Before And After the Divorce - 15. The Dates, and Planning a Group Outing

Saturday

All day long, I'm nervous about tonight's date. It's just dinner, but when dad gets here, well, let's just say the nervousness raises a few notches. Then it almost completely disappears.

"Ready for the big date?"

"It's not a big date, dad. It's just dinner."

"I'm sure you'll find something to do afterward."

"I'm not even going to ask what you mean."

"Didn't think you needed to. Don't worry about rushing home. I have sleepwear and a change of clothes for tomorrow. Just let me know if you're spending the night."

"Oh, God, dad. We hardly know each other. That's not going to happen."

"Well, just in case. Do you have any condoms?"

"Chri... What am I? A teenager?"

By this time dad is ROTFLHAO. He got me good.

"OK. You got me. You taught me to respect my elders, so I'm not going to tell you to go fuck yourself."

"Thanks, son. I appreciate you not doing that."

By now we're both laughing. It's hard to be nervous when you're laughing. I think he accomplished his goal.

"There's plenty in the freezer, so help yourself to whatever you and Dominic want."

"We will. I know my way around a kitchen. Have a good time, and don't do anything I wouldn't..."

He couldn't complete the thought before he started laughing again.

"Well, I definitely wouldn't do anything you would do. So that doesn't leave me a lot of choices. See you later."

"Have fun."

I get to Applebee's a couple minutes early, tell the hostess I'm meeting someone, a tall, dark-haired man with facial burns. She hasn't seen him yet. I turn to sit down in the waiting area and he's walking in. My heart skips a beat. I stand up, step toward him and shake his hand. I'm not going to kiss him on the cheek or even hug him in a restaurant lobby.

"Hi Dylan. Been waiting long?"

"Nope, got here two minutes ago."

The hostess guides us to a booth. We sit on opposite sides, neither of us comfortable enough with sitting next to each other, yet. A minute later the waitress stops by to take our drink orders. He gets a Jack and Coke, I go with my go to drink, a boilermaker. She asks if I have preferences.

"Jack and blue moon, no orange."

"Right away, gentlemen."

"Well, we have JD in common. If all else fails, we can get drunk together. I have a small bar I visit sometimes. I order a Jackson coke there."

"Clever."

"I'm guessing I'm not the only Jackson who's thought of it."

"Well, then you're all clever. Do you go there often?"

"Not really. Once every two or three weeks, if I have a more stressful day than usual. I have two, shoot the shit with whomever's there, and go home."

The waitress comes back with our drinks and takes our dinner orders. We spend the time between that and the food arriving telling each other a little about ourselves. I knew was a teacher, and extremely smart, but that was about it. I told him about being a carpenter, then promoted to a foreman. A foreman that works alongside his employees, but I was still in charge. We didn't touch on his facial burns; I wasn't about to bring it up. I'm guessing he will, in his own time. After the basic stuff, it got a little more personal.

"Dominic told me his mother passed away recently. I'm sorry for your loss. He seems to be handling it pretty well."

"Thank you. And he is. I've taken him to a child psychologist, and he said that he felt Dominic was mature for his age, like you did on Tuesday."

"Were you married long?"

"About seven years. We were divorced for the last 11 months or so."

"Dominic didn't mention that. He did say you were all living together when she died. That seems a little odd if you were already divorced."

I gave him a condensed version of the story. I started from when the when the tumor was diagnosed, covered it disappearing, and then the crazy last day. I wasn't ready to share why we got divorced. I'm hoping he won't ask. I should have prayed.

"Wow. And neither you nor Dominic is a basket case. You're both extremely strong."

"He is. I just have to keep keeping on, for him."

"I don't believe that's all it is. Most men would still be an emotional wreck. Especially gay men."

Time to deflect the complimenting.

"Well, anyway. So, you've never been married? Just never found the right guy?"

"Yes and no. I thought I found him at one point, but the closer we got, the more of an asshole I discovered he was. It was hard to break up with him, but I knew I wasn't going to keep my sanity if we stayed together. Not to mention be bruise-free."

"He hit you?"

"That's putting it mildly. Your father seems like a nice guy."

I noticed his quick change of subject, so I didn't belabor the boyfriend topic. Just as well, my experience there wasn't too good either.

"Yeah. He's the best father a guy could have. Support right from when I came out. He decided to sell his house and move closer after Lacy died so he could help out."

"That's a big sacrifice. So, he's retired?"

"Almost, but he works remotely. He's a software engineer. His company asked him to go remote because they wanted to reduce their real estate footprint. Since he can program from anywhere, it worked. The timing was pretty fortuitous, actually. He comes to the apartment mid-afternoon, finishes his workday while Dominic's doing his homework, even starts dinner most days."

"Sorry if this is too personal, but how did it work while you were married? Being gay, I mean."

"Well, most of the marriage I didn't know, or even think, I was gay. Then I met someone, we got together for more than drinks a couple times. He moved on. I realized I liked being with another man. After going the anonymous route, I got caught. Three days later I got the divorce papers."

"Whew. She turned around quick."

