The Next Stage - 10. Support

“Wow, upgraded to private first class. This is fancy.” Leo grins as he boards the flight.

“Thank you for keeping me company.” Jasper sighs, wrapping his weighted blanket around himself and settling in for the flight. “What have you got for me?”

“We’re going to tear apart your music video, then get into the expensive champagne. I promise to keep you busy.” Leo pulls out his laptop and heads over to sit by Jasper’s side.

“Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Leo shrugs.

After having Jasper focused for almost a full hour, Leo calls time for a break, helping himself to the champagne. Jasper had been meticulously critiquing the music video, which was already ‘good’ to begin with and now it was good, but needed more than 50 changes in the first minute and 42 seconds. He was pausing almost every single frame to point out things like ‘ask them to edit the water to look clearer in this shot’, ‘cut that scene 0.3 seconds earlier before the bird flies into shot’. Leo wasn’t going to make it through all the lovey dovey, kissey scenes coming up if Jasper was going to be pausing and picking it to perfection too. No one needed to look at that many mid-kiss paused faces.

“It's just missing the footage of you guys running naked along the beach.” Leo teases, walking back over and sipping at the drink.

“Surprised you didn’t get your phone out and record that.” Jasper laughs and leans back in his seat, massaging at his wrist.

“You know I love this job, right? I’m not breaching my contract no matter how tempting it seems,” Leo winks. Jasper smiles to himself and looks back at the video he was working on and sighs, closing the laptop. “Do you want anything to drink?” Leo offers.

“So badly,” Jasper groans, covering his face with his hands. “I’m counting down until the tour is over or Ryan gets a job for my next drink.”

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have offered. I can make you a tea?”

“The tea on these flights is pretty atrocious.”

“Well lucky for you, I packed the tea you like in the carry on, so that is a non-issue.” Leo shrugs. Jasper looks over at him in awe. “I know, I know. I’m the perfect man, it’s amazing I’m still single.” Leo puts his glass down and gets started on making Jasper’s drink.

“Are you single or in some kind of long distance or open poly thing?” Jasper asks with a curious smile.

“I’ve definitely got people I am going home to.”

“How many?”

“How many that I’m dating or how many that I’m going to hook-up with?” Leo looks over his shoulder with a smirk.

“God, I hate you.”

“You shouldn’t. I have to remember more than one birthday and anniversary date. It gets complicated.”

“Oh, shut up. I don’t feel bad for you and your interesting sex life. And you can’t convince me with your organization skills that you’ve not got every date memorized and their favourite things pre-ordered. Honestly, if anyone is going to manage 30 boyfriends at a time, it’s you.” Jasper smiles as Leo sits beside him, passing him his tea.

“30? I’d need my own PA for that many. I don’t exclusively have boyfriends, either, you know. I tend to date women more often, I just sleep with more guys.”

“Why?”

“Just haven’t met a guy that I could see myself settling down with.”

“You want to settle down?” Jasper asks, surprised.

“I picture myself getting a wife and maybe having some kids one day, when I’m like, 40.” Leo shrugs and sips his drink.

“So, what, you don’t think you might end up marrying a guy and having kids with him?” Jasper asks.

“I mean, I doubt I’ll marry a woman that isn’t cool with having an open arrangement, or maybe the right kind of third will come along and we can be a throuple with kids, I just tend to get more emotionally close to women but more satisfied by men. It’s complicated not being into one gender and also not being willing to give up relationships with either gender to satisfy the other.”

There’s a long silence. Leo looks beside himself at Jasper, who is looking pensive, massaging his wrist again while he looks out the window of the plane.

“Do you have any sleeping pills?” Jasper asks finally, closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh as he holds his blanket tighter around himself.

“Oh, am I boring you with my problems?” Leo asks jokingly.

“No. I’m just having an internal panic attack and I know I’ll be too hyped to sleep and I’m meant to sleep on these flights so that I’m not drained of all my energy when I get off the plane and have to look good.” Jasper sighs, drawing the blanket over his head and cocooning himself in it.

“What triggered you this time?” Leo gets up and finds Jasper’s medication and sleeping pills.

“I don’t know.” Jasper lies, one hand popping out of the blankets as he hears Leo shaking the medication containers. “Thank you.” Jasper pulls his hand back in after he feels the pills in his palm.

“You’re welcome. Are you alright? Do you need me to do anything?” Leo asks.

