Max and Josh - 20. Thanksgiving

Disclaimer: This story includes sexual and romantic situations between consenting individuals. Any allusion to illicit or illegal activity, sexual or otherwise, is used only for enhancement of the story line and not promotion thereof. Remember AIDS, HIV and other STDs are a very real threat, please always practice safe sex.

I can prove copyright on this story so please don't copy or remove this story for personal use without my permission.
*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Max and Josh 20: Thanksgiving

Max and his Grandpa were up early Thanksgiving morning, making breakfast for the ladies of the family.

“How’s this Max?” Maxwell asked his Grandson as he showed him the orange pepper he had diced up. Debbie preferred the flavor of the orange pepper to greens ones.

“It’s perfect, do the green one and the ham the same way. I’ll do the onion.” Max replied with a smile as he broke a few eggs into the bowl in front of him.

It was a gratifying experience working in the kitchen with his Grandpa. Maxwell wasn’t very comfortable in the kitchen, he preferred to let Caroline do the cooking, but he couldn’t resist when Max asked him to help surprise Debbie and Caroline.

Beside, it was a chance for him to learn something from his Grandson, instead of the other way around; despite Max’s help though Maxwell decided to let Max handle the actual cooking of the omelets.

Max was just sliding the last of the four omelets out of the skillet when Caroline came down the stairs, her sheet of grey hair was slightly disheveled down the back of her flannel night gown.

“How on earth did you get him to help you out in the kitchen?” Caroline asked as she eased herself into the barstool behind the counter, reaching for the mug of coffee her husband had sat down in front of her.

“It was easy; I told him it was for the two of you.” Max replied with a smile as he saw his mom come out of her room.

“Mmm something smells good, who made omelets?” Deborah asked as she ran a hand through her hair, it was just as ruffled as her mothers.

“Grandpa and I did, he did most of the prep work though. I just took care of the cooking. He was a little leery of the stove; he didn’t want to risk burning anything.” Max said with a smile. It was cute to watch his Grandpa blush a bit around the ears as his mom and Grandma congratulated him on his work.

The four of them talked over breakfast and once they were done they took it in turn to use the two showers, while the other two started on the food for the coming day. The house actually had three bathrooms, one master bedroom where Debbie slept, the add on in Max room, and then a downstairs one near the stairs. It wasn’t often used though.

The small turkey was still in the oven, it would be done in time for lunch. While Caroline and Deborah went to take showers, ladies first after all, Maxwell and Max cleaned up from breakfast and got to work.

While Maxwell started peeling potatoes Max got busy making the dessert for that evening, it would need time to cool.

It was called a Robert Redford Cake. It was a type of layered pudding cake. The first layer was a mixture of cream cheese, powdered sugar and cool whip, next came a layer of pudding, (Max was using sugar free butterscotch), topped by more cool whip on a gram cracker crust. Most of the ingredients were low fat, fat free, and sugar free so Max didn’t have to worry about it hurting his stomach.

“Max have you got a peeler? I’ve gotten so used to using one I can’t peel with a knife anymore.” Maxwell said as he rummaged in the drawers for a vegetable peeler.

“Yea, second drawer on the right Papaw.” Max said as he put the dessert away into the fridge.

Caroline came down the stairs from his room and took over for her husband as Max turned to making a green bean casserole.

“You go on up and get a shower, I know you can have your sling off but I want you to be careful.” Caroline said and Maxwell nodded dutifully before kissing her on the forehead.

“I know I haven’t said anything since I’ve been here but I am so happy that you and your grandfather are talking again Max. He’s just been so torn up these last few years. I tired so many times to get him to call you. He was so miserable.” Caroline said as she picked up the vegetable peeler and got back to work on the potatoes.

“I know Grandma. A lot of good things have happened these last few years but there has been this hole in my heart where Papaw was. I’m sure you know this already but I’ve always thought of him as a surrogate father to me. When he walked out at Christmas that year…it tore me up inside.” Max said quietly, too choked up to go on.

“And now that he’s back that hole is filled again.” Caroline said as she looked from her work.

Max, still a little choked up, just nodded.

“So there are no other missing pieces, no one else that you need or want?” Carline was careful to keep her voice light; conversational.

Max was a little confused by her question, who else did he need? He had his mom, his grandparents, Frank, Kylie, Fay; and most importantly Josh. The only other person he could think of that he would like to see would be Mark.

Somehow though he knew that Mark wasn’t the person that she was talking about.

“Who else do I need?” Max asked as he poured the green beans into the casserole dish.