"I think she'd already had the tumor at that point in time. She was nice one minute, hated my guts the next day, and then went back to being nice a few times before the final shoe dropped."

"Ah. The emotional roller coaster. But again, you seem to have recovered well."

"Yeah. Again, I have no choice."

The discussion moved away from relationships during dinner. The moment came when it was time to decide what to do next. I paid the check, said he could get it next time, and we went outside.

"I've already had my self-imposed limit of two drinks, but the night is still young. Do you want to come back to my place, keep talking, maybe watch a movie?"

"Yes, if that's all it is. I'm not ready to jump into anything physical yet."

"No worries. Strictly a hands-off evening. I feel the same way. After being burned by Zach, I'm taking... What"

He obviously saw the look of total shock on my face.

"You said Zach. That's either a crazy coincidence or totally fucking weird. The guy I told you about, a couple 'dates.' His name was Zach too."

"Washington, average height, a little stocky, black?"

"Holy fuck. Yeah. Damn, that's the second time."

"Second time?"

"Let me follow you to your place, not a good subject to talk about in front of a restaurant."

I followed him home. He had a small house in a pretty good section of town. We got inside, he got us a couple sodas and the conversation continued.

"So, second time?"

"Yeah. This is just so freaky. Anyway. I met another guy bowling. We went out a few times. Never got past mutual masturbation. This was after Lacy's tumor disappeared. Lacy tells me she invited her new boyfriend over for dinner on the upcoming Saturday. I thought she'd want me to take Dominic out somewhere. She thought he acted effeminate at times and wanted my take on him, thinking I had a strong sense of gaydar. Anyway, she's getting ready when the doorbell rings. I open the door, and it's Herb. The guy I was seeing."

"Oh, fuck. You were dating the same guy? At the same time?"

"Yeah. Dinner went OK because neither of us said anything about it, but I told Lacy who Herb was afterward. Needless to say, neither one of us saw him again. He even quit the bowling league."

"And now you find out that I was dating a guy after you were."

"Yeah. He still works for the company as far as I know. When he first started, we worked together, but when I got my promotion, I was given a different team. Zach actually came to Lacy's viewing. Basically, just said he was sorry and left. He didn't seem the type to go around hitting people."

"He wasn't at first with me, but he changed. Then about two weeks... Oh my God."

"What?"

"He got all dressed up one night, didn't say where he was going. He came to my house after whatever it was. He was angry, and smacked the shit out of me. I told him to get out and never come back. I didn't know what happened. At the time I didn't care. It must have been the night of Lacy's viewing. Two weeks ago, this coming Monday?"

"Yep."

"I wonder what made him angry."

"No clue, unless it had something to do with seeing me again, even though it was for like, five minutes."

"Wow. Well, if it doesn't work out between us, I'll make sure to never date a guy named Herb."

"You don't need to discount all Herbs, just Herb Halklingder."

We had a laugh about that. It seems we had more in common than I thought we did. Other men. We found a movie on Prime to watch. At one point he asked if he could hold my hand. I figured that was innocent enough and said yes. After the movie, we hugged, I said goodnight and we made plans to go out again next Friday night.

Friday

During that week, things went along as usual, with one difference. The Penguins pre-season games started and every night, Dominic begged to be able to go to the game on Saturday night. I checked with dad and Jackson, I figured we'd make a night of it. They both agreed, so I bought the tickets. Dominic was happy as a pig in shit the rest of the week. Dad came by as usual to be with Dominic on Friday. He was sitting with him, watching TV when I walked in from work. He tried to give me the business again about my date with Jackson. He was a little more tame this time since Dominic was in the room.

"You're home a little later than usual."

"Yeah. We're working on an addition, and the new guy screwed up a couple window frames. We had to take them down and board up the holes because the window wouldn't fit. Couldn't leave with it wide open into the house."

"You're going to be late for your date."

"Nope, I called Jackson and said I'd be there at 7 instead."

"Where's there?"

"Nope, you're not going to drag me into one of those again."

"Just curious."

"Fine. He's making me dinner at his house."

Dad started snickering.

"Just make sure you're home in time for the hockey game tomorrow."

"Damn. I walked into it again. I won't be spending the night. We're still getting to know each other."

"Grandpa, dad said he wasn't going to sex with Mr. Trevon right away because he didn't know him well enough."

Then he laughed, happy he was part of the joke.

"Great. Now you've dragged him into the ribbing. I'm going to take a shower."

After my shower, I dressed in a polo shirt and my cleanest pair of jeans. They happened to be my tightest ones as well. I'm not completely sure which was the deciding factor. Maybe I subconsciously wanted more from the relationship with Jackson? I shaved, brushed my teeth and hair. I used a different brush for each, in case you were wondering. I stepped out into the living room again, expecting another volley of wise-ass comments. I wasn't wrong, just disappointed.

"I think your father thinks he knows Jackson well enough now, Dominic."

"Cool. Are you going to sex with Mr. Trevon?"

"OK. That's enough. Dominic, you're too young to be worried about anybody having sex with anybody. I don't want to hear that from you for, let's say ten years. And I want a true apology, or the hockey game is off tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, dad. I won't say it again. Grandpa thought it was funny, so he said I should say that."