“Just wake me with enough time to look human before I get off this plane. It’d be great if I didn’t look like death had punched me in the face. Look at the bags under my eyes.” Jasper groans, though not actually coming up from the blanket to show his tired face.

“Are you complaining, fishing for compliments or after a solution?” Leo asks with a laugh, patting the blanket.

“Mostly complaining. He’s seen me in much worse conditions. I’m sure it won’t be a complete turnoff.”

“Ok, well I'm looking forward to you telling me to fuck off, like you always do when you ask me to wake you, shortly followed by the 'why did you let me nap? You know I never wake up well from naps' comment.”

“Shut up.” Jasper laughs popping out from under the blanket, just to flip Leo off.

“You’re cute.”

“Oh my god are you a fanboy.” Jasper teases.

“I don’t listen to your music of my own volition, but you, as a person, I'm obviously a fan of.” Leo shrugs. "I just get paid to watch you sleep," he winks.

"Uh-huh. You get to take photos of my drooly sleep face. How lucky are you?"

"I should bottle it and sell it on eBay. Someone would pay good money for your drool." Jasper looks at Leo through confused, squinty eyes for a moment.

"If you're that short of money, first of all, how? Second of all, how much would people for that do you reckon?"

"Easily a thousand dollars, though there would be people that pay triple that just to watch you spit in a jar, I'm sure."

"Leo. As an employee of mine, you are outstanding. Punctual, considerate, thorough, holistic and sometimes, I am very afraid of you and the things you know through 'people'." Jasper tells him. Leo laughs and pulls the blanket back over Jasper's head.

*** 

Jasper slips into a seat in the back row of the auditorium and waits. He had every intention of being impartial, as a fellow professional in the entertainment industry, about the other auditions. They were good, but he hated every one of them. Ryan is the fourth, called onto the stage. Jasper could tell from each step Ryan took that he was nervous, right up until the music plays and another version of him takes over. The zone he got in when he danced was fascinating to Jasper.

It was different to how Jasper felt freedom on stage. For him, performing was a chance to be more exaggerated and extreme about everything. He loved the act of it all because he was essentially limitless. On stage, he could be whoever his fans liked him to be and the way they ate up his performance encouraged him.

For Ryan, though, it was almost the opposite. Performing gave him the freedom to hide himself. He didn’t have to be anything but a coordinated and precise flow of movements. Who he was had nothing to do with it. The freedom to put everything aside and think only of the next step, become an anonymous body that created emotions and told a story.

Jasper is surprised to see Ryan perform a tap dance. It wasn’t a style Jasper had seen Ryan do before and it was mesmerising to watch. Not to mention he was wearing a suit, suspenders and all, without the jacket. He was impossible to look away from.

The second part of Ryan’s routine required a partner. One who was familiar, though Jasper couldn’t remember where he’d seen her before. He’s busily distracted by the way they were dancing together to a song about why it was fine to commit a murder. The moves were seductive yet full of fiery passion and rage. They go from the partner, kicking her leg up beside Ryan’s head to do the splits while standing. Ryan holds her ankle and walks around her body, turning her on the spot. Then she grabs him by the collar and hooks her ankle around his neck. In a swift move, she throws him to the floor and mounts his waist, ripping a long piece of red material from his shirt collar. She rolls off him and stands up, holding the material. Ryan stands up and begins an impressively aggressive tango with his partner.

All the performances had featured the same music set with similar style performances. Either Jasper was crazy jealous or Ryan and this girl sold theirs the best because the story they were telling through dance had captivated him. Despite knowing this was an act, they made their movements smooth and harsh, keeping a feeling of hatred and potential danger between them until the song is over.

“Thank you very much, Mr Kurtis. And may I ask who your dance partner was today?”

“Kelsey Alexander, my dance partner from Dancers and Dreamers season 2. She was kind enough to help me out today.” Ryan answers, beaming at her proudly as she gives a curtsey. Jasper feels as though his blood has gone cold. Ryan spent three days here preparing for his audition routine with her. Three days having their hands all over each other and doing this seductive, passionate hate routine. It's not that he didn't trust people, he just didn't want anyone else to touch Ryan at all. Irrationally possessive? Yes. Self-aware? Yes. Still going to hate everyone that Ryan had to be this close with in order to do his job? Unapologetically, yes. Ryan was putting himself into this new world of theatre and if that was successful, he’d be in a new group of people. Gorgeous, talented, like-minded interests. At least Jasper’s career was a solo one. Everyone helped him be a star, but that’s where the interactions with people ended. No one was holding his hips and telling him how to move. The few times Ryan had taught Jasper dance moves, or they had danced together, it had always been an excuse to touch and tease one another or flaunt themselves for the other. If Ryan got this role, Jasper would have to get his head to separate the way they used 'dancing' from the professional way Ryan would use it for work.