“I don’t know…maybe your brother.” Caroline replied carefully.

“Michael, yea right; I’d rather have Mark back in my life.” Max scoffed.

Caroline tossed her potato scraps away before she answered.

“I know you boys parted in a bad way but don’t you think that it is time that you tried to reconcile, at least for your mothers’ sake?” Caroline asked and Max had to fight back harsh words.

“Michael chose dad, not once but twice, I think his decision was pretty clear Grandma.” Max said as he slid the casserole into the top shelf of the oven. He was doing his best to be respectful to the older woman but this wasn’t an easy topic for him.

“He was just a little boy when your parents went back to court over your custody Max.” Caroline said, trying to hurry somewhat. She was worried about her husband or daughter overhearing them.

“That might excuse the first time Mamaw, but not the second. He told both mom and I that he didn’t want anything to do with us when I told them that year.” Max said quietly, not able to meet her eyes; he was finding this a much more difficult topic now that he didn’t have the distraction of cooking.

Before Caroline could reply though she spied her husband at the top of the stairs; Max had heard the distant sound of the door shutting and leaned in close to talk to her.

“I’m sorry Mamaw, I really am. I’ve told mom more than once that if she wanted to try and get back in contact with Michael that I wouldn’t mind, that I’d even be nice to him if he ever came around; I’m just not interested in talking to him anymore. I’ve made peace with it and put it behind me.” Max whispered hurriedly.

Caroline was unable to reply by Maxwell making it to the bottom of the stairs and Debbie coming out of her room.

“So how is everything coming along?” Debbie asked as she made herself a cup of coffee.

“Well everything but the turkey should be done in about an hour. But that still leaves two hours after till lunch. We can keep everything warm in the crock pots and slow cookers though.” Caroline replied, turning away from her young grandson.

“How about a game of cards or two until then?” Maxwell asked, pulling a pack of cards out of his pocket.

Caroline put her potato’s on to boil and Max started the water for the mac and cheese. It wasn’t a very traditional dish but it was a tradition for them. Once they were done they joined the other two in the living room, their conversation temporarily forgotten.

                                                      *      *      *

Josh smiled as he sat at the little table in his Grandpa’s study. He was playing a three-way game of dominoes with his Dad and Grandpa while his mother and Grandmother talked.

The five of them had finished Thanksgiving lunch a few hours ago and had settled down to talk and relax until dinner time.

“I don’t know how I let you two talk me into this. I’m really, really bad at this game.” Josh’s dad grumbled before passing his turn for the second time in a row.

“It was pretty easy actually.” Josh said as he played a double five.

“We didn’t ask, if you remember correctly, so you were never given the option of saying no.” Aaron said as he matched a five and two to his grandson double five.

“I figured it was something like that.” Joshua answered; he was finally able to play a domino this time around.

“Why don’t you boys play a game you can all do well at?” Shannon called from the love seat where she sat with Emma.

All three of the Mathews men smiled at her suggestion, Joshua’s was short lived though because Aaron took the chance to place his last tile; leaving him in last again.

“You would think that after all these year you would have gotten better at this game son.” Aaron told his son as he pulled the tiles toward him to put them away.

“Yea well I was always better at card games.” Joshua replied and the other two men laughed at his tone of voice, he sounded like a little kid.

“Well then let’s try a card game,” Josh said as he reached back to the table behind him for a deck of cards, “I’ve always wanted to learn blackjack.”

Joshua took the cards from his son and set to shuffling them, a smile on his face as he did. Blackjack was his game.

With Joshua playing the dealer the Mathews men spent a while playing cards until Shannon and Emma came over to drag them into a more family oriented game.

“Oh come on, it was just getting good.” Joshua complained and Emma slapped him on the arm.

The men surrendered their cards to Shannon while Emma produced the Scattagories game.

“Really Emma, we haven’t played this in ages.” Aaron said and his wife smacked him.

“Exactly, it is the perfect time to resurrect it.” Shannon said as she opened the box and distributed the boards.

Despite the objections of his dad and grandpa Josh was happy about the change of games. He had always been a fan of word games and Scattagories was an old favorite of his.

“So Josh, have you spoken to Max today; do you know what he is doing?” Shannon asked as the five of them played.

“No I haven’t. He is probably doing the same thing we are; his Grandparents are up from Kentucky. He said it was a tradition for them to play games and watch movies between meals.” Josh replied distractedly, he was trying to think of a Fictional character that started with Q.

“That’s nice; do you know how long they are in town for? I would love to meet Maxwell’s wife.” Shannon asked with a smile.

