The Next Stage - 7. Showing Off

“James is going to be so mad.” Ryan mutters as they pull up to the house. Brayden had stayed up waiting for Jasper and Ryan’s arrival. Apparently, he had the house to himself because they were rocking up to a full-blown house party.

“Oh, you are going to be so grounded.” Jasper teases as Ryan calls Brayden.

“What is going on?” Ryan asks, though he barely hears a reply through the music and noise. Brayden yells an order for them to come around the side of the house, then he hangs up.

“Can I stay for the party?” Leo asks with a grin.

“It’ll be all Brayden’s uni mates, right? So probably underage for you.” Jasper pokes his tongue out at Leo.

“Legal drinking age is 18 in Australia.” Leo shrugs.

“You’re good then.” Jasper laughs and gets out of the car. “Come on, lets go see what this idiot is doing.” He holds his hand out for Ryan. Ryan takes it, shaking his head at the obnoxiously loud music. Clearly unhappy with this, Ryan leads Jasper around the back of the house, through the side gate and into the yard filled with drunks.

“WELCOME HOMOS!” Brayden shouts from the veranda overhanging the yard. No one takes any notice of him.

“Ok, I’m out. I’ll put your bags inside if the door is open and see you in the morning.” Leo laughs and backs away. Brayden runs down to fist bump Ryan and give Jasper a nod.

“Welcome to an Aussie backyard party.” Brayden slings his arm over Jasper’s shoulder and turns him to face a washing line. “You know how you Americans do keg stands and shit? Well, we Aussies have goon bags hanging from a washing line.”

“What is ‘goon’?” Jasper looks at Ryan who is just mortified.

“It’s box wine taken out of the box.” Brayden states like it’s obvious. “If you wanna fuck, we have 5-star cane fields. All the privacy you could ask for.”

“Brayden come on...”

“No, seriously. I had my first blowie in those cane fields. Don’t tell Jimmy,” Brayden winks at Ryan and looks around the party, his eyes land on a guy wearing a pair of football shorts and nothing else, not even shoes. “Oi Davo, come ‘ere. This is my half-brother Ryan, and his...” Brayden looks to Jasper, not sure how to introduce him. Jasper looks to Ryan, suddenly not confident whether he’s in the right company to say ‘partner’. Ryan just takes Jasper’s hand and gives ‘Davo’ a nod. “Yeah, that.” Brayden points at their hands. Davo’s not interested in the greeting, he’s just eyeing off someone else at the party.

“What’s up?” Davo wasn’t asking, he was greeting.

“Davo and I have known each other since Auskick days.” Brayden introduces.

“I pegged Vinnie over there. Ya ready?” Davo grins.

“I am sincerely hoping that means something very different over here.” Jasper answers.

“10! 9! 8! 7! 6!...” Davo’s count down is joined in by a few guys around the party while a number of people start frantically feeling around on their clothes. “3! 2! 1! SUCK SHIT VINNIE YOU CUNT!”

“Nah fuck off!” Presumably, Vinnie answers then the guy behind him plucks a clothes peg from the mid back of his shirt.

“SHOEY, SHOEY, SHOEY!” The party. Vinnie reluctantly takes one of his shoes off and pours his drink into it, then lifts the shoe to his lips and drinks from it. The girl he’d been talking to steps away from him and laughs to the girls around her. Vinnie puts his now alcohol soaked shoe back on and goes to get another drink.

“He slept with Davos’ Missus a while back.” Brayden explains, as if that’s why Jasper and Ryan are both frowning at what they had just seen. “If someone pegs you then everyone starts counting down and you’ve got until they get to 1 to find the peg or you have to do a shoey. Got it?” Brayden tells his two disgusted and confused guests.

“Ok, can we put our bags in the house first? My driver is waiting in the car.” Jasper lies. Really, he just wanted any excuse to get out of this.

“Yeah of course. The front door is unlocked.” Brayden replies and turns back to Davo, not at all interested in helping or showing them where to go. Jasper squeezes Ryan’s hand and the couple leave the yard.

“I’m just going to say it. This is not what I expected at your dad’s house.” Jasper exhales like he’s been holding his breath.

“He’s showing off.”

“I’m not impressed. Does he think this is impressive? Wine bags hanging from a washing line? Drinking from a shoe?”

“Yeah, you only drink from champagne flutes these days, at your upper-class parties.” Ryan mocks, nudging Jasper.

“I was thinking more along the lines of, I only drink very occasionally and in moderation. I’m trying to be responsible. Especially right now, because I’m in the perfect headspace to end up triggered into a drinking problem.” Jasper sighs, feeling more stressed by this than Ryan expected.

