling, remembering our first time alone. It had been in 1980 at the Claremont Festival, and I was making him take me up to my grandparents’ house in his Cadillac Eldorado. It was a cool car, and I’d told him it was bad, and he’d got all offended until I explained that ‘bad’ was just California slang for ‘good’.

“So what’s on our agenda for the day?” I asked. He raised his eyebrows. “I know you’re in charge, but I just want to know what I have to look forward to.”

He looked at his watch meaningfully, and the doorbell rang. I laughed at his precision. Two hot guys walked in with tables and set them up on the veranda. They stripped down to just g-strings, and we stripped down to nothing, then they gave us massages as we lay there, side-by-side, holding hands. It was so romantic, so corny, and really nice. But I knew what he wanted, and I wasn’t ready to give it to him. Not yet.

Gouvernor’s Beach, the place Stef had enjoyed, had a clothing optional section, and that’s where we went. It was just a short hike down the cliff from where our villa was located. We lay on the beach and watched the other naked people around us; critiquing the other guys we saw, and some of the women, having an absolute blast. There was a young guy that kept staring at us, and then kept turning over as he got an erection. It was really cute.

“You ready to go back up?” Robbie asked.

“You’re in charge,” I told him. “You’ve done such a good job; I’m totally cool with you having control.”

“Thanks,” he said. “Yesterday and today have been magical.”

“We haven’t even gotten to tonight yet,” I said with a leer. He cracked up. We got up and put on our shorts, then hiked up the cliff to our villa. We shucked the shorts again and climbed into the pool, relaxing in the warm water and enjoying the wonderful weather and the great views of the Caribbean.

We’d spent the whole time just enjoying each other, ignoring the proverbial elephant in the room: the fate of us. I knew he wanted to push, but he was afraid too. As in charge as he was, I knew that I’d have to be the one to broach this topic.

“You want to step into some time machine and go back to last month and make all of this go away, don’t you?” I asked him.

“Is that such a bad thing?” he asked me, but his tone was sweet, not bitchy. “Is it so wrong to want to make things right between us? Is it so wrong for me to realize that I fucked up and to want to fix it?”

“No, none of that is wrong. It’s good, it’s all good. It’s just that you’re moving at the speed of light. I love you. There’s no question about that. There never really has been. But you want me to turn on a dime and just go on as if nothing ever happened. It’s as if I broke my leg, and you think it will be healed the next day. It takes time to do that. I need that time, and I’m not sure how to explain that to you so you won’t feel like you’re losing me.”

“You want to still fuck other men,” he said sullenly.

“You make it sound like I’m a slut and I want to do half the fucking world. There are a few guys who are important to me, and I don’t want to just drop them like rocks. There are a few guys who have been there for me, and who I’m still relying on for support. I care about those guys, and I’m not willing to just write them off.”

“So why can’t you be friends with them? Why do you have to fuck them?” he demanded.

“That’s where I’m going,” I told him. “But they’re helping me deal with my self-esteem issues, and they’re helping me feel better about myself. I want to be a whole person when we become full partners again. I don’t want to be one step away from a basket case like I am now.”

“I can do that for you. I can be that guy. I can fulfill all your needs,” he said. “I did it before, and I can do it again.”

“Yeah, you did, but we had some problems that led us to this nightmare we’re trying to end.” I saw him start to get pissed off. “Robbie, I said we had problems. It’s not all your fault.”

“Really? You mean you’re not perfect?”

“Well, I’m pretty damn close,” I said, bullshitting. “This trip has been wonderful, absolutely wonderful. I don’t want to go back tomorrow,” I said.

“I don’t remember saying we were going back tomorrow,” he said.

“I need to be in the office on Monday,” I said firmly.

“Your boss doesn’t think so. You’ve got a few more days here,” he said, smiling. Then his smile faded. “Unless you had plans.” He meant a date. I watched his face betray his feelings, the same feelings I’d had when he’d done this to me.

I swam closer to him and wrapped my body around him. “Ever since we met with David on November 2, I’ve wanted you to be as hurt as I was. I wanted to see you feel the kind of pain I did, to know how much it hurt. You’re sitting here with me in paradise, enjoying me, and then you realize that I may actually have a date with someone and I have to leave. It’s bugging the shit out of you that I may want to get up from here and leave to be with someone else.”

“Do you?” he asked.

I ignored him. “And I thought I would enjoy this so much, but I don’t. I’m not trying to hurt you, and I’m not trying to punish you. And I don’t have a date, or anywhere I have to be.”

“Good,” he said, and smiled back.

“Let me tell you about these other men in my life, and what’s been going on. I think then you’ll understand where I’m coming from.”