“No I don’t I could call later if you’d like.” Josh said finally setting aside his board, he couldn’t think of anything else.

“I’d like that very much.” She replied and Josh wondered why she was bringing Max’s family up; knowing the effect it would have on his grandfather.

“Yes that would be nice. Maxwell talks about her all the time.” Aaron said just before the game buzzer went off.

Josh smiled as the five of them tallied of the score for their list. He wasn’t sure what was going on with his grandparents but he liked it; at least his grandpa was willing to meet Maxwell and Caroline.

At around five, Emma, Shannon and Josh made their way into the kitchen to warm up the food for dinner while Joshua and Aaron excused themselves to watch one of the football games that was on.

It took about an hour to re-heat everything and when it was done the five of them sat down at the dinning room table.

Despite his plan for the Mathews and Calvin families to spend the holiday together Josh was happy. Even without his Aunts, Uncles, and cousins around he enjoyed spending time with his family.

Beside, he would be seeing them at Christmas and he had the weekend to spend with Max.

After Aaron delivered the blessing the five of them set to enjoy the meal. As they ate, that feeling of contentment Josh had felt a few days ago in his room returned; yea for once he had everything under control.

                                                      *      *      *

Max and Maxwell stood in the kitchen dividing up the leftovers from their Thanksgiving dinner. The excess would be enough to keep the four them for several days. The majority of it would be going home with his grandparents Saturday morning. Max was a little disappointed that they wouldn’t be staying longer but Caroline was the director of their church choir and she didn’t want to miss Sunday morning services.

Max’s choice in religious belief had been a small point of contention between him and his Grandmother when the subject first came but she had been able to adopt a live and let live attitude where it was concerned.

“Now don’t sulk son, you know how much the choir means to your Grandmother, she spent the better part of a year getting them up to snuff. You don’t want to go making her feel guilty.” Maxwell sensed his Grandson’s bad mood as they packed away the food.

“I know, I just miss you two. I mean this is the first time in almost a year I’ve seen Grandma and the second time in three years I’ve seen you. I don’t want you guys to leave so soon.” Max tried to keep the childish whine out of his voice, and wasn’t entirely successful.

“I know Max, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you these last years. I’ll make you a deal though,” Maxwell said and Max’s perked up a bit to listen, “You get two weeks off for your Christmas break right? Well, I think I can talk your Grandmother into a nice long visit.” Maxwell finished and before he could stop himself Max picked up the older man in a heavy bear hug.

“Easy boy, I’m guessing that makes you happy.” Maxwell said as he grandson set him back down.

“You have no idea Papaw.” Max smiled happily.

Maxwell smiled too and patted Max on the arm. He was careful with the movement, he wouldn’t admit to it but Max’s hug had jarred his injured shoulder a bit.

Finished with their work the two of them retired to the living room to join Caroline and Debbie for another round of cards. They had moved on from Rummy and Gin to Euchre with him and his Grandfather partnering against his mother and Grandmother.

Max understood the basic rules of the game but was still terrible at it, that didn’t much matter though, he was having fun.

“So mom…have you heard from Ellen or Chuck lately?” Debbie asked as she rearranged her cards.

“No, no I haven’t heard from Ellen since last Christmas. We got a card from them, thanking us for the Christmas gifts we sent up to Chicago.” Caroline replied.

Max’s head snapped up at her words, that last he had heard his Aunt and Uncle was living in Michigan.

“When did they move there?” Max asked careful, to keep his voice light.

“A few years ago… they moved shortly after the two of you moved here. From what we understand Chuck’s company transferred him.” Caroline replied quietly.

Max knew that he had no reason to be upset but he couldn’t help but feel a certain sting at the idea that they have moved to Chicago, a place that had been hell for him.

“Max it’s your play.” His mother's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

He wasn’t paying attention to his play and lost the trick to his mother and grandmother.

“Sorry Papaw.” Max said as he rubbed a across the back of his neck.

“It’s no problem son; we’ll get the next one.” Maxwell replied. Max didn’t realize it then but every person at the table knew how he was feeling.

Max did his best to focus on the game but he couldn’t help that his thoughts kept getting pulled back to Chicago.

He thought about Mark and Tim, Ray and Marshal. He remembered the darkness of the alley and the cold of the steel against his shoulders. He wondered where his aunt, uncle and cousin lived, wondered if he would ever come into contact with those three monsters.

“I need to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Max said as the hand ended.

Once in his room Max made a bee line for his bathroom. He turned the sink faucet on and splashed cold water on his face. He didn’t know why he was reacting so badly to learning where his cousin was living. Logically he knew that the chance of Mark coming in contact with Tim, Marshal or Ray was slim but he couldn’t get the idea, the image, out of his head.