“Brayden doesn’t necessarily know that.”

“Yeah, because it wasn’t on every entertainment report around the world a few years ago. He probably has no idea.” Jasper rolls his eyes.

“Are you not hearing his music? It’s a Finnish metal band. He doesn’t listen to you, so I doubt you pop up in his algorithm. He doesn’t look into you, any more than you look into him. I am proud of you, though. For knowing your triggers and limits and walking away.”

“We’re not going to get any sleep here, are we?” Jasper rubs his forehead.

“I am so sorry. I didn’t think he’d do something like this.” Ryan sighs.

“I feel stupidly old being annoyed by a house party. Am I old now? A quarter of a century and I’m grumpy about a bunch of drunk people enjoying themselves?” Jasper runs his fingers through his hair and yawns.

“If not hooking up in a cane field means we’re old, then I’d rather be old. Come on, lets get to our room then I’ll sort out Brayden.”

“What are you going to do, dob on him to your dad?”

“Maybe.” Ryan shrugs, leading Jasper to the front door and into the house.

When the lights come up Jasper is in immediately in awe of the wooden interior. Polish wooden floors, high wood ceiling. The house was open. From the front door you could see out the back glass doors and into the yard. The lounge room was separate to the kitchen only by the kitchen benches which right now, were littered with wine caskets and bottles of ‘Bundy Rum’.

Ryan picks up his and Jasper’s suitcases for the night and shows Jasper down a short hallway on the left of the kitchen. “This is us,” he says, opening the door and turning on the light. It was a spare room, nothing fancy. The sight of a bed is all Jasper cared about though. He groans and lets go of Ryan’s hand, walking like a zombie to the bed and face planting it. As if on cue, the music cuts off and it sounds like the crowd in the yard is dispersing. There are red and blue lights coming through the windows.

“Did they just get shut down?” Jasper laughs, rolling over and kicking off his shoes while Ryan goes to peer out the window. Brayden opens the door with a frantic look on his face.

“Dude I need a favor...”

“Whatever trouble you’ve gotten yourself in, is on you.” Ryan answers, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, nah, come on. Davo just got the shit beaten out of him and I’m too high to drive, the ambos have taken him, I just need someone to take me to the hospital. He’s proper fucked up hey, there was three of Vinnies’ dudes laying into him.” Brayden holds his hands up showing they are covered in blood.

Ryan softens. “I don’t have a car,” he shrugs as he walks over towards Brayden.

“You can drive mine.” Brayden offers.

“No way, your cars are the wrong way around and you drive on the wrong side of the road. I’m sorry, I’m not comfortable doing that.”

“It’s only a 5-minute drive, don’t be a pussy, he’s my best mate.”

“Don’t try and guilt Ry into risking his life when he has valid reasons not to drive you. I’m sorry Davo got into a fight, and I’ll pay for an Uber for you if you need...”

“I don’t need your money. Fucking prick.” Brayden spits, slamming the door and stomping away. Jasper looks over at Ryan and shrugs.

“You’re not driving him.”

“No. I just, I feel like I should be doing something. I don’t know where James is but I feel responsible now.” Ryan sighs, looking back out the window.

“Is this what Brayden is really like? I thought he was really smart. A moment later the door opens again. “Actually, can you do me a solid? The cops are here drug testing everyone...”

“Jesus Christ Brayden.” Ryan rolls his eyes.

“What have you taken that they are going to find?” Jasper asks.

“Just weed.”

“Is that not legal here?” Jasper frowns.

“No, you fucking druggo.” Brayden retorts unnecessarily angrily. Jasper casually kicks his suitcase under the bed while Ryan steps between him and Brayden with his hands up passively.

“Calm down, what do you need me to do?”

“Good morning, what time did you two get in?” James greets Ryan and Jasper the following morning, he’s standing on the veranda with the barbeque going and the smell of sausages is filling the house.

“It was around 10.30.” Ryan answers, shaking James’ hand.

“Hope you slept alright in there.” James gives Jasper an acknowledging nod.

“Your house is really nice.” Jasper smiles, looking around it again in the daylight.

“Doesn’t get much better than a good old Queenslander. You'll like this Jasper, check out the back.” James gestures towards the cane fields. Jasper steps out onto the veranda and grins as he spots a kangaroo over the fence.

“No way, I thought having kangaroos in your yard was just a stupid assumption we had of you Aussies.”

“Nah, unless you’re in the city, you’re likely to come across them. I reckon they breed in those fields.” James replies. Jasper and Ryan share a look. Hopefully it was only kangaroos breeding in there last night. “There you are, did you get that assessment done or were you bludging last night?”

