The Next Stage - 9. Dream Come True?

“Ryan!” Jasper startles him from a peaceful moment in the hammock. “We’ve been doing this all wrong.”

“Doing what?” Ryan asks, sitting himself up to look out at his husband.

“The making love thing.”

“Really? Because this is the first I’m hearing you complain.” Ryan replies, not really sure at all what Jasper could want to do differently.

“Shut up, idiot. Come here.” Jasper orders, turning and walking away. At least he didn’t stick around to watch Ryan fall out of the hammock. Ryan follows to where their picnic had been on the first night, to find Jasper had lined the area with rose petals. “We’ve had these all over the ground everywhere since the shoot, and neither of us have been smart enough to collect them for a blanket of petals to make love on.” Jasper sighs, crossing his arms and staring down at the ground.

“How long did it take you to put all these here?”

“Longer than we’re going to spend on them, but that’s not the point. Tonight, when the sun goes down, we’re going to fuck like we’re in a romance movie.” Jasper pauses as Ryan laughs. “What?”

“Do you hear the way you speak? Fuck like we’re in a romance movie. So romantic.” Ryan teases. “I love you trying to be romantic. Never change.” Ryan smiles, putting an arm around Jasper’s shoulders.

“Fine, we’ll make love like we’re in a romance movie. Slow and sensual on a bed of rose petals under the moonlight. The camera angles will be flattering and someone will be playing a harp in the background.” Jasper shoots Ryan a cheeky wink.

“I. Really hope you’re not serious about that camera crew and the harp.” Ryan states. He wanted to believe Jasper would never, but.

“I’m sure there’s a ‘sexy harp’ playlist on Tidal I could find.” Jasper shrugs, turning to Ryan and resting one hand on Ryan’s chest, the other slipping through his windswept hair.

“Camera crew?”

“Not sure if this is normal, but I picture everything like it’s being filmed.”

“I love you and that’s definitely not normal and probably something you need to talk to someone like a psychologist about.”

“It’s a bit vain, isn’t it?” Jasper shrugs. “Anyway, I just wanted to do something nice for the last night, because the first night was such an extravagant event that I feel like I set the standard pretty high, and lost it somewhere between sand being places it shouldn’t and that 3-hour long boner that I thought was going to end with a trip to the hospital and faking my death to avoid the embarrassment of that making headlines.”

“You did say you weren’t leaving the island until your body told you to stop. How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ll never double up on dick pills again.”

“You learnt that lesson the hard way.” Ryan says.

Jasper rolls his eyes but can’t help laughing, too. “One of us is not going to survive the dad joke phase of this marriage,” he says as he rests his head on Ryan’s shoulder, sighing with content. Ryan’s arms circle around him and they stay that way, silent, for what seems like forever. Jasper pulls back and looks into Ryan’s eyes.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just thinking.” Jasper smiles and presses his lips against Ryan’s before he could ask him more.

*** 

As Jasper and Ryan lie together, staring up at the peaceful night sky, they both feel so peaceful. The sound of the leaves rustling with the sea breeze, the crash of waves on the foreshore and the heat of their bodies pressed together under a blanket, left them feeling completely reset. Ryan’s fingers were determined to trace over Jasper’s entire body, while Jasper tries to memorize this feeling. This had been so good, but they were only hours from tomorrow now. Tomorrow it’d be back to tour and the start of another month. Tomorrow would be the last time they referred to their baby being 'months away’. Sure, they weren’t due until the end of next month, but still. It was getting close. Six more weeks on tour, then one to two weeks until their lives would change.

“Are you asleep?” Ryan asks gently.

“No.”

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah.” Jasper gives a heavy sigh, turning to Ryan and collecting his lips in a soft kiss. Running away from the world had never been so tempting, but the closest he could get was the way everything around him seems to fade away when he’s pressed against Ryan. There’s a slight tinge of guilt to the way he let himself postpone the stress that was building within him. But he also convinced himself that he would feel differently under different circumstances, so by avoiding it, he was saving Ryan from worrying about a problem that would resolve on its own at the right time.

He pulls back from Ryan, taking out his phone and looking for a playlist, then setting off a meditative and smooth harp. Ryan rolls his eyes, though smiling affectionately as Jasper’s attention falls back on him.

“From the moment I met you, everything changed. I knew I had to get you, whatever the pain. I had to take you and make you mine.” Jasper gazes lovingly into Ryan’s eyes.