“He called us you know, last year,” His Grandmother’s voice startled him, “He asked us for your address and phone number; he said he wanted to get in contact with you. Judging by your reaction though I am assuming that he never did.” She finished as he turned to look at her properly.

“No, I haven’t heard from him since that Christmas when I came out.” Max replied quietly.

“What are you afraid of?” She asked as she beckoned him into his bedroom.

“I’m afraid of the same thing happening to him that happened to me. I know it’s an insane idea, far-fetched to the extreme but I can’t get it out of my mind.” Max said as he sat beside her on his bed.

“I don’t know the chances of that honey. I know that Tim met Mark once but that was a long time ago. He got off so easy the last time that I’d wager he wouldn’t warrant it again.” Caroline said and Max nodded.

Tim, Marshal, and Ray had never been convicted of the attack on Max. Tim’s father had an alibi for them and the weapon they used was never found and the cop who had found him had seen their faces so they’d got away with it. The only way Max knew it was them was the fact that he had seen their faces before they pulled on the ski masks; one word against three didn’t work though.

“I know the idea is stupid, I’m sure Uncle Chuck and Aunt Ellen live in an upper class neighborhood it’s just…I don’t know.” Max leaned his forehead onto his hand.

“Have you tried to contact him before?” Caroline asked.

“A few times while we lived in Chicago but not since we got here. I called, emailed, wrote several letters but I never heard back. I always assumed that Chuck an Ellen was keeping him from contacting me. I just always hoped that he would get in touch with me when he turned eighteen or moved out.” Max didn’t look up from the floor as he spoke.

Part of him was feeling very guilty, having not tried to reach out to Mark in so long. The other part knew it was useless though, he knew that short of showing up on their doorstep that his Aunt and Uncle wouldn’t let him talk to them.

“Honey I know you're scared and worried but you can’t let it consume you. I know they aren’t the nicest of people but you’ve got to trust that your Aunt and Uncle would be careful with where they would allow Mark to go or who he made friends with.” Caroline told her grandson.

“I know….I miss him so much. We used to talk every week, email everyday. I just want him back.” Max finally looked up at his Grandmother, teary eyed.

“I know honey I know. We all miss Mark, and personally I miss Ellen. Maybe we can try and reach them, I still have the number that Mark called us on, and we have their address.” She proposed and Max smiled.

“I’d like that.” Max smiled.

“We’ll start first thing Monday morning. For now though let’s go down and play a few more hands.” She said with a hand on his knee.

Together they went back downstairs and spent the rest of the evening playing cards. Max was happy that night as he lay down, despite his earlier meltdown, he was hopeful about trying to get in touch with Mark again.

                                                      *      *      *

Black Friday found Maxwell and Caroline heading over to Aaron and Shannon’s for a visit. It had taken a lot to convince Caroline to go along with the visit; she wanted nothing to do with Aaron.

Her seeming calm to his unwillingness to celebrate a holiday with them had vanished and Max strongly suspected that it had been an act to keep his Grandfather calm.

In the end it took Max telling her, repeatedly, that he was OK with them going over to visit; and a little bit of guilt by telling her in an undertone how much it would mean to his Grandpa, who was very keen on the idea.

“Maxwell it is good to see you again,” Shannon said as she opened the door to the two of them, “You must be Caroline; I’ve heard a lot about you.” She turned her focus to Caroline as she ushered them into Aaron’s study.

“I’ve heard quiet a bit about you too,” Caroline replied as Shannon took their jackets, “About both of you.” Her eyes fell on Aaron.

Under her intense gaze Aaron felt his face heat up a tad, with that single look he realized that this was not a woman to upset or anger.

“Aaron Mathews, it’s good to finally meet you.” Aaron held out his hand to Caroline.

Despite the look she had given him a moment ago Caroline smiled sweetly and shook his hand, there was no need for animosity yet after all.

“It’s good to meet you too. Maxwell has been telling me a lot about the two of you since he was here last.” Caroline said as she sat on small sofa with her husband.

Caroline was happy to see that the smile on Aaron’s face faltered somewhat when she mentioned her husband’s last visit.

Maxwell knew that his wife was intentionally trying to make Aaron uncomfortable but there wasn’t much he could about it without causing a scene. Carefully he put a hand on her knee and squeezed.

Caroline spared him a small glance but nothing more.

“Would you care for something to drink; I just made a pitcher of Tea.” Shannon asked; both she and her husband were oblivious to the silent exchange between them.