“Well, thank you both for your time. You may go.” The people, judging by Ryan's skills, had given nothing away for any of the other auditions, either. Jasper couldn't even tell if they had been impressed once yet.

Ryan leaves the stage with Kelsey linked on his arm and Jasper sneaks out of the auditorium. Luckily, Jasper was getting good at navigating the hallways of a backstage area. He could find his way to a dressing room with his eyes closed at this point, so his search for Ryan didn't take long at all.

“I stuffed up that step. I am so sorry I almost kicked you for real.”

"You were amazing, don't worry. Besides, having to actually defend myself made it more believable."

“So, is the show all sexy murder dances?” Jasper chimes in. Ryan drops the hug he's giving Kelsey and stares over at Jasper, almost insultingly surprised to see him.

“Jasper? What are you doing here?” he asks, confused but amazed by the sight of his husband leaning casually against the doorframe of the dressing room. “Kels, can you give us a minute?” Ryan asks in a soft tone.

“Of course. I have to go anyway but it’s so good to see you again. We definitely have to catch up for a coffee sometime.” Kelsey kisses Ryan’s cheek, grabs her bag and walks out, muttering a polite ‘hi’ as she passes Jasper.

“What was that about?” Jasper frowns.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Ryan replies. “We're meant to be a secret, remember?” he whispers.

“Oh right. I was just in the area and thought I would check it out. Didn’t realize you would be here, Ryan.” Jasper says slightly louder than necessary. “Do you want me to go?” Jasper asks, taken aback by Ryan’s reaction to the surprise.

Ryan's lips quirk into a smile. “God, no.” He reaches a hand out. As Jasper takes his hand, Ryan pulls him from the doorway, then shuts and locks the door behind him. “I can’t believe you came all this way just for me. How was it?”

“Of course I did. It wouldn’t be right not to be here to support you in your career after all you do for mine. You did amazingly. I’m so proud of you.” Jasper says with a sincere smile.

"What were the other auditions like?"

“You can’t ask me that. I’m biased. You’d expect a high level of quality in people going for a choreography job on Broadway. The standard was high, but from my extremely biased perspective, you were certainly the best one I saw.” Jasper answers, now unable to take his eyes off Ryan's lips.

“Definitely biased, but thank you anyway.”

“So, now that you’ve auditioned, how do you want to celebrate?” Jasper asks in a cheeky whisper.

“Well, I locked the door.” Ryan smirks.

"Not here."

'Why not here?"

"Hooking-up backstage could jeopardize the whole thing. If anyone found out, they would not hire you.”

“I’m not going to get the job anyway, so what do I have to lose?” Ryan shrugs, his eyes on Jasper's lips though his ha

“I’m sure no one gets a job this big on a first audition. But are you really willing to ruin that chance?"

"To do you against the mirror of a dressing room mirror of a Broadway theatre?" Ryan asks, walking Jasper back until he can feel the heat of the dressing table lights around him. "Very willing," he whispers, his lips playfully brushing along Jasper's jaw before finally touching an alluring kiss to his lips.

"The other day you said this would be your dream job." Jasper reminds him, plucking at the suspenders Ryan was wearing.

"Well, my dreams are right in front of me so..."

"Ry." Jasper places his hands on either side of Ryan's face, staring in awe at the way the lights around the mirror were reflecting from Ryan's eyes. "You're allowed to have dreams outside of me. I appreciate you supporting me in my career, but it's time for you to live your passion, not just stand by me while I live mine. I want people to refer to me as 'the world famous choreographer Ryan Kurtis' husband'."

"World famous might be a stretch." Ryan shrugs.

"You get what I'm saying?"

"That you don't want to have sex right now against this mirror?"

"Oh, I do. Trust me. To the absolute core of my soul, I want that. But if I don't leave right now, then you won't see how much you want this." Jasper whispers, pressing a soft, loving kiss to Ryan's cheek as he steps aside.

Before Jasper can walk away, Ryan turns and hugs him, holding him tight for a few seconds, then just relaxing and letting all his pent-up anxiety go as he enjoys the comfort and support of Jasper’s arms around him. “Thank you for coming for this. It meant a lot to have you here," he sighs.