“Are you seriously quoting One Direction at me?”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t notice. Ok, how’s this? Meeting you was a privilege. Falling in love with you was an honour and having you choose to share your life with me is a gift. I truly believe that something in me knew the moment I looked into your eyes that I had just met my soulmate. I was so clouded by my attitude and my confusion that it took so long for the stupid part of my brain responsible for telling the rest of me I was falling for you. You came into my life and taught me that love wasn’t this feeling of obligation. That it’s possible for that rush I had when we first kissed to last a lifetime. You met a boy that was so afraid of himself that he put on an act so convincing even he couldn’t see through it, and you turned him into a man that is thankful every day to call you the love of my life.” Jasper sighs as he finishes speaking, looking down into Ryan’s confused eyes.

“What were you quoting that time?” Ryan asks.

“One of the drafts for vows that got thrown out the window because I forgot on the day, and also because I thought it was embarrassingly sappy.” Jasper shrugs.

“Oh,” Ryan smiles. “You’ve been holding out on me with this side of yourself.”

“That's the last of the romance I have in me. I'm fresh out, it’s your turn from here on.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, but you’re really going to follow my little speech with three words?”

“No, I’m going to follow it with this.” Ryan caresses Jasper’s cheek and kisses him tenderly. His hands moving just as gentle and slow as his lips are, slipping down to his waist to bring him closer. Jasper basks in the gentle nature of every kiss and every touch. Ryan revels in the sheer ecstasy of it all. While his mind was lost in the way life was surpassing even his best dreams, Jasper was focusing all his attention on not ruining the moment by cursing into the delicate night air.

Ryan’s ability to control himself until the very end, to keep things so unrushed and sensual, was skillful. Jasper was internally screaming for the pace to pickup as the need to let go built. Though he’d hoped for a blissed-out romance movie style ending, with both of them reaching their climax together, he’s honestly, equally relieved when Ryan finished without him.

“Well, you can tick that off your bucket list.” Jasper smiles as Ryan presses a kiss on his shoulder.

“Do you want me to do anything for you?” Ryan asks, unable to hide the hint of disappointment.

“I’m fine.” Jasper shrugs.

“Are you sure? I hate the idea of not getting you off.”

“Honestly, after yesterday, it’s probably a good thing to give it a rest.” Jasper jokes. His eyes meet Ryan’s concerned expression. “It’s not lack of enjoyment or anything.” Jasper says, but Ryan just gives a sigh and lies back, looking back up at the moon.

“Can I say something really honest and you promise not to punch me?” he asks with another sigh. “We just had boring sex.”

“Well, we are married, so it’s about time.” Jasper nudges Ryan. “Don’t overthink it.” Jasper grabs Ryan’s head. “Stop. I can see you overthinking it.”

“Sorry you didn’t enjoy it...”

“I did. I think you just built it up to be something more. For what it’s worth, in my head, with the camera angles and the faded-out background ocean ambience, it was cinema perfect.” Jasper winks.

“So, it was boring enough that you were imagining better sex during it?” Ryan asks. Jasper looks at him for a few moments, taking in the smile on Ryan’s face that was trying to convince him the question was a joke.

“Shut up, Ryan’s brain!” Jasper yells into Ryan’s forehead before pulling away and standing up, pulling Ryan up with him. “Come on, I feel genuinely the most relaxed I’ve been in a very long time. I want to take advantage of that and get some sleep. I think this holiday has reset me.”

Usually, his insomnia left him scrolling Instagram or Twitter into the early hours of the morning. But being away from the world for a few days with nothing but his lover had refreshed him in a way he didn’t know he could be. As they take a scenic stroll along the water’s edge on their way back to their cabin, Jasper felt as though he was going through a full quarter life crisis.

He wanted to take his music in a new direction. To focus on creating more meaning, telling a more introspective story through his lyrics. He loved writing pop songs, but he didn’t want to be tied to one brand anymore. He didn’t want to be just the pop star with the meaningless but catchy songs. Though he would never want to give up the playful thrill of his stage performances, either. There would have to be a balance. He also wasn’t sure he would want his child to look up at him on stage pashing their dad, then flinging a jockstrap into the audience. In many ways, 25 felt young, but becoming a parent felt old.

Life was going to change; he would have to change, too.

*** 

“Do you remember forever ago, you said you’d get high with me sometime?”

Ryan chews his lip, then replies with a sigh. “I remember hoping you’d forget I agreed to that, yes.”

“Well, that's unfortunate for you.” Jasper states as he gets off the bed, goes to their suitcase, and pulls out a small box with a joint in it. “This is our one chance, before we become boring parents and never get time to be stupid and spontaneous anymore.” He takes it out and offers it to Ryan.

“Is it ok if I say I’d rather not?”

“Of course. Are you cool with me smoking it, though?” Jasper asks.

“Go for it. I’ll take care of you. I was going to take another walk around the island before we leave though.”

“I’ll come for the walk. It’ll just be more of an adventure.” Jasper grins.

Five minutes later, they are walking along the foreshore while Jasper lights up his joint. He pockets the lighter, holds the joint in one hand and slips his other hand into Ryan’s as they walk.