"And you, grandpa. You should know better than to talk that way in front of a child as young as Dominic. I'll be early, but I'm leaving. I've had enough of you for now."

"You're right. I'm sorry too, son."

"Fine. Let's not do this again! OK? Bye."

I kissed Dominic on the forehead goodbye and sent my father a death stare. I think he got the point.

When I got to Jackson's house, I sat in my truck for an extra minute. The drive wasn't long enough to calm down from the abuse. It was funny the first time. But only the first time. I hoped the anger was off my face when I rang the doorbell. I was wrong.

"Hi Dylan. Come on in. What's wrong?"

"Can I get a drink first?"

"Sure. Rocks, water, shot?

"I think a shot."

He comes back with a shot of JD. It's gone in one swallow. I know it's not enough, but I'm not going to get myself drunk in front of him. I sat down, spinning the shot glass in my fingers.

"OK. So, what happened. You're upset, or angry, I can't tell which. Something I did?"

Another deep breath.

"No, it's my father. He thought he was having a little fun at my expense, but it went too far."

"What did he do?"

"Last week before our date he teased me about it, saying let him know if I was spending the night. Don't do anything he wouldn't do, etc. It was funny. I thought maybe it was because I was nervous about the date, maybe because it was just the first time that he teased me about you. Both of those were wrong. So, tonight, he does it again. Says something like make sure you're home in time for the hockey game. The big difference is that Dominic was there. We'd had a talk about my seeing you and he asked if we were going to have sex. I said no and gave him a good reason why not. After dad's comment, Dominic asks if I know you well enough now to, as he put it, sex with you. My father put him up to it. I made Dominic apologize and walked out in a huff."

"Let me get you another one."

"Water and ice, please. I don't want to get drunk."

"You got it."

He returned with the drink and took away the shot glass. I took a sip and tried to gather my thoughts.

"I really don't know why I blew up at them. It was mostly innocent teasing."

"I have a couple theories if you'd like to hear them."

"Yes, please."

"First, you've been under a lot of stress lately, coming back from Lacy's illness, then death. I'd imagine you haven't been able to grieve fully."

"That's possible, I suppose. What else?"

"What your father said troubled you, because deep down, you knew what he was saying was somewhat true. I know you're attracted to me, just like I'm attracted to you. I'd love to be able to do more with you. But I agree with you that we should take it slow. We both had issues with a relationship with a male friend that didn't work out as we expected. Beter to go slow and if it doesn't work out, we're not hurt as badly. From my side of the fence, I'm not seeing any reason why it wouldn't work. But you know as well as anybody, probably even more so, that shit happens."

"I think you're right on both fronts. After I got dressed to come here, I wondered to myself if I put on my tightest jeans because, subconsciously, I did want more. Maybe I wanted to, I don't know, impress you with my body."

"I'm already impressed. I wouldn't need you in tight jeans to be impressed any further. But since you wore them, stand up, turn around slowly so I can get a good look."

I can't tell if you're kidding or not."

"A little kid, a little, shit, a lot, serious. Go ahead."

I hesitate.

"Please?"

I stand up and turn around slowly, after a full 360, I look at Jackson.

"I was wrong. I am even more impressed."

Just then, a bell was ringing in the kitchen.

"Saved by the bell. Dinner's ready. Come on into the kitchen. We'll eat, gather our thoughts and feelings, and then talk some more."

"Sounds good. Smells good. I didn't realize how hungry I was. I only ate half my sandwich for lunch because somebody bumped me and it fell into the dirt."

"Shit, I would have picked it up and eaten it."

"So would I. But guess where Mr. Bump's next step was."

"Oh. He crushed half your sandwich. Well, fear not. There are enough chicken breasts to feed an army. Well, a family of four, anyway."

He's a pretty good cook. If I tried cooking that, half the chicken would be burnt, and the other half almost raw. His was cooked to perfection. Chicken breasts, breaded and topped with Mozzarella and sauce, and what looked like fresh asparagus.

"This tastes wonderful. Where'd you learn to cook?"

"My mom. I was out pretty young, and she taught me a lot. She said if I ever got married, one man should know how to cook. I have a half-dozen things that almost always turn out well, and a bunch more that vary between slightly better than acceptable and very good."

"I'm guessing this is part of the first bunch."

"It is."

"Well, it's very good. I could do this, but the asparagus would come out of a can, and the chicken parmigiana would be from Stouffer's."

"Thank God you ordered pizza last week. We may still be recovering from food poisoning."

He said that with a huge grin on his face, so I knew he was just joking. I must have flinched or something.

"That was a joke. I'm not attacking you or your cooking. I'm sorry."

"I know it was. Just for an instant I was back home, and it was my father teasing me. All is forgiven."

We finished dinner. I helped him clean up and we retired to the living room. He put in a movie, but damned if I could remember what it was. I started thinking about what he said about the stress. I broke down and cried in his arms, on and off, for two hours.

Next up - "Getting Serious, and More New Problems"