“That sounds lovely; I’ll give you a hand.” Maxwell was eager to make himself useful.

As soon as the two of them were out of the room Caroline turned to Aaron.

“OK let’s get this over with before my husband and your wife get back. I know you have a problem with our grandson’s being together, and it runs a lot deeper than you’d like to admit. But let me tell you something.

If I hear that you’ve been given Josh a hard time again, or if him or my grandson come up hurt because of your problems and I find out about….boy you’re gonna wish that my husband got to you first. You understand me?” Caroline wasted no time in laying out the ultimatum that she had been thinking over.

“Perfectly madam, perfectly.” Aaron replied with a small smile, oh he liked this woman.

“Good.” Was Caroline’s only reply as Maxwell and Shannon came back into the room.

‘She hasn’t killed him, that’s a good sign.’ Maxwell thought as he handed over his wife’s tea.

“So how was your holiday?” Shannon asked politely as she sat down with her husband.

“Oh it was very nice. It was wonderful to spend the day with Max and Deborah; we rarely get up here from Kentucky and we haven’t seen Max’s brother or his cousin in ages so it was nice to have them close.” Caroline answered with a smile.

“We didn’t know Max had a brother, older or younger?” Aaron asked. His feelings about the boy were still uncertain but he figured the more he learned about him the easier it would be to sort them out.

“Yes, Michael. He’s Max’s older brother. He lives with his father. They had a very nasty divorce.” Maxwell replied sadly.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, were Max and his brother close?” Shannon asked but Caroline shook her head.

“Oh no, not in the slightest; those two boys are complete and total opposites. Max was always closer to our other Grandson Mark.” Maxwell smiled as he spoke.

The topic of family carried them for quiet some time. For Aaron it was an eye opening experience. Caroline seemed especially doting when it came to Max and he had the distinct feeling that she was singing his praises for his benefit.

“It’s very admirable that Max has an idea of where he wants to go in life at such a young age.” Shannon said after a monologue from Caroline on Max’s work with the PCH and aspirations to be a therapist.

“I’ve often worried about Josh, he’s always seemed so directionless. But I think he has started to gain some insight lately though…it seems that being with Max has been good for his self esteem.” Aaron spoke carefully but kept his eyes on Caroline as he spoke.

“I am glad; he seems to have so much potential.” Caroline smiled.

“Josh mentioned you were a fan of photography Caroline, I would love to see some of your work.” Shannon said and Caroline lit up.

“Well if you’ve got a computer with internet access I can make that happen.” Caroline replied and the two of them wandered off to find Shannon’s laptop.

“She threatened you didn’t she?” Maxwell asked as soon as the wives were out of earshot.

“She told me that if anything happened to our grandson’s because of me that I’d wish you got to me first.” Aaron replied mildly.

“She’s right you know that woman is vicious. It runs in her family. She comes from a long line of strong women.” Maxwell spoke with a smile.

“And you come from a long line of strong men. Your kids and grandkids are doubly blessed.” As Aaron spoke he got up and pulled a box of dominoes off a shelf.

“I am not playing that damn game Aaron; you know I am terrible at it.” Maxwell said but he got up and walked over to the table none the less.

“Ahh stop complaining Iron Hide. It didn’t do you any good in the service and won’t do you any now.” Aaron replied as he flipped the dominoes over and shuffled them around.

Maxwell just grumbled in answer as he sat down at the table and pulled his bones from the jumble.

The two of them talked back and forth as they played. Nothing of seriousness was discussed, men they had known in the service, their families. It wasn’t until he and Caroline were getting ready to leave that Aaron spoke up.

“Maxwell I was wondering if you knew Max’s schedule. I would like to have him and Josh over for dinner one night.” Aaron’s statement caused Maxwell to freeze in the process of putting on his coat.

“We’re not sure,” Caroline answered for her stunned husband, “You should ask Josh, he would likely know better.”

“Will do, it was very nice seeing you again Maxwell, and it was nice to meet you Caroline.” Aaron said as he and his wife shook hands with the two of them.

“Likewise.” Caroline replied.

Once they were on their way back to Deborah’s, Maxwell looked over to his wife.

“You did a very good job on him darling.”

“I know; it really did go much better than I planned.” Caroline replied with a self satisfied smile.

                                                      *      *      *

While his Grandparents were at the Mathews', Max and his mom spent some time at Josh’s place, visiting with him and his parents, it was the first time since October that they had sat down and talked.