“So, we should probably talk about something.” Jasper sighs seriously.

“Oh?”

“This was a great idea, but it’d be a lie to pretend this whole thing hasn’t been terrible for our relationship.” Jasper states.

Ryan looks at Jasper, confused and stressed. “What?”

“The entire tour. It’s been shit for us as a couple.” Jasper answers. The context relaxes Ryan’s inner panic.

“I agree. I don’t think I should ever go on tour with you again and I mean that in an ‘I love you too much to want to jeopardize us by touring with you’ kind of way.” Ryan confesses, giving Jasper’s hand a squeeze.

“That’s exactly how I feel. I’m glad you get it. I’m not firing you from my shows, I just think it’s been too hard on us both and we haven’t enjoyed it.”

“It’s been awful.”

“This is why people say not to mix business with pleasure.” Jasper laughs. “We turned our relationship into a job and it took away the enjoyment of it."

"For the record, I haven't stopped enjoying kissing you on stage every show. It's just every other part of it that's been challenging." Ryan sighs.

"You’ll finish the tour though, right?”

“Of course. Then I’ll support you with all of my heart, without leaving the country.” Ryan smiles. Jasper sneaks a quick kiss to Ryan’s cheek. Ryan stops walking to take in the animal standing before them.

“How did a kangaroo get here?” Jasper asks.

“It’s the native animal.”

“Yes, but we’re on an island.”

“As a pose to the rest of Australia?”

“What do you mean?” Jasper stares at Ryan, confused, the joint already starting to take effect.

“Australia is an island.”

“Can kangaroos swim?” Jasper asks. It’s Ryan’s turn to stare, confused. He’d not thought about it logistically.

“Give me that.” Ryan laughs and puts his hand out for the joint.

“No.” Jasper smirks, takes a drag, then grabs Ryan and presses his lips against his. The bitter taste of smoke fills Ryan’s mouth as Jasper’s tongue rolls around his. Ryan groans and pulls him closer. Jasper breaks the kiss to laugh deliriously.

“That was actually hotter than it had any right to be.” Ryan says as smoke leaves his lips.

“I want that on my grave, ‘Here lies Jasper Hotter-than-he-has-any-right-to-be Reid.” Jasper jokes.

“My turn.” Ryan orders. Jasper turns the joint around but doesn’t pass it over. Instead, he holds it for his husband. Ryan's lips press to Jasper’s fingers as he fills his lungs with smoke. He gives Jasper a nod and Jasper pulls the joint from his lips. Ryan returns Jasper’s actions, sharing the mouthful of smoke in the heated kiss. Jasper breaks it off and blows the smoke back in Ryan’s face with a cheeky smile.

“Finish this off and catch up to me. I need you on my level,” he grins, popping the joint back in Ryan’s mouth before walking away with his arms spread out, his head up, and his eyes closed.

*** 

“This is so good. Why don’t we live here? Buy this Island and be that famous couple that lives on a private island,” Jasper sighs. The tide washing over his legs.

“We so should. I love it here. Every day can be like our honeymoon. The rest of the world can stay out there and leave us alone.” Ryan holds Jasper’s hand. Jasper turns to him and gazes into his eyes, then reaches out and caresses his cheek.

“Fuck yeah.”

“Fuck yeah.” Ryan repeats.

“Fuck yeah.” Leo calls out, interrupting their peace.

“Leo~ You’re not chopped to shreds~”

“You weren’t too worried, since you didn’t check in on me once.” Leo jokes.

“Sorry. I forgot about you, completely. I’m glad you’re alive though.” Jasper grins.

“I take it you’ve had a good honeymoon then?” Leo smirks and crosses his arms.

“Mhm. We’ve decided we’re not leaving.”

“I heard that plan. I am going to have to ruin that for you, though. We do have a flight to catch. You might want to put some clothes on.”

“Never! Ry, run~!” Jasper gets up and legs it down the beach. Ryan doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing, but he is quick to follow.

“Seriously!?” Leo shouts after them, watching the naked men running along the foreshore. “I love this job,” he laughs to himself, heading off to their cabin to get their bags.

It’s 20 minutes later that Jasper and Ryan finally come back to their room, hand in hand and laughing.

Leo is sitting on the deck with a coffee, doing sudoku. “I left clothes out for you both. Everything else is packed,” he states without looking up despite the temptation.

“Do we have time for a shower? I’m covered in sand.” Jasper admits.

“Make it quick.” Leo finishes off his drink and stands up, managing politely to keep his eyes at a respectable level. “I’ll meet you on the boat in 15 minutes. If you’re any later, we are going to miss the flight, so do not fuck around for too long,” he orders as he stands up and starts heading off towards the pier.