Brayden looks less than happy about being out of bed. “I finished it,” he lies, avoiding looking at the two who knew the truth.

“Onya. Alright, breaky is served.” James takes the plate of sausages to the table. Brayden gets a loaf of bread and tomato sauce. Breakfast.

After they eat their sausage in bread smothered in sauce, which Jasper was surprised to actually enjoy, James presents them with an envelope.

“Wedding gift,” he says. Jasper and Ryan open it to find concert tickets. “He’s a comedian and musician. I thought you’d like him Jasper, because he’s a pianist. Bloody talented bloke too. Have you seen the Matilda musical?” James asks.

“No.” Jasper shakes his head, though he’s honestly feeling really overwhelmed at the fact Ryan’s father had thought of this because Jasper played piano.

“Ah, thought you would have since you’re into musicals and all that.” James shrugs.

“No, that’s Ryan’s territory.”

“I’ve heard of it.” Ryan nods.

“Well, this bloke was behind that. He’s just incredibly clever, his lyrics are stupid and fun and intelligent. I reckon you’ll enjoy it. His piano playing is amazing. I’ve never been into instruments, but we went and saw him a few years back for the comedy aspect and the performance blew me away.” James smiles at them.

“Thank you, that’s really thoughtful. I’m looking forward to this.” Jasper smiles back.

“He also did a song with a rapper, at the start of Covid, calling out our Prime Minister. Good times.” Brayden quips. “And he sang a song about the pope a few years back. Also, he’s got a whole song about being in love with an inflatable sex doll and a 6 minute long song about cheese. He’s so clever.” James glares at Brayden, not impressed that his gift was being mocked.

“When is the show?” Ryan looks at the tickets.

“It’s the day before you go to the Whitsundays, right?” James asks and Jasper just nods, ignoring that James had just ruined the surprise of where Jasper was taking Ryan for their honeymoon. Ryan didn't seem to hear either that or he was just pretending not to, because he doesn’t react.

“Thanks again.”

“No problem. You’ve gotta enjoy this stuff while you can. There won’t be time for concerts when bub comes along. How is all of that going?” Jasper excuses himself to get ready for the day, while Ryan is onto the topic of the baby.

“Hey, Jas.” Brayden knocks on the bedroom door.

“Please don’t call me ‘Jas’, only Ryan calls me that.” Jasper replies, not looking at Brayden while he’s getting dressed.

“I wanted to say sorry for last night. I was being a dickhead.”

“That’s alright, how’s your friend going?” Jasper asks.

“Oh yeah he’s alright, just a broken nose.”

“Is that all?”

“Fuck off, do you have any idea how much blood comes outta someone’s nose? I thought he was dying, ya unsympathetic wanker.”

“Does your dad not know you’ve dropped out of University?”

“I haven’t dropped out, I deferred.” Brayden’s excuse makes Jasper roll his eyes. “I went straight from school to uni, I just wanted a chance to be, ya’know? Young and carefree and shit.”

“I get that.” Jasper sighs. He couldn’t go a day without being reminded of his pending expiry of freedom.

“Bullshit, you’ve been able to do all the fun stuff and be paid a shit tone, you’re lucky, you don’t have to worry about anything.”

Again, Jasper rolls his eyes. “Did you come in here to apologize or to make petty comments?”

“To apologize, but you just piss me off,” Brayden shrugs.

“Didn’t piss you off when I paid your drug fine last night.” Jasper crosses his arms. “Now if you'll excuse me, I’m being paid a ‘shit tone’ to perform in a few hours and thanks to you, I’m doing that on minimal sleep, so why don’t you get your carefree, still-living-with-his-dad-at-23-years-old-and-acting-like-a-teenager, self out of my way. I was hoping for 16 years sweet merciful years before I had to deal with this kind of drama with my own child, I don’t feel like practicing on an adult that just can’t be bother to get his life together.”

“Wow, that’s ironic coming from you. Shit, guess I should just sing shitty songs and act like a girl on stage so I can afford to be an asshole to people that are below me.” Brayden snaps.

“I’m not an asshole to people that are below me, Brayden. I’m being an asshole to you because you’re being one to me right now. I actually don’t have an issue with you outside of this mood you’re coming at me with.

“Yeah, nah. I’m pissed because when my mate was in hospital you were being a dick and not letting Ryan help me.” Brayden argues. “You act like you are so much better than everyone, like you’re god’s gift to Ryan while you’re off fucking around behind his back with your assistant.”

“I’d love to know when I supposedly have the time for an affair, when I don’t even have time for this stupid conversation.” Jasper looks at his phone as Leo is calling. “Have a good day Brayden.” Jasper states, walking out of the bedroom and down the hall to Ryan.