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” Jasper smiles. "I'll see you after the tour. I love you." He blows a kiss and walks out, not looking back. Ryan watches him go, then turns back to the mirror, an overwhelming amount of excitement in his face. Jasper was right. He wanted this. He wanted this more than he thought he did. Being the dancer in his husband's show, choreographing for him and touring with him, planning a life with him, it'd all felt like enough until now. Now he wanted these lights to never stop burning his face and the thrill of dancing to a classic musical number to never wear off. He wanted this. As much as he'd relied on it, he didn't want the comfort of Jasper's shadow anymore.

*** 

Jasper was proud of walking out to let Ryan live his own dream for once. Ryan was making the most of the comment too, because he was now trying to find their dream house, with the help of Beth. Jasper had gotten off the plane to a multitude of photo messages of the houses Ryan had already looked at, though he didn’t really have much interest in looking at them. Ryan likely knew that so he cleverly started taking photos of himself near whatever he wanted to draw Jasper’s attention to. He’d pose in ways that had Jasper very interested.

The shower looked great, with Ryan in it posing shirtless.

The fireplace was almost as tempting as the way Ryan was lying in front of it, looking like he needed company.

He stepped off the plane feeling like he was a helpless and hopeful 18-year-old all over again. Sent here to make a difference where it was impossible to do anything. He'd not been looking forward to returning, but there was no way he could run a tour for charity without seeing where the money was all going, and to put on some performances for kids that needed something to enjoy. Ryan had been looking forward to coming here with him, but there would be other opportunities. A few days apart for Ryan to rediscover his own passion and for Jasper to explore what motivated him in the first place.

The first step was to attend an orphanage that he'd been funding the building process of.

"It's not been approved yet," the translator explains as the building foreman tries to justify the lack of action at the site.

"How can it have not been approved? I thought this was all sorted out months ago?" Jasper asks, a mixture of confusion, annoyance, and frustration.

"There were riots with the government and new leadership took place. All projects that weren't started were sent for re-approval. Then with this illness sweeping through, money was syphoned to fund health care."

"Do they have the right to do that without consulting me?" Jasper turns to Leo, who just shrugs. "So, none of my money has gone to helping these kids here?" Jasper asks, completely disheartened. Leo places a comforting hand on his shoulder and gives him a squeeze. "Show me where it's gone. I want to see the hospital."

He's silent the entire trip to the so-called hospital. All he could think as he listens to Leo read him all the information he could find on the government issues that had interrupted all progress and the medical statistics from the pandemic, was how useless all of this felt. Arriving at the 'hospital', he feels his heart sink. The building needed loads of maintenance to be able to run effectively enough to make a proper difference. Even with the best medical supplies and treatments, anything could sweep through this place. It wasn't even close to the standard needed for infection control. There was visible mold on walls, the staff were hardly distinguishable from the ill, no gowns and masks to protect them either. Jasper felt guilty himself that he was wearing a mask while everyone else in here was just leaving their health to chance.

He's led through to the Children's Ward and the moment he walks in he wants to leave. There are hundreds of kids in here, no older family members taking care of them or keeping them company. Not even given proper beds, just blankets and pillows on the floor. The only noise in here was the sound of sobbing and repeated calls for what Jasper assumed was either 'mummy' or 'daddy' in their language.

"How is this the standard of care that my money has produced? I've donated a global tour worth of funds here. These kids don't even have beds." Jasper asks, tears welling in his eyes.

"The government appreciates the financial support, it was allocated towards the families that are most necessary for our society."

"So, who does that mean?" Jasper turns and crosses his arms.

"Governing families and those who can make a difference to our country..."

"The rich. The rich were prioritized while these kids are left on the floor to die alone?" Jasper asks, his heart breaking, but he was trying to stay strong.

"These children are not able to heal others or contribute to the run of the country..."

"Can you leave, please? I don't have any further questions at this time." Jasper orders. The translator and the hospital 'manager' turn and exit the room without another word to him. Jasper turns to Leo, completely shattered. "What can I do?" he asks with a shaky voice, his mind racing to come up with a way to help and all he could think of was the solution he had last time. Pack up, get back on the plane and leave. There's nothing one person can do to change a country this broken.

***

"Oh, I felt that one!" Ryan grins. Grace was lying flat on the floor with Ryan's hands covering as much of her bump as he could. He'd been like this for 10 minutes, telling the baby to move and being disappointed. Finally, though, he was getting kicked, and it was everything. "Yeah, now you're active. Thank you. Daddy's been waiting to feel these!" Ryan grins.