In reality Deborah and the Mathews did most of the talking, Max and Josh were upstairs in Josh’s room. They were suppose to be going over the books that Max had loaned him but in reality they spent most of their time rolling around half naked on Josh’s bed.

“Do you really think their discussing literature up there?” Emma asked as she poured herself a glass of water.

Joshua and Debbie exchanged a quick look before answering in unison.

“Not a chance.”

Emma just shook here head, smiling.

“How was your Holiday Deborah” Joshua asked as his wife returned to the living room.

“It was very nice. It was the first time in quite awhile that I got to sit down with my parents. It would be nice to get the whole family together but I don’t see it happening anytime soon. My sister and her husband don’t come around very often any more; mom hasn’t heard form them in a year.” Deborah answered, thinking of her sister.

Joshua and Emma knew a sore subject when they heard one and wisely didn’t push the topic more.

“Max mentioned that you and your mother in law are opening a shop down town Emma. What will you be selling?” Deborah asked.

“It’ll mostly be plants and flowers. Caroline has a friend that owns a greenhouse outside of town but doesn’t get a lot of business. We’ll be acting as kind of brokers. She also has some a friends who work in crafts. We’ll be selling bath salts, soaps, baskets, wood carvings. I’ll be working the business end of things and she’ll take the care of the rest. We’ll be opening up after the first of the year; we want to have a good inventory built up.” Emma replied with a smile.

The three of them spent a few hours talking before Deborah decided it was time to get going. She and Max had dinner plans with her parents before they left for home.

“It was nice talking to you again Debbie, we really need to get together more often.” Emma said and Joshua nodded in agreement.

Right on time Max and Josh came downstairs, Josh’s cheeks were a bit pink tinged and Max’s hair was rumpled. Seeing this, the three adults had to suppress smiles.

                                                       *      *      *

“I’m thinking about starting to date again.” Deborah said suddenly as she and Max drove home.

Max knew she thought to surprise him by being so sudden with her statement but he wasn’t going to play along with it.

“That’s good. I bet it’s that guy in radiology that was your secret Santa last year, something Fields.” Max replied with a smile.

Debbie swatted her son on the arm as he stopped at a light.

“No it isn’t, his name is Jerry by the way. I was just thinking in general. You'd really be OK with that?” Max could hear the nervousness in her voice.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Dad was a long time ago. I know that you put off dating because of me but I think I’ve gotten over my daddy issues these last few years.

Beside I’m dating, why shouldn’t you?” Max answered with a smile.

“Dating? You two are practically engaged.” Deborah laughed and Max blushed.

“Yeah, I wish.” Max said in a small voice.

“Seriously Max.” Deborah pushed.

“Mom if you want to date than date. Just make sure that they are decent guys or else I might just have to get ugly.” Max replied seriously.

Deborah smiled at this; it was nice that her son was so protective. Worrisome, but nice; Max could easily take down a large man if he wanted to.

“So anyone you’ve had your eye on?” Max asked and Deborah swatted him on the arm again.

“I am NOT going to discuss potential dates with my son.” Deborah replied.

“Come on, who is a better judge of a guy than a gay dude?” Max answered seriously.

Deborah wasn’t sure if he was being sincere or not but it didn’t matter, she still burst out laughing.

                                                       *      *      *

Saturday morning found Max and his mom saying goodbye to his grandparents. He was really going to miss them when they were gone but he had his grandpa’s promise of a long visit in December to look forward to.

“Don’t look so down and dour; I’m sure you’ll be able to fill your time until December.” Caroline told her grandson as he carried his grandparent’s bags to the car.

Max smiled even as a blush crept into his cheeks.

“Do you always have to do that?” Max asked, unable to meet her eye.

“Oh honey, is that a question you really need to ask?” Caroline arched an eyebrow and smirked as she spoke.

“Did you give mom this much trouble when she started dating?” Max asked as they walked back to the house.

“Oh no, we were worse. I remember the first boy your mother brought home…it was so very funny. Your Grandfather sat on the porch with his rifle every afternoon when he walked your momma home.” Caroline replied with a sweet, innocent smile.

“You’re joking, tell me you’re joking.” The smile that spread across Max’s face threatened to split it in two.

“Oh no, I’m not kidding. Not even boys from church were safe.”

“What are you two talking about?” Deborah called from the front porch. She was standing with her father.

“Mamaw was telling me about the first boy you ever brought home.” Max replied, Debbie blushed.

“You mean how dad would sit out on the porch with his rifle?” She asked.

“Yep, that’d be the one.”

“I was only looking after your best interest honey.” Maxwell went for defensive but it came out as humor.