“Heading out already?” Ryan asks, checking his watch.

“Yeah, Leo’s out front. I’ll see you later.” Jasper answers and kisses Ryan briefly on the cheek before heading out.

“How was the party last night?” Leo asks as soon as Jasper plonks himself into the passenger seat of the car.

“What the hell is with the Aussie language? I didn’t think I’d need a translator for an English-speaking country, but I swear I can't understand half of what Ryan’s douche’ bag brother says.” Jasper complains. “I picked the wrong week to go off my meds.”

Much like everyone else, Jasper was dressed and made-up very dramatically for this event. Subtlety was out the window, he was in a ty-dyed rainbow singlet and hot pink leather pants, glittery silver platform boots that come up to mid-calf and a pride flag tied around his neck like a cape. He has winged eye liner, silver eye-shadow to match the boots and his hair is freshly coloured, lighter blonde with rainbow tips. Usually, his fringe sat just above his eyes, but today it was blown back with a hairdryer and sprayed to stay in that position.

He’d sent Ryan a photo as he was getting ready and Ryan had initially laughed at it. If he dressed like this at home, it’d look completely ridiculous, but on a float being driven down the parade and singing the song he’d performed to come out years ago, the look was very suitable. Jasper fully adopted the persona too, he was being extra and he knew it, and he was loving it. His enjoyment was what made this outfit work. In boots that glittery, you have to act like being gay is your entire personality.

Watching a sea of fans adoring his husband was a very different feeling to watching all the people that took interest in him at the pride parade. It seemed like even years on from his first performance of this song, Jasper had a massive effect on some of the young men, even over here. As his float passes by, he’s applauded. There’s two men beside Ryan in the crowd that are talking about the moment they saw him come out and how it inspired them in their own journey.

Most people didn’t really care though, he was just another person on a sparkly float. There were floats for everything from the disabled members of the community, to the police, fire and ambulance services. People of all ages were here to celebrate. There were two different ‘Family’ themed floats, one with parents supporting their LGBTQIA+ children and one with gay and lesbian couples and their kids.

One adorable lesbian couple on the float was pregnant. The woman carrying the baby looked to be about as far along as Grace, she was wearing a shirt that read ‘I loved her so much, I grew another heart’, and Ryan is just about melting as he watches the way her partner was affectionately holding the bump, while hugging her from behind.

There’s a gay couple, both with a child on their shoulders, one boy that looked to be about 5 and the other with a girl toddler that is holding on by her dad’s hair. Despite this, both men had the biggest smiles on their faces.

Ryan takes out his phone and sends Grace a text, asking how the baby is going. He couldn’t help but picture himself on a float with Jasper a few years from now with a family of their own, and hopefully, they would look just as happy.

“Ryan!” He’s waved down by a reporter covering the event. “We’ve just spotted Ryan Kurtis, former member of The Obsolete and runner-up on Dancers and Dreamers season 2!” the reporter tells the camera as he goes to Ryan’s side. “Welcome to Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras! How are you finding it?”

“It’s amazing, it’s so great to be here.”

“And I hope you don’t mind me asking. Obviously, we just saw Jasper a few minutes ago. Are you here supporting him?” Ryan is surprised not to be asked more bluntly if they are together.

“I’m actually here visiting family, though I did want to drop by and show my support.” Ryan answers.

“I love that, and you know he deserves so much support. I am a huge fan. I cried when tickets to his show sold out, but I’ve been hearing it’s phenomenal. What have you been working on lately?” the man asks. The respect to not ask about his relationship to Jasper, was refreshing.

“I’m doing some choreography work.”

“Fantastic! I’m so glad to hear you’re doing well. Enjoy the rest of your time here in Aus!”

“Thank you, have a good night.” Ryan smiles as the reporter gives him a wave and walks off to talk to someone else.

Ryan makes his way to the top floor of a nearby hotel with a view overlooking the parade. Leo greets him at the door and invites him in. The room is lit up by a black light, the white bedsheets glowing. Jasper is sitting on the edge of the bed with his shirt off, singing towards the camera while another camera man is recording him side on. Ryan leans back against the wall and watches silently. The bed on one side is messed up to look as though someone had been sleeping in it and a random set of clothes is thrown on the floor.

“Ok stand on the end of the bed, you’re going to put your arms out and just fall back,” one camera man explains as he gets himself up on a stepladder to film from above.

“I didn’t know he was doing a music video while we were here,” Ryan mutters to Leo.

“Such a workaholic.” Leo laughs. “Shouldn’t take long. Most of the clip will be back and forth between this and his parade performance, so we’re only filming half a video now.”