“Ok mum.” Jasper rolls his eyes and pulls Ryan into the bathroom with him.

*** 

Sobriety was hitting them by the time they joined Leo on the boat back to the mainland. Unfortunately for them, because now they had to sit in a small cabin with the guy that’d not half an hour ago watched them run naked on the beach. The fact that Leo wasn’t saying anything about it almost made it weirder. He just sat there, smiling and shaking his head every few minutes. No doubt that was an image that wouldn’t leave his mind, ever.

“So. How have you been?” Jasper finally asks him.

“Well, not chopped to pieces but definitely in chains.” Leo replies.

“Cute.” Jasper nods, looking out over the water and leaning his head on Ryan’s shoulder. He didn’t want to leave, but they got what they needed out of their little break from reality.

“Your music video looks good so far. I’m guessing production for that went smoothly.”

“Oh, have you seen the draft already?” Jasper asks.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s missing a shot of you two running naked down the beach, but it’s otherwise very well put together.” Leo states.

“I’m sorry you saw that.”

“I’m not. Gotta say it’s interesting to see Ryan letting loose for a change.” Leo smirks at Ryan.

Ryan shifts uncomfortably, yet tries to fix a professional expression on his face. “Have they drafted the music video already?” he asks.

“Sure have. It’s all your to go over.” Leo answers, taking out an iPad and opening his emails, locating the music video amongst the hundreds of messages over the last two days about Jasper. Titles reading “Request for Interview”, “Appearance at”, “Sponsorship Offer”, “Insider Details on” along with various photographers and videographers confirming, requesting or delivering work to him.

Ryan couldn’t help acknowledging that Leo kept up with Jasper’s tour schedule and workload a hell of a lot better than he did, but he wasn’t going to start questioning that compatibility again only minutes after leaving their honeymoon.

Besides, the way Jasper leans against him so they can both watch the drafted video, and watching the way the video perfectly captured their chemistry, was reassuring beyond measure. Jasper watches it through three times, then hands it back to Leo.

“Any thoughts?” Leo asks.

“Plenty, but I’m not in the mood to pick flaws.” Jasper shrugs, turning back to Ryan and kissing him softly. “What do you think?” he asks when their lips part.

“I wasn’t thinking anything just then.” Ryan admits with a smile. Jasper laughs and sits back a bit.

“Oh, Ryan, if you’re not still too high, Mark has asked for you to call him.” Leo interrupts them.

“Why?” Ryan asks.

“I don’t know, I’m not your secretary.” Leo shrugs.

“Rude.” Jasper laughs at Leo’s comment.

“I do actually know what it’s about, but he wanted to be the one to talk about it with you.” Leo smiles at Ryan. Jasper moves from Ryan’s side, to sit beside Leo, whispering in his ear to ask what it was about, but Leo just shakes his head and looks expectantly at Ryan.

“Is it a good thing?” Ryan asks, taking out his phone anxiously. Leo pretends to zip his lips and just nods at the phone in Ryan’s hands.

The phone barely gets a third ring before it’s answered.

“Hi Ryan, how is tour going?” Mark asks.

“Fine thanks. Uh, Leo has just let me know you wanted me to call.”

“Yes. I just wanted to let you know, I hope you don’t mind, that I put your name out as a potential choreographer for the Broadway production of Chicago and you’ve been shortlisted.” Mark pauses to let him speak, but Ryan is silent. “Are you there or did the call just drop out?”

“I’m here. Wow. Sorry. Wow. That’s, that’s huge. What does that mean?” Ryan asks, still processing the news.

“What it means is the board wants to meet with you to assess whether you’re suitable to take on the role. You’d need to audition. If you pass that, there’s an interview process and so forth. The only issue is that it may conflict with Jasper's tour schedule.” Mark sighs.

“Fuck my schedule, Ryan go.” Jasper encourages excitedly.

“I just promised I’d finish tour with you.” Ryan shakes his head.

“I’m not having you pass up this opportunity. That’s a huge gig.”

“It is massive.” Ryan nods in a daze.

“Is it something you want to do?” Jasper asks, finally moving back to Ryan’s side and taking his hand, which was shaking a little with nerves and excitement. Ryan looks at him with a smile that he couldn’t play down even if he wanted to. “Go and audition.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t at least try, and I’ll never forgive myself if I am the reason.”

“I’ve never even been to a Broadway show before.”

“Well, you might as well choreograph your first ever show.” Jasper grins at him. “Do you know the show they’re hiring for?”

“Everyone knows Chicago.” Ryan rolls his eyes and laughs as if the question was absurd.

“Do you like it?”

“Of course.”

“Then say yes.”

“Yes.”

“It’s a ‘yes’? You want me to confirm that for you and schedule in an audition?” Mark asks.

“Yes. I’ll audition.”