“Dad you were looking after my best interests the night you sat with him on the porch and stared at him for three hours with your gun across your knees. Everything after that was just torture.” Debbie tried to sound upset but she was smiling.

After a few more minutes of banter Maxwell and Caroline decided they needed to get going. Max hugged them both, and was reluctant to let them go.

“We’ll see you soon son and if we get in contact with your Aunt, Uncle or Mark we’ll let you know.” Maxwell squeezed Max’s shoulder as he spoke; he too was feeling a little sad about leaving.

“I’ll let you know if I find out anything as well.” Max replied quietly.

After exchanging a few more hugs and ‘I love you's’ Max watched as his grandparents climbed into their van and headed off.

“Mom…you ever think about inviting them to live with us?” Max wasn’t sure whether he meant it or not but he would like to see them more often.

“Yea honey, sometimes I do.”

 

                                                       *      *      *

“These are very well done Tom, very well done indeed. What, may I ask, motivated these” Dave asked as he looked over the sketches that Tom had brought him.

“I…I got to thinking about what you told me, not sketching myself into….into rape scenes. I admit it was pretty hard for me to do but…I tried.” Tom was embarrassed as hell.

He didn’t know what the hell he had been thinking, bringing the sketches with him. Since Halloween his sketches had taken a drastic turn. Seeing Max and Josh dancing with each other at Clubz, seeing how happy they were together had stirred up something in him.

That night when he went home to sketch and as he put pencil to paper he remembered Dave’s words from his last therapy session, about drawing himself in more consensual situations.

At first he didn’t think it would help but as he worked, he found the guilt and pain being poured into the sketches. Subconsciously he had chosen Carter Pierce as his subject.

He supposed it made sense. He had tormented Carter for months, hurting him and teasing him. Carter was also the focus of many of his ‘revenge’ sketches. In these sketches however, in addition to being R-rated instead of XXX, he showed himself in a more subservient role. He was still having sex but he was servicing Carter, touching him, licking and kissing him, bottoming for him; and he did all of it freely.

Tom knew that someone else wouldn’t see them that way but he did and according to Dave that was all that mattered.

“How have you been since our last session Tom? I realize it has been quite some time and I apologize again for being away for so long.” Dave asked, pulling Tom out of his thoughts.

Dave had had to cancel his last few appointments with Tom. After his last one before Halloween, Dave had some sort of family emergency he had to take care of and had been away for the last few weeks.

“I’ve been….I dunno sir. I guess I’ve just existed. I go to school, come home, sketch, eat and sleep and then start it over the next day. I haven’t had any luck trying to change my image. Hell I’m not even sure how to go about it.” Tom replied; depressed.

“What about an extra-curricular activity, a sport or club. Social experience is a key in changing how people perceive you.” Dave steepled his fingers together as he spoke.

“I belong to the school weight lifting team. Usually we would be in training by now but the school has had some issues the last few months that have put it on hold. Power problems that were in the paper, logistical issues with who will supervise it; they brought in a teacher, Mr. Clark I think, but him and Coach Mc’Cayhe are having problems with each other. It’s just screwed up.” Tom replied listlessly.

At first he had only joined the weight lifting team as a way to screw with Max, he didn’t care about the team or the exercise, and he told Dave this.

“Under normal circumstances I would recommend that you leave the team, as you didn’t join for healthy reasons. But in this care I would advise you to wait until the issues have been resolved and go from there. If you focus only on the sport itself, what you bring to the team and what you get out of it, you may find that you enjoy yourself.”

Tom took this into consideration but voiced something that had been nagging at me.

“Is it wrong for me to use the guys I have…bullied…in my sketches. Lately I’ve been feeling…guilty I guess would be a good word; for using them like that, after everything I put them through.”

Dave took a few minute to answer him, and Tom was more than willing to wait patiently.

“First off Tom, I am very glad that you asked me that,” Dave replied, catching Tom by surprise, “It shows me beyond anything else the kind of progress you are making. A few months ago, while you may have known it was wrong, you would not have considered stopping. I suppose now that you are?”

“Yes sir…the idea has been bothering me a lot lately. Before…when they were violent it was an issue, I’m sure you understand why. But now…I dunno.” Tom replied, before it was about them punishing him and it didn’t feel wrong. Now though the scenes were consensual. He may have been servicing Carter but in the sketch, to him at least, Carter was enjoying himself…not because he was punishing Tom but because of what Tom was doing.

“Most people would say that it is wrong Tom. They would not understand that you are drawing these, not out of sexual gratification, but as a way of working out the guilt and penance.