“Quiet please,” the camera man calls. “And fall.” He directs, Jasper falls back graciously onto the bed with his eyes closed. It takes another dozen times before the fall is perfect and by then Jasper looks like he doesn’t want to get back out of the bed.

“Ry~” Jasper summons him with a mischievous smile. Ryan walks over and Jasper gets off the bed, undoing his shirt. “Lets get this off, I need a hot guy in my bed.” Jasper orders, not giving Ryan much choice. “Did you like the parade?” he asks.

“I really do. They go all out with this here. I can’t believe the representation and support.” Ryan answers, though he gets the feeling Jasper isn’t listening. “You did well,” he adds. Jasper slips Ryan’s shirt off his shoulders with a devious smirk as he throws it across the room at Leo.

“Pants too.” Jasper orders.

“What?”

“The sheet will cover you, but I need it to look like we have a sex life.” Jasper instructs and reaches for Ryan’s zipper.

“Hold on, you’re not taking my pants off with an audience.” Ryan laughs it off, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. He takes his pants off and Jasper throws them at Leo too, poking his tongue out at Leo before turning back to Ryan and instructing him on how to lie.

“On your stomach, this arm up under the pillow, your head the other way so we don’t see your face when the camera pans over us. Tuck your leg this way. Ugh perfect, shows off those back muscles nicely.” Jasper plays with the sheets, so it only covers Ryan’s underwear. Someone sprays Ryan’s back with a thin layer of oil. He hopes it’s not Leo. He feels Jasper climb in the bed beside him and they are ordered to lie still. Jasper is told to slowly turn his head towards Ryan, then after a few takes of that, the proper lights come on.

Leo dumps Ryan’s clothes on the end of the bed for him. Ryan sits up to see Jasper is over beside the camera man with Leo, watching back some of the footage. The other camera man is packing up their equipment. Jasper pulls his singlet back on and Leo passes him a black leather jacket covered in buckles.

Finally, Jasper turns his attention to Ryan. “That’s going to look so good. Thanks for the last-minute cameo,” he says with a wink. “Are we going to be late to the party?” Jasper’s attention is short-lived as he turns back to Leo.

“It’s an all-night thing.”

“Cool, ok. Thank you, guys, for filming with me. I can’t wait to see the finished product.” Jasper shakes hands with the camera men.

“No problem, nice to meet you.” Now that the lights are on, Ryan notices how young the camera crew is. They looked like they were barely out of their teens. They gather their things and leave, neither of them acknowledging him. Ryan walks over and looks out the window, down at the parade below them. Leo is straightening out the sheets on the bed and tidying up the room again. Jasper leans against the window beside Ryan, looking at his phone.

“Ooooh shit, we’re trending. That’s not good.” Jasper says with a smile, clicking on #Rysper??? “False alarm, it’s just photos of both of us at the parade and people speculating.” Jasper sighs and puts his phone away. “What are your plans for the rest of the night?”

“What do you mean?” Ryan frowns at Jasper.

“Well, Leo’s taking me to that kink thing now. Are you going back to the parade or home or?..”

“Did you really just invite me here to be a human prop?” Ryan asks insulted.

“It was you or Leo and I figured since that rumor is already going around, it’s probably best not...”

“You might as well have used Leo. Have fun with him at the party.” Ryan scoffs and walks off, shaking his head.

“Ry, chill. We’re spending the rest of the week together.” Jasper calls out.

“No, we’re not. We’re spending a few minutes on stage together the next three days, where I’m just a prop to show off that you’re not as lonely as all your songs make you out to be.” Ryan snaps and slams the door behind himself. It was the fact Jasper didn’t understand what was annoying about this that Ryan found infuriating. It was hard for Ryan to keep holding up this ‘supportive’ role when all he got in return from Jasper was used as part of his endless performance. He hoped they would have spent at least some time together tonight. Every other couple in the city was celebrating their love, but Ryan was going home alone while Jasper was off with Leo and everything about that screamed ‘this is wrong’.

He takes out his phone as he gets in the lift and sees a reply from Grace.

‘This is definitely your baby, because my god it’s a little dancer already. Does not stop wiggling around.’

Under the text is a video of Grace’s bump. Ryan watches it, in awe of how he could see the kicks and movements. His heart aches at how much he wished he could be there to feel those kicks himself.

Ryan didn’t want to be here anymore. Touring with his husband was officially ruining their relationship, and he was missing out on all the excitement of his baby’s growth. It was hard for him to think of a more forgiving and understanding way to feel about the fact he had to stay and keep up this performance with Jasper on the next few shows, other than just admitting he was starting to resent this.