Having said that though I would suggest that now that you are able to draw less violent images that you begin to remove the images of your ‘victims’ and create wholly fictional people, or indeed shift your subject matter completely.” Dave finished.

“I…I don’t even know how to start to do that Mr. Watcher.” Tom replied, worried.

“You wouldn’t have to do it all at once, it could be done gradually. Change a few of your sketches a week. Instead of drawing these young men into the sketch with you; create someone entirely fictional. Picture what you would find to be an attractive person in your mind and then sketch them.

In changing your subject matter that is quite easy; you have a gift for drawing people. Instead of sexual scenes draw other scenes that you find appealing, a sports game, or a group of friends. Or take a person and draw them as you see them, or as what you think they are.

A good way to start the process is a self portrait. Draw yourself as you see yourself to be, or what you believe to be true about yourself.”

As Dave spoke Tom had to bite his lip, he didn’t have a very high opinion of himself; he doubted any picture he sketched of himself or his ‘inner’ self would be very positive.

“You said that my sketches are a way of working out my guilty feelings. Do you think transitioning in that way will have the same effect? I don’t want to go back to drawing violent scenes.” Tom tried to tamp down the fear he felt as he spoke.

“Normally I would probably say no but the fact that you don’t want to go back to how you were may make all the difference. And as I said, you don’t have to do it all at once, work gradually. As you reconcile yourself more I think you will find the need to draw guilt relieve scenes lessens.” Dave replied with a kindly smile, Tom was really beginning to feel at ease talking to Dave. He was starting to think that he could branch out into other topics with the man.

“Can I ask you a question Tom?”

“Of course Sir.” Tom replied, confused a little.

“Have you considered apologizing to the individual you have hurt over the years due to your internalized homophobia?” Dave’s question cut straight through Tom to an idea he had been toiling over.

“Yes Mr. Watcher, I have, and to be perfectly honest with you though the idea scares the hell out of me. I don’t see any way I could apologize to them without explaining why I did the things I did, without telling them that I’m…that I’m gay.” Tom bit off the word; he was still having problems saying it out loud.

“I can understand your fear Tom. You are still working through your problems and aren’t ready to publicize your orientation; in fact you are still coming to terms with you. I am not going to pressure you to speak with them either. But it is an idea that I want you to continue to give thought to. Only you can decide when it is the right time.” Dave’s words made Tom feel better, the fact that the man had so much confidence in him to do the right thing.

They talked for awhile longer, Dave giving him more details on different kinds of art that Tom could use to begin to use to transition. They covered altered art and Caricatures and several other techniques. Before they left Dave gave him a bit of advice.

“You don’t talk much about your friends Tom. From that I gather that you have either broken off contact with the ones you had or are still hanging out with them. I want to encourage you to try and find a more positive influence. You told me once that the individuals you associated with often helped you in your bullying of others.

I know you have abstained from physical violence and I am quite proud of you but a positive circle of friends might well be able to help you more. They need not know you are gay, just people with whom you have a more positive common interest. Perhaps there is an art club or class at you school that you could look into?”

Dave was right; Tom was still hanging around with Robinson and a few other idiots. All of them had been his fellow tormentors in the past. He knew that hanging out with them was a bad idea but without them he would be completely alone…and he didn’t think he could handle that. They may have thought he was the same old gay bashing prick but at least they talked to him, even though he had stopped messing around with people.

As for the art class or clubs…he had considered that too and the idea was very appealing to him. He would have liked to get back around people who enjoyed painting or drawing, even if they ignored him as an asshole at first, he figured he would be able to change their minds; and hoped it would have a positive effect on his work.

The only problem with that though was his dad…art in any form was for girls and sissies, not something the jock son of a prominent lawyer engaged in. It was all about the sports, about being in with the ‘in’ crowd, padding daddies’ reputation. That was the reason he kept his sketch pad hidden from his father, hardly ever using it.

“Thanks for the advice Mr. Watcher. I’ll keep it in mind.” Tom said before shaking Dave’s hand, a genuine smile on his face.

“You’re welcome Tom, as I said you can talk about anything you like here. I am here to help you.” Tom wasn’t able to reply, not through the lump in his throat. A simple nod was all he could manage before he left.

To be continued……

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************   

I want to thank Rush for her work in editing, without her I would be nowhere. As always, I love to get your thoughts and opinions so feel free to email me at allenarcane88@yahoo.com, drop me a PM, write me a review or visit the discussion forum.

I read and respond to everything.

http://tinyurl.com/ygmmkep (Discussion Forum link)